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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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#5093 - Marry Up?
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- Q. Is there an inyan (reason) of making a seuda on Tu Beav for women that are looking for a Shiduch. Our a bit modern shul would like to organize one, if yes how should it be done?
A. Indeed as the Talmud (end of Taanis) mentions, one of the reasons why Tu B’av was considered one of the two greatest Yomim Tovim in our tradition is due to the fact that Shiduchim were obtained on that day There is a minhag for some to make a Seuda during Tu Beav (Karlin Beis Aharon and others. See Nitei Gavriel 98: 7, and question above).
The Arizal also writes that Tu B’Av is a Segula day of to merit finding a Shiduch. Many also visit the Kever of the Tanna Reb Yonasan Ben Uziel in Amuka and daven for finding soon the correct mate.
However, Horav Yaakov Hirschman Shlit’a answered that “There is no such segulah. I heard from Rav Chaim Kaniefsky Zt”l in the name of his uncle, the Chazon Ish Zt’l, that one who is learning, and closes the gemara to go to his parents grave on a yohrzait, does not understand what it is all about.”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 8/23/2024 9:53 AM |
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#5092 Have an Early Night?
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- Q. See question above. Does the same apply for one who davens Maariv after plag. If he learns after davening Maariv is that considered as learning at night?
A. Horav Yaakov Hirschman Shlit’a is hat even after plag it is technically in reality still day, and you gain the benefits and blessings described the learning should at proper night.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 8/23/2024 9:49 AM |
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#5091 Call It a Day?
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- Q. See question above. Dear Rov, I asked the same question above also to other Rabbis and they stressed more the importance of learning Torah at night, even in my stressful condition. Are they really wrong?
A. Dear friend, when in doubt on a Shailah, first look into what the Shulchan Aruch rules. Indeed on Yore Deah, on the Halchos of Talmud Torah (246: 23) the Mechaber mentions: “Whoever desires to acquire the Crown of Torah, should be careful on all his nights and not loose even one of them for just sleeping, eating, drinking, conversation and likewise. He must spend them with the learning of wisdom and Torah.
Remah (ibid.) adds: (quoting from the Tur and Rambam) “Since one learns most of his wisdom at night.” He then aggregates: “That one should begin his night learning from Tu Beav (the Fifteenth of Av) onward”. Taz (ibid 25) mentions that the above, at least in some version, applies also to the short nights of the Summer.
Iyun Yaakov (Chagiga: 12b) explains that Torah learned at night is truly Torah for its own sake, since during the daytime a person may be learning so that others should see him, however, nighttime learning takes place often in seclusion and modesty.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 8/23/2024 9:47 AM |
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#5090 Have a Good Night
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- Q. I wonder if I have the opportunity to learn before davening in the morning, or to do it by attending a shiur at night when I’m already a bit tired, which is preferable?
I usually do so in the morning since I’m rested and it is for me altogether much better. Yet I hear and see in Torah articles and tapes that Tu Beav is a great Yom Tov because then the nights get longer and you have a greater opportunity to learn at night, and learning then is better and more important. So really which is it?
A. The Talmud at the end of Ta’anis (31a), teaches that: From the fifteenth of Av onward, when the days begin to shorten, one who adds to his nightly Torah study will add years to his life, and he who does not add [mosif] will be gathered [ye’asef].
The Gemara asks: What is the meaning of the phrase: He will be gathered? Rav Yosef said: It means that his mother will bury him, as he will be gathered to his grave (see Genesis 49:33). We do realize the importance of learning at night and adding to it.
Indeed, as you mentioned, it is better to learn when a person is rested and his mind is clear. However, to comply with the above he should learn some Torah at night also.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 8/23/2024 9:44 AM |
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#5089 Have a Great Gut Yom Tov
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Q. Rabenu Shlit’a tonight is TU BEAV and as we heard in shul it is a very great Yom Tov. I know that we go to work on that day and there is not really any special mitzvot or tefilot said on that day as far as I can remember. Should one at least do a special Seuda and eat meat and drink wine?
A. On a related question (1802) we wrote the following:
“Indeed, Minhagei Maharil (H. Taanis 11) writes that on a certain occasion Mahari Segal decreed that one should not eat meat during all Mondays until the Yamim Noraim. On that year Tu Beav fell on a Monday and Mahari Segal ruled that on this particular time, although Tu Beav is a Yom Tov and normally one should eat meat, that year was different.
On question 850 in regards if there is an inyan to make in our days a siyum on Tu Beav since it is considered one of the greatest Yomim Tovim, we wrote:
The Mishna (Ta’anis 26b) quotes Rabban Shimon Ben Gamliel saying that; There were no greater Yomim Tovim than the fifteenth of Av and Yom Hakipurim. Most of the six reasons mentioned in the Talmud (ibid 30b, 31a) for the greatness of joy on Tu Beav apply only in the days of the Beis Hamikdosh, (Gevuros Ari ibid), therefore some Poskim maintain that you may even fast on Tu Beav. (Shibolei Haleket 30.)
However, our custom is to consider the day as a minor or partial festivity and not to say Tachanun (Shulchan Aruch O.H. 131: 5) or fast. (see question 1803). It is also apparent from the Midrash (P’sichta Eicha Rabbasi) that after the churban the simcha and joy of the day ceased. (See also Mishna Berura 131: 30).
Nitei Gavriel (Ben Hametzorim 2: 98: 13) mentions that some Poskim(Bais Aharon – Minhagei Karlin p. 8, Darkei Chaim Vesholom 683 on Munkatcher traditions) would make a seuda on Tu Beav. However it is not a common custom.
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Posted 8/18/2024 1:04 PM |
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#5088 The True Honoring of One’s Father
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Q. They are selling at our large shul the important Haftara of Shabbat Nachamu. As they are a number of Yohrzait candidates that would like to read , yet I have also yohrzait for my father ZT”L then, How important is it really?
A. Horav Yaakov Hirschman Shlit’a maintains, that it is better to donate that money in the name of your father zt”l, for the support of the needy ones who are learning Torah.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 8/15/2024 11:42 PM |
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#5087 The Sooner the Better
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Q. I’m getting married next week for a third time, with a chupa done in a small Shul. Is it best to wait until after T'u Beav is over, or is it sufficient just after Shabbat Nachamu or even after the Tenth of Av?
A. Horav Yaakov Hirschman Shlit"a and the rest of our Rabbonim maintain that the sooner the better, since “Zerizim Makdimin Lemitzvos” (The agile and nimble are fast and early in performing miyzvos)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 8/15/2024 11:12 PM |
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#5086 The Last Drink?
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- Q. Can one drink diluted fruit juice at the Seudas Hamafsekes (last meal before fasting begins)? It is very helpful for me. Can one take then a Lechaim zip?
A. Some Poskim permit drinking coffee or tea at the Seudas Hamafsekes (Shaarei Teshuva 552: 1), similarly some Poskim permit diluted juice in need. However, Poskim prohibit any alcoholic drinks.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/15/2024 10:49 PM |
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#5085 – Sure Care to Cure?
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- Q. Rabbi I need help urgent. Never in my life (B”H), I had to take any medicine on a day of fasting. Now I need to take antibiotics. Which is the best Halacha way to swallow them on Tisha Beav? (need urgent answer!).
A. Firstly consult with your doctor, since you may be able to space the intake of the antibiotics in a way that you could avoid most of them during Tisha Beav. The pills that you must take, can if possible just be wrapped slightly with some minute paper tissue. Many Poskim maintain that just swallowing them with a minimum of necessary water if need be, is an accepted procedure.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/15/2024 10:22 PM |
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#5084 Fastest Fasting
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- Q. I’am a mother and B’H I have several young children. For serving my children on Tisha Beav fasting day, can I just taste a bit of the food and then spit it out, just to see if it is not too salty or too sweet?
A. Horav Yaakov Hirschman Shlit’a suggested that it is better if the children taste a bit of it, and then you go ahead and feed them as required.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/15/2024 10:08 PM |
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#5083 Kashes on Ashes?
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- Q. Does one have to dip only the bread at the Seudas Hamafsekes (last meal before fasting begins) in ashes or one should also put some ashes on the single cooked food permitted, commonly a hard boiled egg?
Can one deep the bread on excessive salt?
A. Rema mentions only dipping the bread in ashes, but other Poskim record a custom of dipping the cooked food as well; see Dirshu Mishnah Berurah 552:16 n.e. note 13.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/15/2024 9:59 PM |
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#5082 We Welcome the Well Wear?
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- Q. A good friend left his raincoat in shul during last week or maybe it was on Friday night. I found it. Can I wear it home on a the early sunny Shabbos afternoon to return it to him, or should I be concerned that people will laugh at me and I might just take it off and come to carry on Shabbath? (No Eiruv here yet).
A. For the great mitzva of returning a lost item, our Rabbonim maintain that in our days, when people as is, do and wear strange items, it could be done. If possible you may better bring it back to its owner after davening Maariv, at the end of Shabbos.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/15/2024 10:14 AM |
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#5081 Say How You Can See
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- Q. My wife went to the eye doctor because she was having vision problems. The doctor gave her a new prescription for her lenses and she ordered a set of new frames and lenses. For various reasons she couldn’t pick up the new pair of glasses until today, Erev Shabbos Chazon. Is it acceptable for my wife to get the glasses and wear them before or on Tisha B’Av?
b) Could she also wear them even if they were unusually beautifully decorated and elegant?
c) How about similar needed sun glasses?
A. Yes, it is all permitted.
D) See question above:
Can women wear jewelry on Tisha B’Av.?
A.
Poskim maintain that if possible it should be avoided, also some
Poskim opine, during
all the nine
days. (Eishel Avrohom (Butatch), Piskei Teshuvos (551).)
Rabbi
A. Bartfeld as revised by,
Horav Yaakov Hirschman,
Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and
Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 8/12/2024 5:13 PM |
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#5080 Our Best Friends
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Q. Rabbi. Is it true what I heard, that you mentioned that the only real AI entity, that has and will ever exist as an independent entity is the Beth Hamikdash? How could you say something like that???
A. Indeed you heard well, but not completely so, and I wrote it this week in “That is my Answer” as follows.
At the beginning of Pashas Pikudey the word Mishkan is written twice. Rashi explains that this alludes to the two Temples, which were taken as security or mashkon during their two destructions for Israel’s iniquities.
The Temples were taken as a collateral for Israel’s sins, and were destroyed so our nation would survive. As the sages say: Hashem’s anger was consumed with the burning of the lumber and stones of the Bais Hamikdosh. In essence we only survived, because the Beis Hamikdosh sacrificed itself and gave us their life.
However, how little we remember, how faded have the memories become, how pathetic are our feelings. And then we hear the cry of our prophets, an echo of ancient times questioning; “Eicho,” How did we survive? Do we remember why we are alive?
The Mishkan and Beis Hamikdash were our truly greatest friends. They were not as a we know other subjects of kedusha are. The highest one, a Sefer Torah, is not an entity in itself with its own mind and having the attributes of a living, self caring and communicating entity. Yet the Mishkan an the Beis Hamikdosh actually were.
When you entered, all doubts of Emuna were obviously forgotten as you saw in front of you the incredible great constant miracles of Hashem’s presence. Even more you truly felt the holiness and presence of Hashem, you heard the music and the songs that penetrated into your hearth and mind and any doubts of Emuna just simply disappeared. Your sins were forgiven and your tefilos were listened by Hashem and help promptly came.
But more so, the Mishkan communicated and told us were to go and then camp, and were not. The Beis Hamikdosh closed its own gates and performed many miracles such as cleaning and absorbing ashes and communicating in many ways to those who entered.
They were not human entities, but they were independent with their own mind. However, AI as we know is only an extension of a human and his program, as it has many programmed limitations for security etc., and as we wrote, it cannot be therefore used during Shabbos as it is after all our extended doing.
What incredibly great and friends were the Mishkan and Beis Hamikdosh always, as they really independently cared for our nation and people in all ways and situations and sacrificed themselves for us. The Mishkan and Beis Hamikdash were indeed the most smart and powerful, non human beings and creations, that sacrificed and gave away their life and existence, so we could survive.
That is why we should truly mourn and cry for them and hope and wait for their prompt return, soon, very soon!!!
Rabbi
A. Bartfeld as revised by,
Horav Yaakov Hirschman,
Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and
Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 8/11/2024 11:51 AM |
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5079 The Happy Comming Days
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Q. A kallah is getting married right after Tisha B’av. These days the custom is to make personalized sweaters for the kallah and her family/friends. Is it permitted to decorate sweaters with “iron on” letters during the Nine Days?
A. Mishna Berura (551: 14) permits the making of clothing during the Nine Days, for a wedding that will take place after Tisha Beav. See also Piskei Teshuvos (ibid, n 58) quoting Betzel Hachochmo who permits the buying of clothing for a wedding during the Nine Days, if the necessary fixing time for them is needed then. So it would be in your case.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/9/2024 11:51 AM |
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#5078 Ponds to Ponder
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- Q. Dear Rov, can one use rivers or ponds for immersion of new utensils?
A. On a similar question (2023) we were asked;
“Lekavod Harav Shlit’a, during these times where access to some of the keilim mikva were restricted, there has been various opinions regarding the status of ponds and rivers. For example there is a pond on Centre street and Yonge street as well as Clark and Dufferin. Would we be able to tovel dishes in such a place where we can’t fully know how it came about, and if yes can one make a bracha?”
To what we answered:
“Although it may be that the Oakbank Pond (Centre and Yonge) and Marita Payne Pond (Clark and Dufferin) are not truly natural ponds, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that since they are fed by rainwater and the water in them is clean and does not flow out constantly (zochalin), they are acceptable for tevilas kelim with a brocho.”
Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a added that one has to be careful not to toivel when raining.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon
Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/9/2024 11:48 AM |
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#5077 Zoning Shabbos Chazon
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- Q. Shalom LaRav Shlit’a. Is it true what some maintain that we should increase on Shabbos Chazon Simcha, happiness and joy more than any other regular Shabbos? Why not the contrary?
A. Indeed, that is the opinion of Likutei Shlomo quoted by Nitei Gavriel (27: 4: p. 163) .
He also adds that some make a point to celebrate even in those Nine Days the making of a Siyum, as it says: “Pikudei Hashem Yeshorim Mesamchei Lev” (The Mitzvos of Hashem are straightforward and they bring joy to the heart).
The reason given is that this Simcha Shel Mitzva, shows our deep believe that all the acts of Hashem, our Compassionate Father, even the grievous and heartbreaking ones, are acts of deep kindness and ”Gam Zu Letovo,” they are all only for good and kindness.
However, the above is also avoided by many, who are not of a Chasidic background.
Horav Yaakov Hirschman Shlit’a added that one has to have these concepts in a correct mind, and not use them as an excuse to negate the mourning of the Nine Days.
Yet, it may be best to serve Hashem with joy and great hope for a Geulah Dleima very soon.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/9/2024 11:40 AM |
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#5076 Room for the Not Yet Frum?
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Q. Is it ok for a woman to be included in the kiddush and homotzi of a man who isn't shomer Shabbat yet? What about havdala?
A. The above should be avoided as it is possible that the man is not yet a proper believer in Hashem and his Torah. Since he does not keep Shabbos yet. His brochos woul in principle then be likely in vain.
On question 1641 regarding Kiddush for a not yet frum visitor, we wrote:
“Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that indeed you can not be motzy or have someone comply with a mitzva by listening from another, if the listener does not understand the basic meaning of what is happening. Although he does not have to understand the translation of all the words being said aloud for his sake, he does have to comprehend and believe in the fundamentals and purpose and reason of what is being recited.”
See also question 533 regarding the blessing of “baruch sheptarani” recited by a non-religious yet father on the Bar Mitzva of his son.
Horav Yaakov Hirschman Shlit’a added that if the Bar Mitzva boy is not going to be an observant Yid, there is no meaning and purpose to this brocho. On the contrary, by reciting it, the father is only adding punishment to himself.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/9/2024 11:28 AM |
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#5075 Clothing for Mourning
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- Q. How long do I have to wear my freshly laundered clothes before the 9 days? Can I just leave them unfolded on the bed instead?
A. Poskim write that one hour is enough. Some maintain that one may wear a few pieces at the same time. Others are of the opinion that a few hours are necessary (Piskei Teshuvos 551: 17).
Others permit if they are placed on the ground for a similar period of time. (ibid.) Nitei Gavriel (1: 34: 10) adds that there should be some recognition on the clothing that it is not a newly fresh washed item.
Kovetz Halohos (11: 29) maintains that the clothing should be placed on the floor that has not been recently cleaned, so it would loose its status of being really clean. (see note 30 there).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/9/2024 11:25 AM |
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#5074 The Ma’aseh on Ma’aser
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- Q. How does one calculate tzeddaka on the sale of a house? I'm assuming that some expenses could be deducted such as mortgage and taxes and maintenance but not consumables such as gas and electricity. Would paying tuition for my kids be considered tzedaka? What about their weddings? Do I have to give all of the tzedakah at once or can I invest some of it and spread out the payments?
Does it matter if the kids go to a university or a Jewish school?
A. On question 475 ; “Paying Tuition with Maaser Money” we wrote:
“Q. Am I allowed to give my maaser money to my parents so that they can use it for my tuition? Thank you
To what we answered: "See Shulchan Aruch and Remoh (C.M. 207: 2 and Nesivos Hamishpot ibid. 2), in regards to whom do the wages of a working girl, still at home and supported by the father, belong. Assuming the most likely scenario that the father willingly gives away his rights to those wages to his daughter.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a suggest that when the father could afford to pay the tuition, it is best for the daughter to donate the maser monies directly to the institution and request from them if they would kindly and benevolently, from their own free will, deduct that amount from her tuition or agree that they would accept monies that were raised on their behalf as tuition.
The reason being is that you cannot use maser money for payments you are already obligated to compensate, as the Chofetz Chaim in Ahavas Chessed (Ch. 19) writes because “it is like paying one’s own debts from maaser funds”.
Although girls schooling and tuition was in former years seen as optional since in Halacha there is no inherent parental obligation to educate girls in a school, that is not the case today (Igrois Moishe Y.D. 2: 113), therefore giving your maser money to your parents may not be of help as they can not use it for paying your tuition (assuming they are able to pay tuition).
See also the following questions; 357- Calculating Maaser on a mortgage, 3332 - The Giving Answer and 2537- Help Is Here.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a.
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Posted 8/9/2024 11:20 AM |
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