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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 4058 Hope Against Hope
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Q. A young single friend of mine during one of the storms, was tending to his small boat bringing it in from the soaring sea waves. Tragically, the wind was so strong that he was pulled into the sea and was lost. After some days of search by the Coast Guard, air patrols and even the Navy, they gave up.
The parents and brothers want to know, if they have to sit Shiva and recite Kaddish and when should they start.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that since he was not married, they can start Shiva and the rest of the mourning practices and traditions when the family also gives up and believes the young relative drowned.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/5/2023 10:54 PM |
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# 4057 Hair lost by a Hair
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Q. My daughter got married and the marriage went wrong from the start, about a few days later she separated and then got divorced. Is she obligated 'Al Pi Halacha' (following Halacha) to still cover her hair?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that she should cover her hair.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/5/2023 10:52 PM |
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# 4056 A Hot Water Situation
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Q. On Shabbos may one eat matza while holding a K'li Sheini (secondary vessel) of hot water even though some crumbs fall inside during the meal? May one drink the water of a K'li Sheini while chewing matza?
A. Horav Dovid Pam Shlit'a maintains that it depends on a number of factors.
Firstly, how hot is the water? Since after all he is drinking it. If it is bellow 40 - 45 degrees (see questions 3578-89 and 3693), there is no concern.
Besides, verify if it a P'sik Reisha or certainty that some crumbs are going to fall inside the hot water or not. If not since there is no intention to have the matza pieces fall into the hot water (Dovor Sheino Miskaven), it would be permitted when there is some doubt.
One may drink the water of a K'li Sheini while chewing matza.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/5/2023 10:50 PM |
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# 4055 The Yohrzait Right Night
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Q. If someone has Yohrzait on Asara Beteves and wants to make a Siyum, should he make it on the night of Assara Beteves, or maybe in the night after the fast ends?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he should make the Siyum on the night before, since it is after all the day of the Yohrzait.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/5/2023 10:48 PM |
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# 4054 Take Real Care
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Q. One who is assisting in carrying a wheelchair bound invalid up or down a flight of stairs and while doing so a Siddur or Sefer falls on the floor. Is it correct to leave it lying in disgrace until he finishes dealing with the invalid as otherwise it maybe could be a Sakana (danger) to let go of the wheelchair? What happens if it only looks like danger to others but it really isn't. Should one also refrain?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the safety of the wheelchair patient trumps over any other mentioned consideration. Since after all, he is assisting in carrying a wheelchair bound invalid up or down a flight of stairs, that and any other even minor concern to the safety of the patient takes precedence.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/5/2023 10:46 PM |
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# 4053 Back to Egypt?
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Q. We have a group that plans to spend next Pesach in Yerushalaim. They are also planning to take a tour of three days in Egypt while visiting many relevant places before arriving for Pesach in Yerushalaim. What is Horav Miller's opinion. Thanks you.
A. Although Poskim disagree regarding if it is permitted to settle in Egypt in our contemporary days, there seems to be some agreement that is no problem with just traveling to Egypt for a visit. (See Talmud Yerushalmi, Sanhedrin, end of the Ch. 10; Radvaz, Commentary on Rambam, Kings, 5, 7, 8; Heichal Yitzchok E.H. 1: 12; Yehave Daas 3: 81 and others).
Many great Tzadikim and leaders have also visited Egypt. (See Even Sapir 20: 1.2 and others).
In your particular case, a caveat should be mentioned since the days before Pesach are singled out for the essential preparation towards this most important Yom Tov.
Therefore, if the purpose of this 'Tour' is to visit the places that carry historical and religious meaning, and is a part of a Torah teaching or inspired Kiruv activity, it would be welcomed. Otherwise, it should be avoided.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/5/2023 10:43 PM |
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# 4052 At your Earliest Convenience
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Q. I usually keep a day Taanis as Assarah Beteveth is, from the second or later time for Alos Hashachar (daybreak and beginning of the day) mentioned in the Luach. As you and others mentioned Assarah Beteveth is more severe than other fast days. Should I then begin the Ta'anis from the earlier time? Please send a prompt answer. Thanks
A. There may be indeed a greater reason to be stringent on this particular Taanis, as mentioned in the questions above.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a added that he keeps the early Alos time during all fast days.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/5/2023 10:40 PM |
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# 4051 Joy to Behold
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Q. See question above. Is there a better way to do the Sheva Brochos on that night?
A. As mentioned above, some Poskim are stringent on Asara Beteves more than other Fast Days, as we wrote on question 1973 and1566 regarding being machmir to fast on Asarah Beteves more than another Taanis and therefore, even someone who because of age and weakness does not fast besides Yom Kipur and Tishaa Beav, should fast on Asara Beteves, we wrote: “Beis Yosef (O.H. 550) quotes Avudraham’s opinion that if Asara Beteves was to occur on Shabbos we would fast on that day, since it is similar to Yom Kippur in which the pasuk mentions “Beetzem Hayom Haze” (Yechezkel 24).
Toras Chaim (550: 4), wonders why Bais Yosef would mention the above detail since it does not have a practical difference, as this fast day cannot according to our luach coincide with Shabbos. He explains that it may be for the purpose of being more stringent on this Taanis than others and other prohibitions, such as washing also apply. He mentions that his own father, the Machane Chaim, on the end of his life, when he was very weak and was not supposed to fast, he forced himself to do so on Asarah Beteves.
Biur Halocho (551: 1) mentions that some maintain in Asara Beteves the stringency of the Nine Days.
Bnei Isoschor (Teves14) explains that this fast day marks the very beginning of the Churban and all the days of Avelus that we maintain, and is therefore more severe and strict.
However, in practice many Poskim maintain that one does not have to be more rigorous than in other fast days (Shulchan Aruch and Mishna Berura 550:1, Maharam Mibrisk 3: 29, Nitei Gavriel Chanuka 60: 3 et. al.)
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.”
In this particular case, the Rov’s opinion is also that one should treat Assarah Betevets like the other day Taanesim."
In your case, there may be additional leniency when the Sheva Brochos begins during the day before the Shekia (sunset). You would have to wash and begin the Seuda at that time. Altough, in our latitudes it would be around 4.30 PM, and as you told me the Sheva Brochos is called for 8.30 PM, however Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is
that if you can summon ten people and was early it would be beneficial.
Therefore, as you told me you have B'H a large family at home, you may want to complete a Minyan at home and daven Mincha and then wash already for the Sheva brochos, before the Shekia. You will have to have those attendants eat some bread during the in between hours to avoid a Hefsek or separation of the parts of the Seuda.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/5/2023 10:38 PM |
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# 4050 Eyes on the Feast
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Q. Dear Rov Shlit'a. As we spoke already, we are planing to make a Sheva Brochos for a dear family member on the night of Asara Beteves. Since the Taanis begins in the morning. Is what we are doing correct?
A. On question 957 in regard to attending a wedding or a Sheva brochos with music on the night prior to the fast of Asara Beteves, we wrote:
"Bais Avi (3,2,6) writes that the minhag is not to make weddings on the night of the Tenth of Teves since in reality the Ta’anis has already began but the prohibition to eat is only from the morning.
Ratz Katzvi (16) maintains that on this taanis a baal nefesh should begin fasting from the night before. Weddings should therefore be avoided on that night.
However, other Poskim are more lenient (Even Pina O.H. 45, P’ri Hasade 1: 2, Yavia Omer 6: 7, Tzitz Eliezer 7: 49). Although Halichos Shlomo (2: 18: 5) rules that one should not have a wedding on the night prior to a day fast, with the exception of Taanis Esther, he permits in need on the night prior to Asara Beteves (ibid. n. 21).
Da’as Torah of the Maharsham (551: 2) advises that although the Chupa is permitted, one should abstain from dancing on Asara Beteves.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in principle and by the letter of the Halacha, it is permitted to have a wedding or Sheva Brachos with music on the prior night of the Ta’anis. However, when possible one should be stringent. (He pointed out to the Sdei Chemed – Ma’areches Choson Vekalo p. 21-22)”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/5/2023 10:35 PM |
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# 4049 Zoom In or Out?
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Q. Can one comply properly with the mitzva of Bikur Cholim by zooming contact with a patient, either by contacting him by phone or computer. Besides, there is so much time being saved when one does not have to be there in person and therefore so many more people can be visited. Is that not a better option?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is in principle a correct act to do if it makes the patient feel better and it is at least part of the most important mitzva of Bikur Cholim.
However, the Rov added, the proper way to comply with this greatest of mitzvos, is only by personal contact. Firstly, because a most important part of this great deed, is praying for the ill, and the Shechina is present at the head of that particular bed.
Additionally, one has to identify and feel the pain and the needs of the ill, to be able to share with and provide true comfort, right advice and the much needed empathy. No zooming can replace the link and relationship created by direct eye contact.
Furthermore, to really give the desired wishes and meaningful brochos for Refuah Shleima, one has to truly feel the pain and suffering of the patient, as if it was one's own, and for that to be truly achieved, one has to be there.
For all the above reasons you truly need to be present
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/5/2023 10:33 PM |
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# 4048 Have a Good Year!
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Q. See question above. Does the greeting to Gentiles that you mentioned is permitted to have then in mind that you are addressing and saluting Hashem, apply also to the season's greetings like New Year and Happy Holidays?
A. Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a maintain that it does not apply yo New Year and other season's greetings, as it seems obvious.
However, a posuk in Tehilim (87: 6) mentions that "Hashem Yispor Biksov Amim or He counts in the script of the nations." One of the interpretations of that verse was given by the Magid of Mezeritch zt'l, that to the great wonder of his many disciples would bless them during the Gentile's New Year with a brocho of Leshono Tovo or have a Good Year. He would explain to his very surprised spiritual elevated Talmidim, that during our day of Judgment Rosh Hashana, our Nation is accused by the Celestial Court of only repenting and doing Teshuva out of fear of what the future may bring and not for the true love to Hashem.
What does Hashem do then, he withholds the very final judgment and giving of the sentence until the Gentile's New Year. Then with the company of the Celestial Court He visits the places where many Gentiles celebrate their New Year, and to the dismay of the court, they observe the drinking, drug use and the often real depravity partying and even orgies involved. Then Hashem tells the court, you see now the difference? Let's now pass judgment on the Jewish Nation and bless them with a true Shana Tova a "Good Year." The Magid explained that is why Hashem counts to the Year of the Nations and then decides to bless us with a "Good Year" as he is also doing.
In that sense, the words of the Igro D'Pirko and Chida mentioned, would also apply to our common New Year greetings.
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Posted 1/1/2023 7:10 PM |
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# 4047 Reason's Greeting
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Q.I was told that one may have in mind when greeting a Gentile that one is greeting Hashem instead. Is that true?
A. Igro D'Pirko (O.H. 165) mentions that indeed in the above mentioned cases it is permitted to greet and have in mind addressing and saluting Hashem and it is not considered being deceitful.
Chida (Shiurei Brocho 148: 6) quotes as an evidence the Talmud (Nedarim 62b) regarding one Talmid Chacham in need stating that he is a servant of the 'Master of Fire' when he means Hashem, although the questioning Gentiles interpret it as Avoda Zarah.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 1/1/2023 5:59 PM |
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# 4046 No Party to this Party
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Q. Can I attend a New Year party given by the company and my coworkers. It is very necessary for me to attend to maintain good relations with all my friends at work. Can it be done?
A. On question 694 we wrote:
"Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that one may attend for a short while, however only soft drinks are permitted and no liquor or alcoholic beverages should be consumed in their company. (Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 114: 1. See also Aruch Hashulchan ibid. and Shevet Halevy Y.D. 43, in regards to expensive drinks.)"
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/30/2022 10:31 AM |
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# 4045 Forget and Forgive
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Q. An ill patient before Alos Hashachar or the beginning of the day contacted the Toronto Kolel and being very distressed wanted to know since he couldn't (or forgot) to put on Tefilin on the day before, if there is something he could still do.
A. Some Poskim maintain that one can don Tefilin even during the night, as when one gets up early before he travels and won't go to sleep anymore. See Igrois Moishe( O.H. I: 10) and Teshuvos V’hanhagos I: 49).
Therefore, in order to calm down the distressed patient. one may suggest that he dons Tefilin then.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/30/2022 10:27 AM |
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# 4044 Cast Some Light into Light
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Q. I heard during a shiur that the Yom Tov of Chanuka is the continuation and end of the days of Teshuva that began on Elul and Kapparah or forgiveness can still be reached until the end of Chanuka. Is that true?
A. Indeed Toldos Aharon (Miketz), Bnei Ysoschor, Tzemach Dovid (quoted by Iturei Torah p. 136). and others maintain that it is so. Some quote the posuk (Yeshayahu 23: 9) "Bezos Yechupar Avon Yaakov," namely, that the sins of Yaakov will be redeemed on "Zos" or on the last day that carries the title of "Zos Chanuka."
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/30/2022 10:24 AM |
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# 4043 Some Sense Talk
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Q. In many circles a new tradition is being used when organizing a Simcha meal, as a Siyum, Sheva Brochos, Chanuka, Purim, Chanukas Habais and similar and that is not to have one Rov saying a long speech that few people listen too in our days of fast mind and unsettled ways.
They rather ask a few Rabbonim to say small speeches or strong vorts (five minutes or so maximum) instead. The result is people pay much more attention and also we end honoring more Rabbonim. What is Horav Miller's Shlit'a opinion to this new changes?
A. The Rov maintains that it depends on the group and on the occasion. In ordinary cases if a good professional and well known speaker was engaged, just listening to him on a full speech or lecture is what is required and needed and should be carried out.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/30/2022 10:20 AM |
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# 4042 Kashes on Ashes II
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Q. See question 4037 above regarding ashes of gentile deceased person stored in a home, and that Cohanim don't have to be concerned. Why should they not be concerned that the ashes belong to a Jewish person, since it is not uncommon for irreligious people to also cremate their deceased close relatives (also to save cost) and maintain them with them. Then the prohibition of Tuma for Cohanim should apply?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a opinion is that since the bodies were cremated and the burnt bones were crushed and ground into a powder, even if they belonged to Jewish individuals, those ashes don't carry a Tuma that prohibits Cohanim to be under the same roof.
See also Mareh Habozok (5: 102) that deals with the question of entering a monument Ohel Izkor that honors the ashes of Kedoshim and martyrs and victims of the Second World War or other victims, and permits the Cohanim to enter since the burnt bones are totally ashes.
See also Pischei Teshuva (Y.D. 369: 2) and Chelkas Yaakov (Y.D. 217) for similar rulings.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/30/2022 10:14 AM |
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# 4041 A Convenience Marriage
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Q. If the two groups, in order to give Kivudim and honor their own relatives and close ones with a brocho, want to separate for the Birchas Hamazon, what should they do?
A. Poskim advice that in such a case, one of the Chasanim should temporarily leave the room while one set of brochos is recited. Once finished, he should reenter and have the second set of Sheva Brochos recited for him.
Sovea Smochos (1: n. 150) mentions that Ponim Chadoshos or new invites may be required for the second set also.
(See Hanesuim Kehilchosom 14: 92).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/30/2022 10:11 AM |
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# 4040 A Marriage Made in Heaven?
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Q. See questions above. How are Sheva Brochos recited when two couples made the seuda together?
A. Rema (E.H. 62: 3) rules that when the seuda was eaten by the two groups on the same hall or room, one set of Sheva Brochos should be recited for both couples when they ate together.
Even if they are not in the same room but the groups can see each other they are considered one group and one set of blessings is recited for both. More so, even if they don't see each other but there are served together by one set of waiters, Poskim consider them as a single group, and only one set of Sheva Brochos is said. (Sovea S'mochos 1: 27, Hanesuim Kehilchosom 14: 91 and others.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/30/2022 10:05 AM |
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# 4039 Dancing at Two Weddings
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Q. See previous question. Can the banquet be celebrated together? The dancing? Carrying both Chassanim during dancing also?
A. It is permissible to celebrate the two Seudos together and to dance jointly. (Darkei Moshe 62: 3) Hanesuim Kehilchosom (5: 65) and others.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a
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Posted 12/30/2022 10:00 AM |
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Important Numbers
