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# 3353 The Real Happy Pills
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Q. (see question 3352 above - This Shaila came some time ago and was not answered yet).
I'm a young Yeshiva graduate and happily married man, that possesses a great desire for women. I have worked diligently and placed great effort in conquering my Yetzer Hora (evil inclination) and I don't look at other women, yet the desire is very strong. Would the Rov recommend to take pills that help control those desires, (as are given to soldiers etc.)?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that there is no need for pills to be taken, since we have a better medicine as instructed by our great medical authority the Rambam himself.
At the end of Halachos Yesurei Biah (22: 21) he points out to different causes for that Yetzer Hora and maintains that those feelings will occupy the hearth of someone empty of wisdom. However, the one that totally consecrates and dedicates his mind to the learning of our Holy Torah, the love for that great and most beautiful wisdom, will overcome and subdue any other feelings and desires.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/13/2021 10:07 PM |
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# 3352 Mixed Feelings
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Q. I'm a graduate from a religious girls school. During several years I took part in a group that would often talk about other companions and we often ended talking Lashon Hora. B'H, during the last months I was able to overcome my desire to belong to that group and actually was able to gain control on myself. I joined a group that deals with the Halachos of Lashon Hora and I'm proud of myself to be able to reach this coming Yom Kippur with the feeling of having done Teshuva.
However, I still have doubts in my mind if I actually did a complete Teshuva. Often in the past when I contemplated my sad situation, I realized that a lot of my desire to see the faults of others and speak about them, had to do with my personal feeling of haughtiness and arrogance and sadly I know that those feelings I have yet to conquer.
My question is at this very important time, when I daven to Hashem for all the Yeshuos needed in this coming year, have I really done proper Teshuva?
A. No doubt that as human beings all of our actions are governed by decisions made by our reasoning mind together with what we call the feelings of the heart.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that a most important part of the Teshuva is the Tikun Hamiddos and fixing what caused and was the source of our mistakes. The Rov quoted from Rishonim, that the change we can accomplish in our Middos is what will bring the change in the Middos that Hashem will impart to us.
Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a pointed out that feelings or 'Middos,' as we often also call them. can be very detrimental and damaging and they can be the cause and source of many faults and sins. Anger, lust, laziness, or haughtiness, just to mention a few of the long list, are indeed the reason and ground for the averos and mistakes we make. Yet, interestingly, as Baalei Mussar and Poskim point out, the feelings by themselves are often not sins, as they can and should be used for the right purposes and mitzvot.
The Rov therefore maintains, that although there is still a great effort needed to be made in accomplishing Tikun Hamidos or the proper fixing of one's character, if one completely stopped committing the avera in question and does not talk anymore Lashon Hora'a, the mitzva of Teshuva itself was accomplished.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/13/2021 9:57 PM |
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# 3351 A Lesson in Teaching
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Q. My brother is a professor at a university in the USA. Among his student. are several not yet observant Jews. Can he ask the administration to find a substitute for the upcoming Yomim Tovim? Or would this be Lifnei Iver? (Placing a stumbling block in front of the blind or encouraging others to do a prohibition). Would it be preferable that he pre-record his lecture to be presented via Zoom on Yom Tov?
Thanks
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is better to just inform the administration he cannot attend to his teaching job during the days of Jewish Holidays and they by their own decision, will do what they usually do and get a substitute. The Rov maintains that pre-recording his lectures to be presented via Zoom on Yom Tov is not recommendable as it can create Maaras Ayn and wrong impressions.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/12/2021 5:29 PM |
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# 3350 A Hard Pill to Swallow
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Q. Is it permissible on Yom Kippur to swallow caffeine pills or pain relief pills without water? Can one use caffeine / aspirin suppositories (before or after the onset of a headache),,?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that during Yom Kippur caffeine pills or pain relief pills should not be used regardless of their covering surface, even without water.
However, one may take before the beginning of the day similar time release pills. (They can also be acquired in the Kollel offices).
One is permitted to use caffeine - aspirin suppositories, before or after the onset of a headache, during Yom Kippur.
(See questions 1175 and 2380).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/10/2021 11:59 AM |
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# 3349 Have Mercy on the Phone?
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Q. My father is in hospital, but he says Selichot every day at the time they are said in his shul. If he can call a friend in the shul and he maintains his cell phone on, can he answer the Thirteen Midos (13 Qualities of Mercy), with everyone else?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that he should not, since the 13 Midos require the actual presence of a minyan, and a contact by phone is not considered as being part of a minyan. (See similar answers in questions: 2644, 1301, 827, 829, 660, 648 and 927)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/10/2021 11:38 AM |
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# 3348 How Sweet!
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Q. Someone who has a very strict diet and he cannot consume any foods that contain sugar, can he deep the apple on Rosh Hashana on a pareve cream that contains sweetener instead of honey and say the Yehi Ratzon for a sweet year?
A. On question 216 regarding someone that has an allergy reaction to pollen and was advised to stay away from bee honey, if he use date honey or maple syrup on Rosh Hashanah, we wrote:
"Throughout the Torah, honey by and large refers to date honey (see Rashi Vaikra 2:11-12, Talmud Kesuvos 111b, Mechilta 13:5), however, as Rashi (ibid.) points out: Any sweet fruit extract is called honey. Nevertheless, some Poiskim write that the preferred honey on Rosh Hashonoh night is bee honey (Nitey Gavriel Rosh Hashono 28:9 quoting Leket Yosher and Midrash Pinchas). Ben Ish Chai (Nitzavim 4) maintains an opposite opinion. Bees, he says, represent Din or judgement since they sting, so date honey or other fruit sweeteners are preferred. Leket Yosher, argues back that bee honey represents the transformation of Din into sweetness.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that if bee honey is to be avoided, one should use date honey. If that is not an option, maple syrup or any other sweet fruit essence is acceptable. In their lack one may use even regular sugar."
In our case Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in need he can use artificial sweetener.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/6/2021 6:25 PM |
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# 3347 Bless the Many
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Q. See question 3346 above - If he happens to be also the Baal Tokea, should he save the brocho of Shecheyanu for the morning, when he blows the Shofar for the whole shul, or is it better to do it as early as possible the night before (Zerizim Makdimin)?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is better to save it for the morning when the brocho is made for all the congregants of the shul.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/6/2021 6:22 PM |
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# 3346 Time to Call it Night?
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Q. Someone bought a new Ta'alis for Rosh Hashana and he want to recite the brocho of Shecheyanu on it on the second night, since many don't make anymore that blessing on fruits that are mostly available all the year. Can he make it then and put on the Taalis in the night?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he can indeed put on the Taalis without saying the brocho on the Taalis since it is night. But he can still recite Shecheyanu on it.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/6/2021 6:19 PM |
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# 3345 A Real Blessing
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Q. I have a very dear childhood friend that married and moved away to a close by town. About six months ago, he contracted Covid and became very ill for months, but B'H he recovered completely and is coming to visit his parent for Rosh Hashana. I invited him for the second night of Rosh Hashana. Can I make the blessing of Shecheyanu we usually recite on a new fruit now on him?
A. Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 225: 1) rules that if one has not seen a friend that is very close and dear to him for thirty days, he should indeed recite the bracha of Shecheyanu. However, Mishna Berura (ibid.) and most Poskim maintain that this bracha is not recited anymore in our times.
Nevertheless, some Poskim rule that if the friend was seriously ill a blessing could be recited. (See Piskei Teshuvos 225: 2: n. 20, 21). Following their opinion a brocho could be recited.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is better to recite the brocho on a fruit and have the friend also in mind
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Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/6/2021 6:15 PM |
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# 3344 Your Undivided Attention
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Q. Is it correct to add more fruits and foods in the night meal of Rosh Hashana to awaken the curiosity of the children and keep them by the meal?
A. It would seem to be that as years go by more fruits and foods are added to the Simanim list. (See question above). Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that Rosh Hashana should not be confused with the Seder Night, in which in order to comply with the mitzva of "Vehigadeta Lebinch" or telling the story of "Yetzias Mitzraim," we need to attract the attention of the children.
The Rov recommends that one should follow the Minhagim and traditions of his family and congregation.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/6/2021 6:13 PM |
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# 3343 Signs of Things to Come?
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Q. Why is it permitted to eat the different fruits and foods on Rosh Hashana and there is no prohibition of following omens when imbuing the Simanim with superstitious powers?
A. Eating the Simanim is an ancient custom but it’s not an obligation like eating matzah and maror at the Seder. The source for the minhag of consuming Simanim in Rosh Hashana is the Talmud in tractate Krisos (6a) and Horios (12a). Abaye says, “Having established that symbolic gestures are significant, on Rosh Hashana one should eat things like gourds, fenugreek, leeks, beets and dates.”
Mefarshim and Poskim explain the permitted reason on doing them and why they are not at all omens or similar.
Maharal (Beer Hagola, Beer Sheni) quotes Ramban (Bereshis 12: 6) saying that when there is a heavenly propitious decree given, we should try to give it an actual physical manifestation, so it takes form and persists. This was also the way of the Neviim. (Melachm 2: 13, Yermiyahu 51).
The Shelah maintains that the reason of the Simanim is to internalize and awaken feelings and consciousness that impart and bring it to life our tefilos and prayers. We use the Simanim as a tool to daven and yearn to Hashem for a good year and to awaken in ourselves feeling of closeness of our Father in Heaven.
Ya'avetz comments that the eating itself, as established by the Yehi Ratzon, creates a new entity of 'Simana Milsa', This is similar to our Sages dictum, that "Dreams follow their interpretation" (Brochos 55b).
Horav Shlomo Kluger (Hagahos Shulchan Aruch) opines that the Simanim are not necessarily venues
for Tefilos and prayers, but rather expressions of our inner thoughts and trust in Hashem and His love for us. (See Ra'abiah 2: 547, Ohr Zarua 2: 257, Kedushas Hayom p. 120)
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Posted 9/6/2021 6:11 PM |
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# 3342 A Call to Order
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Q. We are about to start in the Daf Shiur the tractate of Beitza, but some in our group have suggested to learn instead the next Gemara of Rosh Hashana,since it seems to be right on time now. Can we change the order and learn first Rosh Hashana and then follow with Beitza?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is better not to change, since you will be abandoning the many thousands that learn following the proscribed established order. Our Sages teach "Al tifrosh min hatzibur," or "Do not separate yourself from the many."
Besides, we may add, the number of applicable dafim is rather small and the beginning of Maseches Beitza also applies to Rosh Hashana.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/3/2021 5:20 PM |
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# 3341 Get The Juices Flowing?
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Q. If one cannot get a pomegranate to use as a siman for Rosh Hashanah, can he use pomegranate juice instead and say the yehi ratzon?
A. Piskei Teshuvos (225: 16) quotes Shraga Meir's ruling that one does not recite Shecheyanu on the canned juices of fruits one has not yet consumed on that year, since they may be from previous years.
However, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one can say the Yehi Ratzon - Sheirbu Zechyosenu Kerimon - also on the canned juices.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/2/2021 11:18 PM |
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# 3340 Sweet and Sour Grapes
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Q. I heard that one is not to eat black grapes during Rosh Hashana. but light green are OK. Is that true? Why?
A. HaGra in Ma'ase Rav (quoted in Piskei Teshuvos 583: 8) rules that one should abstain from eating grapes during Rosh Hashana. The reason given (Imrei Shmuel ibid.) is that the Zohar (Bereshis 36a) teaches that the prohibited fruit from the Eitz Hadaas (Tree of Knowledge) eaten by Adam and Chava on the day of their creation that was Rosh Hashana was indeed grapes.
However, Mate Efraim (600: 10), Likutei Mahariach quoting Yitav Leib, Orchos Rabbenu 2: p. 175 quoting Chazon Ish and others permit and mention that Shecheyanu was also recited on them.
Kaf Hachaim (583: 21) maintains that it only applies to black grapes (based on Talmud Brachos 56b) and not to light colored.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one should follow the Minhagim and traditions of his family.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/2/2021 11:14 PM |
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# 3339 A New Beginning
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Q. Someone who is a Baal Teshuva and is celebrating Rosh Hashana first time. Since he has no family traditions as even his great grandparents were not religious he would like to know what to follow. He can investigate the remote sources and origins of his family and there are specialist that with some questionable degree of accuracy may do so.
Second option is that since he has joined an established shul where he is davening. Should he ask the Rabbi to instruct him as to the minhagim and traditions of the congregation and follow them?
His wife is a convert, if she wasn't should he follow her traditions?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he should follow the Minhagim and traditions of the congregation he has joined.
The Rov maintains that if his spouse has her own family traditions, the husband can follow them.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/2/2021 11:11 PM |
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# 3338 Saying it Right
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Q. I'm printing for the use of our Mispalelim in shul the request for the absolution of oaths and promises ceremony done on Erev Rosh Hashana. Which is the correct wording when the Dayanim reply;
'Hakol Icheyu Mutorim Lecho' that translates 'All will be permitted to you,' which is mentioned in many Siddurim and Machzorim or just 'Hakol Mutorim Lecho,' or 'all are permitted to you?'
Is it correct to have translated so everyone can understand what they are saying?
A. Ribebos Efraim (4: 147), Piskei Teshuvos (581: 20: 4), Kovetz Halochos (5:14) and others permit only saying: 'Hakol Mutorim Lecho,' or all are permitted to you.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar. (The Rov pointed out as an example, that this case is alike one at a divorce declaring: 'And you will be permitted to all' in the future tense, instead of present. That may invalidate the divorce).
It is correct to have a translation done, but it should be revised by a competent Rov.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/2/2021 11:08 PM |
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# 3337 Resolving the Promises
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Q. Can Hatotras Nedarim be done for a patient in a hospital using a cellphone? Can that be done for the benefit of a wife too?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in need it can be done for both. See similar ruling in Piskei Teshuvos 581: 18: n. 140).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/2/2021 10:59 PM |
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# 3336 Standing Firm?
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Q. Can someone who has difficulty standing, lean on a shtender during Hatoras Nedarim?
A. Hatoras Nedorim should be done on the onset by the requester standing free (Shach Y.D. 228: 9) and not leaning on anything that if removed would cause him to fall. (See different opinions in Kovetz Halochos 5: 7).
Poskim agree that if one cannot stand on his own, he is allowed to lean or do Hatoras Nedorim even in bed.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/2/2021 10:57 PM |
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# 3335 Supporting the Spouse
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Q. Which is the best way for someone who's wife asked him to be her Shaliach (agent) and represent her at the Hatarat Nedarim (absolution of oaths and promises ceremony) done on Erev Rosh Hashana. Is it repeated for her? How? Can it be done also for a daughter?
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 234: 56, Shach ibid. 70) rule that a husband can be an agent for the Hataras Nedarim of his spouse.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the best and easiest way to carry on this agency is for the husband after the end of his personal Hataras Nedarim act, to inform the Dayanim of the Beis Din that he is also representing his wife as a Shaliach of her. He then just proceeds to ask for the absolution of her Nedarim also. The Beis Din will continue
to declare three times "Mutar Lah" or they are now permitted to her. (See similar ruling in Piskei Teshuvos 581: 19: n. 140)
As mentioned by the Poskim quoted, the above applies only to a wife since 'Ishto Kegufo,' the wife is one with her husband, and does not apply to a daughter.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/2/2021 10:55 PM |
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# 3334 Earning One's Bread
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Q. A lady in Eretz Yisroel that forgot to take off Challah and it's Leil Sukkos (night of Sukkos) and other bread is not available is there any eitza - (solution to eat the bread)?
A. It is proscribed to eat from bread from which Challah has not been separated. Our Sages prohibited separating Challah on Shabbos or Yom Tov, since one is making something previously unfit for consumption become suitable for use, it is therefore similar to fixing a utensil.
Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 323: 1) permits after the fact outside of Eretz Yisroel, to eat the bread before Challah is taken, and to leave over a piece and separate Challah from that which is left over after Shabbos. However, that is not permitted in Eretz Yisroel.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a mentioned that there is a possibility of solving similar problems if an Halacha Authority would separate Challah before Shabbos and Yom Tov for all if needed. But it is not known if this is actually done.
You may be restricted to borrow some bread from a neighbor.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/2/2021 10:50 PM |
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Important Numbers
