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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 4602 Have a Happy New Year
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Q. On question 4600 the Rov quoted question 695 regarding answering to a greeting of Happy New Year that Horav Miller maintains is permitted since in our days there is no religious connotation to the greeting. In addition, you may also initiate the salute if it generates a Kidush Hashem by displaying good manners.”
I wonder if it is correct to initiate that Good Year greeting to a fellow Frum friend also?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit"a opinion is that in such a case, it is better to avoid and just use the usual greeting.
We must mention that it is common to wish every day in Yidish, when answering a "Gut Morg'n" greeting, with "A Gut'n Yohr"
See additional explaining in this week BDYC ‘That Is’ article.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 12/29/2023 10:17 AM |
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# 4601 The Blessed Cup
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Q. Hello Rav, thank you for answering my question #4538 recently. I think I may have not explained it properly. In my scenario I explained that in my family there are 3 males and we are eating together AND MAKING A ZIMUN. (for example, every shabbat meal).
Its this case that I was asking about bentching on a KOS or not. I wrote "I know there is a mitzvah to bentch on a Kos of wine/grape juice. I seem to remember it being very common when I was a student in Israel 20 years ago, but these days in Toronto I don't see it often.
A. See Mishna Berura (182: 4) that quotes the different opinions and concludes that if someone has wine or other “Chamar Medino” readily available, it is indeed a mitzva to use it for Birchas Mamozon, yet one does not have to spend effort to get it.
Piskei Teshuvos (ibid) clearly writes that the minhag in our days is not to be “makpid” or place effort on reciting Birchas Hamozon with a cup of wine during weekdays, unless it is a “Seudas Mitzva” like a Bris or similar.
He mentions that the wine may be detrimental to the continuation of the work and duties due during working days, (and most likely driving in our days). Even grape juice may be harmful for the many that have sugar issues.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that unless there is already a wine bottle by the table, one does not have usually to bring one.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/28/2023 6:01 PM |
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# 4600 Season’s Greetings
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Q. How can one thank the building super and a Christmas card like all other tenants do?
A. On a similar question (2083) we answered:
“On question 963 regarding if it is proper to give New Year bonuses to employees right before the New Year or should a company wait until after or give them out weeks before the New Year. Also if one can we include a New Year’s wishing-well card, we wrote:
‘Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that unlike Christmas, New Year is not considered today a religious celebration and therefore you may give out the bonuses right before that day while also accompanied with a New Years greeting card.
See also question 695 regarding answering to a greeting of "Happy New Year" that the Rov maintains that it is permitted since in our days there is no religious connotation to the greeting. In addition, you may initiate the salute if it generates a Kidush Hashem by displaying good manners.”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/27/2023 3:54 PM |
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# 4599 Bedek’n the Deck’n
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Q. See question above. What should a store owner, that has to join on the seasonal spirit and decorations do, so not to loose his customers during this important sales time of year?
A. One may indeed decorate, however using only flowers and “pareve lights” that may be just as or even more attractive and welcoming.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 12/27/2023 3:51 PM |
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#4598 False Advertising
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Q. One walking or driving during this December time of the year, when the houses, stores and streets are decorated with the seasonal Christmas decorations, since it is almost impossible to avoid looking at them without crashing or stumbling, can one derive the unavoidable pleasure involved? How about listening to the music being played in stores or buses etc.?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that indeed one should avoid as much as possible being in the above sites, streets and stores during this time of the year and looking and enjoying those decorations.
However, since after all, during the whole year one faces “Tznius” and sensualist improper exhibitions and advertising, and one has had to learn to gain control, the similar should be done during this season.
On question 3504 we were asked :
“Our children on this time of the year, when they walk Shabbos evening to or from shul, often like to stop, gaze and enjoy the uncanny and sometimes stupefying Christmas decorations of our non Jewish neighb
To what we answered: “Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that obviously you have to stop your young children from gazing and admiring those Avoda Zarah decorations. It is best done while explaining to them the truth of what they stand for.
But instead of punishing or being severe against the children, that may indeed have the opposite effect, one should try ‘Letzanusso D’ Avoda Zarah’ (Megila 24b) or making fun, ridiculing and using derogatory jokes towards it. That will likely be more effective.”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 12/27/2023 3:49 PM |
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#4597 Shum al Shum Ma?
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Q. We do not like like to eat “shum” or garlic to spice our salads, soups and meat with it. I Heard that there is a Minhag (tradition) to eat garlic on the night of Nittel. Is that really true and why?
A. Indeed, Poskim mention that some of the ones that keep the Nitel traditions. eat then garlic. Beis Yisroel (8: p. 301), explains that the reason of the tradition is to remind us how that night stinks for all of us, and how the Goyim who persecuted us made us feel like.
Nitei Gavriel (Chanuka p. 263 - 5: 5) adds that it is to avoid having marital relations on that night, for those that keep that tradition.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 12/27/2023 3:46 PM |
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# 4596 The Ben Eisav and Tisha Beav
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Q. Moreinu Shlit’a. I have been careful following our family traditions not to learn or teach Torah on the night of Nitel or Chrazmach. However, since as already programmed, I have to give a Shiur that night and after all there is so much written about what and why is permitted to learn then or not, can I follow a similar to the Halachot of Tisha Beav, and permit learning and teaching during this night what is permitted learning and also explaining the above?
A.It is reasonable that it would be permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 12/26/2023 4:06 PM |
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# 4595 Tell all about Nitel
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Q. This coming Sunday is Nitel night (Christmas). I have an old family minhag not to learn Torah during that night. I was invited to a wedding on that night, Is it proper for me to attend?
A. On question 960 regarding getting married on Nitel night we wrote;
“Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that for those that observe the minhag of Nitel, it depends on the rationale behind it.
If the reason is the inherent avelus and mourning on a day that caused historically so much pain and tragedy to our people, (Korban Nesanel, Chasam Sofer 2) weddings should be avoided.
Nitei Gavriel (Nisuin 1: 48: 18 – Chanuka 5: 4) indeed quotes opinions that some avoid getting married on Nitel night; that being also one reason why we don’t learn Torah on that night, as Torah learning creates simcha and joy.
However, if the motive for Nitel is the habitual Sakana or danger for Jews being in the streets on that night, (Taamey Haminhogim) it may not apply in our days. Interestingly, Nitei Gavriel (Chanuka 48: 18) rules that even for the people who are stringent in keeping the Nitel traditions the y can get married then.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/26/2023 4:01 PM |
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# 4594 The Tape Escape?
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Q. Can you listen to a Toiro tape on the Nitl night?
A. This Shaylah actually is mentioned responsa Chai Binyomin (p. 301) where he argues that although you comply with the mitzvah of learning Torah just by listening and thinking (O.H. 47, 4 and Biur Halocho ibid.), since you do not make a brocho, (see Mishnah Berura ibid.) this form of learning may be different enough to permit it on Nit”l night.
Nitei Gavriel (Hanukah end of Volume p. 247) also permits thinking Torah thoughts on Leil Nit”l, basing this conclusion on the opinion that angels do not know the thoughts of humans.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/26/2023 3:57 PM |
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# 4593 A Tight and Dark Night?
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Q. (See questions above). We have a minhag to be careful not to learn Torah on the Nitel Night, does that include also reading the stories of Tzadikim? After all we do not read them in the bathroom?
A. Indeed for those who maintain this Minhag it is advisable to avoid them.
On question 2593 and 2227 regarding learning Torah for one that due to his sickness has to spend a long time in the bathroom. Namely;
Q. I have terrible stomach issues and I spend between 2 and 3 hours a day in the men’s room. Is there any way shape or form I can learn in there or listen to a shiur?
To what we answered: See question 2227 regarding if sciences, math, astronomy and other fields of knowledge can be considered as part of Torah learning, when eventually used for solving Halacha questions or understanding some of the mitzvos, we wrote: “Although much has been written and explained about the relationship of our Holy Torah and the other fields of knowledge, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a insists that the above principle has to be maintained and kept constant in our minds.
True, sciences, math, technological and other fields of knowledge may be helpful and even sometimes necessary to understand some Halacha questions and akin issues. But there is still a very fundamental difference between them. Our Torah is Hashem’s given absolute truth, the others not so much.”
Since no Birchas Hatorah is required for their study, (see question 2228) unless they are at the time of study actually applied to the to Halacha questions involved, or the explained Divrei Torah are being learned, the study of these fields of knowledge alone would be the permitted in the bathroom.
On question 2424 in regard to reading in a bathroom stories of Tzadikim or Jewish history (kosher) seforim, we wrote: “Piskei Teshuvos (85: 3) argues that it could be that all agree that it is permitted, when no psukim or sayings of the sages are quoted, (and one controls the mind on not pursuing them).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.”
On question 2228 we added: Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 307: 16) rules that one is not allowed to read during Shabbos stories and meshalim of secular value. Mishna Berura (ibid. 58) adds that reading (of the history books of) Yosephus Flavious, Sefer Hayuchsin, Divrei Hayomim of Rav Yosef Hacohen and Shevet Yehuda, is permitted on Shabbos, since one may learn from them words of musar and fear of Hashem, even when written in other languages. It seems that there is indeed, if no Torah value, at least some musar and ethical value on those stories.”
As mentioned above, if there is no actual words of Torah mentioned and Torah thoughts are avoided, their reading would be permitted in the bathroom.
The same would apply to reading kosher jokes and funny stories in the bathroom. See question above where we quoted; “Talmud (Shabbos 30b) teaches that Rava, before beginning a lecture would tell a “Milsa D’bedichusa,” a humorous story or witticism that would make people laugh and catch their attention. Meforshim point out that it was part of the Torah learning experience with simcha and joy (See Menuchas Sholom p. 48 and others).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/26/2023 3:52 PM |
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# 4592 Bit’l of the Nit’l?
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Q. When is the night of Nitel this year? Why do some people avoid learning Torah? Does it have to be kept?
A. Nittel Nacht is the night of Dec 24. On question 2491 regarding not learning Torah on the Nit’l night, we wrote:
“This day actually marks the birth of 'Oisso Hoish' (Yeshu or Yoshke) and it coincides more or less with the winter solstice. Historically it goes back many centuries, as it was the occasion of pagan festivities such as Saturnalia.
Later on, the Church, as it often did, adopted it and made it coincide with the birth in Betlechem of Yeshu and the celebration of Christmas, better known in our tradition as the night of 'Nittel.' From the term for natalis or being-born in Latin. Or as some argue, it represents the first letters of Nolad Yeshu Tes Leteves. Yeshu was born on the ninth of Teves. (Nitei Gavriel – Chanuka p. 416).
Since the event, turned out to be catastrophic to our nation, giving rise to all kinds of severe persecutions, inquisitions and many a holocaust, it was therefore established as a day of mourning and fasting. The fact that the reason was hidden and deemed forgotten or was disguised by Ezra's yortzait, was simply to avoid further conflict with the Church, that would only increase their antisemitism and abuse. See question 2489 above.
This day follows the Eight of Teves, also a time for fasting mentioned in Shulchan Aruch (ibid.). It marks the day the Torah was translated into Greek. This gave rise to false and mendacious interpretations of the text, and thus made possible and gave authority and validity to the New Testament.”
However, the corresponding Hebrew calendar dates change from year to year.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/24/2023 10:57 AM |
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#4591 And then Again?
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Q. Some questions concerning Asarah Beteveth on Friday this year; We usually have trouble gathering the Mincha Minyan on time Erev Shabbat. If we are late and after the Shekiah can we still say Anenu? How about reading Vaichal and Maftir?
A. On question 427 we wrote: “D’var Yehoshua (63: 2) opines that if you usually daven Mincha after the Sh’kiah you can also read Vaychal and say Maftir. Nonetheless, on the onset one should be careful not to recite aneynu on Shabbos, since it is improper to mention on Shabbos “on the day of our fasting”.
However, Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 289: 6) rules that if you fast on Shabbos as is permitted for a bad-dream fast, you are to recite Aneynu after the end of Shmoneh Esrey, before Elokay Netzor (Mishnah Berurah ibid. 22).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that only during the fifteen minutes after the Sh’kiah you may finish the Maftir and do an abbreviated (hoicher) Sh’mone Esreh including Aneynu at Shomeah Tefilah. (See also Maharam Shik O.H. 91, in regards to the admissibility of praying Mincha after the shkiah).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/21/2023 12:03 PM |
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4590 Speedy and Fast?
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Q. Dear Rov. Someone who usually is Mekabel Shabbos or begins early, can he do so this coming Shabbos ‘Vayigash’ and make kiddush before the Skekia (sunset) as he usually does, even if it also a fasting day of Assoroh Bteteives? Why did our Sages permit such a fast day on Erev Shabbos?
A. The fast of Asara b’Teves occurs on a Friday about 20 % of the time. The fast continues until after the completion of Maariv for Shabbos.
The Avudraham (Taanios p. 254), in the name of the Responsa of the Geonim, mentions that unlike other fast days (except Yom Kippur) if the Tenth of Teves were to fall out on a Shabbos this fast would actually be observed on that day. This is because of the verse 'Etzem Hayom Haze' (“this very day”) mentioned in Yehchezkel 24-2, is similar to the phrase 'B'etzem Hayom Haze” written in regards to Yom Kippur in Vaikrah 23-28.
He further explains that our calendar calculation is such that the only public fast which can fall on Erev Shabbos is the tenth of Tevet. He adds that if the 13 of Adar falls on Shabbos, we move Taanit Esther back to Thursday, to avoid not being able to proper prepare for Shabbos.
Kol Bo mentions another reason, that it is Darkei Haemori, as other religions fast on Friday. Evidently this is not enough to override the Etzem Hayom Haze.
See also Chidushei R. Chaim (Stencils – Rosh Hashana), who explains that Asara B’Teves is similar to a Taanis Chalom, the fasting for a nightmarish dream, that one observes even on Shabbos, since it brings relief only when kept immediately.
Some further explain that Asara B'Teves is not essentially only a historical fast day of mourning, but rather, like Taanit Chalom, a day of fasting for an actual occurrence of today, as it is in this day that the Heavenly Court decides if the Geulah will take place in this particular year. (Chasam Sofer Vaikra- Drush Zain Adar, see also Ohr Sameach H' Taanis 5-6.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/21/2023 11:57 AM |
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# 4589 Bright and Early
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Q. If one has Yohrzait for his father on Assarah Beteves, and he usually makes a Siyum on that day before Maariv and then offers a Kiddush after Maariv for breaking the fast. What should he do this year when most people after Kabbolas Shabbos go home and eat the Shabbos meal there?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a recommends that he should do the Siyum and offer the Kiddush or Seuda on Thursday night instead, since after all that is already the Yohrzait day.
Besides it now includes also ‘Zerizim Makdimim” in keeping Mitzvos. Namely complying earlier is usually better.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/21/2023 11:52 AM |
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# 4588 Can’t Speed Up the Fast
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Q. Kvod Harav Shlit’a. My father Shlit’a will not be able to fast this year on Asarah Beteveth due to some medical treatment he has to undergo on Friday morning. Should he fast on Thursday since the three days (8-9-10) are related?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is not necessary or even meaningful.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/21/2023 11:45 AM |
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# 4587 A Great Early Mincha?
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Q. (On Asarah Beteveth on Friday this year) can someone daven Mincha early, and then make an early Shabbat and eat before nightfall?
A. On question 428 we answered that Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 249:) quotes an opinion that even on a Taanis Tzibur (communal fast) you only have to fast on Erev Shabbos until you exit the shul after kabbolas Shabbos, past plag hamincha (one and one quarter hour before nightfall). However the Remoh rules that on a communal fast day such as the Tenth of Teves, you should complete the fast until nightfall.
Nitei Gavriel (Chanukah 63: 7) maintains that in the U.S.A. when needed, you can end this fast about a half an hour after the shkiah (ten minutes suffice in Israel). Some Poiskim (Yitzchak Yiranen 41) are more lenient and follow the first opinion of the Remoh (above) and permit ending the fast at the shekiah.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that Ashkenazim should follow the opinion of the Remoh and fast until regular nightfall, however, if someone is stringent and usually keeps Rabeinu Tam’s timetable, in this case he does not have to wait the full seventy-two minutes.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 12/18/2023 6:01 PM |
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#4586 Home Alone
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Q. On question 4572 regarding a frum fellow that was detained in a Central American country, and he will likely be there at least during Chanuka. Since the authorities are nowadays very antisemitic and he most likely will not be able, even with a bribe, to light the Menorah himself, and that would the first time in his life after Bar Mitzva.
This is making him very depressed. Can one stand on the jail’s parking lot outside his cell and just use laser diode rays that will shine the lights through the open window with iron bars on his wall for Chanuka lights. We assumed that in principle, he complies with the mitzva because his wife lights the menorah at home. How long and how many months can he be out of his home until it is not considered his home anymore?
A. The above question applies also to someone who is hospitalized or is new in a retirement institution.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that it truly depends in the case and there are different and variable conditions that would determine which place is now actually his home.
It should be left to the discretion of a competent Rov, that is also familiar with the case and all its details, to decide which is now the true abode of the individual involved.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2023 11:07 AM |
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# 4585 Not an Eide’l Dreidel
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Q. My kid was given a Chanuka dreidel by a friend that has the wining letter ‘Gimel’ on everyone of its four corners, so no mater ho you spin it it will always win. Is it correct to keep such a ‘cheating’dreidel?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that it should not be kept, since it represents dishonesty and wrongful conduct and children should not play with it.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2023 11:04 AM |
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# 4584 The Women’s Praise
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Q. Should a woman who davens shacharis every day recite Halel on Chanukeh with a brocho?
A. Poskim disagree and a woman should follow the tradition and minhag of her community or family.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2023 11:02 AM |
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# 4583 Fix the Mix
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Q. If someone realizes after saying the brocho for Chanuka candles that they will not light since there is too much water in the glass, what should he then do, just fix them and then recite another brocho?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that he can lite the shamesh and ‘bediebed’ after the fact the brocho was not in vain. He should then add the proper other lights of the day without reciting a brocho.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 12/15/2023 11:01 AM |
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Important Numbers
