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#697 How to Fix a Date
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Q. If you use the civil date, are they any preferences as to how you write the date?
Thanks again.
A. It is preferable to avoid numerals for the months (see prior answer) and use when possible the abbreviated names of the months, since these names may also contain pagan connotations (Piskei Teshuvos 156 n. 17).
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a mentioned that Horav Yakov Kamentzki Zt"l would only use the last three ciphers of the year numeral. By the same token it would be better to use the more customary two digits for the year.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 1/2/2015 12:50 PM |
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#696 Date with Faith?
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Q. Is it better when not legally necessary to avoid using the Gregorian calendar and use the Hebrew date, or it does not matter today anymore since it is globally used as a civil non-Christian calendar?
A. Some Poskim maintain one may incur even a Biblical prohibition in the use of the Gregorian date (Maharam Shik Y.D. 171., Chasam Sofer – Droshos: Teves: 5593). Consequently, they add to the civil date the word L'misparam, or to "their counting", connoting that we agree to a different reckoning (ibid., Mishmeres Sholom – Smochos 40: 84.) We indeed find numerous quotations of the civil date in diverse s'forim with the above addition (Tshuvos Remoh 51, Shvus Yakov 3:11, Chavos Yoir 184, to mention a few.)
Ramban (Shemos 12: 2) mentions another prohibition and that is using a different numerical count for the months than the one established by the Torah, where Nisan is the first of the months.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is to be lenient when necessary as in legal forms and documents, since today the civil date does not carry religious connotations. (See next answer)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 1/2/2015 12:49 PM |
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#695 Wishing Everyone a Gut'n Yohr
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Q. If someone greets me with a "Happy new year" can I respond likewise?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that it is permitted since in our days there is no religious connotation to the greeting. In addition, you may initiate the salute if it generates a Kidush Hashem by displaying good manners.
Ohalei Yakov (p. 20) quotes in the name the Apter Rov Zt"l, the meaning of the Posuk (Tehilim 87:6) "Hashem counts in the script of the nations" as conveying that during their New Year we are also granted retroactively a better Rosh Hashono judgment. Since the differences between the individual conduct during the two celebrations, becomes now widely apparent and evident, therefore a Good Year salute to anyone is not out of place. (Nitey Gavriel – Chanuka p.418)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 1/2/2015 12:46 PM |
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#694 Oy Vei Mir in the New Year
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Q. I work I.T. in a company were I'm the only Frum Jew (ex yeshiva bochur). My managers and co-workers are really nice to me and respect my particular religious needs. I have a number of seasonal questions. I greatly appreciate the clear straightforward answers you provide and the access to Horav Miller's psakim, one of the great Poskim of our generation.
Can I attend at least for a short time a New Years party organized by the company? Only the drinks are kosher. I would hate to be the only employee not attending.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that you may attend for a short while, however only soft drinks are permitted and no liquor or alcoholic beverages should be consumed in their company. (Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 114: 1. See also Aruch Hashulchan ibid. and Shevet Halevy Y.D. 43, in regards to expensive drinks.)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 1/2/2015 12:44 PM |
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#693 Taking the Children in?
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Q. Do children from a prior marriage attend the chupa of their parents?
A. It is customary that children from prior marriages do not attend the Chupa. (Nitey Gavriel 51: 9) Some quote in the name of Horav Eliashuv zt"l that it is out of respect to the divorced or deceased parent.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a pointed out that although the do not attend the marriage ceremony itself, they may attend the reception before and the seudah after.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 1/2/2015 12:43 PM |
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#692 Expound the Second Time Around
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Q. What are the differences between the chupa ceremony of a first and a second marriage for both chosson and kallah?
A. There are differences between the minhogim and traditions of a first and those of a subsequent marriage ceremony. According to Poskim (Nitey Gavriel – Nisuin 49: 3: n. 3) they are based on the success of the second luchos over the first broken ones. Due in part to the fact that the latter ones were given without the overwhelming splendor and the great publicity that characterized the giving of the first. Some of the most important differences are as follows:
1) It is customary not to write Tnoim on a second marriage and only do a kinyan between the parties. (Imrei Yosher 2: 203, Maharash Engel 5: 53 et.al.)
2) No invitations are usually printed and the event is carried out with modesty and diffidence (Nitey Gavriel – Nissuin 1: 43: 3)
3) There is no obligation for the chosson to receive an Aliya on the Shabbos before or after the wedding and usually there is no Aufruf ceremony with the traditional throwing of peklach of candies, although some do it.(Maharil, Biur Halocho 137: Shaarei Efraim 2:6)
4) The wording and the amounts written in the Kesuvah are different. (Shulchan Aruch E.H. 66: 6)
5) Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is to preferably avoid the seven hakofos the kallah normally does around the chosson. However, their parents (if present) can accompany the groom and bride to the chupah.
6) Even those who are careful not to get married at the end of the month, do so on a second marriage (Hanisuin Kehilchosom 17: 9)
7) Being more stringent as not to have a chupas niddoh since the main chupa on a second marriage is the yichud or seclusion which can not be carried out when the kallah is a niddoh (Even Haezer 64:5, Bnei Ahuva – Ishus 10: 2, Hanisuin Kehilchoson 17: 12)
8) There are different traditions in regards to the Badeken or the chosson covering the bride with a veil ceremony. Some avoid it altogether, it is done by others instead such as the accompanying women, or it is done by the chosson under the chupah. (ibid.19)
9) The ceremony is done usually indoors and not under the sky (Pischei Teshuvo 62: 1), and no instrumental music is usually played (Aruch Hashulcahn E.H. 55: 24 and 64: 17)
10) There are different traditions as to the wedding dress of the bride. Horav Shlomo Miller indicated that she could dress in white, but not with the prominence, length and extent accustomed in a first wedding. The Chosson wears a Kit'l if that is his family tradition (Nitey Gavriel ibid. 9)
11) In regards to the mitzvah of rejoicing with a new wife during the first year, Yoshiv Yitzchok (E. H. 34) maintains that it applies (following the Minchas Chinuch opinion.)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 1/2/2015 12:42 PM |
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#691 Shift the Chanuka Gelt to Chanuka Gift?
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Q. Thank you so much for your fast response …On Q. 688, (Chanuka Gelt means a Velt). Why is it not prohibited to give Chanukkah gelt or presents, since after all it is a Chok Hoamim tradition during their holiday?
A. Avnei Yashfe (O.H. 129: 2) addresses this question and he asserts that the prohibition of "not following their edicts" applies, as the Maharik (88) and Remah (Y.D. 178:1) maintain, only to statutes that don't have a valid reason or benefit. As amply explained in answer 688 there are many reasons for Chanuka Gelt. The main one being that Chanuka is a time for joy and happiness, so we also share it with the young ones.
Although that is true of Chanuka gelt, there is no early-established tradition to give gifts. One may argue that the proper present will bestow greater joy and happiness to a child than a few coins. After all a gift is Shove Kesef, and is therefore tantamount to money and should be permitted.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that it is better to give money to comply with the minhag, but presents are also permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 12/26/2014 1:32 PM |
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#690 Want to Face the Music?
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Q. Is there an actual prohibition about deriving any kind of enjoyment from Christmas lights?… What about benefiting from other Christmas things - like, is one allowed to enjoy the holiday music they play over loudspeakers in grocery stores?
A. See last answer, most of the points apply to music as well. However, some of the tunes played during the season on the radio or in commercial malls and stores may actually be the same religious melodies or songs performed in houses of worship and thus prohibited. (Igros Moshe Y. D. 2: 56 and 111, Avnei Yashfei 153: 5, Habais Hayehudi p.268)
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that if you don't have any intent to enjoy or pay attention to them, you may continue with your activities.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 12/26/2014 1:30 PM |
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#689 Lights that Radiate Darkness
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Q. Is there an actual prohibition about deriving any kind of enjoyment from Christmas lights? Can one use them for illumination? Can one comment on their beauty?
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 139: 1) rules that it is prohibited to derive any benefit from anything that is part of an idol, its accompanying adornments or embellishments and the sacrifices or offers dedicated to it. However Christmas lights used for decorating stores or other commercial venues are not in our days an expression of a religion or the symbol of a faith. They are more likely to be used as a business advertiser or a marketing promoter and therefore permitted (Shach Y.D. 142: 32)
Additional considerations to be taken into Halachik account are to what extent are the different factions and sects of Christianity considered Avoda Zarah, and if your common Gentile should be deemed in our times a believer in his nominal faith or more likely an agnostic to it. (Chulin 13b, Ben Ish Chai, Parshas Maasei.) A further factor to take into account is if just benefiting by observing is prohibited or not.
Accordingly enjoying the seasonal lights, commercial displays or the Macy's parade is in principle permitted.
Nonetheless, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that one must always bear in mind what those lights and displays historically represent to our people. We should recall how much persecution and suffering throughout the centuries are imbedded in them, before we decide to enjoy their sight or comment on their beauty.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 12/26/2014 1:29 PM |
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#688 Chanukah Gelt Means a Velt
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Q. Someone who always gives Chanukkah gelt to his children and grand children, but this year is away on vacation, does he have to be matir neder? Can he give when he returns after Chanukkah?
A. When exactly did the tradition of distributing Chanuka gelt, D'mei Chanuka or small monetary gifts to children began, is hard to tell. However Derech Sicha (190) mentions that the source for this tradition is the Mogen Avrohom (beginning of 670) who mentions that Chanuka was a special time for collection of Tzdaka for the poor, including their children. He adds that his Father the Steipler Gaon zt"l use to distribute them on the night of the fifth light of Chanuka, since it never coincides with Shabbos. Kaf Hachaim (670: 4) also mentions this tradition.
Otzreinu Hayoshon p. 82, states that it was an ancient Yerushalaim custom for the talmidim of the Talmud Torah to collect on the eight day, for a Zoz Chanuka banquet.
Chidushei Harim (Pneniney Hachasidut p. 49) explains that the source is the posuk (Mishlei 3: 16) "Length of days is in its right hand; in its left hand are riches and honor". The right hand is a reference to the Mezuza, which is placed on the right side as you access an entrance. Since the Torah (in the daily Shema) rewards with a lengthy life the one who upholds this mitzvah, it follows that the mitzvah of the menora, which is placed on the left side, will be compensated with wealth and honor. Hence, the symbolic Chanuka gelt. He further adds, that the mitzvah of the mezuza is primarily an obligation of the inhabitants of the house (chovas hadar), while the menora's purpose is pirsumei nissa or the exposure of the miracle to the street. Normally Parnassah and monetary funds are obtained in the commercial outside world, hence the custom of Chanuka gelt.
Shaarei Halacha Uminhag 283, p. 280) explains that the Yevanim and Hellenists prohibited Torah learning specially by the youngsters. When they were defeated, the teaching of the young restarted. Rambam (H. Teshuva 10: 5) mentions that the beginning of teaching of the young should be encouraged by small monetary gifts.
Yair Neri (p.146) quotes the Avnei Nezer's reason. This is based on the premise that Chanuka's traditions should be similar to the ones of Pesach. On the Seder night we give out of candies, nuts and sweets to children to enhance their interest and keep them awake, so too in Chanuka we enhance and create interest and the necessary Pirsumei Nissa.
Yogel Yaakov (p. 184) provides one more rationale He explains that in regards to a fast day, the Talmud (Brachot 6b) avers that; the reward for a fast day is the tzdaka given to the poor. Since there was a saving of monies by the abstention of eating. Those saved food funds should be donated to the needy. By the same token, since on Chanuka the miracle provided a saving of oil, those funds are now symbolically given to children.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that, although many reasons are given for Chanuka gelt, it is only a custom and not a mitzvah, therefore there is no need for Hatoras Nedarim. The monies could be given on Chanuka via an agent or in need after the festivity
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit".
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Posted 12/24/2014 4:48 PM |
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#687 How many songs does one have to sing?
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Q. Shulchan Aruch mentions that if you sing during the meals of Chanukkah shirot and praise tunes, the meal becomes a seudat mitzvah. How many songs do you have to sing? If you don't sing but say a dvar Torah, or learn from a sefer when eating alone, does that count?
A. Indeed Shulachan Aruch (O.H. 670: 2) mentions that the meals one eats during Chanuka are considered only a Seudas Hareshus or discretionary and optional act. Remo (ibid.) maintains that if one sings or recites praises to Hashem they became a mitzvah banquet. Mishna Berura (ibid.9) quotes from Maharshal that a seuda eaten with the intention of honoring Hashem for the miracles of Chanuka, or for publicizing those historical miracles is deemed to be a Seudas Mitzva. Therefore as long as one mentions either by a single praise, song or a Chanuka dedicated D'var Torah the intention of the repast, it becomes a Seudas Mitzva.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a added that even a meal that you always eat at that time, will accordingly turn into a Mitzva feast.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 12/24/2014 4:43 PM |
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#686 Is a Prolific Shamash Permited?
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Q. If many menorahs are placed on one table, as when someone has a large family, does each menorah require its own shamash?
A. Mishna Berura (673: 18) quotes Mogen Avrohom ruling that since each one places his lights in a distinct place each one requires its own shamash.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that if they are close to each other, in case of need, one shamash could suffice for multiple menorahs
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 12/24/2014 2:32 PM |
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#685 Can You Smell the Miracle?
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Q. Could you add a few drops of aromatic oils to the Chanuka lights? (Would this be a hidur mitzvah or a greater persumei ness?)
A. Some contemporary Poskim have expressed their opinions in regards to using aromatic oils for Chanuka lights. Yalkut Yosef (O.H. 13 – Moadim p. 680) depends this question on the reason why we are not supposed to derive benefit from Chanuka lights. One reason mentioned in Talmud (Shabbos 22b) is to avoid making the mitzvos undignified by drawing personal pleasure or utility from them (Bizui Mitzva.) He argues that this reason would not apply in our case. However, if the grounds are to make it comparable to the lights of the Bais Hamikdosh (Rashi ibid.) it would apply and one would not be allowed the smell of the aromatic oils. He does not express a definitive ruling.
On the other extreme Bris Halevy (Rav Machfud - p. 357) permits the use of aromatic oils for Chanuka lights, even if his intention is to derive pleasure from the aroma.
Birchas Reuven Shlomo (Rav Shlesinger – 63) rules that it depends if his intention at the time of lighting with aromatic oil was to derive pleasure from the aroma, it is prohibited. However, if he used that oil simply because he did not have any other available, it is permitted.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is similar to what he expressed in the previous question in regards to flame coloring additives. That is, the olive oil should resemble as much as possible, the one used in the Bais Hamikdosh. If it was nonetheless used, he also prohibits the intentional benefit from the fragrant aroma. However, he permits it, if the shamah light is also equally aromatic.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a.
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Posted 12/24/2014 2:31 PM |
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#684 Chanuka Showtime?
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Q. Dear Rabbi, I teach sciences in a frum school. I was teaching about the way you can create a variety of colors in flames by adding different chemicals to the fuel. One of my students was wondering if you are permitted to add them to the oil or the candles of Chanuka. Since the effect is quite attractive and striking, would this be a hidur mitzvah or a greater persumei ness?
A. Remah (O.H. 673: 1) rules that one should light preferably with olive oil. Mishna Berura (ibid. 4) quotes Mahari Brin (or Bruna) and the Maharal, and explains that the reason is since the miracle of Chanukah occurred with the traditional olive oil used in the menorah of the Bais Hamikdosh, the mitzvah of lighting the candles should resemble the original as much as possible. Eliahu Rabbah (ibid. 2) maintains that this applies even when the olive oil is costly, although other Poskim disagree. Therefore Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that although the lighting would be acceptable if the flame coloring additives mentioned were to be added, it is preferable to use the most pure olive oil available.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 12/24/2014 2:29 PM |
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#683 Deserted Candles
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Q. Let us say, a guy is alone in a desert, without the necessary implements to make and light candles on Chanukah, and obviously will not see the lit Chanukah candles of another, does he make a Birkas Shehecheyanu on the Yom Tov of Chanukah itself?
A. Meiri (Shabbos 22b) writes that if someone lacks with what to light and will not see a Chanuka candle either, he should recite Sheasa Nisim every night and Shecheyanu the first night. Mishna Berura and in Biur Halacha (692: 1) quotes different opinions in regards to one who does not have a Megilla, if he should say Shecheyanu on the day itself. The issue seems to remain unresolved.
Sdei Chemed (M. Chanuka 9: 3) quotes that Horav Shlomo Cohen zt'l from Vilna wondered, why we don't find that on Chanuka and Purim that "Zman Omro Bashuk" or to recite Shecheyanu for the sake of the day itself. He explains that since these two festivities lack kedusha and normal work is permitted on them, we don't recite Shecheyanu. Meoros Nossan (60) mentions that Zera Emes (960 maintains that it is a brocho on the day, while Pri Chodosh (676: 1) and Pri Megodim (676; M.Z.: 2) disagree.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that when in doubt we do not recite Shecheyanu. Preferably, he can recite the brocho on acquiring a new significant item or fruit (when applicable) and have in mind Chanuka.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 12/19/2014 1:48 PM |
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#682 Enlighten the Uncovered
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Q. Can you use oil for Chanuka lighting that was left uncovered overnight?
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is permitted for a number of reasons. Firstly Poskim disagree whether in our days we should discard certain liquids that were left uncovered or Mashkim Megulim. The main reason for their prohibition is the possibility of their contamination by poisonous snakes (Avoda Zara 30a, Chulin 9b) and since that rarely occurs in our populated cities, we are lenient (Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 116:1, Mishna Berura 160: 23.) However, some Poskim do remain stringent (Pri Chodosh and Pri Toar, quoted by Birkei Yosef and Aruch ha-Shulchan Y.D. 116:1.) It is important to know that when Mashkim Megulim are prohibited they are even when left uncovered and unsupervised for a short time, not only overnight.
Poskim also differ if prohibited or non-kosher oil can be used for Chanuka lights and many are lenient (Sdei Chemed – M. Chanuka 14, Kaf Hachaim 673: 11, Beis Shlomo O.H. 10: 108).
However the main reason that oil left uncovered is undoubtedly permitted is that there is no Mashkim Megulim issue on oil, since snakes don't drink from it (Chulin 49b, Bais Yosef Y.D. 116, Yemei Chanuka p. 71)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 12/19/2014 1:46 PM |
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#681 Fire the Shot Glass?
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Q. Can you use for placing the menorah oil, small shot glasses that will be later used for liquor, which were not immersed in a Mikva yet?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that this is permitted since you are allowed to use utensils that have not been immersed in a mikva for general, non-food consumption purposes. (It is recommended not to leave non-immersed utensils for an extended time as one may forget and use them).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 12/19/2014 1:44 PM |
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#680 How to Treat the Swap Meet
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Q. Is there any prohibition in swapping seasonal gifts that co-workers (mostly Gentiles) give to each other at a years end party?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that if the gifts being exchanged are not prohibited in benefit (such as religious articles from other faiths,) they can be swapped.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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Posted 12/19/2014 1:44 PM |
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#679 A Fine End Line
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Q. If you forget after December the 4th (to recite Tal Umotor) and the sidur instructs that you should say it at shma kolenu, where do you say it and what are the words you have to mention?
A. He should say Vesen Tal Umatar at the end of Shomea Tefila before Ki Ata Shomea Tefilas etc. (Mishna Berura 117: 16).
Shulchan Aruch (end of s. 117), Mishna Berura (ibid.) and many Poskim mention only Vesen Tal Umatar only, but it could be only an short form and the word Lebracha is included (Piskey Teshuvos ibid. n. 53.) Others outright add the word Lebracha (Kaf Hachaim 117: 37, Kitzur Shulcha Aruch 7.) However, Aruch Hashulchan (117: 6) and Shulchan Shlomo (117: 4) add also Al Pnei Haadama. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is to include this complete last sentence.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a.
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Posted 12/19/2014 1:43 PM |
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#678 Brocho on Rain, Come Back Another Day
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Q. What happens when an Israeli visits chutz la'aretz does he stop saying tal umotor while here?
A. Poskim differ in their opinions. Most maintain that once he had already begun reciting Tal Umatar while still in Eretz Yisroel (he left after the seventh of Marchesvan) he should continue in Chutz Laaretz. (Birkei Yosef 117: 6, Yom Tov Sheni Kechilchoso 10: n. 12, Tzitz Eliezer 6: 38, Betzel Hachochmo 1: 62, Ishei Yisroel 23: 38, et. al.)
However, if he plans to settle or remain in Chutz Laaretz for an extended period of more than a year, Ishey Yisroel (ibid.) avers that he should stop saying Tal Umatar until the day 60 after the Tekufa. Nevertheless, Piskey Teshuvos (2: p. 876) asserts that if his family remains in Israel, even if he lives for an extended period he should continue reciting Tal Umatar in Shomea Tefila, until the day everyone else begins reciting in Birchas Hashonim.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a.
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Posted 12/19/2014 1:41 PM |
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Important Numbers
