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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 1700 Shedding Light on Lighting
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Q. Can someone who still has living parents light a yortzait candle for a deceased friend? Is permission from the parents required?
A. One who has a father and mother should not recite kaddish yatom ((Pischei Teshuva Y.D. 376: 4) and according to some Poskim even with their approval.
However, on lighting a yortzait candle for a deceased friend or relative, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is permitted, but he should first consult with his parents.
The Rov mainains that lighting candles for Rashb’i on Lag Baomer or for other Tzadikim in their yortzait is permitted
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/2/2018 1:34 PM |
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# 1699 Answer to Teshuva
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Q. What is the appropriate stage at which a baal teshuva should acquire and wear a hat? (This is obviously a personal decision, but perhaps the rav could offer some general guidance). Also, is it appropriate for a baal teshuva to adopt chumros and various hanhagos, and if so at what stage may he do so?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that a baal teshuva should be close to a competent Rabbi, teacher or mentor who can guide him in his way back to Hashem and His Torah. What may be proper and advisable to one person, may not be for another. Singular and dedicated guidance is essential to the process of a successful teshuva. The Rov also compared an effective teshuva to the climbing of a ladder, if one is not to fall it has to be done step by step. (See also question 1446, 1255).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 5/1/2018 4:58 PM |
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# 1698 Been There, Davened That
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Q. If I am the tenth at a mincha minyan, but I've already davened mincha, what do I do at this one? I assume I don't say Shemoneh Esrei again, but I do say Amein to all brachos. Do I say Modim d'Rabbanan? Do I say Tachanun? Do I say Aleinu? Is there anything else I should or shouldn't do?
A. Anyone listening to a properly recited brocho should answer baruch hu ubaruch shemo followed by amen (Mishna Berura 124:22-23). One should also answer modim derabanan as well as kedusha, kaddish and barchu including reciting alenu together with the tzibur.
Although some Poskim disagree, (See Beis Avi O. H. 3: 6), Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one does not repeat tachanun.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/30/2018 1:21 PM |
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# 1697 Just Hang Up
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Q. What should one do when he picks up the phone on a Friday afternoon and, to his horror, discovers that the caller is a non-religious Jewish family member who is now in a part of the world where Shabbos has already begun (or might have already begun - as sometimes one is not sure)? Should he hang up immediately on the person who is calling? Is one is asked a question by that person, may he answer the question?
A. Piskei Teshuvos (246: 7) permits one living in a time zone where Shabbos has yet not started or has already ended, to phone or to contact on line a Gentile that is actually on a time zone where it is Shabbos and instruct him to do prohibited melochos. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is prohibited. However, all agree that he certainly would not be permitted to cause or help a Jew to desecrate Shabbos in the place he dwells, as he would transgress on the prohibitions of lifnei iver (placing a stumbling block in front of the blind) or at least on helping someone commit a sin, even if he is not a religious individual.
Therefore Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a advises to just curtly say it is Shabbos and will contact latter and then hang up.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/27/2018 5:00 PM |
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# 1696 A Wonder on A Wonder
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Q. My daughter works in the Yonge & Finch area and since it was a nice day she was sitting on a bench in a small park when the van that killed and harmed so many people run some feet in front of her. A person was struck and the body landed next to her. She was in total shock and is having a hard time recoverin.
Does she have to Bench Goimel? In the ezras noshim on Shabbos? She is not married yet, should I the father bench for her and she listens?
A. On question 10 we wrote; In Shulchan Aruch O.CH. 219,9 and Mishnah Brurah ibid. 32, the Halacha dictates that we should recite Hagomel when encountering and experiencing a factual and real danger, and being saved from it, even if the deliverance was not seen as a miracle, such as a wall falling on someone or an incident with dangerous armed robbers. See also Piskey Teshuvot ibid. and 318, 10.
Harav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a is of the opinion that if someone is indeed in a car that spins out on the highway and miraculously does not get hit by another car, does not recite this Brocho, however if he did hit the guardrail and there was damage done to the vehicle he should bless Hagomel.
In question 843 in regards to a man saved from a black bear about 90 meters away, because the wind was working in his favor, and the bear didn’t pick up his scent, we wrote; Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’”a opinion is that Hagomel should not be recited unless someone was actually in danger and then saved. He further explained that being endangered could be defined as a statistically meaningful probability of being hurt. A situation defined in Halacha as “Miut Hamotzui” a small but significant enough probability to be taken into serious consideration, (some Poskim maintain it is a ten percent probability, but other numbers are also mentioned) The above means, that similar encounters at that distance, wind direction, and species of bears, have resulted in actual injury or trauma, which is clearly not your case.
In this last case, in reality it is unlikely that the van would in purpose deviate from the sidewalk and hit the trees and park benches around her, since the drivers intention was hitting as many people on the sidewalk as he could.
Even when the case warrants reciting Hagomel, if women recite this brocho is debatable, since it has to be said in the presence of a minyan of men. Sephardic women in general do. (Birkei Yosef 219: 2, Kaf Hachaim ibid. 3, Ben Ish Chai – P. Eikev 8, et. al.). Ashkenazim however, differ in their minhagim, but mostly don’t. (Piskei Teshuvos 219: 10). In regards to a woman giving birth or after one’s wife gives birth, when the yoledes attends shul for the first time, some have the minhag that the husband recites Hagomel and has her in mind (Mishna Berura 219: 17 - see question 610).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that usually women don’t recite this brocho in chutz laaretz and it suffices if they come to shul and recite with kavanah a Tehilim Mizmor of praise and thanks to Hashem.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/27/2018 3:44 PM |
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# 1695 A Fortunate Soldier
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Q. I’m joining the army as a chaplain. What should I do with lighting candles before Shabbos inside an army camp? The lighted candles can not be left unattended.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is best if you can light protected candles such as yortzait ones with a brocho in the dinning room, even if after the end of the meal they would be turned off and saved for you by the waiters. If the above can not be done, you may also leave a lit electric lamp in your room and recite a brocho on it.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/27/2018 3:41 PM |
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# 1694 Boot Camp
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Q. I’m joining the army as a chaplain. Can I carry inside the building or inside the fenced army camp during Shabbos?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that even if they are other Jewish soldiers stationed in the camp it is permitted, since the camp belongs to the army, an enrolled soldier is dwelling as a “guest” in their property and can therefore carry without an eiruv chatzeiros.
As far as the fenced outside camp, if the doors are more than five meters wide, but for security reasons are mostly kept closed, the door slides on a frame with an upper edge, it is a double door, or has a protective chain or bar, it is permitted. If in doubt whether the door is closed on not, it is also permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/27/2018 11:45 AM |
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# 1693 Special Forces
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Q. I’m joining the army as a chaplain. Can I have the cook warm my special double wrapped kosher food on Shabbos? He knows it is for me.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that you may ask him before Shabbos to put it in the oven at the same time and together (on top) of the other covered food. This will result in the cook doing a melocho mainly for the Gentiles.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/26/2018 11:29 PM |
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# 1692 Bad Hair Day
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Q. Hello Rabbi I am waiting for a response about my shailoh of lo yilbosh for a man dyeing his hair nowadays.
A. Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 182: 2) rules that a man who colors even one white hair black, transgresses the Biblical prohibition of “Lo Yilbash,” (Devarim 22: 5), a man should not dress like a woman. Whether a person whose hair prematurely turned white is permitted to color his hair dark so that he will look his age rather than older than his age, depends on the purpose and reason of the dyeing. If done for beauty reasons many Poskim prohibit, but they permit when it is done to avoid embarrassment or to be hired, secure a job or maintain office. (See Sheorim Metzuyonim Bechalocho 171: 1, Igrois Moshe Y.D. 1: 82 and 2: 61, Nishmas Avrohom Y.D. 2: p. 137, quoting R. Z.S. Auerbach zt’l )
See also question 563, on whether a man can trim his eyebrows if they are unruly and get into his eyes.
We wrote: “Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 182: 1) rules on the prohibition to remove bodily hair growth. However Mordechai (Shabbos 50: 327) permits in cases of great discomfort or pain.
Nishmas Avrohom (Y.D. 182 p. 140) quoting Horav S.Z. Auerbach Zt”l that permits the removal of embarrassing excessive hair between the eyebrows.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that the eyebrows can be trimmed for the sake of one being able to see properly, but not with the exactness and meticulousness typical in women’s facial treatment.”
Although some contemporary authorities may be lenient, the Rov’s position would be similar to above in our case. He added that the fact that there are dyeing products manufactured and marketed specifically for men and many men do use them, is of no relevance when they are used just as a beautifying agent.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/26/2018 3:19 PM |
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# 1691 Double Check
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Q. If someone was visiting in Eretz Yisroel when they were reading a different parsha that Shabbos (Tazria – Metzora) and in Chutz Laaretz (Shemini). And then returns and will listen a second time the next Shabbos this same two parshios, does he also have to repeat the Shnaim Mikro and Targum he reads every Shabbos morning?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he does not have to repeat the reading of the two parshios with Targum that he already did a week before. (See also Betzel Hachochmo 1: 9, Beer Moshe 7).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/26/2018 12:05 AM |
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# 1690 Walking on Eggs
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Q. I have a non-Jewish neighbor who is very friendly and does us many favors. He offers every year to my children Easter chocolate eggs. They don’t eat them because they don’t have kosher certification. We usually also buy for his children the same, because we want to keep a good relationship. Is giving or hiding Easter eggs for the non-Jewish children to find, permitted?
A. Easter eggs, also called Paschal eggs, are decorated eggs that are usually used as gifts on the occasion of Easter. The oldest tradition is to use dyed and painted chicken eggs, but a modern custom is to substitute chocolate eggs wrapped in colorful foil, hand-carved wooden eggs, or plastic eggs filled with confectionery such as chocolate. Eggs, in general, were a traditional symbol of fertility and rebirth expressed during spring in many ancient pagan traditions. (From Wikipedia).
It is interesting to note (lehavdil), that Mei Hashiloach (Likutim at the sefer’s end) explains our tradition based on the Levush (O.H. 476: 2) of eating a hard boiled egg during the seder night, as an allusion to Pesach resembling the egg or emerging and nascent life force, from which eventually the Torah will be received on Shavuos.
However, since in Christianity this type off eggs do carry the message of resurrection, Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a recommends to reciprocate to your neighbors by presenting them with traditional Jewish gifts such as chocolate covered matzos or macaroon candies etc.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/25/2018 12:18 AM |
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# 1689 Not That Social
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Q. What is Horav Miller opinion in signing into Facebook, Linkedin or Whatsapp? Are there issues of lashon horah and rechilus involved?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’s opinion is that Bnei Torah should abstain from using any of the methods of social media on-line.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/24/2018 12:50 PM |
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# 1688 Seek and Hide?
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Q. Recently, I went on a shidduch date. When I came in the apartment, the mother of the young lady was present, as were her two daughters. However, her husband was at work. Is this a yichud situation? I presume (though I can't know for certain) that the husband was somewhere in the city (no idea how far away). Is this considered a situation where the husband is in town, and therefore there is no yichud, or maybe it was yichud because the husband was probably far away and there was no possibility for him to suddenly abandon his job during working hours and come home?
See Shulchan Aruch (E.H. 22: 15) and in the Poskim therein as to how many women are required to avoid a yichud prohibition. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if there are two present besides the proposed kalah there is no yichud. Otherwise, the home door should be left unlocked or the meeting should take place in a room with an uncovered window facing the street. If the husband is out of town, a neighbor should be asked to check on the home. An inside security camera could also be set.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/22/2018 11:20 PM |
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# 1687 Aneinu Anyway II
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Re - question 1640 in regards to someone who became a diabetic and cannot fast anymore reciting Aneinu, we wrote that Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one can still say Aneinu, but omit the phrase “beyom tzom taanisenu.
Q. In that case, may I also get an Aliyah on a Ta'anis?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one that does not fast should not be called to the Torah as the Mishna Berura (566: 21) rules. And even if he is the only cohen he should exit at that time. The fact that one can recite Aneinu when omitting “beyom tzom taanisenu,” is because it is only an elaboration and expansion to a tefila, that one may voluntarily add when true. (See similar opinion in Piskei Teshuvos (566: n. 28).
The Rov commented that you may get an aliya on a taanis during shacharis, but try to daven early and be still fasting.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/20/2018 6:27 PM |
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# 1686 No News is Good News
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Q. Is there a prohibition on listening, reading or repeating news that may be fake?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that besides the inherent prohibition of wasting time that could better be used in Torah learning and performing mitzvos, one may incur in the proscription of distancing oneself from sheker or falsehood. When repeating them one may also transgress on the prohibitions of lashon horah and rechilus. And when reading or listening to them one may be violating the laws of accepting lashon harah as well as encouraging others to do wrong.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/20/2018 2:39 PM |
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# 1685 Speak for Yourself
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Q. Are Gentiles included in the speaking lashon horah prohibition?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that Gentiles are not included in the speaking lashon horah prohibitions, since these proscriptions are not part of the seven Noahide Mitzvos. (Sanhedrin 56a). However, when the lashon horah causes damage or harm to others, as it often does, it would be included in the Noahide mitzva of not stealing from and harming others.
Poskim disagree the exact definition and nature of the mitzva of dinim or carrying out justice. It definitely includes a requirement that Gentile societies establish courts and prosecute those who violate the Noahide laws (Tosefta, Avodah Zarah 9:4; Rambam, Hilchos Melachim 9:14). Ramban (Bereishis 34:13) contends that the mitzva of dinim also prohibits injuring or abusing others or damaging their property.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/20/2018 2:36 PM |
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# 1684 See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no Evil
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Q. Can one speak lashon horah on a Gentile? If not, can you speak on a Gentile if he also speaks lashon horah on others?
A. Although the Chofetz Chaim in his Seforim does not mention that the prohibitions of lashon harah apply when speaking about Gentiles, the Medresh Devarim Rabba (6: 8-9) quotes Rabi Yochanan saying that if you become accustomed to speak on one that is not from your nation, eventually you will speak wrong on your people too. (See similar in Medresh Tanchuma – Pekudei 7).
Radal in his elucidation (ibid.) maintains that lashon harah on Gentiles is therefore prohibited.
Chut Hashani (P, 357) asserts that if a Gentile who keeps the Seven Noahide mitzvos is involved, it is forbidden. but the prohibition is Rabbinical.
However, Haemek Shailah (28) explains that the Midrash may be referring to a Ger. While Zemanei Reuben (p.252) intents to differentiate between the different prohibitions involved in gossip and rumor-mongering.
The Rosh in Orchois Chaim (Day 5: 83) writes; Do not express wrong and lashon horah on any creature.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that as mentioned above it is prohibited since it is the cause of bad midos and grievous character traits.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/20/2018 2:35 PM |
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# 1683 Wash for Lavash?
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Q. What is the correct brocho for lavash flatbread which is very thin and "floppy"? Is it the same brocho for any thin wrap?
A. On question 1287 in regards to the brocho on a flour tortilla (wrap) used as a bread substitute, as when filled with chicken or cheese, we wrote: Shulchan Aruch (168: 8) rules that very thin bread or as Mishna Berura (ibid. 37) explains a very diluted flour mixture baked with vegetables inside, the bracha will be mezonos. However, if he is kovea seuda (sets up an appropriate meal as opposed to eating a snack or nosh) and eats enough to be considered a proper meal, he should recite hamotzi. Mishna Berura (ibid. 80) maintains that kreplach, that he defines as thin sacks of dough filled with meat and the like, that the Remoh considers as bread, the Taz maintains that the brocho is mezonos (and so does Magen Avraham ibid. 20), Mishna Berura seems to agree.
Therefore, wraps and wheat flour tortillas, that are usually made from regular wheat batter, rolled thin. Being that the dough is similar to blila daka or rather very flat, thinner than a common pita or a lafa, the brocho should be mezonos unless one is kovea seuda on them. Poskim agree that for tacos and tortillas made from corn flour, the brocho is shehakol.
Vezos Habracha (168: 15: p. 494) writes that on thin pancakes and blintzes shells the brocho is mezonos.
A similar psak on wraps has been widely quoted in the name of Horav S. Z, Auerbach zt”l.
However, The OU Guide to Brachos maintains that “If one were to eat a plain wrap (unfilled) then it would be mezonos. Because it is not the way people eat this, this is a chisaron in the tzuras hapas. But if one were to eat a filled wrap with tuna or cheese etc… then the proper beracha would be hamotzi”
However, it seems that the current minhag in many places were wraps are served as a treat in gatherings or informal lunches, is to recite mezonos.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it may be a sofek brocho and one should preferably in principle, wash netilas yodaim and eat a kezais slice of bread first. Nevertheless, when the wrap or wheat flour tortilla is indeed very thin or it has been treated and given a distinct flavor (usually also detected by color change), then one can recite mezonos, as long as one is not kovea seuda.
Lavash is defined as a soft, thin unleavened flatbread (Wikipedia) and if it meets the conditions mentioned above, would likely be subjected to the same Halacha ruling.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/20/2018 2:18 PM |
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# 1682 Dip In
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Q. See question above. Can someone that does not eat gebrochts (matza or matza flour dipped or mixed with water on Pesach) dip matza in wine or another alcoholic beverage (Kosher Lepesach)?
A. Mishna Berura (462: 4) considers that any water that was added to the wine before the end of the fermentation, to become annulled in the wine (battel) and therefore an integral part and parcel of it.
Based on the above, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that this wine is alike mei peiros and does not cause flour to become chometz, Therefore, even those who do not consume gebrochts can dip their matza in it.
The same would apply to other fermented alcoholic liquors.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/20/2018 12:45 PM |
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# 1681 No Broch on Gebrochts
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Q. Can someone that does not eat gebrochts (matza or matza flour dipped or mixed with water) on Pesach dip or spread matza with mayonnaise? How about butter or jam?
A. Those who are stringent regarding geborchts, may allow matza to come in contact with mei peiros.or pure fruit juice, since exposure to mei peiros will not cause flour to become chametz. (See Sha’arei Teshuvah 460: 10, Eishel Avraham (Butchach 462) and Mikroei Kodesh (2: 15). However, the above applies only to pure fruit juices that do not contain any water. When water was added, on the contrary, it accelerates the process of fermentation.
Mekadesh Yisroel (396), Shevach Pesach (p. 193), Shaar Hamoadim (p. 169), and others quote different opinions in regards to butter and other spreads to be used on matza for those who do not eat gebrochts.
Minhagei Maharitz Halevy (p. 120) mentions that he would permit solid paste type spreads, such as butter, avocado, mayonnaise, banana, jam and similar, as opposed to liquids that run, flow and moisten.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that there are different established minhagim in regards to butter that could have been manufactured from milk that had water added to it.
Jams are usually made from fruits cooked in water and contain a percentage of it.
Mayonnaise also contains a water percentage, however it is emulsified in the oil, and does not maintain the normal water properties. Therefore, there may be a reason to be lenient.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 4/19/2018 11:42 PM |
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