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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 1353 Save That Kidush!
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Q. I saw someone make kiddish on Shabbas day for many people at a "kiddish" at shul. He only took a very small sip of wine (for sure not a "maleh lugmov" (cheek-full).
1. If nobody else there drank any wine, is there any opinions that he or anyone else there fulfilled the mitzvah of kiddish and is able to then eat other foods?
2. I didn't have in mind to drink any of the wine from that Kiddish cup. Should I have grabbed the cup right away, made the "HaGefen" bracha and drank the rest of the wine in order to "save" the kiddish for everyone? (I generally don't like to drink from other people's cups (germs!) and I also felt it to be inappropriate to do in front of someone who is otherwise on a much higher level than me (age/wisdome/position, etc).
3. Given that I was uncertain if it was a proper kiddish and I felt uncomfortable taking the Kiddish cup or asking for wine, I chose to make my own kiddish with a shehakol on some Beer. Its not like I ever made an official neder to only use wine/grape juice, but I've never used anything myself other than wine/grape juice in the past. Is it okay to use this "lower level" option simply to allow myself to enjoy the kiddish foods, or would it be necessary (or preferred) to avoid the kiddish foods altogether and wait until I get home to make a kiddish on wine before the seuda?
thanks again!
A. 1. Shulchan Aruch (O. H. 271: 13) rules that one has to drink a “male lugmov” or a complete cheek-full of wine to comply with kidush. Mishna Berura (ibid. 64) opines that even bedieved or after the fact one does not comply and so maintain many Poskim. However, Beis Yosef (ibid.), Tashbatz (4: 32), Yechave Da’as (3: 40), Ohr Letzion (2: 182) and others are of the opinion that even if no one drank as when the cup spilled, you comply after the fact.
2. Horav Shlomo Miler’s Shlit’a opinion is that if you had in mind to be yotzeh with the kidush, but not to drink wine, and therefore when you changed your mind to save the kidush, you recited the brocho and drank a shiur, the kidush would have been corrected and saved, according to most opinions.
3. Horav Shlomo Miller’s opinion is that you do not have to be matir neder (absolve from promises) for changing occasionally from drinking wine or grape juice, in case of need, as when there is no wine, or in your particular case to other beverages. The above is correct if the drinks are “chamar medino” and are being consumed widely in that location, especially when you drink a full shiur of them.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
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Posted 6/18/2017 3:54 PM |
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# 1352 Make My Day
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Q. I read that you can't prepare on the 1st day of Yom Tov for the second, but something insignificant like taking a challah out of the freezer a few hours before the second day starts would be okay. Other sources say things like "Even something that is not actual labor, such as to bring in water, or even wine for kiddush or havdala, may not be done on the first day of yom tov for the second day". So I'm confused.
1. Is there a general guideline to follow for what would be considered insignificant enough to be allowed to be done to prepare for 2nd day.
2. A specific case that happened on Shavuot: Someone wanted to know if they could bring a cheesecake on 1st day of Yom Tov from one persons house to another persons house, even though they knew that they would be serving that cake only on 2nd day. (she was already going over to that house on 1st day, so it was more convenient to bring it over then, but refrained from doing so in order not to violate the idea of "preparing for 2nd day"........was that a necessary stringency?).
A. Hachana is the prohibition of preparing from Shabbos or Yom Tov to a weekday or to another Shabbos or Yom Tov day, even if it is a minor provision that involves only verbal instructions (Mishna Berura 503: 1, 116: 2).
However one may prepare for another day if the act benefits the present day also, such as taking out challah from the freezer or wine from the cellar, if there is a chance that it could be still used on the present day.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in the case of the cheesecake, if a small tasting piece is consumed still on that first day at the destination, it is permitted to bring.
The Rov also quoted Chayei Adam (H. Hoshana Rabba and Simchas Torah 157: 6) that there is no Hachana prohibition on bringing items to another house, when in need. The Rov explained that the melacha of Hotza’a involved, is considered a lesser melacha.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
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Posted 6/18/2017 3:44 PM |
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# 1351 The Stream Of Whipped Cream
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Q 1. Re question 1331, the Rav permits icing a cake...with whipped cream from ..an aerosol can....I read somewhere that using such a can on Shabbos was forbidden due to the melacha of molid. Can the Rav please clarify?
A. I’m quoting answer 403 “The main issue with using canned sweetened whipped cream propelled by nitrous oxide, for decorating desserts, ice creams and cakes on Shabbos, is the prohibition of molid or creating something new (Shabbos 51b). Inside the can the cream is in a compressed liquid state, when sprayed it changes temporarily, for a few minutes, to firmer self-standing foam.
Some Poiskim maintain it should not be used in Shabbos (Hilchos Shabbos Bamitbach p.961 in the name of Horav M. Klein and Horav M. Shtern Zt”l, 39 Melochos 2 p. 371). Some however permit its use. (Rivavos Ephraim O.H. 8; 158: 11, Orchos Shabbos 15: 45, Hemdat Yamim, Balak 5771)
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that when needed you are allowed to use it on Shabbos.
Q 2. What does when needed mean? Obviously one can make it thru Shabbos without whipped cream. If a dessert looks nicer with whipped cream on top is that called when needed?? Is there any problem with the fact that it comes out in a star shape?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a explained, that it is needed for a” tzorech mitzva” such as honoring a guest, something you may not do on a regular Shabbos.
The star shaped extraction is of no consequence, since it is not intended or used for creating or transmitting a special message. (See question 1331). It is also arguable that the star shape (multiple angles) is mainly done to maintain the stability of the sprayed foam, so it will not collapse and fall flat on the surface it was sprayed on.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
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Posted 6/16/2017 5:15 PM |
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# 1350 For The Ages
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Q. My daughter is going to separate chalah and make a brocho on her Bas Mitzva party, as many others do this days. However, because the vacations start soon, we are making the party early and she will be short a month from being 12. Can she still separate the chalah on the bread baked, that the others will eat?
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 331: 33) rules that a minor that has reached “Oinas Hanedarim” (the age when a neder or pledge becomes meaningful - for a female that is eleven years), his (or hers) terumah (or chalah) separation is valid. Poskim mention that the above is only “bedieved” or after the fact. (Tsh. Harambam 205, Tiferes Yisroel – Terumos 1: 3. See Hagra ibid. that with the Shulchan Aruch and even after the fact it is not chala).
Minchas Chinuch (507) writes that such a minor, although, after the fact the separation takes effect, since he/she cannot yet become a shaliach or an agent for a full fledged gadol, their act is valid only for themselves and not for others. (See Chanoch Lana’ar p. 80 and Hakatan Vehilchoisov Ch. 54) for divergent opinions).
Therefore, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that she should first separate the chalah with a brocho as part of the intended ceremony, and then a gedola that is already Bas Mitzva, should separate again for the others without a brocho. Although as mentioned, the Bas Mitzva’s separation should be avoided lechatchila, since there is an issue of kavod habrios involved, as her not being and feeling any less than the rest of her friends in their celebration, it is permitted on the onset.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
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Posted 6/16/2017 3:44 PM |
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# 1349 News To Me
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Q. The... Star newspaper has started randomly delivering their Saturday paper to several houses in the Clanton Park area. We never asked for it, it just started showing up. Although I plan to likely cancel mine because of inappropriate pictures that sometimes show up, it brought up a few interesting halachic questions among some of us in the neighborhood.
1. We were wondering if we must halachically call them to cancel it or not. (since we never requested it, it seems like its not "melacha done for the benefit of a Jew."
2. We were wondering if the Rav would hold that the whole paper is assur altogether (even on a weekeday) given that it contains pictures of women dressed immodestly.
3. We were wondering if it can be read on Shabbat. Obviously ignoring the ads and business sections, and avoiding reading captions under pictures and not wasting too much time......but could you glance at the sports section for a few seconds.... for example: to find out how your favorite team did on Friday night? (I've heard it suggested that its NOLAD because it was printed Friday night, but haven't seen a source). It its mutzeh, which category would it be, and would it be okay to then kick it around with your feet to look up something in the paper on shabbas or is their issur in getting any benefit at all?
Thanks so much
A. 1. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that indeed since you did not request this Shabbos newspaper delivery, they are doing it for their own benefit, and you don’t have to stop them
2. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if someone has to ask this question on a newspaper, he probably should not be reading it.
3. There are different Halachic questions regarding the reading of newspapers on Shabbos. One issue is the content of the paper. Poskim agree that if the content should not be read because it is considered mundane and inappropriate for Shabbos reading, as are many of today’s newspapers and magazines, they should not be read during weekdays either, as mentioned above.
Nevertheless, even if the content of the newspaper is proper and in principle it could be read on Shabbos (Mishna Berura 307: 53), the financial and commercial sections including adds are prohibited and muktze also. (Badei Hashulchan 107 n. 43, Shmiras Shabbos K. (29: 46-47).
As far as the newspaper being prohibited because of nolad (something that came into existence on Shabbos), Avnei Yoshfei (O.H. 5: 47: 5) quotes Maharam Shik (O.H. 123) that permits since the paper and the ink were already in existence before Shabbos began and the printing is only the “mixing” of these ingredients and therefore not qualified as nolad. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.He remarked that the financial section may not be muktze if it contains other sections such as sports, the weather or be put to another permissible use, were paper in needed.
Nishmas Avrohom (5: O.H. 340: 4: n. 1) quotes from the author of Shemiras Shabbos K. that there is no nolad by acts of a Gentile. Horav Miller explained, that it may make a difference on some cases.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
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Posted 6/16/2017 3:04 PM |
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# 1348 Hair Today Hair Tomorrow
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Q. 1. There are those that have "male pattern baldness," that choose to get rid of all the hair on their head in order to look cleaner/better. Since there is a prohibition in cutting the payos areas down to the skin, is there any way that these people are doing this is a permitted way? It seems to me that there is absolutely no hair on their head, so not even enough for to satisfy the most lenient opinions. I would like to judge favorably....is there any heter for this practice? Perhaps if they use a cream to remove hair instead of a cutting device?
Thank you
Q. 2. If there was a method of loosing hair by ingesting a drug that causes temporary hair loss, would it be permitted to use? (I understand that it is being developed, but hasn’t being approved yet because of side effects),
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that there is no real heter or procedure to permit complete hair removal from head. There are some biblical exceptions however, such as the metzorah on the day he is ritually cleansed ((Vayikra 14: 8-9) and the nazir (BaMidbar 6:13,18) when the days of his consecration are fulfilled.
On question 2 the Rov Shlit’a maintains that it probably would be permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
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Posted 6/16/2017 2:13 PM |
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# 1347 On E-Autopilot
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Q. E-commerce & electronic transactions on Yom Tov (when unlike Shabbos the markets & banks are open):
Although there's already different contemporary Poskim ruled on the above, I'd very much like to know your and Rav Miller's ruling specifically with the following:
E-Commerce: Must one disable selling a web shopping cart if he know the funds will arrive in his bank account on Y"T? Please elaborate.
Online-Brokerage: Must one cancel before Y"T any remaining open stock/options electronic orders in case they may get fulfilled (automatically IF it meets the target price) on Y"T?
If yes, to what extent does this apply? Ie: It may even be forbidden to own shares where a bank would automatically pays & re-invest the dividend on Y"T.
Yeasher Koichachem!
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that operations, sales and purchases, that are done automatically by a preset program, where no human intervention is needed, are not different than any Shabbos timer that does melochos on Shabbos by itself, after being programmed before Shabbos. However, when the instructions to do a melocho on Shabbos involve, directing people to do a melocho for you specifically on Shabbos, it is prohibited. This includes also program instructions, that if a designated operation has not taken place until the end of the projected schedule, because necessary conditions were not met (such as reaching a designated high price), then it should take effect anyway at the program’s end, when the termination takes place even on Shabbos. This is tantamount to instructing that the operation should be done on Shabbos. The same applies when one enters assets to be auctioned and give instructions, that if the sought price is not met, then they should be sold anyway, and the operation will be on Shabbos and people not, programs will be biding and buying.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 6/12/2017 11:01 PM |
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# 1346 A Delicate Condition
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Q. If one is offered something that is cholov stam, and he is not interested in explaining that he cannot eat it, or getting into an argument with someone who relies on Rav Moshe's so-called heter*, may he lie and claim to be lactose intolerant? Is this considered opening one's mouth to the Satan?
*I say so-called because even Rav Moshe holds that it is better to eat only cholov yisroel, and he personally was stringent for himself, so the heter is clearly not 100% l'chatchila.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that he can answer in general terms; he does not want to partake in the offered food, as he is sensitive and it may harm him.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 6/12/2017 6:40 PM |
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# 1345 Shiva Shevuei Torah?
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Q. According to Rebi’s opinion on gemorah Shabbos, we have seven Seforim on the Torah, divided in this parsha, and the Halacha seems to follow him. Why is it then that we always mention five Chumshei Torah and that there are 24 sefarim in Tanach and not 26?
A. The question is asked by the Rashash (Shabbos 115b). Beis Shlomo (ibid.) explains that since there is no separation of four lines by Vayichi Binssoa as there is between the five Chumashim, they are considered as one as is the sefer of Trei Assar, although they are different sefarim, only count as one.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar, and Rebi also agrees that there is basically five sefarim. Yet sefer Bamidbar is divided into three.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 6/9/2017 3:23 PM |
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# 1344 A Walk In The Park
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Q. Can I carry items in a park inside a city that has an eiruv on Shabbos? Does it make a difference how big the park is? If it is surrounded by a fence and has gates? If it has benches, many trees or water fountains?
A. Poskim (Chelkas Yaakov1: 201, Orchois Chaim 358, 10-11, Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchoso N.E. 17: 118) maintain that if there is an eiruv that surrounds the city, you may carry on the parks included in the eiruv area. The above applies, even if they are larger than an area of beis sossaim (5000 sq. amos or approximately 1250 sq. meters) and could be considered the karfaf that our Sages banned carrying an object within, when it was dedicated for non-habitation purposes, and was not initially walled as part of a residence. (eino hukaf ledira).
The reason these Poskim permit is that parks are land that was set aside for public use, and is maintained for recreational and ornamental purposes. A public park is frequented by the public who sit on the benches, play on the grass or enjoy the walk and the view, therefore it would be considered hukaf ledirah. (See Chazon Ish Maasros 5: 8. Orchois Chaim ibid. quotes Poskim that disagree)
Although Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 358:1) rules that gardens and orchards are not considered hukaf ledirah. it refers to gardens and orchards that are fenced to protect their fruit and not for public use.
Biur Halachah (ibid.) explains why a “dir” used for protecting animals is considered hukaf ledirah more than gardens and orchards. See Noda Beyehuda (2: 47), and Maase Oreg p. 137 on carrying in a Zoo. Imrei Yosher (2: 80) quoting Beis Meir.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is to be lenient for the ones who in general use an eiruv. It is also a widely accepted view today. The Rov added that although some large parks, have areas that people cannot walk on them because of the planted flowers, flora or the thickness of the shrubs, since they are kept for ornamental and decorative purposes, they are not considered not hukaf ledirah and therefore permitted. Being fenced or not, does not in this case make much of a difference, once they are included in the city eiruv.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 6/9/2017 3:12 PM |
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# 1343 Behind Closed Doors
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Q. Re- question 1327 on using a hotel key-card on Shabbos and the challenge this almost universal change now presents to the observant traveler, I heard from Rabbi M. Skobac an easy way out. It is to fasten a cord to the inside handle the lock, and have that string slightly stick out from under the door, so it goes unnoticed. He warned that the cord should be strong enough to permit the pull on the handle, and that it is better to have a thicker and stronger cord inside, attached to a thinner string that is not that obvious under the door, only used to bring out the cord.
I have a question, since this method will only work if the cord stays attached to the far end of the handle and the cord may slip when you pull on it, can you on Shabbat open a band-aid or remove some tape from another surface (such as a sticker on a suitcase) and place it over or next to the cord, to keep the cord in place?
A. Although, placing a piece of used tape or a band-aid to secure the position of the cord on the handle, could be seen as transgressing the prohibited melocho of tikkun maneh or creating and fixing a utensil, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that since it is only temporary, it could be done in need. Horav Dovid Pam Shlit’a suggested using a rubber band.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a.
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Posted 6/6/2017 11:33 PM |
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# 1342 Brocho To Barter?
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Q. My daughter, is about to return from learning in a seminar in Yisroel, and a friend of hers, that resides in Yisroel, and is well connected, asked for clothing, that she and her friends would not need after seminary. In return she offered to arrange for her a visit to Horav Chaim Kanievski Shlit”a, to receive a brocha from the Tzadik and Godol Hador. My daughter was not so inclined to ask her friends, for their clothing, and would only do so if the brocha was something worth putting herself out for. Is that a proper thing to do?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that your daughter may do so if she is inclined to. The Rov, however does not necessarily recommend doing it or not.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 6/4/2017 5:54 PM |
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# 1341 See The Daylight?
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Q. The Torah says: 'Vayehi erev vayehi boker" (mentioning night before day). The Talmud also starts out by discussing the dinim of krias Shema at night. Why, then, does the Shulchan Aruch begin with the halachos that apply in the morning? Why doesn't it follow the same pattern as the Chumash and the Talmud?
A. Actually the Torah was given in the early morning at the beginning of the day and it is then that we became obliged in keeping most mitzvos. Mishna Berura (494: 12) quoting Rav S’aadia Gaon mentions that one of the reasons for consuming milk food on Shavuos, is that on that morning they began to observe dietary laws, and preparing meat food would be practically impossible. Aptly and fittingly, the Shulchan Aruch would follow that beginning.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the Shulchan Aruch that dictates and instructs the factual practical ways in Halacha one is to follow every day, begins, when people begin their day and their activities.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
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Posted 6/4/2017 5:33 PM |
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# 1340 Ruth The Moaviah or Ruth The Midyonite?
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Q. Why is Ruth called the Moaviah, and the Talmud Yebamos discusses whether she and King David, her offspring were permitted to intermarry with the Jewish nation. Rashi explains at the beginning of Megilas Ruth that she was the daughter of King Eglon, the son of Balak. And as Rashi explains at the beginning of Parshas Balak, he was from Midyan and permitted to convert and marry. So Ruth was not Ruth Hamoaviah, rather she was Ruth the Midyonite?
A. Several Meforshim deal with this question. Maharit (Kidushin 67a) explains that at the time the Torah decreed that Moabites should be prohibited; “Because they did not greet you with bread and water on the way, when you left Egypt, and because he [the people of Moab] hired Bilaam the son of Beor from Pessor in Aram Naharaim against you, to curse you.” (Devarim 23: 5), it also included Balak although he was a Midyonite, and all his descendants, as he was the initiator of the wrong committed against the Jewish Nation.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that even though it is mentioned that Eglon was the son of Balak, it is common to address a descendant after many generations still as a son or daughter. It is likely that one of the forefathers of Eglon, in the many generations that transpired from Balak, was the son of a female offspring of Balak who married a Moabite. (See Chidushei R”M Meimran, Ibid.)
Horav Yaakov Hirschman Shlit”a quoted that despite that Rashi (Bamidbar 22: 4) citing Medresh Raba and Tanchuma, explains that Balak; “was not entitled to the monarchy, since he was one of the Midianite nobles… and they appointed him over them on a temporary basis,” he actually originated from Moab and then resettled in Midyan.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
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Posted 6/2/2017 7:31 PM |
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# 1339 Sleep It Off?
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Q. If someone was staying up the learn the whole night of Shavuos, but then realized that he is too tired and went to sleep in his bed for an hour, when he comes back to continue learning, does he have to say Birchas Hatorah?
How about if someone went to sleep in his bed and could not fall asleep. Then decided to go to shul and learn the rest of the night does he have to make the brocho?
A. Poskim rule that one does not recite Birchas Hatorah in the first case, since his intention was only to sleep enough to be able to return to his all-night learning. Therefore there was no “hesech hada’as” or disruption of intent. (Kaf Hachaim 46: 27, et. al.). Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a pointed out that at daybreak he should recite the Torah blessing to continue learning until the beginning of davening.
(See Aruch Hashulchan 47: 23. in regards to sleeping before or after midnight).
Nitey Gavriel (Shavuos 20:10 – 11 p. 135) quotes Teshuvas Harosh (4: 1) who maintains that in the second case, although he went to bed with the intention of falling asleep and not learning anymore that night, since he did not actually fall asleep, he was also not masiach da’as. Therefore, there is no need to recite the brocho.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in cases where there is some doubt of having to recite the Torah blessing, which according to many Poskim is of Biblical origin, one may recite it without pronouncing Hashem’s name. He would thus comply at least on the Biblical level, the requirement of Birchas Hatorah.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/30/2017 5:25 PM |
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# 1338 Milk Of Kindness
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Q. The minhag to eat macholei cholov in Shavuos is very important in my family and I have always kept it. But now I’m in a very strict diet. Can I keep it by just drinking skimmed milk? If not do I have to be matir neider?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a pointed out that here are numerous different reasons for eating milk food on Shavuos, most of them would apply equally to consuming solid food, drinking milk or ingesting solid edibles that were mixed or soaked in milk. To quote two cited in Shulchan Aruch, the Remoh (O.H. 494: 3) mentions, that it commemorates the shtei halechem korban offered on Shavuos. This would apply also to bread soaked or baked with milk. So too would the B’air Haitev reason (ibid: 8) quoting the Zohar that “the blood turns into milk” (Bechoros 6b) and middas haddin or the quality of severe judgment turns into rachamim or compassion and kindness by learning of Torah. The same would apply to most other rationales that explain this minhag.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/30/2017 4:26 PM |
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# 1337 Time To Call It A Night?
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Q. If one would have a net loss of learning over Shavuos by staying up all night learning because would be too exhausted to learn over the rest of Yom Tov, is it better to go to sleep or should one stick the minhag and learn Shavuos night?
A. The source for staying awake all of the first night of Shavuos and learning Torah is mainly the Zohar on Parshios Emor and Bereshis (9). Magen Avraham (494:) quotes also from Medresh that the reason is to atone for their lateness since Hashem had to awaken the people as the were still asleep when the time for receiving of the Torah began. (See M. B. ibid. 1).
Mishnah Berura (ibid. also quotes the Arizal, that one that learns without interruption, merits to to complete the year without suffering any loss or harm. Seforim stress and assert the outstanding achievements to be acquired by learning properly and with joy on that night. (See Sheloh on Maseches Shavuos).
However, Nitei Gavriel (Shavuos 21: n. 4) quotes Mishmeres Sholom’s ruling that if one is not sure he will be able to daven properly in the morning, if he stays awake the whole night, he should better sleep and rest.
Similarly, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if by staying up and learning on that night, one would neglect learning the rest of the Yom Tov, he should better sleep as required.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/29/2017 11:21 PM |
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# 1336 Bentching Etiquette
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Q. A Jewish man is sitting at his desk at work, having just said the words "Baruch ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Haolam" of bentching. Suddenly, his gentile boss walks in, accompanied by an entourage of distinguished individuals in the company, who desire to greet the Jew and ask him certain questions. The head of the entourage, a gentile lady and a CEO, introduces herself to the Jew and extends her hand to him in greeting. What should the Jew do, as he may not speak now nor may he shake her hand? Regrettably, he is bentching by heart, so he cannot even point to a siddur in his hand so as to indicate that he is in the middle of Grace. What would the Rav advise him to do to avoid transgressing any issurim? [In a similar situation, there was a certain very big rabbi who pretended that he was having chest pains, and grabbed his chest, and by the time that medical assistance was summoned, he had finished davening! Is this perhaps what the Rav would advise, as certainly it is a dovor poshut that one cannot be mafsik nor may he shake a lady's hand.]
A. It is important to clarify that there are two separate issues involved in this shailah. Let us deal first with a man returning a handshake to a woman. Most Poskim prohibit returning a handshake. One of the first was Od Yosef Hai, ( P. Shoftim 22) who quotes the European practice of clenching the hands of the host and hostess when arriving in a person’s home, and states that because this expresses mutual feelings of friendship and affection, it is considered derech chibah or an affectionate act and therefore forbidden. Igrois Moshe (O. H. 1: 114) maintains that the modern handshake is likewise proscribed, even though it has become the standard greeting for men and women alike. Many other Poskim likewise rule that one may not shake any woman’s hand, Jewish or not: (Oz Nidberu 2:73, Be’er Moshe 4:130,, Rivevos Efraim 8:596:8, Avnei Yashfei 2:89:1. Emes Le-Yaakov Even Ha-Ezer 21, footnote 4; Beis Avi 2:121. et. al.). There are some dissenting opinions, specially when causing embarrassment or kavod habrios is involved. It also should be mentioned that in modern times, a refusal to return a handshake is not anymore considered by many as embarrassing someone. This is due to the fact that this is constantly done by observers of other religions and individuals afraid of disease contamination).
As far as hefsek is concerned, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that since you are reciting birchat hamazon, your lips should be moving and the words should be said quietly, therefore you may make them aware, by pointing to your mouth that you are praying and signal that you will finish shortly. Since your hands are busy, it will take care of the handshake too. You may also prefer to write a short explanatory note.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/29/2017 1:07 PM |
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# 1335 The Angle On Angels
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Q. In a number of benchers, I've seen printed that there's actually a 5th verse/stanza to Sholom Alechaim. Why is the minhag not to sing/say this verse?
A. In a number of Sephardic sidurim there is an added verse between the common third and fourth that begins with “Beshivtechem Leshalom Malachei Hashalom - When you seat in peace, angels of peace” (Sidur Otzar Hatefilos – Iyun Tefila, Sidur Tefila Hechadash – Sepharad, Vina 1922, Noam Shabbos p. 50, Imrei Shem 2: 11, See Divrei Sholom p. 262 as to the nusach of the Chida).
Mevasseres Tzion (33: p. 102) explains that the ones who omit it, is because they consider wrong asking the angels to sit, since they usually only stand. (Although the angels that visited Avraham Avinu, seemed to have reclined under a tree, they could have been different since they adopted a human body and also ate)
There are different traditions and minhagim in regards to all everyday tefilos in general as well as to what is recited during Shabbos and Yom Tov. Sholom aleichem is based on the saying of the Talmud (Shabbos 119b) that two serving angels accompany the one who returns to his house from the beis haknessess on Shabbos night etc. and we are to welcome them to our abode. Chasam Sofer omitted altogether reciting sholom aleichem, since today we do not have angels that constantly escort us. (Minhagim Ch. S. 5: 6), this is also the opinion of Hagr’a. While others refrained from saying it, since they considered improper to ask angels to bless us, as it could be misunderstood as praying to them. (Pachad Yitzchok- Tzadik 33b).
The Ya’avetz (2: 125) and others excepted because of the custom to abstain from asking for one needs on Shabbos. It is said that the Chofetz Chaim would also omit singing sholom aleichem when guest were present, in order not to delay and begin the meal as soon as possible in case the guest were hungry. However, most of the communities do sing or recite sholom aleichem.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a pointed out that in Lakewood Yeshiva they follow the opinion of the Hagr’a and do not recite sholom aleichem.. He also explained why on the first verse we name the angels “malachei hashores” or serving angels and then we change title and call them “malachei hasholom” or angels of peace. The reason being that since the angels witnessed that he is observing properly the Shabbos, both angels concur and are at peace with each other and proceed to bless their host with sholom. The Rov’s opinion is also, that one should always follow the minhagim and traditions of his family or the community to which he belongs.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/26/2017 6:05 PM |
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# 1334 Sitting In Judgment
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Q. Can a convert sit shiva and recite kadish for his benevolent and righteous father or mother that did not convert? How about if they were actively keeping another religion?
A. In question 824 we wrote; The Talmud (Yevamos 22a) teaches that although a ger who converts is considered as a new born person and looses his familial connections to his biological family, rabbinically he cannot marry his sister or other close relatives. The Talmud explains that the reason is, people will say the ger left a stronger sanctity and converted to a lesser and more lenient religion. Rambam (H. Ma’amrim 5: 11) rules that not only should a ger observe the negative commandments in regards to dishonouring or shaming his parents, but he should also show some honor and respect to them. (See also Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 241: 9) Yad Avrohom explains that honoring parents is an obligation for Bnei Noach, as we can infer from the narrative of Chom Ben Noach, yet they are not punished for non-compliance as they are in the case of the other seven Noahide mitzvos. Rabi Akiva Eiger in his notes (ibid.) maintains that it is referring to the way Gentiles in their own beliefs and laws, greatly honor their progenitors. Igrois Moshe (Y.D. 2: 130) in a similar shaile rules that even when the parent is not ill, the ger is permitted an occasional visit and is also allowed to bring along his children. However, he should do so infrequently so that the children will not adhere to the former religion of their father, join his grandparents in eating non-kosher and do other common prohibitions. Otherwise, in case of need or illness, just as one has to take care and visit the afflicted gentiles and tend to their needs, certainly and more so, the ger has to take care of his own parents. (See also Nishmas Avrohom 2: p. 276) Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is similar. (See also question 825 in this forum).
Yechave Daas (6: 60) rules that a convert can recite kadish for his parents, say the customary hashkava and pray leilui nishmosom and elevation of their souls. Yalkut Yosef (Avelus H. Kadish 12) adds that he should recite kadish in an unpretentious and demure style, not to rise the criticism of others. (See also Miyam Hahalacha 2: 16, Eitz Hachaim p. 305).
Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 374: 5) rules that a convert does not sit shiva for his parents even if they also converted, since they are regarded as being reborn again and to have lost their filial connection. (Be’er Hagola ibid. 10). Some maintain that according to the Poskim that first day avelus is Biblical, they have to sit that one day. However, the Halacha does not follow that opinion (Shach ibid. 4).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that a convert should not sit shiva or recite kadish for his parents, but should offer his sincere and heartfelt prayers to Hashem in their behalf.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/26/2017 3:46 PM |
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Important Numbers
