Q. How come on Tu Beav as the Talmud (end of Taanis) relates, the marriageable women would go out and dance in the vineyards and the attending males would choose the one they liked and took them as spouses right there. Whatever happened to the mandatory stage of shiduchim that the Talmud requires first?
A. It is quoted (Tachas Hassichim 73: 40), that Rav Yaakov Galinsky zt”l once answered a similar question from a elterer bochur (senior young man) already past his prime, seeking a shiduch (a mate). The bochur also wanted to know why people who are in need of finding a shiduch often travel to Amuka to pray at the kever of the Tanna, Rabi Yonassan Ben Uziel.
Rav Yaakov explained that the Talmud (Suka 28a) relates that when this great Tannaic Sage would be learning Torah, any bird that flew over his head would be burned by his great kedusha. Paraphrasing, that all the “birdies” and doubtful, negative thoughts, (as
in the Yidish expression; “feigelach oiffen kop”),
flying around his head, would be consumed by the fire of his Torah learning. On Tu Beav, in the days of the Bais Hamikdash, the people were granted exceptional vision and clarity and did not need any additional research. Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a said that there is
no mention in the Talmud, that the couples married that same day.
Likely, after meeting the prospective spouse, they followed the
accustomed process.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo
Miller Shlit”a
Q. What brocho do you make when drinking unflavored Metamucil?
A. Metamucil is one of the brand names for a psyllium fibre compound, used as a bulk-forming laxative and cholesterol-lowering medication.
Poskim rule that one does not recite a brocho when eating or drinking something that one does not derive any pleasure when consuming it. The classic case is drinking water just to swallow a pill (Binyan Tziyon 1: 10, Yad Halevy 35 et. al.).
Therefore Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is not to recite a brocho unless it is a flavored compound. (See question 1217 in regards to using Metamucil on Shabbos and Yom Tov).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. On question 1394 Horav Miller ruled you should not wash a dog’s clothing during the nine days. Can you wash the dog itself?
A. Shulachan Aruch (O.H. 613: 1) permits washing off grime and stains even on Yom Kipur, since only the bathing for pleasure is prohibited. Nitei Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 2: 70: 10, n. 14- p. 402) maintains that it is therefore permitted bathing a child on Tisha Beav, when he is normally bathed daily. He adds that the adult should wear gloves.
Mishnas Avrohom on Sefer Chasidim (1540: 2, p. 201) assumes as an obvious fact that you can do a tahara on a niftar on Tisha Beav, and the chevra kadisha can also wash themselves afterwards if needed.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that you can bathe an animal when needed, even on Tisha Beav, but preferably after chatzos (midday), as tzaar baal chaim (animal suffering or distress) may be involved, if the bathing is overdue. (Adding the fact that many dogs don’t necessarily enjoy a bath given to them).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. If I’m placed on hold on a phone call and while waiting, happy music is played, do I have to hang up during the 3 weeks?
A. On question 1312 we wrote: “In question 104 we mentioned that in regards to the avelus of the Three Weeks, which is usually more stringent than than Sefira period, there are Poiskim who permit listening to music that is not played for the sake of enjoyment or pleasure, as one who employs workers that listen to the radio as they work, or music that is played for a child to calm him to sleep. (Nitey Gavriel , Bein Hametzorim ch. 15, 8-13). Some Poiskim understand the music prohibition as only what conduces to joy and dancing, and permit classical music, played for soothing and comforting the soul. (Shoalin Vedorshim p. 245). However others disagree. See question 1395 above.
Igros Moshe (O.H. 3: 87) permits teaching instrumental music when it is done as a professional duty and not for enjoyment, See Naharos Eisan (p. 252) in regards to permitting singing and playing music for children in school.
Shoishanas Yisroel (Ben Hametzorim 1: 18) mentions that one should change the ringtone if it was recorded for the purpose of joy.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in the onset, one should avoid this type of ringtone the year around. However, once set it does not have to be removed.”
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a pointed out that most people do not enjoy being placed on hold, no matter what music is being played.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q.
Is it preferable to cover ones eyes with his talis [rather than his
hand] when saying the first pasuk of shema? Is there any mekor for
using a tallis?
A.
The Talmud (Brochos 13b) relates that Rebi Yehuda Hanossi would place
his hand over his eyes when reciting the first pasuk of the shema.
Rosh (ibid.) and Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 51: 5) explain that the reason
is to avoid being disturbed by what one sees and to maintain
concentration on the shema.
Kaf
Hachaim (ibid. 22) maintains that there is no fault in just closing
one’s eyes, although many disagree.
Od
Yosef Chai (Vaero) writes that the tradition is that at night one
closes his eyes with the right hand, while in the morning, one covers
his head and upper face with the talis and then he places his right
hand over the talis covering his eyes with both. He notes that
although the Arizal omitted the above, it is the accepted tradition
to do it. See similar in Divrei Benayahu (O.H. 4: 2).
Meor
Yisroel (Brrchos 15b) quotes a minhag to cover ones eyes with both
hands, placing them in a specific way that creates the name Shakai.
Horav
Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one should follow the
minhag of the community where he davens.
Q. Dear Rabbi Bartfeld, shlit"a My son has a waterproof bluetooth speaker that he can take in the shower and listen to music. This can be helpful in that the music makes him energetic in the morning. Is there a problem listening to songs that have psukim or parts of psukim, given that it is being played in the washroom? For that matter, what if a person is in the washroom and can hear music with psukim that is being played loudly in another room?
Thank you.
A. On question 144 we wrote; “Poiskim rule that you cannot listen to a Torah tape while working inside, (a bathroom) as you would be thinking Torah thoughts in an undesirable location. (Be’er Moishe 6, 108, 4 – Be’er Sorim 36). It is noteworthy to mention that Horav Ovadia Yosef Shlit”a (Yavia Omer 5,11 – Halichos Oilom 1, p.119) permits listening to tapes or liturgical music while taking a bath on a private bathroom that has no toilet present. According to his view you would be permitted to listen to Torah tapes while working in such a location. However, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is to be always particularly respectful on the holiness of the Torah…”
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that he should not take his bluetooth devise into the bathroom nor listen to any songs that contain psukim or other divrei kodesh when there.
If one is on the bathroom he should certainly try to avoid listening to the above, if it cannot be done, as with laud music originating from other areas or buildings not under his control, if he does not have any intention to listen it is permitted in need, as it is a dovor sheino miskaven or an unintentional act.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. Can I use Afterbite on a mosquito bite on Shabbos? It is not medicine, but it relieves the itching?
Can one anoint oneself with oil on Shabbos, for example rubbing oil on one's arms?
A. Shulchan Aruch (O,H, 327: 1) rules that one who experiences discomfort on Shabbos may do things that healthy people normally do, even if his intention is to relieve the discomfort. For example, one who has itchy skin may apply oil that healthy people apply as well. One may also apply oil to one’s hands and lips, since nowadays people do so even when their skin is not chapped or cracked – to soften them or for the pleasant feeling. However, you may not apply paste or cream.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that using any liquid designated specifically to stop itching, is not permitted, since normally it is not used and is therefore seen as medicine. (See Shulchan Aruch O.H. 328: 44 and Mishna Berura 141, 142, - Shemiras Shab. Keh. 25: 28).
In regards to placing the itch-relieve medicine indirectly, such as outside of the bite and then letting the liquid run down into the affected area, the Rov’s opinion is to be stringent. However, when needed for children it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. We just installed an 8 feet wide patio door. This door is a sliding door, (composed of a 4 feet stationary glass panel and the sliding 4 feet door). There is no middle column where to install a mezuzah. Placing the mezuzah at the left side of the frame is too far to reach when exiting the house. Could we place the mezuzah on the right when exiting?
A. Assuming your patio door opens to the back garden and you can access the garden from the street also, according to most Poskim the mezuza should be on the right of the entrance to the house from the garden, (Chovat Hadar 8, 1, 4), it is the only correct place for it.
If there is no access from the street to the garden, Igrois Moshe (Y.D. 1: 181)., maintains that you indeed place the mezuza on the right side, as you go out to the garden. See also Minchas Yitzchok (1: 8-9), Ohr Letzion (Y.D. 1: 14), Beis Yatziv (2: 1). However, other contemporary Poskim disagree. (Inside Stam, (p. 212) quoting Horav Eliashiv zt”l, Horav Vosner zt:l and Horav Nissim Karelitz Shlit”a).
Poskim maintain that you can place the mezuza on the aluminum frame of the closed glass panel, either at the internal edge or the outside, and that would make it accessible to be touched and kissed. You will then be treating that panel not as a door but rather as a wall.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that, it is preferable to place the mezuza on the frame connected to the brick of the house, or on the brick itself. The reason being that sometimes, the stationary glass panel can be unscrewed from the frame and become mobile like the other sliding door, so it is not a proper wall. In addition, the aluminum frame of that panel is similar to a door and unlike the jamb of a proper door frame,
In you particular case, when dealing with the handicapped who desire to reach and kiss the mezuza, the Rov maintains that it can be placed on the aluminum frame of the always closed glass panel.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. This question came up over Shabbos, and got me thinking. Some mezuzos have Shem Hashem on the case. If such a Mezuzah is on a bedroom doorway, would it be assur to change in there? If so, would the same issue arise from having a shma card hanging on the wall with Shem Hashem? If the shma card does not have Hashem written out, but has full pesukim (shma, hamalach, rigzu...) or tehillim, is this a problem?
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 286: 14) rules that it is preferable to place the mezuza of a bedroom on the frame on the outside of the door, the mezuza now being on the exterior of the room when the door is closed, thus avoiding issues of honoring the kedusha of the mezuza, including yours.
If it cannot be done, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that Hashem’s name on the mezuza case requires double covering, similar to the parchment inside. (See Agur Beohalecha 9:5, Shaarei Mezuza 18: 8). He added, that you may be lenient in need, if the name of Hashem is written or engraved vertically.
Cards and posters that have Hashem’s names or psukim, should not be displayed in a bedroom.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. It is forbidden to walk behind a woman. Is it permitted to do so if it is one's wife, and she is in her days of purity, since one is in any case permitted to entertain libidinous thoughts of her at that time of the month?
Can one walk next to a woman that is not his wife?
A. The Talmud (Berachos 61a) teaches that the restriction to walk behind a woman applies even to one’s wife, as was the case with Manoach. Rashi (ibid.) mentions that it is a “gnai” or an inappropriate act. Einaim Lamishpot (ibid.) explains that Rashi’s intention is that it is improper due to the “chashad” that the people may suspect him of improper behavior, since not all may recognize his wife. Therefore the restriction would apply even when his wife is tahor. A similar ruling is to be found in Avos D’Rabi Nossan (2: 2) and in Binyan Yehoshua (ibid.).
Shulchan Aruch (E.H. 21: 1) rules that in principle one may walk, at the same pace (isalkena letzdadim) next (but not close) to another woman, not only his wife. However, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that the interpretation of isalkena letzdadim does not mean to walk on her side as opposed to behind her, rather it means to pass her over and walk in front. However the Rov added, that common sense, tznius and decorum must rule, as it is not the same to take a stroll on the park, to the helping and protecting of someone vulnerable or frail, to reach home.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. Are you allowed to wash a piece of clothing that you wrap around your dog before Tisha Beav?
A. On question 594 we wrote: Although you may vacuum clean a carpet during the Nine Days, even a Gentile should not wash them. The same applies to curtains (Nitei Gavriel Ben Hametzorim 1: 35: 20, Shoshanas Yisroel 4: 9) Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is similar.” (See also question 340)
The Rov's Shlit"a opinion is that the clothing of an animal is alike, and one should avoid washing it during the Nine Days.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. Can one wash during the Nine Days a dress that is clean, just for the purpose of having it shrink so it will fit? It will be worn on Shabbos Chazon.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is permitted in need, since the soaking of the dress in water is not for cleaning purposes and it is not defined as washing.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. Some of us instead of washing jeans and sweaters that fade and look worn out after only a few washes, place the pieces in the freezer for a day and it works just fine. See: hhtps. housekeeping. wonderhowto.com. Are you allowed to freeze your clothing during the nine days?
A. From the above link I quote: “According to Jill Guenza of Levi Strauss, jeans develop bacteria over time and wear that causes them to smell. When they start to get stinky, we tend to toss them into the wash—but that's what wears both their fabric and color down. Guenza instead recommends sticking your jeans in the freezer, where the bacteria can be killed by the cold temperatures and rid the fabric of its odors.”
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if the freezing is the only “cleaning factor” involved, it may be permitted during the Nine Days. The Rov asked to verify if condensation may be also part of the process. I did not find any mention of it on line. I did find was a suggestion to defrost by using the microwave oven, which is a more effective way to kill bacteria. That would also be permitted during the Nine Days.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. How come we read the pasuk of Eicha Essa on parshat Devarim and some read the Haftara also with the nigun of Megilat Eicha, is that not Avelut Befarhesia on Shabbat, that is prohibited?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that our sages often instituted tefilos, such as Av Horachamim, Izkor, Haftoros etc, that contain a sad or mournful theme to be recited or read on Shabbos. This does not represent avelus befarhessia or open grieving, since it is done as an established, generalized tradition of imparting necessary teachings and prayers for all.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. Can you listen to tapes of chazanos of tefilos, during the three weeks, if you are interested in knowing the nusach and the nigunim, when you daven for the amud on Shabbos or Yomim Noraim?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in principle if they are not melodies of simcha and joy, rather the normal nigunim that a chazan or a baal tefila sing by the amud, that express more sentiment, fervor and emotion than happiness and delight, they are permitted to listen to or sing even during the tefilos of the nine days, especially if one’s intention is only for learning them. The fact is that even on Tisha Beav we do sing Keli-Tzion. See question 104, 1305 and 281 in regards to classical music during Sefira and Bein Hametzorim, where we mentioned the Rov’s opinion that; it is likely that while listening to a symphony, the motif may change and parts of it may meet the criteria of the mood markings of allegro, animato, or giocoso. It is therefore advisable to refrain from listening to all music, unless needed for therapeutic purposes. Similarly, (and lehavdil too) when listening to chazonus, the nigunim may change suddenly to happy and joyful to be avoided songs.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. If one is in doubt if he made Kiddush Friday night, or if it was made correctly, he cannot repeat it (although it is good to hear it from someone else).
In the event that he cannot hear from someone else, he is allowed to eat normally, although it is forbidden to eat before Kiddush.
Would it be an act of piety to eat the bare minimum that one is required to eat on Shabbos, in such a case, as every bit of food that one enters into his mouth is possibly a transgression of eating before Kiddush? (Obviously, this is talking about a person who is on a high madreiga…)
A. Mishna Berura (289: 10) rules that if someone does not have any wine, chamar medina or bread on Friday night, if he thinks it is likely that he may get some later, he should wait a couple of hours, but not after chatzos. If he is hungry or weak, he may rely on the kiddush (vayichulu) said in maariv, eat what he has, and not nullify the mitzva of oneg Shabbos. When the wine or bread arrive, he recites kiddush and eats a kezais of bread. The above applies if he had in mind to comply with the Biblical mitzva of kiddush when he said vayichulu, otherwise he should repeat it. (Mishna Berura 271: 1, Shaarei Tzion ibid 4).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that when in doubt if the kiddush was said correctly or maybe even not at all, he should make only the brocho on the wine, since reciting a brocho when in doubt is a Biblical prohibition, while eating without kiddush is only Rabbinical, and permitted when in doubt. (See also Piskei Teshuvos 271: 7)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. (Re- Question 1362) Regarding pausing the Amidah to listen to krias hatorah -Isn't it true that the Chazon Ish and Rav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach maintained that one may not stop his Shemona Esrei in the middle to listen to Krias HaTorah.
A. Indeed, Piskei Teshuvos (104: n. 108) and others quote this two sources not to be mafsik for krias Hatorah in the middle of the amida, however, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that on mincha on a taanis since the reading is much shorter while one is slowly reciting the amida, he may stop between the brochos and listen quietly to the Krias Hatorah; while being careful not to stop and be mafsik a stretch longer that the time it would take to recite the complete amida. (Mishna Berura 65: 3, see also s.104). One may however, while they call another reader to the Torah, continue with the amida.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. Kavod Harav,
(Re- question 1362 where Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a ruled that once one has started the amida and said the first words of the bracha he should continue with the rest. The reason is that it is improper and disrespectful to interrupt the address being said to the King of the Universe).
Would the rav rule differently if the person merely said Hashem Sefasai etc. but did not begin the actual Amidah (Baruch...). Ben Ish Chai (1st year, Vayakhel 10; Rav Pe’alim Vol. 4, no. 4 says that if a person has said the opening verse, and then encounters kaddish or kedushah, he should answer with the congregation, and then repeat the first pasuk again and begin davening. Mekor Chaim (122:1) writes similarly that one can make a hefsek for the purpose of answering kaddish and kedushah.
A. Although Mishna Berurah (66: 35) maintains that once Hashem sefassai was said it is considered as having already started amida, as you quote many Poskim rule that in mincha one can still answer. Ishei Yisroel (32: H. 47) seems to say that the Mishna Berura would agree. See also Piskei Teshuvos (111 n.14).
As mentioned, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that by mincha, only when the and the first two words of the bracha were said one should continue and not be mafsik.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Q. May one say Shalom to a woman whose hair is not covered?
A. This questions involves two Issues. Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 75: 2) rules that one may not read the shema or recite any blessing, including any other expression that is considered a ‘dovor shebekedusha” or holy articulation, in front of a woman who has her hair uncovered, including one’s own wife. (Mishna Berura ibid 1). Most Poskim follow this stringent ruling.
However, Aruch Hashulchan (O. H. 75: 7) mentions that in our days since many women don’t cover their heads, uncovered hair has ceased from being considered an “ervah” or nakedness, and is similar to the hair of unmarried women that is not prohibited. Igrois Moishe (O.H. 1: 42) in regards to the required height of a mechitza offers a similar lenient ruling in case of need. (See also Igrois Moishe O.H. 4: 15, and so do Ben Ish Chai, Or LeZion. et.al.).
Mishna Berura (ibid. 5), quoting Nishmas Adam, asserts that since this prohibition is only rabbinical, one may just close one’s eyes, when uttering “devarim shebekdusha.”
Whether the word “shalom” is considered an expression of holiness, Mishna Berura (85: 10) opines that if it is said as a greeting, it should not be mentioned in an unclean place such as a bathroom or bathhouse. However, Poskim are lenient on calling someone named Sholom by his name in such a place (Taz ibid, Birkei Yosef ibid. 9). Chayei Adam (3: 36) sugest to say the name incomplete as “shalo.”
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that indeed, in need one may greet a woman with uncovered hair using the word shalom, in need. Preferably, one should use another expression, the incomplete word, or close one’s eyes.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
Q. The Halacha is that one may not start a meal once it is 30 minutes before alos.
I would like to ask the rav shlita: May one forego this Halacha if there is a mitzvah for him to eat a seuda, such as one who awoke from his sleep shortly before alos and realized that he did not yet eat matzah on the first night of Pesach, in which case he has a chiyuv d'oraysa to eat matzah (since some hold you can eat it until alos) or even one who needs to eat melava malka?
A. Mishna Berura (89: 27) rules that the prohibition to start eating more than an egg-size of bread less than a half an hour before the alos mentioned in Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 652) in regards to the mitzva of lulav, applies equally to the daily reading of shema. Mekadesh Yisroel permits less than a beitza on the onset (Bein Hametzarim 2: 1- See question 347 in this forum).
Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 89: 3) permits eating when done for medical reasons. Mishna Berura (ibid. 24) explains that even if one is only partially ill it is permitted since his eating is not for pleasure. The same could be argued when the eating is for the purpose of complying with a mitzva. Chashukei Chemed (Suka 27a) addresses a similar question if one did not eat a kezais in the suka the first night until less than a half an hour before alos and rules leniently.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the mitzva of eating matza overrides the above prohibition. In regards to melava malka, he may eat less than a beitza amount.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Important Numbers
