Why didn't Pharaoh listen to Moshe?
Because he was in de-Nile.
What did the Egyptians say to the Jews by the Yam Suph
Long time.„ Hey no sea!
What do you call a stupid frog?
A dam tzfardaya.
What type of cheese is always kosher l'pesach?
Matza-rella cheese.
VAAD HARABONIM, URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT: Don't forget every morning between Purim & Pesach to make the brocho HANOISEIN L'WIFE KOACH with big kavono.
Brought to you by uncle Benjy, author of Laughter is the best medicine: Kosher and Jewish jokes for the whole family. volumes one and two, and Jewish Joke Book for Kids, volumes
one and two, available on Amazon; search "Uncle Benjy' on Amazon.
I had twelve bottles of whiskey, and I was instructed by my wife to empty each and every bottle down the sink before Pesach. So I proceeded with the task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, except for one glass which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise except for one
glass which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the contents down the sink, except for one glass which I drank. I then pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank. I pulled the bottle
from the cork of the next one and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass, I pulled the sink out of the glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, glasses and sinks with the other which were twenty-nine, and put the houses in the bottle which I drank.
I'm not under the affluence of incahol,but thinkle peep I am. I'm not half so thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelich I don't know who is me, and the drinker I stand here the longer I get.
A husband was doing bedikas chometz, but he only found nine out of the ten pieces that his wife hid. She called the rabbi and asked him what to do. The rabbi asked, "was it a kezayis?"
"Yes," she answered.
The rabbi said, "if so, you have to continue looking." After an hour she called again
and the rov said you must continue looking. Then she called up again a few hours later and said, "It's so late and my husband is really tired from searching for so long. Can't I give him a hint?"
Salt water available in powder form. Just add water.
My mother told me to get rid of all my chometz for Pesachm so I deleted all my
cookies from my browser.
Brought to you by Uncle Benjy, author
of Laughter is the best medicine:
Kosher and Jewish jokes for the whole
family, volumes one and two, and
Jewish Joke Book for Kids, volumes
one and two, available on Amazon;
search “Uncle Benjy” on Amazon.
A father sent his son Moishe to bring mishloach monos to his rebbe. The rebbe smiles
and says to him, "Oh, what a nice mishloach monos, tell your father he didn't need to
give such nice mishloach monos."
Moishe answers him, "l already told him."
What was Queen Esther's royal gown made Of?
POLY-ESTER.
What is Haman's grandson's favorite album?
When ziedy was hung!
Be careful when driving on Purim. There are a lot of drunk men... and their wives
are driving.
A son asks his father at a Purim seuda, "Daddy, how do you know when you are too drunk to drive?'
His father puts his arm around his son and says, "Well, son, you see those two trees over there. When
it looks like four, I know that I am too drunk to drive. And the son says, "But daddy, there is only one
tree there!"
What did Haman say to Mordechai?
Why did you leave me hanging?
Who had the tallest family tree in history?
HAMAN!
What brocho did the Yidden say when they saw Haman hanging on the gallows?
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Association.
I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
Brought to you by Uncle Benjy, author of Laughter is the best medicine: Kosher and Jewish jokes for the whole family, volumes one and two, and Jewish Joke Book for Kids, volumes one and two, available on Amazon; search “Uncle Benjy” on Amazon.
Important Numbers
