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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 4501- Love Not Lost
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Q. Dear Rabbi. Is it permitted for a special commando soldier (my brother) whose wife is a niddah to hug her goodbye before leaving to fight in a special mission the accursed suicidal terrorists, since he is truly afraid he may not see her ever again?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he should write a beautiful and emotional letter instead, that will be kept for the future, reflecting far more his true feelings of love and care.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:43 AM |
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# 4500- Date up to Date
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Q. If I am dating or married to someone who is physically infirm or has a visual impairment, is it a violation of shomer negia to help guide them if no one else is available, even in public? Does it matter whether or not I am a nidda?
A. Poskim maintain That in such a case one should use a separating cloth for the companion to hold on. The above applies to a doctor or nurse also.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:41 AM |
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# 4499- Again Same Name
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Q. I am dating someone whose first name is the same as my son's middle name. Is that even a shayla? Or is it just a matter of kibbud av v'eim not to marry someone with the same name as your parent's names? Does it matter if the parent is no longer alive?
A. Since as is it is only your sons middle name, the complete name is already different.
The above are only minhagim and traditions that in case of need can be overridden by adding an additional name.
See question 3493 regarding a bride that the name of the mother of the proposed chosson, is the same as hers.
We wrote: The tradition of both the groom and the bride not sharing the names of the counterpart parents, is based on the Tzava’ah or last will and testament of Rav Yehuda HaChasid, written in the beginning of Sefer Chassidim.
On question 175 in regard to shunning a marriage to a woman whose father's name is the same as his we wrote that
“this is to be found in the Will (letter 23), where he adds; “And if he did marry her, he should change name, maybe there is hope”. Some retrace the above to the Arizal (Mizmor Leasaf p.110).
A number of reasons are given: Firstly, Ein Horah (evil eye, Chidah 'Bris Olam 447' Heishiv Moishe 69, Chazon Ish, Maase Ish 215 ). Some maintain that it will cause an infringement in the respect due to the father, as his daughter will call her husband by his name in front of him. (Yad Shoul Y.D. 240 ' Mevakshei Torah 24 p.155).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that there is no concern if the names are not exactly the same.”
Some Poskim maintain that the Tzava’ah applies only to his family and descendants (Noda Beyehuda E.H. 2: 79). However, others maintain that it refers to all. Therefore, usually people are indeed careful.
Divrei Chaim (E.H. 1: 8) mentions that in his circles, they specially avoid marriage when the name of the bride is the same as her future mother in law. A similar opinion is to be found in Tzemach Tzedek (Y.D. 116) quoting the Baal Hatanya. However, he permits changing the name in a minor way, as do others.
Indeed there are Poskim that also maintain that if the mother in law is usually named by a given title, such as Rebetzin, there is no concern. (Tirosh Veitzhor 214).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that for those who maintain that tradition, indeed they can be lenient.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:39 AM |
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# 4498- Secure Sure Security?
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Q. Does a Shul or institution have to inform the attendants that they are being taped by security cameras? Does it make a difference if it is during Shabbath or not?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one does not have to notify the attendants of being taped by security cameras as it is common and an accepted factor everywhere in our days.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:34 AM |
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# 4497- Ach! Don’t say No to Noach
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Q. Rov, we are Be’H doing the Brith Milah of our son this Thursday. Is it advisable and recommended to name him with the name of the Parsha, “Noach”? (We have a friend that died during the recent attacks with that name.)
A. On question 2512 regarding if one can give the name of a dear deceased grandfather named Adam to their newborn, we wrote: “Mabit (Teshuvos 1: 276) maintains that on the onset, one should not use names of individuals that were alive before Avrohom Avinu, for naming a child. The above would include Adam and Noach. (See Pischei Teshuvos 265: 6).
However, Birkei Yosef (Y.D. 265: 10) quoting Knessess Hagedola, questions that ruling, since we find Sages that were named with those ancient names, such as Binyamin bar Yefes (Brochos 33a) or Akavia ben Mahalalel (Avos 3: 1).
Nevertheless, Teshuvos Vehanhogos (1: 605), writes that he never heard of one being called Adam, although the name of his wife Chava is common. He deduces that there must be a valid reason why.
He adds, that if the name is given to honor a deceased relative and not in the name of a Biblical personage, it is permitted. He writes that some choose a name that is mentioned in the current weekly parsha, such as Noach. (This name is more common than Adam).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is permitted. The Rov quoted the example of Adam Baal Shem of Rofshitz, the teacher of the Baal Shem Tov and originator of the Chassidik movement. (See Meditation and Kabbala by Rav A. Kaplan)."
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the same applies to the name of Noach. After all we have a significant number of Tadikim named Noach even in our days such as Horav Noach Weinberg zt’l, the founder of Aish HaTorah, Horav Noach Oelbaum Shlit’a and others.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:31 AM |
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# 4496- Put On your Thinking Cap
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Q. Someone who is careful during Shabbos not to even scratch his hair or ruffle his beard as a precaution for not tearing his hair similar to avoid combing.
Can he use during the very cold and windy days of winter a cap or a tight headgear, since it may also involuntarily tear some hair? How about a regular hat that is tightly placed over one’s head?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is to be lenient since you do not have any intention or benefit of tearing any hair and it is also not a necessarily (P’sik Reisha) outcome.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:21 AM |
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# 4495 - Anonymous Bonus Son
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Q. I heard today in a Shiur that Noach had actually four children. Could that be true?
A. Abarbanel (Bereishis 9: 18) mentions that he found in secular history books that claim Noach had a fourth son born to him after the Mabul and his name was Yuniku.
Abarbanel also writes that since there is no mention of this fourth son in the Torah and also in the secular books there is no mention of descendants of this son therefore there is no need to believe this to be true.
Seder Hadoros from Shalsheles Hakabalah that there was a fourt son who was rejected by his three brothers and joined Nimrod as his advisor. (from a recent Emailim BaTorah).
There are various traditions in post-biblical and Talmudic sources claiming that Noach had children other than Shem, Ham, and Yophes who were the ones born before the Deluge.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:19 AM |
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# 4494 - Rest when Your Mind is at Rest
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Q. May one say Tehillim publicly on Shabbos with a large minyan on these terrible times and recite special public own Bakoshos mentioning the names of our dear family captives?
May one daven special private requests pertaining to the terrible matzav of dear ones during Shabbos? Any special recommendations as to how to do it?
A. We recently addressed a question if one can say during Shabbos after reciting Tehilim the prayer of “Acheinu Beis Yisroel” usually said then during weekdays. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that during Shabbos it should be avoided. Although we do recite many prayers of Mi Sheberach and Tefilos in the amida asking for all different kinds of needs. Yet, it depends on the strength and force of the demand used.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:15 AM |
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# 4493 Pray Tell to who you Pray
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Q. Dear Rabbi. During the recent cruel and brutal Hamas attacks on Israel, many Arab civilians are also suffering including small children and babies. Is it correct to include them also in our Tefilot?
A. In principle all of our Tefilos and prayers are directed also to the welfare of the world, all people and nations.
The prophet Yeremiahu (29: 7) wrote from Babel “And seek the welfare of the city to which I have exiled you and pray to Hashem in its behalf; for in its prosperity you shall prosper.” Malbim, a 19th century commentator, explains that abundance comes to the Jewish community through Babel, and thus we must pray for the governments of the nations in which we live.
A similar saying is to be found In Pirkei Avos (3: 2), Rabbi Chanina teaches: “Pray for the welfare of the kingdom”
In the days of the Bais Hamikdosh the Korbonos on Succos were brought to bring protection and success for the gentile nations.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:13 AM |
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# 4492 Rain me In or Out?
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Q. One who started a seuda indoors on Sukkos or in any other Shabbos or Yom Tov, and because of rain or other sudden reason may he continue his seuda in a different house if
he had in mind to do so in the beginning and even if the rain has stopped when he goes out?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he can.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:09 AM |
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# 4491 Your True Home?
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Q. My son Yishay is in Jerusalem, Israel. He started his 3rd year at Rabbi Portnoy's Yeshivah. Do you believe he is in danger? Should I bring him home to the states?
A. On question 4483 regarding travelling to Israel to attend a wedding for a nephew on the Thursday after Yom Tov, considering all the tragedies just happening, we wrote: “Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in principle one should not cancel this trip. However there may likely be many different conditions and details to consider and a Posek familiar with the case should be asked.”
The Rov’s Shlit’a opinion now is that it may be better to return.
Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a mentioned that there are two basic singular groups in the Yeshivos in Eretz Yisroel. One concentrates and places all efforts in learning Torah as good and intense as they can, to offer relieve and save lives with the merit of their Torah learning.
Others maybe involuntarily spend much time just talking about the tragic situation they are undergoing. He recommends that the first group should remain and the second should come back.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:00 AM |
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#4490 A Hopefully Unnecessary Shaila One Has to read
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Q. See question above. Any other security recommendations to comply with on this particular Shabbos in a Beis Hamedresh or Shul?
A. 1) Lock or secure the entrance door/s, so only people that know the combination can enter. Have someone near by available to open the door after seeing the individual who is knocking on the door. Verify that the doors close and lock after use.
2) Avoid large groups of Mispalelim entering or exiting together, as well as remaining outside of the shul and when waiting to cross the street.
3) Have a phone available in shul and also a list of emergency numbers readily available.
4) Since every institution is different, review with experts and Hatzala the steps to take in case of chas veshalom an emergency.
5) Check available fire extinguishers and emergency medical products and equipment.
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Posted 10/13/2023 12:18 PM |
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# 4489 Plod Along Alone?
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Q. Dear Rabbi can you please ask Horav Miller Shlit’a if people should avoid this Shabbos walking to shul in certain worrisome areas, due to the possible sakanah (danger) involved?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that specially during this Shabbos people should walk with company and not alone.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/13/2023 12:12 PM |
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# 4488 The Safe Danger
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Q. Should one join a pro-Israel demonstration during these terrible times facing a pro- Arab one, even when separated and protected by police?
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 117: 5), Rambam (H. Rotzeach Veshmiras Nefesh 12: 2) and others rule that one should avoid being in a place of danger.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it all depends on the degree of danger present, since after all we do drive cars and travel by plane, unless of course the speed or other conditions make it indeed unsafe.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/12/2023 5:15 PM |
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# 4487 Sinking Thinking
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Q. If one eats fruits or fries that he sinks in ketchup, pepper sauce or any other similar source of flavouring liquid, does he have to wash hands ‘Netilas Yodaim’?
A. In principle we do not need to wash our hands when eating something that was dipped in or has any of the above flavouring liquids on it, based on a number of reasons. 1. The Halacha of washing our hands on foods that are dipped into liquids is in principle debatable, and many are not particular on observing this tradition.
Even according to those who keep this minhag, if the “liquid” being used as a dip is mostly other ingredients and not water, we don’t consider the item to be one of the seven required liquids, and it seems from the order of the list of ingredients that they are not more than 50% water.
Besides, even if it would be mostly water, according to many Poskim, if the water was cooked together with other items and the liquid doesn’t taste like water, it isn’t considered water. Therefore the above liquids which are basically cooked tomatoes or tomato paste cooked with water, will not be considered one of the required seven liquids, and one would not have to wash hands before eating them.
(Mishna Berurah O:H 158-20, M:B ibid 26. Shulchan Aruch Horav 158-3, Aruch Hashulchan O:CH 158-4,5, 10, Daas Torah Siman 158, Piskei Teshuvos 158-9, Sharei Habracha 1 n. 156.)
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/12/2023 5:13 PM |
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# 4486 The Blessed Drink
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Q. Does one recite Shecheyanu on new liquor prepared from new esrogim?
A. Horav Horav Yaakov Hirshman Shlit'a explained that since the esrogim are boiled a number of times and after grinding and mixing the paste in alcohol, very little remains of the new fruit; even if one would make a Shecheyanu on the esrog, one does not do so on the liquor.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/12/2023 5:10 PM |
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# 4485 Bracha for Aroma?
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Q. Does one recite Shecheyanu on the pleasant smell of a new fruit or flower on that year?
A..Mishna Brurah (225:16) rules that the bocho of Shechecheyanu is not recited on a fragrance, even on those fruits or flowers that are renewed each year.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/12/2023 5:08 PM |
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# 4484 In Heavens Name?
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Q. Just like the letters Yud - Hey we are not allowed to write which is the name of G-d. Shouldn’t we also be prohibited to write Vav – Hey, after the title since it is also part of His name?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if it is mentioned as part of Hashem’s name, it also maintains that Kedusha and Holiness.
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Posted 10/12/2023 5:05 PM |
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# 4483 Joy Trip or Stumble Trip
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Q. I have a wedding for a nephew this Thursday after Yom Tov. I was planing to travel to Israel and made all the arrangements. Considering all the tragedies just happening should I better cancel the trip, or is it better to be ‘Mesameach’ and give joy the couple?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in principle one should not cancel this trip. However there may likely be many different conditions and details to consider and a Posek familiar with the case should be asked.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/12/2023 5:03 PM |
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# 4482 Torah or Tehilim?
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Q. What is better, to recite Tehillim for our recent Kedoshim and victims during these terrible times or to learn Torah for them and in their merit?
A. The great power of Torah learning is of course well known and the many benefits and merits it beholds is most amazing and helpful in times of crisis and need.
However, the Maharsha (Talmud Avodah Zarah 19a) teaches that reciting Tehilim causes one to fear Hashem.
Peleh Yoetz (Tehilim p. 641) adds that Tehilim has many different benefits. He concludes that, “One who routinely recitesTehilim is protected from all harm befalling his house, his family and his estate. One who wishes to attach himself to Hashem and His praises should be connected by the Sefer Tehilim.”
After all, Dovid Hamelech requested Hashem that saying Tehillim should be considered like learning Negoim and Ohalos. See Halichos Shlomo (Tefilah 8: footnote 62) and others.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that both of them are effective and helpful, however in different ways.
The great power of Torah learning as mentioned is well known.
The Rov Shlit’a added that by praising an thanking Hashem even in very difficult times, as we do in reciting Tehilim, one shows great love to Him and that results in Him loving us more back and saving us.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/12/2023 5:01 PM |
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Important Numbers
