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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 2828 Mixed Blessings
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Q I take food for seudat shlishit to a friend's home. The food is all my contribution. When it comes to benching, what is the correct Horachaman to say "Harajaman Hu Yebarech et Ba'al haBayit hazeh ... " After all it is my food, and I should be blessed too?
A. On question 2548 regarding someone staying in a Jewish hotel or traveling El Al, if one should say the blessing for the host after eating and reciting Birchat Hamazon, we wrote: "Mishna Berura (193: 27) rules that one who recites birchas hamazon at a Gentiles house should say; Horachamon – The Merciful should send us many brochos in our ways and our stays forever. He may also say; Horachamon – should bless the baal habais – referring to the provider of the meal.
Chashukei Chemed (Brochos 46a) rules that the same applies to one traveling by plane. He quotes Horav Eliashiv Zt”l, that even one paying for his meal, should bless the provider, since without their help to provide a kosher meal, they would go hungry.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is proper to say the Horachamon. However, when only the food providers or caterers are Jewish, (as is common in Pesach Hotels), one should mention in the blessing instead of “baal habbais” or the owner of the facility, the term “baal hamazom” or the food provider."
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that, in your question, you should indeed bless the ba'al habbais, and the ba'al habbais should bless you, using the nusach above mentined, ba'al hamzon instead of ba'al habbais.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/7/2020 2:04 PM |
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# 2827 When It Rains it is still Yours
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Q. I daven in a backyard minyan and I also blow the shofar after davening. Last week it began drizzling when I was about to blow. I was wondering, if that would occur during Rosh Hashana, (we are planning to continue our outside minyan then also), would the drops of rain water that rained inside the shofar disqualify the tekias shofar?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that the few drops of rain would not disqualify the tekias shofar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a.
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Posted 9/4/2020 1:40 PM |
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# 2826 Blowing Away the Grief
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Q. My brother and I are respectively the baal tokea and baal makrei (the announcer of the tekios to be blown), in our minyan for over 20 years. We recently lost our dear mother a.h., and we are going to be still during the sheloshim on Rosh Hashana. Can we in grief continue our positions this year?
A. Poskim rule that in principle, a baal tokea has the same limitations as a baal tefila in regard to avelus, and just as much as an ovel refrains in principle from davening by the amud on Yom Tov, so should the baal tokea. (Devar Shmuel quoted in Hagoos Chasam Sofer, Mateh Efraim 585: 7, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch ibid.
However, just as regarding the baal tefila, if he is the better of all available candidates, Poskim rule he may continue, so can the baal tokea.
Regarding the baal makrei, Poskim debate whether he is similar to the baal tefila or no. (Mishne Halochos 10: 70, mentions that the Kloizemburger Rebbe would not permit an ovel to be the baal makrei).
Horav Shlomo Miller's opinion is that one can be lenient, especially regarding a baal makrei that is an ovel.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/4/2020 1:25 PM |
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# 2825 Shelf Life
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Q. I ate a blueberry muffin yesterday and today my wife brought back a package of fresh blueberries from the grocery store. They were imported from Argentina.
Do I make a bracha of 'shehechiyanu' on the fresh berries I will be eating today (I have not eaten fresh blueberries for at least a couple of years), or does the fact that I ate blueberries in a muffin yesterday make me not eligible to say 'shehechiyanu' today?
Take care and have a good Shabbos.
A. On question 1609 regarding reciting shehecheyanu on new fruits on Tu Bishvat, we wrote: 'Some maintain that it is proper to consume a new fruit that you can recite shehecheyanu over it on Tu Bishvat. (Beis Aharon, quoted by Nitei Gavriel (Purim 5: n. 9, et. al.). Others assert that one should avoid reciting sheheyanu today on “new”ť fruits, since they are usually available all year, and there is no special simcha or joy when eating them. There are additional issues as to if the brocho should be said when first seeing the fruit at purchase time, becoming exempt latter.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one should recite sheheyanu only if one actually likes the fruit and derives pleasure from eating it."
On question 1742 we wrote: "Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that since in developed countries, for the right price you can usually buy stored fruits in controlled atmosphere (nitrogen) and cold storage that look and taste fresh year round or imports at supermarkets all over. Therefore, there is no real inherent great simcha and joy when they appear in stores on their collection season."
Adding to the above that in your case you ate blueberries in a muffin the day before, the Rov recommends not to recite shehecheyanu.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/2/2020 4:35 PM |
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# 2824 Falling into Hard Times?
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Q. (Re - question 2823 above on a mezuza that almost fell). How about if the mezuza totally fell and was not replaced for at least two months (we were away), do you make a brocho when you replace it?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if a mezuza completely falls off the door post, one should recite a brocho when replacing it. The Rov added, that although when one's taalis completely falls off, some don't make a brocho, (see question above), since they follow the opinion of the Poskim that advise not to recite, as they may already had in their minds when they recited the original brocho, that if the taalis completely falls off from one's body, (which is not uncommon), replacing it would also be included in that original blessing. However, a mezuza falling off the door post is unusual, and therefore a new blessing should be recited, even after a short time.
The Rov also added his opinion to those Poskim who maintain that no brocho is recited when replacing a mezuza that was removed for the purpose of having it checked.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/2/2020 4:33 PM |
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# 2823 Getting the Hang on a Mezuza Shaila
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Q. Somebody stumbled and hit on my mezuza, and it remained barely hanging only from one single mostly detached nail. It looks as if it can just fall off completely anytime. If I nail it back in place, do I have to say a brocho?
A. Pischei Teshuva (Y.D. 289: 1) quotes different opinions if one has to recite a brocho when he takes off a mezuza to check it, and replaces it back. He compares it to taking off a taalis when having in mind to wear it again. However, he rules that if the mezuza fell by itself, one has to recite a brocho when it is replaced. Others disagree and maintain that it may depend on the time elapsed and other factors. See Pischei Mezuzos ( 289: 1) for a summary of the different opinions. He also mentions that if the mezuza remained attached only by the bottom nail and it even reversed itself, he should not make a brocho, as it is analogous to a taalis that fell only partially.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar and no brocho should be recited.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/2/2020 3:46 PM |
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# 2822 Be Larger Than Life
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Q. A severely ill person who has deteriorated lately and now lays in bed constantly and requires help from his spouse even for menial things, such as going to the bathroom. He is a Talmid Hacham and always had great bitachon in Hashem's help. Yet now that he feels he has become such a heavy burden on others, his will to continue alive has now greatly diminished. He wants to know what is Horav Miller's opinion if one should will and continue to daven to Hashem for life, when it so detrimentally affects others.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that the Rov or whoever is close to the patient should explain and emphasize to him that in reality he is doing a very, very great benefit and service to the ones who help him, since they are complying with one of the greatest mitzvos there is.
He should not feel at all depressed or guilty for becoming a burden on others. On the contrary, he should daven for them in the name and zechus of the extraordinary mitzva that they are doing. He should be aware that after all, he is the one who is making this possible with his illness and all his suffering. There is no doubt, that in the end, the ones who helped him in his great time of need, will only be so grateful, for the opportunity he created with all his severe pain and great need.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/2/2020 2:44 PM |
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# 2821 Answering the Door
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Q. Someone who decided not to rely anymore on the city eiruv and is thus placing a tzuras hapesach on his front yard (two posts with a wire on top, that resemble a door frame and thus permit carrying inside the area they surround). Since he is using that Halachic door frame as an entrance to his home front yard, does he have to place a mezuza? Can he if he wants to?
A. Chazon Ish (O.H. Eiruvin 110: 5 - Y.D. 171: 1) maintains that in principle one may be liable to place a mezuza on a tzuras hapesach. However, the minhag is not to do so, since it is usually located in an open and unprotected location and prone to be stolen or damaged.
Pischei Sheorim (p. 127) mentions five reasons why a tsuras hapesach made for an eiruv is exempt from mezuza.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a.
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Posted 9/1/2020 6:12 PM |
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# 2820 Nuptial Zooming
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Q. Can an ovel (mourner) during shloshim (first thirty days) attend a Zoom wedding and wish his close and dear family members his best wishes?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if when he contacts them no music is being played and all he does is expressing his brochos and best wishes, it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/1/2020 6:04 PM |
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# 2819 Judging the Judges
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Q. Re question 2815 above. Following Horav Miller's response, why when we do Hatoras Nedarim on Erev Rosh Hashana we address even a Beis Din arranged together from the most simple people present in shul (that a least understand what is happening) as Dayonim Mumchim. (expert judges)?
A. The source for the nusach that includes the title 'Dayonim Mumchim,' in Hatoras Nedorim is the Sheloh Hakodosh (beginning of Yuma). The siddur of the Aderess omits it, since it does no apply in our days. Kol Nidrei (p. 739: n. 8) adds that the Steipler Gaon and Horav Eliashiv zt'l, also excluded the title, when they were matir nedorim, however Horav S.Z. Auerbach zt'l kept it.
Nidrei Zerizim (3: 228: 14) explains in a way similar to the above question, that it is permitted in order to honor people. He adds that giving the titles Rav or Chacham in a Get to one that isn't does not disqualify the divorce.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that notwithstanding what was mentioned in the prior answer regarding the title Rav, the title Dayonim Mumchim could be used, since it is mentioned only to a small group and not consistently.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/1/2020 5:51 PM |
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# 2818 On the Fast Track
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Q. A friend of mine is undergoing heart surgery on the Friday before Yom Kippur and won't be able to fast this year. Since he is very disturbed and upset by this, (it will be the first time in his life he omits fasting Yom Kippur), he decided to at least fast another day as a compensation. When is it better to fast later on, after Yom Kippur when he is already well and able or before Yom Kippur, early enough so it won't affect his health?
A. There is no need for one to fast another day as compensation for not being able to fast on Yom Kippur for medical reasons, however, one may do so.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if he so desires, he should better fast during the Asseres Yemei Teshuva, the ten days of repentance between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, since it is a time when fasting is propitious and favorable. (Remah O.H. 581: 2).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/28/2020 5:07 PM |
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# 2817 Out of Tune?
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Q. I witnessed a baal tokea place a mask over the shofar's open end when he was blowing to avoid spreading the virus. Is that correct to do?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that since the tone of the shofar would likely be altered by the mask placed at the large end, the mitzva would not be performed correctly. The Rov recommended avoiding that even during the blowing during the month of Elul, however after the fact and in need, one may comply then since the blowing is only a minhag.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/28/2020 4:59 PM |
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# 2816 The Blood Will Tell
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Q. Should one suffering from diabetes and has to undergo multiple finger pricks each day including Shabbos to show current sugar level, make an effort to obtain a Continuous Glucose tester. This tester uses a sensor placed under the skin to measure blood sugar level; transmits automatically each reading to a small recording device worn on your body, a nearby smartphone or a smart watch; an alarm can be set to alert of blood sugar levels that are too low or too high. Should one make an effort to use this method to diminish chilul Shabbos?
A. On question 2010 we wrote; "In regard to acquiring a Continuous Glucose Monitor, the Rov’s opinion is that if it also benefits the health perspective of the patient, and it is maintained on during the entire Shabbos, one should make an effort to acquire it. In respect to carrying the CGM where there is no eiruv, see question 1999 on an Epi-Pen, and 1732 on ankle monitors."
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a maintains that an effort should be made to acquire such tester and avoid the Biblical chilul Shabbos involved in the multiple finger pricks to draw blood done in the conventional method.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/28/2020 4:50 PM |
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# 2815 Give a Good Name?
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Q. In our shul since there are many learners and kollel people that attend, to avoid embarrassing anybody, when we call for aliyos to the Torah, we name everybody "harav." Since we also have members that are far from fitting that description, some complained that it is not proper to call them horav, as it seems like a joke. What is the correct thing to do?
A. Chashukei Chemmed (Rosh Hashana 26a) mentions a similar question and quotes Talmud (Kesubos 16b), 'How does one dance before the bride? Beis Shammai say: One recites praise of the bride as she is, emphasizing her good qualities. And Beis Hillel say: One recites: A fair and attractive bride. Beis Shammai said to Beis Hillel: In a case where the bride was lame or blind, does one say with regard to her: A fair and attractive bride? But the Torah states: “Keep you from a false matter” (Exodus 23:7). Beis Hillel said to Beis Shammai: According to your statement, with regard to one who acquired an inferior acquisition from the market, should another praise it and enhance its value in his eyes or condemn it and diminish its value in his eyes? You must say that he should praise it and enhance its value in his eyes and refrain from causing him anguish. From here the Sages said: A person’s disposition should always be empathetic with mankind, and treat everyone courteously. In this case too, once the groom has married his bride, one praises her as being fair and attractive.
He also cites the lenient opinion of the Shaarei Teshuva (3: 178-186) that when no monies are involved, one may lie for a good cause. However, he adds that Tiv Kiddushin (E.H. 65: 2) prohibits calling an ugly bride beautiful, as it is an obvious falsity. But you may use the term attractive or pleasant, since it has a different connotation.
Finally, he quotes Horav Eliashiv zt'l that the Talmud (Rosh Hashana 26a) relates of Rabi Shimon ben Lakish saying: When I went to the district of Kan Nishrayya, I heard that they called a bride ninfi. based on posuk: A “Beautiful view [nof ], the joy of the whole earth, Mount Zion” (Tehilim 48:3), which therefore means beautiful like a bride, even when she wasn't, because of promoting Darkei Sholom.
He summarizes that we should commend the gabbaim that call all attendants 'horav,' and promote Darkei Sholom.
However, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that when the situation reaches a laughable and absurd stage, it is better to avoid using that title on all present. The Rov also quoted Talmud Kiddushin (49b): If a man says to a woman: Be betrothed to me on the condition that I am a scholar, one does not say that he must be like the scholars of Yavne, like Rabbi Akiva and his colleagues. Rather, it is referring to anyone who, when he is asked about a matter of wisdom on any topic related to the Torah, responds appropriately and can say what he has learned.
The Rov also suggested to use the term 'rebbe' instead.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/28/2020 3:48 PM |
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# 2814 Timing Is Everything
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Q. A couple planning their wedding (a small wedding since it is a second marriage for both and these are still corona times) in the next weeks. Is it better to do the wedding on the third or the last week of the month of Elul, and not wait until after Rosh Hashana, since some avoid weddings on the Assereth Yemei Teshuva. or maybe it is preferable to make it at beginning of the year to avoid the time of chissur halebanah when the moon is decreasing?
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 179: 2) and Remah (E.H. 64: 3) in the name of the Ran, write that the minhag is to get married only at the beginning of the month, when the moon is still in its increase cycle. Biur Hagra (Y.D. 179: 5) points to the source in the Zohar.
However, many Poskim disagree and the minhag in many places is to perform weddings even in the second half of the lunar month (Otzar Haposkim 17: p. 64, Nitei Gavriel - Nissuim1: 47: 5, Hanessuim Kehilchoson 1: 5: 49 and others). Additionally, some Poskim maintain that on a second marriage, there is no concern on doing so at the end of the month. (Shulchan Hoezer 1: p. 86, Maaseh Avrohom 5, and others). Moreover. Darkei Teshuva (Y.D. 179: 8) asserts that the minhag does not apply at all to the month of Elul, which is in its entirety propitious for marriages.
Mateh Efraim (602: 5) maintains that one should not preferably get married during the Asseres Yemei Teshuva.
Hochmas Shlomo explains that, since it is a time of judgment, it is similar to the end of the lunar month. Again, Poskim permit on a second marriage. (Piskei Teshuvos 602: 3).
Hirav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that since both options are very similar. it is preferable to perform the wedding as early as possible.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/28/2020 3:32 PM |
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# 2813 Have a Crack at this Shailah
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Q. We were about to blow shofar for the first time this Elul, when the Baal Tokea realized that there was a split or crack of about two inches on the shofar he was given, at the wide end. We were davening in an outside minyan and no other shofar was available. Bein b'raira (no other option available). we used that shofar. Was that correct?
A. Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 586: 8) mentions that when a shofar is split in its length there are different opinions whether it becomes disqualified or not, depending on which side the crack is. its overall length and also if there was a change in the tone. Mishna Berura (ibid. 42) rules that in case of need one can be lenient in some situations.
Horav Shlomo Miller's opinion is that the above applies to the tekias shofar of Rosh Hashana, however when we are dealing with the shofar blowing of Elul which is basically only a minhag, in case of need one can be lenient even more. Nevertheless, the Rov added, the minyan should make every effort to obtain a proper kosher shofar for Elul.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/28/2020 3:20 PM |
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# 2812 Pay Attention Now!
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Q. If during tekias shofar during the days of Elul one notices someone that is seating down, should he admonish him and tell him to stand up.
A. The blowing of the shofar during the month of Elul is a minhag mentioned by the Tur and Remah (O.H. 581: 1), and one of the reasons given is to awaken the people to pay attention to the imminent and impending coming of the Days of Judgment and the essential need to do teshuva.
The minhag and tradition is indeed to stand up at the time of the tekias shofar (Piskei Teshuva Nitei. Gavriel 3: 10 and others).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if someone has difficulty to stand he may remain seated. However, if the seating is due to the lack of consciousness and care for the impending Yom Hadin, he should indeed be reprimanded.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/26/2020 12:28 PM |
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# 2811 Don't Blow It
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Q. We daven in a backyard minyan these covid times. Some of our neighbors are not very friendly and often complain unjustly to the noise. Now that we are going to start blowing shofar, they probably are going to have a fit. Can we blow the shofar inside one of our homes and the people will hear it but maybe only faintly. Is that OK?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's shlit'a opinion is that for Chodesh Elul shofar it is permitted, as long as they can hear it even faintly.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/26/2020 12:24 PM |
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# 2810 Teach a Man to Fish
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Q. We have a large
aquarium at home. If a fish perishes on Shabbat and puts in danger
all the other fish. Can one take it out?
A.
Cheshed Haefod (50) permits in need to extract the dead fish when it
is fit for cat or dog food, relying on the Taz (308: 32) and Bach
(ibid) especially when one owns such pets.
Shemiras
Shabbos K. (27: 99) is also lenient due to the tzaar baal chaim or
pain caused to the other fish. Shebet Halevi (1: 62) is also lenient,
however warns that when extracting the dead fish, one should be
careful not to transgress the borer prohibitions.
Hurav
Shlomo Miller Shlit'a opinion is similar
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/26/2020 11:45 AM |
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# 2809 Room For Compromise?
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Q. If a person is in a yichud situation, (being in the same room with a woman), may he text his friend where he is and tell the friend (who is a few blocks away) to feel free to come over at any time and ring the bell? Will that solve the issue? (Such as where the door cannot be left open due to the weather, or the lady doesn't let, and one is not interested in fighting with her, or if they are not expecting anyone to come in). Does the lady (not sure of her religion) have to know that I texted him?
A. Asking a friend that is close by, to call on you is certainly beneficial, when he can have actual access at his will. See question 1688 where we wrote; "The home door should be left unlocked or the meeting should take place in a room with an uncovered window facing the street. If the husband is out of town, a neighbor should be asked to check on the home. “
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a has advised on similar situations to take your cell phone with you and leave it with the camera on facing you, while a friend is checking on you.
However if the yichud situation is constant and ongoing, as when he is staying or renting a room in her home, the Halacha may be different. See question 974 regarding a two bedroom apartment, if a man and a woman renting an apartment together can share the bathroom and kitchen while each lives in a separate private room with locks on door, we wrote: "Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that sharing an apartment in the particular setting you describe is not a good idea as it can easily lead to the yichud prohibition of seclusion and then to promiscuity, even if more people reside in the co-ed flat."
In question # 346 in this forum, Horav Miller recommended adding a security camera for office employees and in question # 828 for an elderly patient left alone with the female care-giver to avoid yichud.
We there mentioned that Horav Nissim Karelitz Shlit”a (quoted in Moriah-Elul 5771 p.146) maintains that security cameras are to be regarded as an open door to the street in regards to the yichud prohibition, which the Noda Beyihuda (E.H. 71) permits. He mentions that they do not have to be scrutinized on real time, as long as there is a possibility that the tape (or digital recording) could later be seen, and it is an effective deterrent.
We also quoted the Minchas Ish (p. 267) who permits yichud inside the safe deposit-box room in banks, due to the presence of security cameras. See also Nitey Gavriel (Yihud 45: 8 – p 283).
However, in the setting you describe even with installed security cameras, Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a strongly recommends to be stringent. This is due to the close familiarity and intimacy created by the daily mutual sharing of the unit’s facilities for an extended period of time.”
(See also questions 346, 408. 974).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/26/2020 9:33 AM |
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