Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud In merit of this learning may Chana Bat Gittel be blessed with an immediate refuah shleima bitoch she’ar cholei yisrael.
Each time we speak negatively of others it is like killing 3 people: 1- The Speaker
I The speaker has been given the gift of speech and they are using it to pit one person against another, to put others down, and to speak of other people’s private business.
II The speaker is also being killed in the eyes of all those are listening. The moment someone speaks badly they become known as the type of person eager to speak gossip and quick to share the dirt. They will not be the person others come to for advice or with whom they entrust their lives.
THE FAITH AND TRUST OF PSALMS____________22:10______
"For You drew me out of the womb; You made me secure when I nursed from my mother."
When a baby is born, he is incapable of seeking his own food. Therefore, the baby’s food source must come from his caregivers. There is no love as deep and true like the love of mother for her baby. Accordingly, HaShem blesses the infant’s mother so that her own body flows with a perfect supply of nourishment for her beloved child. The abundant and every ready supply of milk provide the child with the proper nutrition so that the baby incrementally develops in size, strength, and intelligence. Ultimately, the child is strong enough to seek and obtain his required food.
A child who is nursed senses the contentment of being fed by his mother whose affection pours into her child with the sweet milk that fills his mouth. What’s more, the infant feels secure when his mother gently cradles him in her arms and lovingly provides him with his sustenance. The nursing experience fills a child with confidence and optimism for his entire life.
Nursing is not a natural phenomenon that happens by chance. Rather, it is a miracle emanating from the wondrous wisdom of HaShem. When we reflect on the marvel of birth and the nursing process, we realize that HaShem is our Creator. His love and care surrounds us from our inception and continues throughout the entire course of our lives. We recognize that HaShem is the source of our life and strength.
In this light, King David said, "For You drew me out of the womb; You made me secure when I nursed from my mother." He was entirely confident in the love and care that HaShem had for him. Therefore, he had no doubt that HaShem would save him in every situation and rescue him from every danger.
May we achieve clarity in recognizing HaShem’s magnificent love for us. Then our hearts will be filled with trust in HaShem and He will deliver us in every situation. [Based on the commentary of the Radak to Tehillim]
TODAY: Reflect on the loving-kindness of HaShem, Who continuously surrounds you with you love and care.
Rashi asked the question, why was it necessary to add the words from Ber
Sheva. And he answers... However there is another explanation according
to the Beis Ha Levy, who says usually there are two options as to why a person
leaves a city. One is to remove himself from where he is, and the other
is to be in the special place where he is going. And if the reason is
because you are getting away from a situation where you don’t want to be, the words
will come out like that. IE Ploney left Toronto, but if the reason is
that he needed to be in say Detroit, the words will say, and Ploney went
to Detroit. So here because the Pasuk says Yakov left BerSheva and he
went to Charon, it shows us that Yacov was doing two Mitvos when he left. One
was listening to his father Yacov, who said to find a wife in
Charan, and he was listening to his mother Rivkah who said run away from here
because Esav wants to kill you.
This has nothing to do with me leaving and coming back, but
as I thought it interesting. I’m passing it on to you.
You should have a wonderful, GUT SHA - BASS Rb Yossi
Once, a pious Jewish man was praying by the side of the road. A non-Jewish royal minister passed and greeted the man. However, the man, who was immersed in prayer, did not respond to the minister. The minister waited for him to complete his prayer and then proclaimed, "You fool! Doesn’t it say in your Torah, "Just protect your soul..." How dare you not return my greeting! What is to stop me from cutting off your head?"
"Please give me a minute to explain," said the Jewish man. "Imagine that you were speaking to the king. As you are standing before the king, your friend passes by and greets you. Tell me, would you respond?"
"Certainly not," answered the minister. "And if you would respond what would happen?" asked the Jewish man. "They would behead me with a sword," replied the minister.
"We can draw the following logical conclusion from your own words," asserted the Jewish man. "If you conduct yourself in this manner when conversing with an earthly king, who is here today and gone tomorrow; how much more so is it correct for me not to respond to a greeting, when praying before the King of Kings, the Holy One, Who is everlasting. The minister immediately accepted the import of the Jewish man’s words and sent him home in peace.
Throughout the ages, the belief in G-d, the Creator of Heaven and earth, has been the incontrovertible cornerstone of our faith. In the face of every conceivable threat, the people of Israel have loyally upheld their faith. Even more, our faith in HaShem endures despite the unspeakable persecutions that we have suffered throughout our exile.
What makes us so steadfast in our conviction? Our sages of Mussar reveal that our deep-seated faith issues from a "Prophetic spirit" that rests in the heart of every Jewish person. Meaning, HaShem, in His compassion, has bestowed upon us the most precious gift - He has indelibly etched pure and lasting faith into our souls.
May our phenomenal ’gift of faith,’ awaken the merit for us to experience an immediate and miraculous redemption.
TODAY: When you pray, remember that you are standing in front of the Eternal One, the King of Kings.
Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud In merit of this learning may Nava Shirel Bat Chava Shoshana be blessed with an immediate refuah shleima bitoch shaar cholei yisrael.
I The reasons people speak destructively constitutes a long list, but at the core, these reasons derivee from a place of insecurity, self-absorption, pettiness, and further feelings of inadequacy.
II Speaking badly about people is a form of protection. What we don’t like about ourselves, we often tend to point out in another. Be aware of this, and soon what we each personally need to work on will become clear.
"Rabbi Meir said: Whoever studies Torah with pure intentions - The secrets of the Torah are revealed to him; he becomes like a steadily strengthening fountain and like an unceasing river."
There are two types of scholars, (1) "comprehensive," and (2) "intensive." A comprehensive scholar masters the overall body of knowledge of his chosen field. Whereas the intensive scholar, focuses on selected areas of concentration; searching for new insights and discoveries. It is rare for an individual to achieve both aspects of scholarship.
Yet, the passage quoted above states: "he becomes like a steadily strengthening fountain and like an unceasing river." "A steadily strengthening stream" refers to an intensive Torah scholar, while "an unceasing river" refers to a comprehensive Torah scholar. Consequently, a person who studies Torah with pure intentions will merit to both aspects of scholarship!
The study of Torah with pure intentions will enhance the power of a person’s intellectual acuity. HaShem will increase his mind’s capacity to absorb and fathom knowledge and wisdom. A person will be able to attain a level of Torah wisdom that extends beyond one’s natural abilities.
Imagine the President issues a document introducing new public policy. He calls on the citizens to read the document and follow the regulations. The presidential advisors tell him that the affluent districts are not complying with the new policies. However, the poor districts are making a great effort to understand the new regulations. However, they are unable to fathom the complex ideas within the document. The president is happy to learn that the poor are dedicated citizens. Therefore, he travels to their towns and provides them with special teachers to help them understand the import of his words.
Likewise, HaShem gave us the Torah to teach us His good ways. When we study the Torah with pure intentions, i.e., to follow the path of decency, then HaShem will illuminate our eyes with righteousness and loving-kindness. May we study the Torah with pure intentions so that we become luminaries of good for the entire world.
TODAY: Study Torah with pure intentions and know that the light of Torah will shine upon you.
“I shall praise the Name of G-D with song, and I shall magnify it with thanksgiving (Psalm 69:31).”David teaches us how to be grateful.In each of our daily activities, we are to praise G-D.We praise Him with our speech, our actions, our attitudes and our song.In singing, one is able to express the ineffable, to communicate the innermost feelings of his heart.And in our hearts, there is a song of praise to G-D.That gratitude is magnified when we acknowledge the enormous gratitude we feel for all the gifts that we have been given.Our song grows longer and stronger with each expression of thanksgiving.
Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud In merit of this learning may Shimon Eliyahu ben Nechama Breindel be blessed with an immediate refuah shleima bitoch she’ar cholei yisrael.
I "Even in your thoughts do not curse a king, and in your bedchamber do not curse the rich, for a bird of the skies may carry the sound and some winged creature may betray the matter" (Ecclesiastes 10:20).
II "There is no cheaper high for self-importance addicts than trivializing and belittling others. It gives people the feeling of superiority without any need to actually be superior" (Rebbetzin Tzipporah Heller).
(Lessons taken from Gossip by Lori Palatnik)
Thank you for learning! Create an awesome day! - Ora
At times we are reluctant to part with our possessions for we fear being without them.But our possessions do not define us; we are what we do, not what we have.The psalmist, speaking as G-D, clarifies: “I take not from your household any bullock, nor from your pens any goats.For Mine is every beast of the forest, the cattle of a thousand mountains…. For Mine is the world and its fullness (Psalm 50:9-10. 12).”Man does not possess anything in this world, for the world in its entirety belongs to G-D.Therefore, we need to define ourselves differently, to embrace the spiritual and not the physical.What really matters is not the material world but our use of the physical, intellectual and spiritual gifts that we have been given on earth.
THE FAITH AND TRUST OF PSALMS____________37:34______
"Trust in HaShem and keep His way, and He will elevate you to inherit the earth; you will see the wicked are cut off."
King David reveals a sure formula for success, i.e., "Trust in HaShem and keep His way." Following these instructions will beget fruitful results. The challenge is to hold fast to these ideals, even in times of challenge.
The combination of trust in HaShem and Mitzvah observance are the foundations of spirituality. "Trust in HaShem" is manifest from rock- solid belief in HaShem, while "Mitzvah observance" reflects ones devotion to HaShem. Steadfast adherence to these tenets nurtures a living root that will ultimately blossom with phenomenal salvation.
In addition, even if a culpable person follows this formula, HaShem will rescue him. In the light of this, the verse says, "and He will elevate you." That is, if he has faith and observes Mitzvoth, HaShem will raise him from the depths - regardless of his past misdeeds or base character traits! HaShem will forgive him, sanctify him, and lead him to every success.
Even more, as long as a person fulfils the verse his ultimate deliverance is guaranteed, "you will see the wicked are cut off." Meaning, your trust in HaShem and observance of Mitzvoth will be the genesis of deliverance that "you will see" and enjoy within your lifetime. In addition, the application of this formula assures us that the enemies of Israel will fall.
Following his own counsel of "Trust HaShem and follow His way," King David overcame all of his opponents and reigned over Israel for many glorious years. May we place our trust in HaShem and follow His ways. Consequently, HaShem will elevate us and bless us with wonderful success and joy. [Based on the commentary of the Radak to Tehillim]
TODAY: Strengthen your faith in HaShem and your commitment to perform Mitzvoth - and know HaShem will deliver you.
Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud In merit of this learning may Tinok ben Penina Yosefa be blessed with an immediate refuah shleima bitoch shaar cholei yisrael.
I G-d created the mouth that can open and close, He gave us a tongue surrounded by barriers - lips and teeth - all to teach us something: There are times to open our mouths, and there are times to close them, and there are times to put barriers up against what we are about to say.
II Speech is power.
(Lessons taken from Gossip - Ten Pathways to Eliminate it from Your Life and Transform Your Soul by Lori Palatnik)
Later in life, Eisev married Machalas, the daughter of Yishmael. The name Machalas means "forgiveness." Our Sages derive a wondrous teaching from this verse. Specifically, on the day of marriage, HaShem forgives a person for all of their sins. Similarly, when a person "ascends to greatness, all of his sins are forgiven."
Classically, the Torah prescribes the process of repentance in order to rectify our past misdeeds. Therefore, the question arises: Why does marriage ’automatically’ render forgiveness?
When a person marries, he crosses the threshold to new opportunities and options. The awareness of these possibilities inspires him with the desire to improve and uplift himself. However, as much as he wants to change, the weight of his "past baggage" might be difficult for him to unload.
Therefore, HaShem shows him compassion and forgives all of his past misdeeds. This wonderful kindness of HaShem allows the person to dimiss his past mistakes; giving him the freedom to actualize his feelings and transform himself into a new person.
The same phenomenon occurs when a person ascends to greatness. Since he has access to new opportunities, HaShem forgives his sins in order to give him the confidence needed to forge a new path.
Perhaps we can apply the same principle to Shabbos. That is, Shabbos is a "marriage between HaShem and the People of Israel," as we sing: "Come my beloved and meet your bride; Let us welcome the Shabbos Presence." Therefore, the new opportunities of holiness, light, and joy that come with Shabbos inspire us to elevate ourselves. Accordingly, the blessings of the Shabbos day bring us forgiveness, kindness, and mercy of HaShem. [Based on Lev Shalom of Rav Shalom Shvadron]
TODAY: Rejoice in the holiness of Shabbos and know that HaShem will free you to grow to new spiritual attainments
Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud Mazal Tov Chava bat Rochel! May you and your chatan be blessed with health, happiness, and only revealed good. May you merit to build an eternal home, with a strong foundation of Torah and Mitzvot.
Friday - 3 Kislev The Baal Shem Tov would say that other people serve as a mirror for us. Whenever we see a negative trait in someone else it is because we have it in ourselves. If someone sees the good in someone else, it is because they themselves are worthy.
Shabbat - 4 Kislev Being careful with how we speak can be very difficult. As we begin refraining more and more from speaking negatively of others, we may notice that we still may desire to speak it, in spite of the dramatic improvement in our character.If we find ourselves slipping, its important to remember not to get down on ourselves and not to give up. We should be happy with our efforts. Take encouragement every time we think of speaking negatively and don’t. Be delighted every time we want to say something destructive but refrain. Take pleasure every time we catch ourselves. It is difficult. Dont be discouraged by small failures, but instead, build on our small successes!
(Lessons taken from Finding the Right Words by Rosally Saltsman and Gossip by Lori Palatnik)
Create a beautiful, spiritual, and holy Shabbat! Thank you for learning! Shabbat Shalom! - Ora
Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud In merit of this learning may Yifat bat Rina and Tehila Zisel Bluma bat Hadassa each be blessed with an immediate refuah shleima bitoch shaar cholei yisrael.
If we consider the reasons behind speaking negatively we realize that its source lies in very unhealthy rationalizations including:
I If I put others down, somehow I will feel up. The worse I paint the lives of others, the more my life looks better.
II When I gossip I am popular, and I get everyone’s attention. All eyes are on me and now I feel like a somebody (but at someone else’s expense). (We may feel popular at the moment, but are certainly not the person who others will come to trust and respect).
Our Forefathers had saintly and holy character traits. In this light, the Torah gives us a glimpse into Yaacov’s golden personality.
Lavan swindled, tricked, and lied to Yaacov, his son-in-law, for 22 years. When Yaacov finally "had enough," he took his family and left. Lavan pursued Yaacov, insulted him, and expressed a desire to kill Yaacov.
After Lavan’s verbal attack, abuse, and accusations, Yaacov "argues with Lavan." However, the text actually says "Yaacov argues in Lavan." Meaning, Yaacov’s level of annoyance was on a very low-keyed, subtle level. Instead of reacting emotionally, Yaacov presented logical and lucid points in his own defense.
Yaacov was in complete control and only slightly intensified the tone of his voice. Accordingly, only Lavan was able to perceive the minute shift in Yaacov’s demeanor, i.e., "in Lavan". If anyone else had witnessed the interaction, they would not have been able to detect any irritation in Yaacov, whatsoever!
We learn from Yaacov’s reaction that the human spirit is capable of great patience, even in the face of injustice.
May we follow the path of Yaacov Avinu and be always gentle and patient, even when we are treated unfairly. If we do so, we will be blessed with happiness, success, and serenity. [Based on the commentary of the Orech Chaim]
TODAY: Strive to keep calm under all circumstances and in all your interpersonal relationships.
Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud In merit of this learning may Penina Yosefa bat Vichna be blessed with an immediate refuah shleima bitoch shaar cholei yisrael!
More common reasons for why sometimes people can speak negatively about others:
I Life is boring - gossip makes it more interesting. (Pretty sad if destroying other lives is how we overcome our own emptiness and make our lives more interesting)
II What else is there to talk about? (How about how we can help others, the meaning of life, or the thousands of other positive topics?)
The psalmist likens the tzaddik to a date palm.“A righteous man will flourish like the date palm, he will grow tall like a cedar in Lebanon (Psalm 92:13).”Date palms do not immediately produce fruit.It takes four to seven years for the date palm to bear fruit, and between seven and ten years to produce a yield adequate for commercial harvest.Likewise, man does not become righteous immediately.To become a tzaddik, man must invest much time and energy before his efforts bear fruit.An even longer time and greater effort is required before the righteous person is productive enough to affect others.In point of fact, a man must choose to be righteous all the days of his life, continually working on his own self-improvement.The psalmist assures us that the efforts of the righteous shall not be in vain for they shall flourish.Ben Hey Hey teaches: “According to the effort, so is the reward (Avot 5:26).”Not only is goodness its own reward, but the pursuit of goodness yields much benefit as well.
In merit of this learning may Chaya Adira Chana Bat Shoshana* be blessed with an immediate refuah shleima bitoch shaar cholei yisrael!
I We need to be careful not to report that someone else has spoken negatively about another person. This is considered degradation and portrays the person in a negative light.
II - examples "My mother told all her friends how annoyed she was with one of her neighbors" "My boss told the whole office about my mess-up at work"
(Lessons taken from Purity of Speech by C.T. Friedman and Hilchot Lashon Hora)
Create a beautiful, holy, and happy Rosh Chodesh Kislev!!! - Ora --- * Chaya Adira Chana Bat Shoshana is about 22 years old and has been married for 2 years and lives in Kiriyat Sefer without any relatives in Israel. She was in her ninth month of pregnancy and was rushed to the hospital. She was having seizures and fell into a very deep coma. Her brain started hemorrhaging. The doctor said that there is no way in nature that she can get out of the coma. She is no longer breathing on her own. They are hoping to drain some of the fluid out of her brain so that she can gather strength and then maybe undergo a very dangerous brain surgery to try to save her life. Her baby girl was delivered in an emergency c-section because she stopped breathing and her mother was comatose. The husband, 23 years old, just lost his mother 5 months ago and now he is with a baby girl and a wife who’s chances of survival are very low and even if she survives, who knows what kind of state she will be left in. Please, please, daven for Chaya Adira Chana B-s Shoshana and her baby girl and family.
PIRKEI AVOS/ETHICS OF THE FATHERS _______________4:12
"Rabbi Eliezer ben Shamu’ah said: Let the honor of your student be as dear to you as your own; and the honor of your friend as dear to you as the reverence of your Rabbi; and the reverence of your Rabbi like the reverence of Heaven."
Respect is the foundation and essence of interpersonal relationships. The various relationships that we have require befitting levels of respect. Hence, the respect that we hold for each person should be commensurate to his or her relative status and stature. Yet, how do we determine the appropriate quality and quantity of respect for each person? In addition, why does the above Mishneh instruct us to raise the level of respect up one notch in the specified relationships?
Because of the vital role that relations play in our lives; and the critical role that respect plays in relationships - the yetzer hora (the negative impulse) seeks to undermine our relationships - by blinding us to the proper level of respect that we should give to others. For instance, teachers tend to view the best of their students as mediocre. Therefore, in order to correct this distortion the Mishneh advises: "Let the honor of your student be as dear to you as your own."
Likewise, we tend to decrease the fitting level of honor that we should accord our friends. Thus, the Mishneh teaches: "and the honor of your friend as dear to you as the reverence of your Rabbi." We also devalue the tremendous level of respect that we owe to our Rabbi. In fact, here, the level of respect upgrades to reverence. Therefore, the Mishneh directs us: "And the reverence of your Rabbi like the reverence of HaShem."
In conclusion, by aiming for a higher level of respect in all of our relationships, we approach the proper level of respect due to our students, friends, and rabbis. As a result, we will enhance our interpersonal relationships with peace, joy, and dignity. [Based on the commentary of Rav Chaim Voloshin to Pirkei Avos]
Today: Upgrade the level of respect in your relationships and bring harmony into your life.
Each morning when we arise, we say a special prayer - "Elokei neshamah" - thanking HaShem for granting us our holy soul. The prayer begins with the words: "My G-d, the soul which You have given me is pure; You created it, You formed it, You breathed it within me..." (Brachos 60b)
The word "soul" in this prayer refers to and includes the three ascending levels of the soul. Namely, (1) nefesh - the seat of our earthly drives, (2) ru’ach - the spiritual forces within, and (3) neshamah - the holy essence of the pure soul. Accordingly, "You created it" refers to the nefesh; "You formed it" refers to the ru’ach; and "You breathed within me" - refers to the neshamah.
The three levels of the soul span the spectrum from the base instincts of nature to the highest levels of purity and holiness. In light of this, we have the capacity to elevate ourselves from the lesser instincts to the highest virtues of character.
As we navigate our path in life, there is a clear way to determine which aspect of the soul is prominent. The nefesh seeks pleasure whereas the neshamah desires only to give pleasure and benefit to others.
Each morning as we arise we begin a new chapter in our life’s journey. The Elokai haneshamah prayer guides us to attain the proper spiritual orientation. We reflect on the ascending levels of our soul - and uplift ourselves - to our holy essence.
We define ourselves by deciding to draw from our neshama - the highest and most authentic identity of the self. As we go through the day, we continue to elevate ourselves by actively choosing to help others in each situation. Each time that we assume the giving mode we strengthen our soul and elevate ourselves a little bit higher.
May each daily recitation of the Elokai haneshamah prayer, help us to discover new vistas of our holy soul, [Based on the M’harsha to Brachos 60b and Mictav M’Eliyahu]
TODAY: "Stretch" to reach for your highest inner goodness - a holy entity of pure kindness.
Important Numbers
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