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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 4517 Mixed Blessings
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Q. Kavod Harav, I made a bracha on chocolate and had in front of me prune juice. However, I mistakenly thought the prune juice is grape juice until I picked it up to make a bracha. Does it require a bracha even though it was in front of me since it is as if I had intent not to include it since I was mistaken about its identity.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if you had in mind to eat more of the food that requires a shehakol brocho, you don’t have to make a brocho on it, since after the fact the shehakol brocho also exempts all liquors you wanted to consume or foods to eat including wine.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/2/2023 7:57 PM |
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# 4516 Intent and Redempt
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Q. When a father makes the Pidyon Haben for his first born son does he have to have a special Kavana or intention to comply with the mitzva? How about the Cohen?
A. It is commonly known that there are three mitzvos that require an added special Kavana or intention to keep in mind when performing them, besides the complying with the basic mitzva itself.
They are: Tzitzis, as the Torah writes: “In order that you shall recall my mitzvos and do them” (Bam’. 15 : 40); Tefillin, as mentioned (Shem’. 13: 9) “In order that the Torah shall be in your mouths”, and Sucah, as written; “In order that you recall the redemption from Egypt when Hashem caused you to dwell in clouds of glory (Vayikra 23:43). Since the word “l’ma’an” - meaning ‘because’ or ‘in order that,’ the Torah explicitly indicated the purpose of the mitzva, and one must have intention not only for complying with the act of the mitzva itself but also with the reason mentioned.
Although, Derech Pekudecha (18) maintains that one does not comply with the above three mitzvos if one does not have in mind the added kavana, most Poskim disagree, and opine that although one did not abide with the mitzva properly, after the fact one complied.
P’ri Megadim (Mishbetzos Z’ 8) added to the above list also the mitzva of Pidyon Haben for a first born son.
As is written; (Shemos 13: 13); And every firstborn donkey you shall redeem with a lamb, and if you do not redeem [it], you shall decapitate it, and every firstborn of man among your sons, you shall redeem. And it will come to pass if your son asks you in the future, saying, "What is this?" you shall say to him, "With a mighty hand did Hashem take us out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. And it came to pass when Pharaoh was too stubborn to let us out, Hashem slew every firstborn in the land of Egypt, both the firstborn of man and the firstborn of beast. Therefore, I slaughter [for a sacrifice] all males that open the womb, and every firstborn of my sons I will redeem.
Although, Shebet Halevy (6: 169) disagrees, it is certainly better to follow on the onset the opinion of the Pri Megadim.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/2/2023 5:38 PM |
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# 4515 - Great Grand Life Blessing
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Q. Does a grandfather recite a Shecheheyanu when seeing first time his great grand son?
A. Biur Halocho (223: 1) debates whether a brocho should be recited for the birth of a
grandson since he won’t necessarily provide the aid, help and service that a son would.
K’tzos Hashulchan (64) maintains that the first time a grandfather sees his grandson, he should recite the brocho as one would in principle when seeing a friend after a while of separation. (See Piskei Teshuvos 223 n. 15).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in principle he can as his joy is great, however, it is better if he also eats a new fruit of that year or similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/2/2023 5:30 PM |
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# 4514 The Law of the Letter
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Q. I was matched up with a guy from across the sea. He wants to come to Toronto to meet me and see if we are compatible. He wants to know what documents to bring, in case we want to get married. He is divorced so he knows he will need a copy of his get. He was born Jewish so there are no conversion papers. What else would he need in terms of a civil marriage?
A. The customary procedure is to obtain from the Beth Din or a recognized and accepted Rabbi of his city, that knows him and his family well, a dated letter or document usually named ‘Hetter Nissuim,’ (permission to get married). That document officially mentions the above and all necessary information and conditions.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/2/2023 5:18 PM |
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# 4513 Rabbis First
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Q. Someone travelling by car and about to enter or exit a parking lot realizes that next to him and also waiting to enter is a Rabbi driving next to him, does he have to honor him and give the right to go first? Does it matter if the parking lot is of a Yeshiva or institution? How about when driving in a street?
A. Chashukei Chemed (Brochos 47a) deals with the question and since the Halacha rules that we do give honour when walking on the streets (Tos. Shabbos 51b), he presumes that the same applies to driving in a car.
However, he also mentions that travelling in a car may be considered as being in a separate ‘Reshus” or entity. He remains in doubt.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/2/2023 1:29 AM |
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# 4512 Shtik or Treat
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Q. Dear Rabbi. In our troublesome days, when we experience such a rise in hate to Jews so and plain antisemitism encouraged by Muslims, should we engage in the costumes of Halloween that in a wide sense promote friendliness and human friendship?
A. On question 1485 and 3956 regarding a person who is a partner and in charge of a number of large apartment buildings in which there are also some tenants who are Jewish, should he permit as is customary for the Super to give or to place trays of candies for the children of the building that the company pays for, to enjoy during Halloween, if that permitted in Halacha, we mentioned: “We have some Modern Orthodox neighbors that let their kids join the others in the block (many Jewish) and go around collecting candies on Halloween, is that permitted? Should we advise them not to do it? Can we give children that ring our bell candies? To what we answered:
“Halloween is a shortening of All Hallows’ Evening, also known as Allhalloween, or All Saints’ Eve, is a festivity observed in a number of countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows’ Day. It begins the three-day observance dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the faithful departed. It is widely believed that many Halloween traditions originated from ancient pagan Celtic harvest festivals, particularly the Gaelic festival Samhain, and was Christianized as Halloween by the early Church.
Today’s Halloween customs, are a combination of Celtic, Roman and Christian holidays. In essence, Halloween is not a secular holiday. Halacha prohibits celebrating gentile holidays (Remah Y.D. 178: 1). Even though some gentile holidays today may not be considered idol worship, the law which commands us not to behave in the customs and manners of the gentiles, still applies.
Therefore, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is to refrain from letting children join others on their Halloween traditions.
However, if there is an issue of Chilul Hashem, the Rov maintains that you may give candies to the children that visit you.” Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if the Super is doing the distribution and if the refusal to give out those candies would cause feelings of resentment and rancor against the Jewish owners of the building and thus also a Chilul Hashem, it is permitted.
In our troublesome days, if it can promote goodwill and friendship with others, it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/31/2023 5:42 PM |
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# 4511 Buried and Alive
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Q. We recently received the following Shaila from a dear friend of my old country (Mexico) who made Aliya many years ago and sends me occasional yet important Shailos.
As Mazel goes, one of his children’s family settled in the south and a few ended Nebach being captured recently by Hamas, Yimach Shemom, Reshaim. They were saved and released by our Tzahal’s Tzadikim. Yet one child about seven years old could not be found.
Miraculously he was found days later, underneath a big concrete floor plate of a collapsed building. The soldiers saw he was wearing Tzitzis and decided to carry the body to his grieving family. As a soldier picked him up, he incredibly felt a very weak pulse, and yes after likely close to three days, he was still by Hashem’s miracle alive! (He asked me not to mention his name, as they stick to privacy.)
A. Of course, the family got together to perform a private Seudas Hoda’ah as required. His Shaila was, does the kid have to bench Goimel or do the parents bench for him?
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that reciting the Goimel bracha is not recited. The reason is that the text of the bracha is Hagomel l’chayavim Tovos,” and since a child is not a chayav or guilty yet, children don’t recite this bracha, and hence neither do the parents.
Yet, as you mentioned a Seudas Hoda’ah should be served to publicly express thanks to Hashem for the miracle Hashem did for you (See Magen Avrohom 219: 1). Yet some Poskim maintain that a minor does recite Hagomel.(Shaarei Teshuva 219: 1, Lachamei Todah, and others.)
The main principle is there, we recite thanks to Hashem when we truly understand the gift of life and salvation given.
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Posted 10/29/2023 10:27 AM |
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# 4510 The Voice of the College of your Choice
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Q. Can someone that follows the Torah and Halacha continue to attend a college, where like most others, the majority of the professors and teachers are antagonistic to our Holy Torah values and side with the terrorist Muslim and Chamas? (He needs the college education for making a living).
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the question is of course not new and the traditional ways should be observed carefully.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/26/2023 11:42 PM |
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# 4509 The State of the Real Estate
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- Q. Dear Rabbi Shlit’a. As we spoke and you asked me to send this as a written question. Here it is. I deal with real estate and building houses and I have also used for many years a Real Estate Agent that has an Arabic name. Recently, when I tried to reach him for completing an agreement we signed already, since I didn’t have my own phone with me, I googled his name to contact him, and surprise! Surprise!!! I saw on line a terrible and most disgusting number of his recent anti Semitic articles and also his taking part in anti-Israel activities during the recent Hamas conflict. Should I still continue ending the agreement or just plainly avoid all contact with him. I stand to loose a significant amount if I break the contract. What is the correct thing do?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that you do not have to loose any capital over this now, yet avoid dealing with him in the future.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/26/2023 11:24 PM |
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# 4508 Great Greatly Great Gut Guitar
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Q. If someone bought a new expensive great guitar, he uses for playing during simches, does he recite Shecheyanu or Hatov Vehameitiv?
A. On question 3759 regarding reciting Shecheyanu bracha when a new Sefer Torah is donated and introduced to the Shul, we wrote; “Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it may be proper to recite the blessing of Hatov Vehametiv in such a case, since many will benefit from it.”
Similarly on question 103 on buying a car we wrote: “Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that since this car will presumably be used by other members of the family too, the correct brocho to be recited would be Hatov Vehameitiv, (as more than the buyer will benefit from it) and not Shechecheyanu, (see Igrois Moishe O. H. 3: 80)
However, in our case the Rov maintains that the brocho should be Shechecheyanu,
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/26/2023 10:48 PM |
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# 4507 Partial B’ahav Love?
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Q. See question above. Is there value to fasting until chatzos on B’ahav and or diminishing food in ones meals?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that there is even if one does not join a minyan for Selichos. However not only the learning should be maintained but the right intentions mentioned.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/26/2023 10:39 PM |
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# 4506 B’ahava to B’ahav?
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Q. See question above. Is there value to fasting until chatzos on Bahav and or diminishing food in ones meals?
A. Maseches Sof’rim ( 21) mentions that there were talmidim who fasted on a Monday, Thursday, and following Monday in the month of Nisan. However, it is clear that this was a private practice which was not publicized.
Tur (O.H. 492) mentions the custom of Ashkenazim to fast in Cheshvan and Iyar. In later generations, this custom spread to some Sephardic communities. (Kneses Hagedola 492)
Some explain that the reason for the fasts is in case one sinned over the long Sukkot or Pesach holidays, and others say that it should be for an atonement before the raining and harvest seasons. The days of Monday and Thursday were chosen because they are considered days of extra mercy from Heaven.
Following the Mishna Berurah (492: 3), the fasts should always be on the first Monday, Thursday, and following Monday, following the first Shabbos after Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan and Iyar. However, some communities have the custom to delay the fasts in Cheshvan until the end of the month. Since Shavuot is only one day (or two days in the Diaspora), there is less of a concern that one sinned, and there was no widespread custom to fast after Shavuos. Nevertheless, there have been individuals who fasted on a Monday, Thursday and Monday after Shavuot.
Traditionally, on the Sabbath preceding these fasts, a special Mi Shebeirach is recited for those who intend to fast.[6] Most communities recite this Mi Shebeirach before returning the Sefer Torah to the Ark, but some (generally Western European communities) add it as an additional line to the Mi Shebeirach recited for the community (after Yekum Purkan). One who responds "Amen" to this blessing does not need to accept the fast upon oneself at the Mincha of the proceeding day.
While today few people fast, there are many communities which say selichos.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/26/2023 10:34 PM |
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# 4505 Have the B’ahav
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Q. What is the meaning and source for some congregations and people keeping a fast day or reciting Selichos during ‘Bahav.’ firstly, what does ‘Bahav’ mean?
A. There are several minor customary fast days, that are not universally observed, and some include: "Bahav," literally an acronym for "Monday, Thursday, Monday" and are the Monday, Thursday, and the following Monday in the months Cheshvan and Iyar, after the end of Pesach and Sukos.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/26/2023 10:27 PM |
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# 4505 Peace With the pizza
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Q. What bracha should be said on pizza? Does it matter what kind of pihe Pizza it is or how much one eats? What does Horav Miller recommend?
A. pies are one form of pas haba’ah b’kisnin, and the bracha is Mezonos. Similiarly, dough filled with jam (such as a hamentaschen) is a classic example of pas haba’ah b’kisnin. The bracha on calzones and the like, filled with cheese or meat (known as “pashtida” in the language of the poskim), is not as clear. A fruit pie is a Mezonos because it is a dessert item, while calzones are often intended to be the main meal and not dessert.
Although the Taz (168:20) rules that the bracha on calzones is Mezonos, the Shulchan Aruch (168:17), and Mishna Berura (168:94) rule that the bracha is Hamotzi. However, the Biur Halacha states that many Achronim agree with the Taz, and if the calzone is clearly not meant as a main-meal type of food, the bracha is definitely Mezonos. Rav Belsky, zt”l said that it is unclear whether pizza is a snack or meal food, but noted that the general custom is to say Mezonos when eating a small amount.
It should be noted that if the pizza dough is fully baked prior to adding the cheese (as is the case with some frozen Pizzas) the bracha would be Hamotzi. When the dough is baked alone, its status at that time is Hamotzi, and that does not change when a filling is added.
The question of the bracha on pizza is most complicated and will be addressed IY’H b’n in the next future shailos.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/26/2023 10:14 PM |
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# 4504 Scratching About Scraching
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Q. Horav Kalman Ochs Shli’ta wrote regarding two of the following shailos last week.
Question 4456: “If someone who is careful during Shabbos not to even scratch his hair or ruffle his beard as a precaution for not tearing his hair similar to avoid combing. Can he use during the very cold and windy days of winter a cap or a tight headgear, since it may also involuntarily tear some hair? How about a regular hat that is tightly placed over one’s head
To what we answered; “Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is to be lenient since you do not have any intention or benefit of tearing any hair and it is also not a necessarily outcome.”
Horav Kalman Ochs Shli’ta maintains that if it is a guaranteed P’sik Raysha to pull hair he shouldn’t wear it.
On question 4458; If a Shul or institution have to inform the attendants that they are being taped by security cameras? Does it make a difference if it is during Shabbath or not?
To what we answered: “Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one does not have to notify the attendants of being taped by security cameras as it is common and an accepted factor everywhere in our days.”
Horav Kalman Ochs Shli’ta maintains that “those who follow the p’sak of HoRav Elyashiv not to pass motion activated cameras should be notified.”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/26/2023 9:59 PM |
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# 4503 The Best of all Months
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Q. My family is planing to erect the Matzeiva of our grandfather A’H who died during the month of Cheshvan, in the near future.
What is most correct when writing the date; to name the month as Cheshvan or MarCheshvan?
A. Rema (Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 126: 70) mentions that ”Marcheshvon” should be written with only one letter ‘Vov’.
Kav Noki and Nachlas Shiva (they are the accepted guides for the writing of divorces and Ketubos) quote the month as Marcheshvan, and it is usually the way the month is written in those official documents.
In regards to the adding of the prefix ‘Mar’ to Cheshvon, there are two opposite thoughts and explanations.
Some communities have the tradition of not celebrating any weddings on this month. Sdei Chemed (Ma’areches Chassan Vekalah) mentions that the added prefix of “Mar” or bitter is due to the sadness due to the fact that there are no festivities and Yamim Tovim in this month. Also adding that it is the month when Sarah Immenu passed away
However, Nitei Gavriel (1; 48 p.304) mentions that it is a most important month since it reflects and represents the establishment of the dates and commemorations for the whole year. The word ‘Mar’ stands and represents the ‘Master,’ or leader for the leading month to come. Therefore, the most correct name to be used is Marcheshvan.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch
Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/26/2023 9:42 PM |
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# 4502 In Peace With the Pizza
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Q. What bracha should be said on pizza? Does it matter what kind of pizza it is or how much one eats? What does Horav Miller recommend?
A. pies are one form of pas haba’ah b’kisnin, and the bracha is Mezonos. Similiarly, dough filled with jam (such as a hamentaschen) is a classic example of pas haba’ah b’kisnin. The bracha on calzones and the like, filled with cheese or meat (known as “pashtida” in the language of the poskim), is not as clear. A fruit pie is a Mezonos because it is a dessert item, while calzones are often intended to be the main meal and not dessert. Although the Taz (168:20) rules that the bracha on calzones is Mezonos, the Shulchan Aruch (168:17), and Mishna Berura (168:94) rule that the bracha is Hamotzi. However, the Biur Halacha states that many Achronim agree with the Taz, and if the calzone is clearly not meant as a main-meal type of food, the bracha is definitely Mezonos. Rav Belsky, zt”l said that it is unclear whether pizza is a snack or meal food, but noted that the general custom is to say Mezonos when eating a small amount.
It should be noted that if the pizza dough is fully baked prior to adding the cheese (as is the case with some frozen Pizzas) the bracha would be Hamotzi. When the dough is baked alone, its status at that time is Hamotzi, and that does not change when a filling is added.
The question of the bracha on pizza is most complicated and will be addressed IY’H b’n in the next future shailos.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/26/2023 8:30 PM |
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# 4501- Love Not Lost
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Q. Dear Rabbi. Is it permitted for a special commando soldier (my brother) whose wife is a niddah to hug her goodbye before leaving to fight in a special mission the accursed suicidal terrorists, since he is truly afraid he may not see her ever again?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he should write a beautiful and emotional letter instead, that will be kept for the future, reflecting far more his true feelings of love and care.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:43 AM |
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# 4500- Date up to Date
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Q. If I am dating or married to someone who is physically infirm or has a visual impairment, is it a violation of shomer negia to help guide them if no one else is available, even in public? Does it matter whether or not I am a nidda?
A. Poskim maintain That in such a case one should use a separating cloth for the companion to hold on. The above applies to a doctor or nurse also.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:41 AM |
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# 4499- Again Same Name
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Q. I am dating someone whose first name is the same as my son's middle name. Is that even a shayla? Or is it just a matter of kibbud av v'eim not to marry someone with the same name as your parent's names? Does it matter if the parent is no longer alive?
A. Since as is it is only your sons middle name, the complete name is already different.
The above are only minhagim and traditions that in case of need can be overridden by adding an additional name.
See question 3493 regarding a bride that the name of the mother of the proposed chosson, is the same as hers.
We wrote: The tradition of both the groom and the bride not sharing the names of the counterpart parents, is based on the Tzava’ah or last will and testament of Rav Yehuda HaChasid, written in the beginning of Sefer Chassidim.
On question 175 in regard to shunning a marriage to a woman whose father's name is the same as his we wrote that
“this is to be found in the Will (letter 23), where he adds; “And if he did marry her, he should change name, maybe there is hope”. Some retrace the above to the Arizal (Mizmor Leasaf p.110).
A number of reasons are given: Firstly, Ein Horah (evil eye, Chidah 'Bris Olam 447' Heishiv Moishe 69, Chazon Ish, Maase Ish 215 ). Some maintain that it will cause an infringement in the respect due to the father, as his daughter will call her husband by his name in front of him. (Yad Shoul Y.D. 240 ' Mevakshei Torah 24 p.155).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that there is no concern if the names are not exactly the same.”
Some Poskim maintain that the Tzava’ah applies only to his family and descendants (Noda Beyehuda E.H. 2: 79). However, others maintain that it refers to all. Therefore, usually people are indeed careful.
Divrei Chaim (E.H. 1: 8) mentions that in his circles, they specially avoid marriage when the name of the bride is the same as her future mother in law. A similar opinion is to be found in Tzemach Tzedek (Y.D. 116) quoting the Baal Hatanya. However, he permits changing the name in a minor way, as do others.
Indeed there are Poskim that also maintain that if the mother in law is usually named by a given title, such as Rebetzin, there is no concern. (Tirosh Veitzhor 214).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that for those who maintain that tradition, indeed they can be lenient.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 10/20/2023 11:39 AM |
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Important Numbers
