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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 4038 An Open Marriage?
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Q. My cousin is my very close and dear friend and so are our families. By Hashem's design, we surprisingly got engaged almost on the same week and to Chassanim that are also very good friends to each other. We are now planing together our weddings, and as it is obvious, making the two weddings together would be a great expenses saver. So we have a number of questions.
1) We know you cannot perform one Chupa for two couples at the same time. We contacted a promising Shul with a nice wedding hall. Can we perform first my Chupa, as we are the oldest couple, followed immediately by the other?
Is there an amount of time for the separation of the two events?
Can the first couple, after proper Yichud has been done, come back and join the second wedding?
A. Rema (Shulchan Aruch E.H. 62: 2) rules that indeed two Chupos can be celebrated during the same day and in the same place, but only one after the other. Even if two separate Chupos would be set, many Poskim maintain that they should not be done at the same time in the same place. Some abstain of doing the above for two brothers altogether. Shulchan Hoezer (2: p.65), Hanesuim Kehilchosom (5: 65) and others.
In principle, there is no set time to separate between the two Chupa ceremonies. However, Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a opinion is that a clear and distinct separation should be done. The Rov recommended that a noticeable group of guest should accompany the first couple after the end of their ceremony and some distinct separating time should also be spent.
The tune or music could also be changed.
The
first couple, after proper Yichud has been done, come
back and join the second
wedding
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/30/2022 9:48 AM |
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# 4037 Kashes on Ashes
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Q. Dear Rabbi Bartfeld, About a half year ago, I asked you the following Shailah. However, you never got back to me with an answer. At the time, you did say that I should send you an email with the question, but I forgot. So here’s the issue:
I have gentile tenants in two rental properties in which these tenants have the ashes of departed loved ones.
In one building, the tenant has the ashes of her cremated husband. In the other, the tenant has the cremated ashes of his parents.
Years ago, I asked another Rav if I can go into the apartments of these tenants to perform my landlord duties. The Rav said it was OK.
However, as I get older, I’m thinking of downsizing, selling the house, and moving into one of the apartments in one of my buildings.
1. As a Cohen, am I allowed to live in an apartment in a building that houses the ashes of gentile deceased person?
2. Am I obligated to tell the Jewish tenants who also live in these buildings, to let them know that there are cremated ashes of humans in the building?
I’m sure that there are similar situations in large apartment buildings like 120 Shelborne and 3000 Bathurst.
Thank you for your response.
A. See question 2895 regarding owning a columbarium for storing the cremation ashes of the Gentile dead and deriving benefit from them, question 2897 on the obligation to bury those ashes and question 3108 on the Johnson & Johnson Coronavirus vaccine that relies on the use of material derived from human fetal tissue. All those are usually permitted in need. In your case the main issue is Tumah for a Cohen, which does not apply to ashes specially from a Gentile's body.
As far as having to tell tenants, they are themselves likely already aware of it.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 12/26/2022 2:49 PM |
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# 4036 Tell all about Nitel
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Q. This coming Sunday is Nitel night (Christmas). I have an old family minhag not to learn Torah during that night. I was invited to a wedding on that night, Is it proper for me to attend?
A. On question 960 regarding getting married on Nitel night we wrote;
"Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that for those that observe the minhag of Nitel, it depends on the rationale behind it. If the reason is the inherent avelus and mourning on a day that caused historically so much pain and tragedy to our people, (Korban Nesanel, Chasam Sofer 2) weddings should be avoided. Nitei Gavriel (Nisuin 1: 48: 18 – Chanuka 5: 4) indeed quotes opinions that some avoid getting married on Nitel night; that being also one reason why we don’t learn Torah on that night, as Torah learning creates simcha and joy.
However, if the motive for Nitel is the habitual Sakana or danger for Jews being in the streets on that night, (Taamey Haminhogim) it may not apply in our days.
Interestingly, Nitei Gavriel (Chanuka 48: 18) rules that even for the people who are stringent in keeping the Nitel traditions the y can get married then.
We must inform you that Nitel is not on the 25th of December, but rather on the night of the 24th. As we wrote on question 3485 as follows:
"Q. This year Dec 25 falls on Shabbos, so Nitel will coincide with Leil Shabbos or Friday night. For some of us who carefully keep the Chassidic tradition of not learning Torah during Nitel night, does it apply also on Shabbos?
A. Nitei Gavriel (Chanuka p. 413, 6: 1) Quotes many opinions that it does for those who keep that tradition, and even the reciting of the Parsha with Targum should be avoided on that night. He mentions that most Tzadikim and Rebbes would not say at their Tish (table) any words of Torah. He writes that it is permitted to sing all Zemiros on this Shabbos.
However, others are lenient since after all Shabbos is a day of protection and the learning of Torah is part of the mitzva of rejoicing on Shabbos.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that although he does not keep the traditions of Nitel, he could understand why those who do, can be lenient during Shabbos.
Horav Dovid Pam’s Shlit’a opinion is similar."
In our year (5783-2022) Nitel will be Motzei Shabbos and the reasoning above may also apply.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it does.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 12/23/2022 12:02 AM |
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# 4035 Look Who's Talking
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Q. See question above. Is it then permitted for a woman to talk on the phone during the half an hour after lighting candles?
A. There are different opinions as to what is the prohibited works women should avoid during the time the Chanuka candles are alight.
Some prohibit only the work that is specially dedicated to women such as knitting, needlework, laundering etc. (Devek Tov, Moed Kol Chai (26: 65) and others. Some Poskim prohibit all works (See Rivavos Efraim 1: 436)
Nitei Gavriel (38: 1) maintains that the common tradition is to be lenient and permit work that would be permitted during Chol Hamoed. Therefore, using a phone is in principle permitted.
However, emphasis should be given not to spend that precious time on the phone while ignoring the lights. A most important part of Ner Chanuka is observing, meditating and understanding the great mitzva in front of us. The 'Pirsumei Nissa' or publicity of the miracle and its meaning is such an essential part of it.
More so, the telephone use should be avoided when that talking may disturb the others present.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 12/22/2022 11:53 PM |
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# 4034 Everything Will Work Out
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Q. What is the reason for the Minhag that women don't do any work during the time of Chanuka candle lighting?
A. Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 670: 1) mentions that the Minhag is for women not to engage in any work while the Chanuka lights are aflame. Mishna Berura (4) mentions that the reason is to emphasize that one should not use those lights for performing any of one's needs.
Levush (O. H. 670), quoted by Kaf ha-Chayim 670, maintains that it is in order to highlight the fact that Chanuka is indeed a Yom Tov, therefore women refrain from doing “work” – as they refrain on Yom Tov - Chol Hamoed – while the lights are burning.
There are two opinions as to the amount of time that women customarily refrain from doing housework. Most Poskim hold that the custom applies only to the minimum length of time that the candles must burn, which is approximately one-half hour after lighting (Mishna Berura ibid 4).
Others, however, maintain that the custom to refrain from work lasts as long as candles are burning anywhere in the community, which may be as late as midnight. (Magen Avrohom 670: 2, quoted by Be’er Heitev 2 and Siddur Ya’avetz). The custom in most communities follows the first view.
Women have always felt a special affinity for the Yom Tov of Chanuka since a woman – Yehudis, the daughter of Yochanan Kohen Gadol – played a prominent role in the defeat of the Greeks.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 12/22/2022 11:52 PM |
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# 4033 Clear the Smoke
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Q. Our large family (we have B'H nine children) are taking Iy'H a trip from Mexico D.F. (City) to Monterrey to visit family there. The trip takes about 14 hours. Since it is during Chanuka, can we light at least one candle in the bus while it is moving? There is a smoking section on the back of the large bus. We likely can do it if we take with us a small metal box, where we can place a candle and we hold it by the window (as it is supported by the frame or other surface). If the bus is moving do we comply with the mitzva?
A. On question 1226 regarding someone vacationing cross country in a trailer, if he can he place his menorah by the window and keep travelling during the half hour, while it is lit, we wrote: "Orchois Chaim (quoted by Beis Yosef O.H. 677), maintains that one sailing in a boat recites a brocho for Ner Chanuka. Although, Rashi (Shabbos 23a) seems to say otherwise, Avnei Yashfa (O.H. 5: 94: 2) explains that the Orchois Chaim refers to someone travelling inside a boat’s cabin.
Horav Tzi Pesach Frank zt”l (Mikroei Kodesh – Chanuka 18) also rules to light on a ship with a brocho. (See Igrois Moishe Y.D. 3: 14: 5 and next question).
Maharsham (4: 146) asserts that one should light Chanuka candles while travelling on a train, since there is no requirement for an established house (diras keva) as you do need for mezuza. Aruch Hashulchan (O.H. 677: 5) also maintains that you recite the brochos while the train is moving. Shearim Metzuyanim Behalacha (3: 139: 13) deduces from the above, that you are also obliged on ner Chanuka when travelling by plane.
See questions 666 and 1212 on this forum as how to comply when flying. See also question 418 about kindling in a car.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one should light the menorah with a brocho when travelling in a camper. If possible, one should stop the vehicle for the half hour of compliance with the mitzva."
In your case, since the bus is also not used even as a temporary home, and besides the enviroment in the smoking section of the bus is not recomended for the children, it is better to ask a friend to light for you and in your name at your home.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 12/22/2022 11:50 PM |
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# 4032 The Weak Wick?
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Q. Kvod Horav Shlit'a. Can one use the threads of old discarded Tzitzis as wicks for Chanuka candles? Is it even recommended to use them as wicks?
A. Talmud Suka (51a) teaches that it was customary to use old and discarded pieces of holy clothing from the Cohanim that were used during the Avoda in the Beis Hamikdosh as wicks for the lights of the Simchas Beis Hashoeva. It is also customary to save and use the Lulav, Hadassim and Arovos that were left over after Sukos for burning the Chometz during Erev Pesach.
See Rema (664: 9) that we save used Arovos and use them to bake matzos. The reason mentioned (Talmud Shabbos 117b) that RavAmi and Rav Asi would make a meal of the bread that was used for an Eiruv, stating since it was used for one mitzva, let us use it for another.
It would therefore seem reasonable to use the discarded threads of Tzitzis as wicks.
An important issue is if the treads made of wool are proper material for wicks. Regarding Shabbos lights Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 264: 1) rules they should not be used as the flame flickers. Yet for Chanuka lights they are permitted. (See Shulchan Aruch 673: 1). Some maintain that they can actually be treated for proper burning.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if indeed they light well they can be used.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 12/22/2022 11:48 PM |
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# 4031 Chanuka Showtime
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Q. See question above. Dear Rov I wonder did you not once wrote that one should avoid using flame-lights of different colors, so why is this case different.
A. Indeed on question 684 we addressed the following Shaila:
"Dear Rabbi, I teach sciences in a frum school. I was teaching about the way you can create a variety of colors in flames by adding different chemicals to the fuel. One of my students was wondering if you are permitted to add them to the oil or the candles of Chanuka. Since the effect is quite attractive and striking, would this be a hidur mitzvah or a greater persumei ness?"
To what we answered:
"Remah (O.H. 673: 1) rules that one should light preferably with olive oil. Mishna Berura (ibid. 4) quotes Mahari Brin (or Bruna) and the Maharal, and explains that the reason is since the miracle of Chanuka occurred with the traditional olive oil used in the menorah of the Bais Hamikdosh, the mitzvah of lighting the candles should resemble the original as much as possible. Eliahu Rabbah (ibid. 2) maintains that this applies even when the olive oil is costly, although other Poskim disagree.
Therefore Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that although the lighting would be acceptable if the flame coloring additives mentioned were to be added, it is preferable to use the most pure olive oil available."
However, in our case it is a single color variation that is common to many metal Menoras.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 12/22/2022 11:45 PM |
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# 4030 Fear No Colors
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Q. I have an old cooper Menorah that has a thick loop of cooper wire on each cup to hold the wick. When I light it the flame, as expected turns greenish. Is that a problem since the flame looses its natural color?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it does not matter and it can be used.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 12/22/2022 11:43 PM |
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# 4029 Sing the Full Praise
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Q. Dear Rabbi. As we spoke I render also religious services at an old age home. I have great concern when the elderly recite Hallel, as they do now during Chanuka and before they begin they say the bracha. Since I understand that even when missing one word of Hallel, if one does not repeat and say it correctly the bracha at the beginning will be rendered in vain (Levatala). Should I not then stop the people of saying that bracha?
A. Indeed Mishna Berura (488: 2 - 3) debates if when a word of Hallel was missed if the brocho recited is considered in vain. Kovetz Halochos (17: 12) and others rule that it is a brocho in vain. and one should be careful not to miss any words of Hallel.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a suggested that you should say aloud the brocho and announce that they listen and comply with it. The Rov added that you should preferably also recite the whole Hallel aloud for them and they should say it together with you.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
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Posted 12/22/2022 11:41 PM |
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# 4028 More Immersing in Immersion
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Q. One who would be extremely uncomfortable immersing in front of others may he immerse in the middle of the night on Erev Shabbes, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur or Yom Tov when the Mikvah is for sure empty?
A. As mentioned in a previous answer already, if the Tevila can't be made on Erev Shabbos or Yom Tov day, in need it can be done on the previous night.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu
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Posted 12/19/2022 7:36 PM |
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# 4027 Be Eidl with the Dreidl
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Q. See question above. Is it permitted to play 'Dreidel' for money?
A. Mishna Berura (322: 22) prohibits playing card games for money. See also Shulchan Aruch (C.M. 62).
Nitei Gavriel (51; 3) rules that even with family members that would forgive the losses, one should not play for money, unless at the end of the game all the monetary wins are returned.
However, he mentions that for just a few coins and very small monetary amounts, people are lenient.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2022 10:46 PM |
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# 4026 The Meaning of the Spinning
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Q. What is the reason and the meaning for kids playing with a 'Dreidl' on Chanuka, Should it be encouraged? Can adults also play?
A. A common reason mentioned by many is that the ancient Greeks forbade studying the Torah, so the people would gather together in secret. If the Greeks interrupted them, they would pull out the dreidels and pretend that they had gathered to gamble. (Minhagei Yeshurun ( 9: 4), Shefa Chaim 2: 283, Taamei Haminhagim and others)
We find that many leading authorities of Ashkenazi Jewry played briefly the Dreidel game, including Chassam Sofer, Rav Meir Mifremishlan, the Tzanzer Rebbe and others (see Miminhagam shel Gedolei Ashkenaz, Chap. 3, no. 8; Siach Sadecha, Ki Tissa p. 164, Nitei Gavriel 51: n. 2).
Peleh Yo’etz (p. 90) also notes that many Rabbonim of Ashkenaz and Chassidic communities played Dreidel during Chanukah, to publicize the miracle.
In Chassidic circles the dreidel was treated with utmost respect, and many authorities write of the secrets latent in it. In his Laws of Chanukah (1:2), for instance, Rabbi Nasan of Breslev writes how the idea of the dreidel is to “descend in order to ascend,” allowing the righteous to reach a unique elevation on Chanukah.
Others explained the nature of the game. The Bnei Yissachar writes that the reason a Dreidel is spun from the top, whereas the Purim gragger turned from the bottom, is related to how each of the miracles were effected. On Chanuka the miracle came from above, directly from Hashem. However, on Purim the miracles were brought about by the actions of Esther, Mordechai and the Jewish people from below.
In a Different Light: The Hanukkah Book of Celebration, writes that a number of rabbis also developed elaborate numerological (Gematria) explanations for the Dreidel game, using the numerical equivalents of the letters on it. For example, the sum of the numerical values of nun, gimmel, hey and shin is 358, which is also the numerical equivalent of the Hebrew letters spelling Moshiach. the Hebrew word for Messiah.
A more simplistic explanation for the adaptation of the custom is suggested by the Aveni Nezer (see Piskei Teshuvos, Vol. 6, p. 463). In his view, the custom evolved from the special atmosphere of Chanukah, when all members of the family get together for lighting the candles so as to publicize the miracle. To ensure that the children would not fall asleep, the dreidel game was canonized as a custom.
Others, have argued that the letters nun, gimmel, hey and shin are supposed to represent the four kingdoms that tried to destroy the Jews in ancient times: N = Nebuchadnezzar (Babylon); H = Haman (Persia); G = Gog (Greece) and S = Seir (Rome).In reality, historians write that the Dreidel is not a Jewish invention, but is instead an adaptation of a centuries-old game played in many cultures.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2022 10:42 PM |
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# 4025 Learning about the Right Teaching
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Q. Dear Rov. I have been teaching for many years now, a very satisfying and self fulfilling Gemora Shiur every night to a group of well learned Baalei Batim of our shul. I have been asked recently to give a Shiur of Hashkafa to an important and larger group of Kiruv people that are trying to become Frum. Since I can't teach both, should I leave the first group ad attend to the second group that involves the great potential of Kiruv?
A. It would seem reasonable that if you assess yourself as being able to be successful and be Mekarev many people, you should try to find someone that can teach your original group and you try to merit the great mitzva of Kiruv, as the end result could be the bringing close to Torah of literally hundreds or even more people.
However, Horav Dovid Pam Shlit'a, Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a are of the opinion that maintaining the proper Torah Shiur takes priority.
Yet, you should see that the proposed Kiruv Shiur is indeed properly taken care of and given by the right trained Rabbi.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2022 10:37 PM |
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# 4024 No Amen to that Amen
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Q. See question above. Is it prohibited to answer Amen in such a case?
A. As we mentioned on question 482 and others, most Poskim maintain that we do not equate an electronically reproduced sound with a natural voice, one who hears a brocho (blessing) by phone, zoom or over a microphone merely knows that it has been recited at that moment, but has not actually heard it.
The case is analogous to the Great Synagogue of Alexandria (described in Sukka 51b), which was so large that many congregants could not hear the leader. In order that they would know when to answer “amen,” someone would wave a banner to indicate that the leader had ended a brocho.As is mentioned in Talmud (Suka 51b) in regards to the flag signals of the well attended Great Synagogue of Alexandria, we do answer amen even when we did not hear at all the recited brocho, as long as we are aware which brocho is being recited.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that under the chupa, where there is a requirement to be yotze with the first two brochos of the Rov, even when the Rov who performs the ceremony is reciting the brochos using a microphone, since he is so close to the Chosson and Kallah and they could hear him clearly anyway, they comply with his blessings, as they do not need the loudspeakers at all.
Minchas Shlomo (1:9) writes that one should not answer Amen to a brocho heard on the phone, and he considers this an Amen Levatolo (a wasted Amen). He explains that in the shul in Alexandria everyone was together in one building, but if one is miles away there is no connection to the person who recited the brocho, therefore amen cannot be said.
Horav Eliashiv zt'l (quoted in Avnei Yoshfeh 1: 9) equates hearing a brocho over a telephone or radio to receiving a telegram that someone will recite a brocho at a certain time. Just as we would never think of reciting amen in such situation, so, too, a zoomer is removed from the brocho recitation and he should not answer Amen.
HoRav Moshe Shternbuch Shlit'a (Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1: 155) similarly rules that one should answer “amen” only when close enough to at least hear the natural voices of other people answering amen to the brocho, but not when hearing it from extremely far away.
Indeed it seems that there is indeed a prohibition of answering Amen in vain as when it is not required.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2022 10:34 PM |
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# 4023 When in Rome do as the Roman's do?
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Q. I am Ashkenazi and belong to a group of Chabad ladies who get together on zoom to say morning brachas and learn. Their tradition is to say amen after each line in the priestly blessing. My minhag is to say kayn yehi ratzon. Is it a problem if I follow their minhag and say amen?
They do not pause to allow others to say Baruch hu Baruch shemo and I was wondering if being on zoom would be a reason to not do it or if it is generally something meritorious to say.
Also, can I still say amen if my microphone isn't working properly and they can't hear me?
A. Regarding learning Torah, Shiurim and celebrating a Siyum even on Erev Pesach on question 531 we wrote that if one learned the Masechta (Talmud tractate) to be finished and is on his way to the siyum he could join the siyum via telephone or online.
However regarding reciting Tashlich via zoom on question 2845 we mentioned: "Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one should not. The reason is that reciting Tashlich requires being next to a body of flowing water, and is similar to other mitzvos, where the presence of the article, place or situation that brings about a blessing or Tefilah, has to be real.
After all one recites a brocho only on real lightning or thunder, Kiddush Levana only when actually seeing the moon and not a picture or reflection of it, or listening to the Megila and answering Keddusha or Kaddish only when the voices are real and present.
In regard to answering the 13 Middos when saying Selichos via zoom on question 3898 we wrote that they should not be recited since; "Usually, any zoom contact does not contribute to mitzvos that require a minyan."
Although, Igrois Moishe (O.H. 4: 91: 4) debates the issue in regards to answering amen for a blessing heard via telephone or loudspeaker. It is practically accepted that one does not. Therefore, one should not answer Amen, Baruch Hu Ubaruch Shemo, Kedusha or Kadish when hearing it by phone, on line or zooming.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2022 10:29 PM |
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# 4022 No More Kissing
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Q. I heard something very astonishing. That a Rabbi during a Torah class said that you should not kiss your children after they have been playing vigorously and hard. Could that really be true? Why?
A. The above is likely based on a rule of Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 116: 4) and Yerushalmi (Terumos 4), that human sweat is deadly poisonous with the exception of the sweat on the face. Taz (ibid 2) mentions as a way for remembering the above the verse (Bereshis 3: 19) "By the sweat of your brow you will eat bread."
Indeed, Psokim Uteshuvos (116: 2) and others quote the above as a source of not kissing the body of a sweating person.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2022 10:28 PM |
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# 4021 A Right Kaddish Wish
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Q. At our shul I noticed that someone at random will usually, but not always, say the kaddish after Aleinu by Mincha even if no one is saying kaddish for a Yahrzeit. Is this correct? Can a Ger say this particular kaddish?
A. Mishna Berura (O.H. 55: 5) quoting Beis Yosef mentions that we recite a minimum of seven Kadeishim every day as mentioned in the verse (Tehilim 119: 164) "Seven times a day I praise You for Your righteous judgments." He mentions that one of the four Kadeishim dedicated to Shacharis is said after Aleinu.
He counts two Kaddeishim for Mincha one said before the Amida. and one after, but no Kaddish after Aleinu.
Poskim mention that one should avoid reciting unnecessary Kadeishim, being in a way similar to repeating unnecessary blessings that is indeed prohibited. However, in practice it depends on the traditions of each congregation and usually a Kaddish is added after Aleinu not only when there is an Avel that recites Kaddish, but also if someone that has that tradition is present and wants to say it.
A Ger can recite this or any other Kaddish as part of the Tefila. However, on question 3761 regarding if a Ger should recite Kaddish for his dear father that did not convert, but was very good and helpful to him, practically from the ‘ Chasidei Umot Haolam’, (righteous of the nations) since in Halacha, once he converted he lost the familiar connection to his father, we wrote: "Z’kan Aharon (2; 86) maintains that although it is for many a surprising tradition, it is proper in such a case to recite Kaddish for his Gentile father, although it is not an obligation.
Mimamakim (3: 8) deals with reciting Kaddish for a non-Jewish woman, that saved the life of many persecuted during W.W.11.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that a Ger should not recite this Kaddish for his father"
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2022 10:26 PM |
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# 4020 Get Your Act Together
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Q. Last year we were travelling during Chanuka and stayed in a hotel on the road one night. We took a Menorah but some of our olive oil spilled. We had B'H a box of candles. In that case is it better to use the oil for some lights of the Menorah and the rest use candles, or should we have used on that night only candles?
A. Be'er Heitev (673: 1) quotes Sh'vus Yaakov (1: 37) who maintains that one should avoid lighting a Menorah partially with oil and partially with candles as it may appear that two different people used that Menorah. See also Nitei Gavriel (18 :21)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/11/2022 6:02 PM |
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# 4019 A Vote on Thanks?
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Q. See question above; Do I have to say Hagomel and also give a Seudas Hodoah?
Can I avoid telling others what happened to me? I don't want my wife and kids to worry. (that is why I'm sending these Shailos to you. My family as opposed to me, don't read any Ask the Rabbi)
A. On question 10 regarding when to recite Hagomel we wrote: "In Shulchan Aruch O.CH. 219,9 and Mishna B'erura 32, the Halacha dictates that we should recite Hagomel when encountering and experiencing a factual and real danger, and being saved from it even if the deliverance was not seen as a miracle, such as a wall falling on someone or an incident with dangerous armed robbers. See also Piskei Teshuvos ibid. and 318, 10.
Harav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a is of the opinion that if someone is indeed in a car that spins out on the highway and miraculously does not get hit by another car, he does not recite this Brocho, however if he did hit the guardrail and there was damage done to the vehicle he should bless Hagomel.
In our case Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam and Aharon Miller Shlit'a maintain that following the above no Hagomel brocho should be recited. However, one may say it without Hashem's name, or join someone reciting that brocho and ask him to have you in mind.
As far as telling others it can and should be avoided, so not to cause pain to the family.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/8/2022 10:24 PM |
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Important Numbers
