Winter has finally set in here in Israel. With cold weather, rain and wind in
the north and central parts of the country.
The rockets aren’t falling near me, but the stones are. Those
"neighbours" of ours are out throwing stones again in our area. Mostly I travel
with the bullet - proof Egged bus, but we have lots of families here with private
cars and renting cars with glass windows. My son lives in Ashdod where the
bombs are falling. For Shabbas he is with his wife’s family in Emanuel, also not
one of the safest places going in and out.
Yes, the southern part of the country is having its own storm as we all
know.
And here in the mountains on Metzad, its below zero at night. That
means leaving the tap water running slightly so the pipes don’t freeze and bust
. And I left my warm winter gloves in a taxi today, and my black hat on the
Egged bus a couple of weeks ago, and it hasn’t turned up yet... so the mussar
haskale is I gotta get my head out of the clouds...
And now for a word of Torah :
What happened in the seconds between the time that Yosef
ordered all the Egyptians out of the room, and the time that he revealed himself
to his brothers ? That split second, what could have happened ? What a chance
Yosef was taking ? Yehuda especially, was ready and waiting for the moment to
kill him. The brothers had already divided the land into 12 sections and each
was conquering a piece. They thought, when Yosef sent all his people away,
"What a fool, now we will kill him and grab Benyamin and escape back to Eretz
Yisroel."
So how could Yosef be so foolish as to send out all
who could save him and leave himself so vulnerable ?
Now that the special days of Chanukah have passed, we look to about six weeks of Winter until Tu B’Shvat arrives and the first indications of blossoming flowers and fruits arrive in Eretz Yisroel. The thought of Winter may make one feel chilled (even the word “Kar” sounds a bit frosty), but we, as Ma’aminim Bnei Ma’aminim, must realize that it is an opportunity for special, and, in fact, necessary growth--as this is the situation and circumstance in which Hashem in His Omniscient Wisdom has placed us.
So, we are faced with surroundings of leafless trees, long nights, cold days, bone-drenching rains, and for some of us a little or a lot of ice, sleet and snow. Can we succeed at all in this environment? No doubt that we can succeed--and thrive.
We would first like to reiterate a suggestion that we have made in the past--that you take the next 40 days in a row and, at least one time a day, make the brocha of SheHakol NiHeYeh Bidevaro and the brocha of Borei Nefashos with the special **warm** feeling that Hashem loves you with an unbounding love and wants to shower bracha of all kind upon you.
We would also like to provide a second thought based upon the teachings of HaRav Meir Schuck, Zt’l, the Temesvar Rav. HaRav Schuck brings the words of Rebbe Shimon (Avos 2:18): “Be meticulous in reading the Shema and in prayer; when you pray, do not make your prayer a set routine but rather [beg for] compassion and supplicate before the Omnipresent....” HaRav Schuck notes that, at first glance, this Mishna does not appear to belong in Mesechta Avos, which teaches us pious behavior, and not required conduct. After all, are not the proper recitation of Shema and Shemone Esrei absolute Halachic requirements? Indeed, there are literally scores of chapters in Shulchan Aruch relating to the Laws of Kriyas Shema and Shemone Esrei! HaRav Schuck, therefore, concludes that Rebbe Shimon wants us to understand that even when reciting Kriyas Shema and Tefillah properly--with no talking, no interruptions, starting on time, properly enunciating the words and reciting them loud enough to hear them, etc., there is still another important dimension of which we must continuously remind ourselves. That is, each Kriyas Shema, each Shemone Esrei, is very literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, for it will never recur. Yes, you have recited Kriyas Shema and Shemone Esrei thousands and thousands of times, but are you taking the opportunity to be “zahir”--careful to recognize and appreciate--that this particular Shema and Shemone Esrei in front of you is a one-time opportunity and should not get lost in all those thousands of occasions that you have had until today, and B’Ezras Hashem, the tens of thousands that you will have in the future? One should not simply “be Yotzei” his “obligation” by routine. Instead, one should avoid the negative habit, the dry rote, the repetitive redundancy by taking a moment out before each Shema and Shemone Esrei to appreciate--and treasure--the truly monumental opportunity. As one peeks out the window, and things may seem to look cold and bleary, day in and day out, as the pattern of Winter appears to be almost nothing but darkness, we should break out and recognize the new, fresh, stand-alone opportunities of the day--Two Shema affirmations and Three Shemone Esrei private encounters with the Almighty.
When we apply this thought, we will be doing something substantial here in the back lines, and may our Geulah come speedily and in these days.
Now that our people are at War, our Tehillim recitation has most likely increased in quantity or quality, and hopefully in both. In order to for us to properly appreciate the great sanctity and power of Tehillim, we provide the following thoughts, as excerpted from the Yalkut Me’am Lo’ez on Tehillim--one volume in a wonderful series entitled The Torah Anthology, published in English by Moznaim Publishing Company:
a. Everything the Jewish people were to go through in the course of their history: the moments and conditions of light and joy and the long spells of darkness, suffering and exile--all these Dovid HaMelech himself went through in the course of his life and gave expression to them in the words of Tehillm. Through Tehillim his distress came to reflect their distress, his joys and exultations in cleaving to Hashem became their songs of joy and faith and cleaving to the light of the Divine Presence. When he pleaded for himself, he pleaded for the entire nation, for he knew his people intimately. In his darkest moments, Dovid HaMelech did not despair. Hakhel Note: At a recent Hakhel Shiur, Rabbi Yisroel Reisman, Shlita, taught that whenever the word “Laila” is mentioned in Tehillim, it does not refer to nighttime per se, but to a period of darkness.
b. The Midrash says that Dovid HaMelech composed the five books of Tehillim to correspond to the Five Books of the Torah. Because it is meaningless to study Torah without fear of Hashem, Dovid came along to teach fear of Hashem by means of Sefer Tehillim.
c. Principally it is called Tehillim because this holy Sefer consists of the hymns of praise and thanksgiving to Hashem who created the world out of nothing. Thus, the letters of Tehillim can be said to stand for “Tehillos Hodaos L’Borei Yesh Mai’ayin--Praises and Thanks, to the Creator of something from nothing.”
d. When a person recites Tehillim, he possesses a quality of Heaven, as it says, “The Heavens relate the glory of Hashem” (Tehillim, 19:2); and he possesses a quality of the stars, as it says, “When the morning stars sang” (Iyov, 38:7).
e. When a person recites Tehillim, it is as if it were being uttered by Dovid himself. Dovid prayed that his own lips should move in the grave whenever Tehillim are recited.
f. The She’loh writes: “Anyone whose Neshama desires to cleave to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, let him cling to the book of Tehillim.”
g. When one recites Tehillim, he is offering a prayer and he is also studying Torah, in accordance with Dovid HaMelech’s wish that anyone reciting Tehillim be considered as if he were studying the most difficult subject matter in Gemara (and be rewarded accordingly).
h. The total number of 150 Chapters of Tehillim is the numerical equivalent of “Hachna’a”--which indicates humble submissiveness, and the same is the numerical value of “Kaas”--anger. That is to say, reciting Tehillim helps to eliminate the sin of anger in a person.
i. The author of the Chikrei Lev writes that whenever calamity would strike in his community, whether it was a personal tragedy or a common affliction, he would institute no special prayer. Instead, Tehillim would be recited many times and with devout concentration, and then he would add the words: “Dovid HaMelech, Alav HaShalom, will be my intercessor. He will be the mouth that speaks for me, and he will commend me to our Father in Heaven.”------------
The above should help to infuse within us a greater feeling and even passion for reciting Tehillim in these difficult times that we are going through. Dovid HaMelech is with us. The Heavens are with us. Our soul needs to pour forth in expression. We should take those extra few moments to recite one or more Kapitalich of Tehillim a day with the feeling, concentration and devotion that it so richly deserves.
מה שצדיקים יכולים לפעול בראש השנה
ויום כיפור יכול כל אדם פשוט לפעול בזאת חנוכה
הבית ישראל מגער אמר שגם אחר חנוכה נמשך
ההשפעה דקדושת ורשימת חנוכה
שהלא קוראים זאת חנוכת המזבח ביום המשך אתו
וגם זאת חנוכת המזבח אחרי המשח אתו
As Today is Zos Chanukah, It is said
from the Heiligeh Rizhner Zy"a, that what Great Tzaddikim can accomplish on Rosh
Hashonah & Yom Kippur, can a plain person accomplish on Zos
Chanukah.
If it is no longer Chanukah by you,
The Beis Yisroel of Ger would say on the Psukim we read today - Zos Chanukas
Hamizbei’ach biyom himoshach oissoy & then in possuk 82 Zos chanukas
Hamizbbei’ach achrei himoshach oisoy.
The Kedushah & Segulos of Chanukah accompany us a
whole year.
May we be Zoche to a Gemar Chasima Tova as it is quoted
from the Arizal Zy"a.
"And Yosef
recognized his brothers, but they didn’t recognize him." (Breishis
42:8)
In this week’s
parsha the master plan of the Almighty to bring the Jewish People down to Egypt
begins to unfold. Yaakov sends his sons down to Egypt to buy food because of a
famine in the Land of Canaan. They approach the Viceroy of Egypt to appeal for
food without realizing that he is none other than their brother Yosef. Why
didn’t they recognize him? Did thirteen years make such a difference in his
appearance that they couldn’t discern that it was their own brother? Indeed,
Yosef recognized them after the years of separation.
The Baal Haturim as
well as other commentators explain that since the brothers sold Yosef to be a
lowly slave they couldn’t imagine that he could reach such a height as becoming
the second in command of the entire Egyptian nation. Think a little about what
this tells us about our nature !!
Rosh Chodesh : When
Rosh Chodesh falls on Shabbas, there is a minhag to prepare an extra dish,
something different as a sign that it is a different Shabbas, and now when its
...
Hanuka : When
Hanuka falls on shabbas, there is also a minhag to prepare an extra dish.
So now we have for this special Shabbas, two
extra dishes. Two items that you might not have on a normal Shabbas
And that’s the
order. tadir ve aino tadir, tadir Kodem. What we do most often, and something
that is not so often, we do the one we do more often - first.
In other words, the
day is short and the time is moving. First prepare your normal Shabbas food,
then the extra for Rosh Chodesh, and finally the extra dish for
Hanuka.
If you want my
Poulet a La Basque recipe, let me know and I will try and write it for you in
the few remaining seconds I have before Shabbas.
The psalmist, having compared the children of Israel to the grapevine, advocates on their behalf."Why have You breached its fences, and all who pass by the way pluck its fruit?The boar from the wood ravages it, and the wild bird devours it (Psalm 80:13-14)."Assaf compares Hashem to the vine-dresser who tears down the fences of the vineyard, abandoning it.His question begins as a complaint that G-D should not have permitted the fence breakages and abandonment of the vineyard.The Da’at Mikra elaborates on the wording "You breached" in reference to G-D having broken the fences.This suggests that it was not the enemies’ prowess that overcame Israel, but that it was Hashem who gave them the strength to overpower us.The grapevine, no longer protected by its fences, is an easy target for predators who freely feed on its fruit.Not only do humans eat of the fruit, but the wild boar and birds, capable of inflicting great damage, ravage as well.
Lesson 1 If someone shows you something they just bought, try not to say anything negative about the item (its quality, durability, price, limitations etc) unless it is necessary to do so for practical and constructive purposes. The more expensive the item, the more careful we must be. Rather, try to find something about it that you can praise.
Lesson 2 When someones shows you something they bought, avoid disparaging remarks like "I bought the same thing and didn’t like it." While you may be unhappy with your purchase, the other person may have different standards and tastes and could be pleased with theirs. Our negative comments can make them focus on what they don’t like instead of emphasizing the positive.
(Lessons taken from The Power of Words by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin)
Thank you for learning! Have a great day! - Ora
"If it is speech that makes us human, it is how we speak that determines what kind of human being we are" (R’ Ginzburg)
Chanukah is a day closer! We begin a series of Halachos relating to Chanukah. This first Halacha is provided by The Vaad L’maan Yahadus of Los Angeles (Rabbi Gershon Bess, Shlita). The Vaad can be contacted at 323-933-5031.
Time Zone: The Poskim discuss the situation in which a person is traveling by plane (unable to light) and is in a different time zone than his wife. According to the Minchas Yitzchok, if he is in a time zone “ahead” of his wife (candle-lighting has already arrived for him), she may light and he will thereby fulfill the mitzvah. If, however, he is in a time zone “behind” his wife (candle-lighting time has not yet arrived where he is), it is questionable whether he can fulfill his obligation with her lighting (before it is the time for him to light). HaRav Elyashiv, Shlita, holds that he will not fulfill his obligation, unless his wife lights at a time when he is traveling over land, where it is candle lighting time below, on the ground. If his wife lights at that time, he will fulfill his obligation. HaRav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, Z’tl, is of the opinion that, since the mitzvah is light in his home, and his wife is lighting in his home during the proper time (for her), he thereby fulfills the mitzvah, no matter where he is. Obviously, one should try to avoid such a situation.
-------------------------- Hakhel MIS --------------------------
We continue with our Halachos of Chanukah series. The following questions and answers are culled from Derech Sicha (Teshuvos of HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, Shlita).
a. In the HaNeiros Halalu, we recite, “V’Chol Shemonas Yemai Chanukah…”--and on all eight days of Chanukah, the Neiros are holy, and we cannot use them for any another purpose. Why do we need to emphasize that this restriction on use is true on all eight days? After all, Chanukah is eight days. Why would any day be different? Is it because I would think that the first day is different because it celebrates the miracle that oil burns in the first place, as there was a container of oil that was found for the first day?
Answer: One can also suggest that the first day celebrates the miraculous victory in war, and that, nevertheless, even on the first day one may not use the neiros of Chanukah for any other purpose.
b. Is it better to prepare your own wicks, or to purchase the pre-packaged wicks? If you buy the pre-packaged wicks, you can save ten minutes or more in preparation time!
Answer: For someone who would otherwise be learning, he should buy the pre-packaged wicks. If not, let him spend the time on the Mitzvah!
c. If one arrives home late, is it permissible to wake up his parents, so that he can light candles in the presence of his household?
Answer: It depends upon whether they (or either one of them) would appreciate it. If you are in doubt, do not wake them up.
d. What is preferable: To purchase a Menorah which is made of silver but is not so aesthetically pleasing, or to purchase one made of a cheaper metal, but which appears nicer?
Answer: The silver menorah is preferable.
e. Did they light the Chanukah menorah in the Bais HaMikdosh as we do in our Shuls?
Answer: They could not do so in the Azara, for that would be a question of Baal Tosif, but in a place(s) where they slept and ate (in the Lishkos--the side chambers), it would appear that they did light--Pirsumei Nisa even in the Bais HaMikdosh!
-------------------------- Hakhel MIS --------------------------
The greatest of all virtues is the attainment of the Iyan Tova, i.e., a "good eye". That is, a completely positive view of others - to see the good in every human being.
If a person sees someone act improperly and thereby invalidates that person, he has weakened the bond of brotherhood - the very fabric of community. Since there is no human being that does not have some flaw, one who has a tendency to judge others, will find some blemish in everyone.
Therefore, we should be aware that while the essence of the human being is good, nevertheless, he is still vulnerable to the influence of the negative impulse. However, if a person acts inappropriately, rest assured that he regrets his lack of discretion. In addition, let’s consider that if we were in his shoes, we might have acted worse than him. Therefore, we should never invalidate another person, regardless of what they have done.
King Solomon said (Mishlei 22:9): "One who has a ’good eye’ will be blessed." Thus one who maintains a positive view of others will be blessed - continuously and abundantly - throughout his entire life. Just as he wishes for the good and rejoices in the success of others, so too, HaShem will bless him with countless blessings, success, and abundant happiness. Indeed, he will never lack anything for the ’kindness of HaShem will surround him’.
Regarding the ’good eye’ there is no middle ground. If we do not view others in a positive light, then by force of human nature, we will see them unfavorably. Therefore, we should attach ourselves - exclusively - to the trait of a ’good eye’. By viewing our brethren in positive way, the wonderful treasures of HaShem will flow into our lives and illuminate our souls with joy and peace. [Based on Har Yira, of Rav Arye Finkel]
TODAY: Focus on the good in every person that comes into your life.
In one of the most enigmatic passages of the Torah we find the account of Yehudah and his daughter-in-law, Tamar. The Midrash explains that since she was covered with a veil, Yehudah did not recognize her. As he passed her on the crossroads he wished to avoid her and continue on his journey, but HaShem sent the angel who is charge of desire to appear to Yehudah, and he said to him, "Where are you going, Yehudah? If you pass by her, from where will kings arise, from where will redeemers arise?" Therefore, "he turned to her" - in spite of himself and against his will.
Subsequently, Tamar gave birth to twin boys and one of them, Peretz, was the progenitor of King David. Our Sages explained that if the events that engendered King David and the messianic dynasty had not happened in this mysterious fashion, then they would have never materialized! The fundamental principle that underlies the manifestation of the messianic kingship is absolute secretiveness.
HaShem, only Him and no other, brings about the events that beget the messiah. No human being, not even the progenitors of the messianic family, can have any knowledge or awareness of the ramifications of what is taking place. Rather the entire process is masterminded by HaShem and must be totally concealed from the hearts of man.
The spirituality, wisdom, and holiness of the messianic family supersede human nature. Thus, the phenomenon of the messiah does emerge through the normative process. It must be shrouded in secrecy in order not to awaken the counter forces, who would attempt to destroy good. Hence, HaShem, alone, prepares and activates the plan that ultimately will bless the world with knowledge of G-d, light, and peace.
In addition, no man can be consciously aware of his role in the emergence of the messiah, so that when the sun of messianic age rises like a brilliant light, every soul will know that HaShem, alone, brought forth this glorious deliverance.
May our prayers ascend unto Heaven - awakening mercy - so that HaShem brings about the glorious redemption. [Based on Da’as Torah of Rav Yerucham of Mir]
TODAY: Say a private prayer asking HaShem to bring the Messiah.
Towards the end of
the parsha Yosef is falsely accused and placed in an Egyptian prison. One
morning Yosef finds two of the Royal servants very distressed. They had strange
dreams and Yosef offers to interpret them. He gives brilliant interpretations to
their dreams, and exactly as Yosef predicted the Royal Wine Pourer is freed from
prison and returned to his position of honor. Before being freed Yosef beseeches
him to appeal to Pharaoh for Yosef's pardon from prison. In the end he forgets
all about Yosef.
"And the Royal
Wine Pourer did not remember Yosef and forgot about him." (Breishis
40:23)
The Baal Haturim
comments that the Royal wine pourer was a kafuee tova, an ingrate. He
didn't appreciate the kindness that Yosef did for him.
Rashi comments on
the seeming redundancy of this verse. Not remembering and forgetting would seem
to be the same. Rashi explains that he didn't remember Yosef on the day he was
freed. In other words he didn't mention Yosef to Pharoah on the first day. After
that he forgot all about Yosef. On the day the Royal Wine Pourer was freed he
obviously remembered about Yosef but chose to push off mentioning him to
Pharaoh. In the ensuing days he totally forgot about Yosef.
Had the Royal Wine
Pourer had a sense of appreciation he would have made a point of immediately
trying to help Yosef. Instead, because of callous lack of appreciation, he
allowed himself to forget about Yosef over time. After two years, when it served
his own self interest to help interpret Pharaoh's dream, he remembered about
Yosef.
A person with a
sense of appreciation will go out of his way to show appreciation. He won't
allow forgetfulness to stand in the way of showing gratitude. When something is
important to us we make a point to remember.
I thank Rabbi
Beryl Glaser, my neighbor and friend for this interesting word.
Have
a great Shabbas and I'll send out my Hanuka word shortly
In
verse 33/4 it says, " And Esau ran to meet him, and he embraced him, and fell on
his neck, and kissed him, and they wept." In the Torah, over the words "and
kissed him", VA-YISH-A-KAY-HU, each letter has a dot over it. A rare
occurrence in the Torah. By these dots the Torah is telling that some special
event is taking place. Rashi asks this question and brings a Braisa from the
Sifre to explain a difference of opinion as to what transpired when Esau kissed
Yacov. The Tanna Kamma is of the opinion that Esau hates (sone) Yacov, and that
it is an absolute law. He did not kiss him with a full heart. It was only a
physical external act, and Esau can never love Yacov. And every occasion that
you might think that Esau loves Yacov it is a fake , a trick, and only a
external act but not the real thing. This is what the dots are coming to tell
us.
On the other hand, in the Braisa of the Sifre, there is Rav Shimon Ben
Yochai. He says that even though the rule is Esau hates Yacov, at that moment
his heart was moved and he did kiss him with a full heart. In other words,
according to this opinion, Esau hates Yacov because of circumstances and if you
change the circumstances, as in this case where Yacov brought gifts and touched
his heart in other ways, it is possible for Esau to change. Esau hates Yacov
ordinarily, but if you really talk from the heart to the heart, there is the
capacity to change the hatred for a temporary moment.
When I heard this
little Torah from Rav David Goldstien, my chaver in the Diapora Yeshiva, I found
it odd and difficult to understand this second side of Rav Shimon Ben
Yochai.
Then I heard this story. There was a very learned Rabbi in the Camps. One day
while wearing Tefillin he was spotted by a Nazi guard. He ordered him " STOP,
TURN AROUND" In the split second that it took him to turn around, the Rabbi
made a decision to love the man he would confront with all his full heart. He
turned to look at his executioner,still with his tefillon in full view, and the
Nazi had mercy at that second and let him go. Complete unheard of , the Rabbi
should have been shot on the spot. What changed the situation ? It was the
love that was real from the heart of the Rabbi that had the power to move even
that Nazi. If you think about it, there are countless stories of similar
situations. What this shows me is that there really are two opinions on what
those dots mean on top of the word Kissed. If this second opion is true,
and if G-d forbid we encounter the Esau’s of our day, let us merit to change the
"law" if just for the moment.
Do you know what the gematria of ladder is in Hebrew ? The word is
Sulam and it has the gematria of 136. There is another common word that has
the same Gematria. This word is Mamon in Hebrew. In English it means money.
In this weeks Parsha it says : 28/ 12 -
"...and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reaching to
heaven, ..." In other words, says the Ben Ish Chi on this verse. Money, which
is a ladder, don’t think its solid on the ground, (and you can trust in it), for
its top is in the heavens. Hashem is the Menahel, the commander in chief as to
what happens in this world. And money is like a ladder, upon which one goes up
and down.
The Torah reveals the essence of Yaacov and Eisev through the following verse (Bereishis 25:27): "And Eisev became a man who knew hunting, a man of the field; whereas Yaacov was a pure man who dwelt in tents." It is interesting to note that this description, that contrasts the two brothers, mentions nothing of their specific actions. What’s more, it mentions nothing of Yaacov’s spirituality, i.e., his wisdom, his devotion, his good deeds.
Our sages explain the phrase Yaacov was a pure man who dwelt in tents to mean that Yaacov was a seeker of HaShem. He thirsted to come close to HaShem. His great desire to know HaShem was the genesis of all Yaacov’s purity, knowledge, kindness, and holiness. Once the desire to seek HaShem was awakened in Yaacov’s heart, it was certain that this passion would carry Yaacov to success.
Conversely, Eisev was a man who knew hunting, a man of the field, that is, a degenerate. Eisev was not involved in any worthwhile or constructive activities. He was fixated on self-indulgence, having no aspirations other then romping in the field like one of the animals. His future personality and conduct was determined by his immature ambitions.
The goals that we set for ourselves carry us to either failure or success. Eisev chose a shallow path in life. That preference caused him to lose his entire spiritual fortune.
Conversely, Yaacov wisely set his course in life to seek elevation and redemption. He knew that the pleasures of the soul are the ultimate pleasures. Therefore, he awakened his intellect to seek the eternal Creator - His Goodness and His light. The passion that burnt in Yaacov’s heart propelled him to draw close to HaShem.
May we be inspired to seek holiness by knowing our Creator, as king Solomon said, "Life is found in the light of the King’s countenance."
Implement: Ask yourself, "What did Yaacov consider as the purpose and joy of his life."
"And Lavan and Besuel answered ‘From Hashem has the matter come’" (Bereishis 24:50). Astounding. This simple and straightforward statement, perhaps something we (hopefully) recite constantly to ourselves, or perhaps to our close relatives or friends, is openly affirmed by none other than Lavan and Besuel! Yes, by Lavan and Besuel, those money-grubber of great note, the renowned world-class idol worshippers. Yes, it was they whose first reaction to Eliezer’s request for Rivka to become Yitzchak’s wife was "This is from Hashem." We must ask ourselves--How could this be? What had changed within them in the few brief moments of their encounter with Eliezer? If we look at Eliezer’s words to them we may glean a better insight. In his brief discourse, no less than five times does Eliezer specifically refer to Hashem as his hope and trust, as the source of all of life and life’s events, as the Master of all. He is not intimidated by his company, feels no need to "make nice", does not "talk their language". Rather, he sincerely expresses his belief, openly declares his faith, and unabashedly avers that our lives and everything about them are in G-d’s hands. His genuine sincerity not only strengthened his faith, but made an incredible impact on even the crème de la crème of the wicked.
There is a great lesson to be learned here. We must be upstanding and resolute in declaring that we are, absolutely and unwaveringly, openly and expressly, dedicated to our beliefs. In order to develop this pure, dedicated, wholesome resoluteness within us, it may be a good idea to at least once weekly recite the 13 Ani Ma’amins of the Rambam slowly and with feeling. It may be even further beneficial to express some of these principles from time to time to those around you without fear or shame. It is truly surprising how often these values can come up in, or be added to, the course of a regular or everyday conversation.
If Eliezer could have this effect on Lavan and Besuel--Oh, what we can accomplish!
Special Note Three:
1. In last week’s Parsha, we learn that Yitzchock Avinu was consoled after the passing of his mother, Sara (Bereishis 24:16). In fact, the Rambam brings the mitzvah of performing Chesed, which is based upon "V’Ahavta Lereacha Komocha," in Hilchos Aveil, the Laws of Mourning (14:1). When one properly comforts a mourner, he is doing a Chesed to both the living, and the departed (ibid., 14:7). As great as providing comfort may be, finding the right words to say may be even more difficult. The Rema (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 376:2) importantly tells us what one should not say. "Do not say, however, ‘What can one do, one cannot change what happened,’ for that is not consolation but blasphemy." The Aruch HaShulchan (ibid., at paragraph 5 ) explains that making such a statement implies that you must resign yourself to what happened against your will, rather than comforting the mourner with words of faith, with words that Hashem loves us all and that only He, in His infinite wisdom knows what is best. HaRav Shamshon Refoel Hirsch, Z’TL, echoes this thought and adds that it "is the murmuring of the helpless against his helplessness, not the recognition of the blessed wisdom of G-d" (Horeb page 433, cited in Love Your Neighbor, page 93).
HaRav Feivel Cohen, Shlita, in the recently published Badei HaShulchan on Hilchos Aveilus (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 376:2, seif 27) extends this thought and writes that it is prohibited to make any kind of statement such as "What can one do?" to anyone who is in any kind of difficult situation, in any Tzara, whatsoever. Obviously, one can daven, learn Torah, do mitzvos and especially Chesed, as a zechus for oneself or others--but one should never chas v’shalom, question Hashem’s Supreme Judgment.
2. The Sefer Talelei Oros writes that the author of a new commentary on the Siddur brought it to the Gra, the Vilna Gaon, for his approbation. The Gra opened to the beginning of the manuscript and read that the reason we recite "Adon Olam" in Shachris is because this Tefillah was written by Avraham Avinu, who was the first to call Hashem ‘Adon’, master of the world (i.e., not just its creator). Accordingly, the author wrote, it was appropriate to begin the Shachris prayer, which was instituted by Avrohom Avinu, with Adon Olam, which Avraham Avinu himself composed. The Gra is reported to have said that it would be worthwhile to publish the entire manuscript just to publicize this thought. The Brisker Rav, Z’TL, was asked why the Gra reacted with such excitement to the author’s commentary. The Rav responded that when one finds truth in any measure, whether large or small, he should be excited and react accordingly. This is an important lesson to us--the truth always matters, the truth always counts--in all situations, large or small--and at all times, at home, at work, and on the way.
Lesson 1 Talking about someones poor financial status is considered lashon hora. ex: "my uncle is in debt. Every few weeks he asks my dad to lend him money"
Lesson 2 The reason we are not allowed to speak about someones poor financial status is because it can cause them a) shame and embarrassment b) financial harm - because people won’t want to lend them money c) people will not want to get involved with that person or their family because they are not "self sufficient"
(Lashon hora - reporting something negative about someone else that is TRUE)
(Lessons taken from Purity of Speech by C.T. Friedman)
In Psalm 77, the psalmist speaks of the experience of being tongue-tied, of feeling paralyzed and bereft of speech."When I wish to reflect on G-D, I become agitated; if I desire to meditate, my spirit enshrouds itself [Selah].You did hold fast the guards of my eyes; I was as if I had been crushed and I was unable to speak (Psalm 77:4-5)."There are times when the very contemplation of G-D causes one agitation.One’s distress and trouble diffuses one’s focus, outweighing all other concerns.Our ability to connect with others becomes compromised, affecting our relationship with Hashem.Our equilibrium shattered, we cannot meditate.Our eyes are weighted shut by our worries, and we cannot speak.The remedy to our depression and our emotional paralysis is to actively engage with Hashem, seeking Him until He can be found.
When confronted with his own depression and sense of disconnection from G-D, the psalmist offers us his solution."Then I pondered the days of antiquity, years of ancient times.I recalled the song of my lyre in a night such as this; I conversed with my heart and my mind began to brood (Psalm 77:6-7)."The psalmist revisits the days past, the years when he did feel supported and sustained by G-D.He recalls the song of his lyre, which he played in times of joy in days gone by.Music is a stimulus for memory and may act as a mood elevator.In recalling his previously happy moments and remembering the music played, he is able to transcend his current hopelessness and paralysis.
The psalmist voices the poignant plea of the Jew in exile: "We do not see our signs, there is no longer a prophet, nor is there one among us one who knows anything (Psalm 74:9)."We no longer see the signs testifying to Hashem’s presence dwelling in Israel; the miracles that characterized the Temple period are no longer present.Prophecy is no longer present; we lack a prophet who can offer us consolation and who can advocate on our behalf, seeking Hashem’s mercy. In the era of prophets, there was clarity of Divine communication, which we could choose to follow or disregard.Now, we are without that direct Divine link and feel rudderless and confused.What we need and seek is the redemption and the rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash.