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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 1834 "Hair" The Answer
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Q. In Question 1821 you write that Rav Miller permits permanently removing hair of the ear since it is usually done for remedy or curative reasons. Does this apply to hair growing on the exterior section of the ear as well or only on the inside of the ear
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is also permitted. Although it may be considered basically an aesthetic procedure, since it is unusual, embarrasing and unpleasant. It is similar to the opinion of Nishmas Avrohom (Y.D. 182 p. 140) quoting Horav S.Z. Auerbach Zt”l that permits the removal of embarrassing excessive hair between the eyebrows, (question 1429). In this case even plucking would be permitted if it is the way it is permanently removed. The same may apply to the removal of hair growing out from one's nose.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/31/2018 6:02 PM |
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# 1833 Vayehi Erev or Vayehi Boker?
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Q. I daven in a shul where the first Selichot are usually said at 11.00 PM on Motzei Shabbat since most people are unwilling to come two hours latter, when most shuln say the first Selichos.
My question is; Should I say selichot together with them before chatzos or is it better to wait until Sunday morning and find a minyan that says selichot in the mornng.
A. Your best option is to join that first night with a minyan that recites selichos Motzei Shabbos at chatzos (after 1.16 AM, Toronto time), since that is considered an "Eis Ratzon" or a time of good will according to the Zohar. (See Magen Avraham 581: 2 and Igros Moshe 2: 105 that that is the tradition of most Ashkenazi communities).
Poskim based on the Zohar, worn not to say selichos before chatzos or midnight (Birkei Yosef, Shaarei Teshuva, Piskei Teshuvos ibid.) Igros Moshe ibid. maintains that there is no prohibition, rather there is no benefit to reciting the thirteen qualities of compassion at that time, and therefore no promise that the tefilos and prayers will be accepted.
However, Nitei Gavriel (Rosh Hashana 8: 4) in the name of other Poskim, rules that it is forbidden to recite selichos before chatzos.
Therefore, it would be better when one cannot stay up until chatzos, to recite selichos before shacharis in the morning.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/31/2018 2:34 PM |
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# 1832 Heads Up!
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Q. It happens that sometimes I'll look around during shacharis and see people whose Tefillin Shel Rosh is not in the proper position. What is the correct course of action when I see this? Should I quietly go up to them? Should I approach the gabbai about donating a mirror to the shul with the purpose of creating a "tefillin checking station"?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that directly reprimanding or calling to attention individuals about their misplaced tefilin, especially if done repeatedly, may have the opposite effect and create discord. You also do not often see mirrors in the back of a shul. The reason may include that people will use them more for grooming themselves as they leave, something that may seem disrespectful to the inherent holiness of a shul.
The best course of action is to contact the Rabbi and remind him to teach in his talks and shiurim the importance of donning tefilin correctly with all the necessary details, stressing that one who does not do so has not complied with the mitzva and his brocho is in vain.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/31/2018 2:27 PM |
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# 1831 A Tail of Two Coins
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Q. I'm not a very wealthy man, and in fact receive monthly tzeddakah cheques myself. However I do feel that it's important to give some tzeddakah during davening, and so have a small change purse with coins. It happened that after davening, a shliach came to me, and I gave him two coins. Yet he continued to stand there with his hand out as though I hadn't given him enough. What is the correct course of action in this case? Part of me wanted to take the two coins back from him and put it in a community tzeddakah box.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that in principle you can accept the coins if they are refused and returned, however, since we are dealing after all with only a few coins, it may be wise and an act of true chessed to even add a bit more; thus avoiding embarrassments and the words and feelings of anger and discord that may otherwise result.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/31/2018 2:11 PM |
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# 1830 Poor Fun Making Fun of the Poor
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Q. There is an inyan to put in your tzitzis when going to a cemetery because of lo'eig l'rosh. Does this apply when going to a funeral for a woman where there are separate sections in the cemetery for men and women, like in the Agudah section? Would it apply because tzitzis is a mitzvah, and the meis cannot perform mitzvos, or does it not apply as women never had this specific mitzvah?
A. Mishna Berura (23: 5) rules that one should cover their tzitzis when next to a deceased or a kever of even a minor, since it may be the resting place or the body of the neshama (gilgul - reincarnation) of a great man. However, next to a woman, who was exempt of this mitzva, there is no "loeg Lerosh" or ridiculing and deriding the poor, who cannot comply anymore with mitzvos, since when they were alive they were also exempt.
However, not all Poskim agree. Kaf Hachaim (ibid. 3), Kehilos Yaakov (9: likutim 9), Mishne Lemelech (Avel 13: 9) and others are stringent and require the covering of tzitzis next to deceased women also. (See Piskei Teshuvos (23: 1).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is to be stringent when possible, since the fact that women are exempt is also due to the fact that they comply with other mitzvos, so indirectly there is a reference to a loss of mitzvos after death, and therefore loeg larosh. The Rov also pointed out that this woman's neshama could be a gilgul of a man.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 8/28/2018 1:42 PM |
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# 1829 Out of the Swim
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Q. Are a couple permitted to swim together if the wife is a Niddah?
A. Poskim prohibit even preparing a bath for the spouse when the wife is a nidda (See Shulchan Aruch Y,D, 195, Shach (16) and Taz (8).
Therefore, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is prohibited.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/28/2018 1:28 PM |
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# 1828 Let The Good Times Begin
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Q. Rashi (21: 18) quotes Talmud (Sanh. 71b) that the wayward and rebellious son is executed on account of what he will do in the future - he will stand at the crossroads and rob people, killing them, thereby incurring the death penalty. Baaley Mussar and others argue that if this applies to future wrongdoings it surely should hold true for mitzvos to be done in the future, as long as there is a certainty that they will be so done, (As opposed to Yishmael that was judged only "Baasher Hu Shom," since the crimes to be committed were by his descendants). According to this opinion, how long does one have to be doing a mitzva so it is considered as a sure thing and he can be given already now the credit of the future? This can make a tremendous difference on the judgment of the Yemei Hadin.
A. Indeed we do find that in merits Hashem does consider the future good deeds to be done. Rashi (Shemos 3: 12) writes; Concerning what you asked, “what merit do the Bnei Yisroel have that they should go out of Mitzraim?” I have a great thing dependent on this exit, for at the end of three months from their exit from Mitzraim they are destined to receive the Torah on this mountain. Similarly, when Moshe Rabbenu was about to kill the Mitzri, Rashi quotes Medresh Rabba; He turned this way and that way, and he saw that there was no man: he saw there was no man destined to be descended from him [the Mitzri] who would become a ger.
In Taanis (8b) we find that Rabbi Zeira and his followers accepted a fasting day they could not in practice keep, due to a decree of religious persecution. He based his decision on (Daniel 10:12); “Then he said to me: Fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to fast before your G-d, your words were already heard.” This verse indicates that from the moment one turns his heart to fast, his prayers are already heard.
Rabbenu Yonna (Shaarei Teshuva 2: 10) clearly states that from the time one accepts in his mind and ascertains decisively to follow the right way, he already acquires the merits of the mitzvos and their reward, He quotes the Mechilta (Bo 12: 28 - Rashi) "Once they accepted upon themselves [to do the korban Pesach], Scripture credits them for it as if they had [already] done so.
Horav Dovid Kronglass zt"l (Sichos Chochmo Umussar 3: 1) is one of the sponsors of the idea that future mitzvos can be counted on the Days of Judgment, and he maintained that thirty days would be the necessary time to create a chazaka of future continuity. We find the thirty day chazaka in many different instances such as establishing marital status (Rambam H. Issurei Biah 1: 20), establishing someone as a cohen, the correct name of a person or when in doubt what was said on Tefilos that change with the seasons (Shulchan Aruch O.H. 114), and other instances.
However, Horav Shmuel Kamenetsky Shlit'a told me that seven days may be sufficient.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that the main factor that may grant a prerogative on future mitzvos not done yet, is the true commitment of the individual in the performance of those mitzvos and even just three days may create a chazaka. The Rov added that "Machava Tova or a good thought is counted as an act" (Kisdushin 40a), applies only when the good thought are really kept.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/26/2018 11:46 PM |
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# 1827 Stand Fast to the Fast Talk
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Q. I try to concentrate intently on the meaning of "Y'hei Sh'mei Rabba etc." as the Talmud appears to attach great importance to this endeavour, even going so far as to declaring that one who does so may be saved from an adverse decree in Heaven (Shabbos 119b).
Recently, I was in a synagogue where the Chazan was Speedy Gonzalez and before I finished the sentence he was already at "Da'amiron B'Olmo V'Imru Omein". Am I supposed to interrupt my declaration of "Y'hei Sh'mei Rabba etc." to answer Omein or not?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one should not interrupt the recitation of Yehei Shmei Rabba to answer another omein, including one that pertains to the same kaddish.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/26/2018 11:24 PM |
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# 1827 Stand Fast to the Fast Talk
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Q. I try to concentrate intently on the meaning of "Y'hei Sh'mei Rabba etc." as the Talmud appears to attach great importance to this endeavour, even going so far as to declaring that one who does so may be saved from an adverse decree in Heaven (Shabbos 119b).
Recently, I was in a synagogue where the Chazan was Speedy Gonzalez and before I finished the sentence he was already at "Da'amiron B'Olmo V'Imru Omein". Am I supposed to interrupt my declaration of "Y'hei Sh'mei Rabba etc." to answer Omein or not?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one should not interrupt the recitation of Yehei Shmei Rabba to answer another omein, including one that pertains to the same kaddish.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/26/2018 11:19 PM |
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# 1826 Cherish the Kiddush Wish
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Q.
Hello Rav, In an effort to improve my health, I am not supposed
to consume sugar. Can I use a sugar free diet soda (like Coke Zero)
for kiddush/havdalah? Could I use unsweetened herbal iced tea?
Unfortunately, coffee and alcohol both don't agree with me. Are there
other options?
Thank you.
A.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion in your shaila is that the
options are as follows;
1)
Best option, ask someone else to make kiddush or havdala for you.
2)
You make kiddush or havdala, but ask someone else who has complied
with your recitation to drink.
3)
On Shabbos night (Friday) only you may recite kiddush on the challah.
You wash netilas yodaim first (along with the others if present),
then proceed to recite kiddush and make the hamotzi brocho instead of
the usual pri hagofen. At the end you cut the challah, (There are
dietetic breads that could be used in need).
4)
Dilute the smallest cup of grape juice permitted for kiddush (86 cc)
by half with water, and only drink a bit more than half of the cup.
The amount of fructose is small.
5) In the day kiddush only you may indeed use herbal iced tea in need.
Diet sodas are not an option.
Rabbi
A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/26/2018 11:16 PM |
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# 1825 Have Your Say
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Q. The only child of a deceased parent is a woman. Which is better?
a) Her husband should say Kaddish, assuming he gets permission from his living parents.
b) She should hire someone to say Kaddish.
c) She should say Kaddish herself, either silently together with a man, or by herself behind the mechitza (a practice I once saw in some
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is preferable that the husband should recite Kaddish, if he gets permission from his living parents. Otherwise, they should hire someone to say Kaddish.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/24/2018 5:09 PM |
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# 1824 I'll Drink to That?
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Q. May I request coffee or tea from a stewardess on a flight?
A. See question 1812 in regards to requesting hot water from a stewardess on a flight where we wrote:
"Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that the most conceivable problematic issue is kashrus, since often the hot water will be served via a metal water kettle or server that is likely washed with the rest of the non-kosher utensils. However, being that the utensil is probably not ben-yomo and plausibly was washed on another prior day, adding that the detergents used are also likely to have spoiled the taste of any remnants of non kosher foods that came in contact with this vessel, reckoning that the amount of water used also probably supersedes a sixty to one ratio in comparison, plus other leniency-oriented factors at play, one can permit using the water served."
In the case of coffee or tea additional issues of kashrus should be considered, such as kosher milk, creamers and Cholov Yisroel. Although not commonly available in economy, first class passengers may in some flights be offered brewed coffee with milk or milk products (as latte or cappuccino) or specialty teas that may require a hechsher.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/24/2018 5:04 PM |
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# 1823 Be A Good Sport
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Q. If one's wife is a Niddah, may the couple play the following games together: Ping-Pong, Tennis, Badminton, volleyball
Since the goal of the game is not to pass the object to one's opponent but to hit it properly where the opponent will miss the object, does it become permitted? Similarly, if one's spouse is the goalie in a hockey game or a fielder in baseball game, is it permitted for the other spouse to play forward or be the batter respectively?
A. On question 1154 in regards to a couple playing a shooting each other game with Nerf guns while the wife is a nidda we wrote; "Beer Moshe (1: 50: 5) after describing in detail the workings of ping-pong, permits playing it during the niddus period, while Hilchos Niddah (2 p. 137) quotes (mipi hashmuah) that Rav Moshe Feinstein's zt'l opinion was to be stringent not only in playing ping pong but also in handball and tennis. Similarly, Chut Hashoni (Y.D. 195: 1: 4) permits for a husband and wife during the period of niddus, to engage in games similar to chess, Chanuka dreidl or the like. However, he warns to abstain from any other games or activities that may cause levity and light-heartedness.
Pischei Nidda (2: 28: A: n.4) mentions that; “one should avoid playing these games, unless one feels that playing that diversion would have a beneficial effect.”
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit”a opinion is that Nerf guns are more frivolous an activity than the other games mentioned above, which at least qualify as a sport. He suggests that one should rather avoid this particular activity and find another less giddy, to help perk-up and elevate the spirits of a spouse."
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion in regards to a spouse being a goalie in a hockey game or a fielder in baseball game is that it is indeed similar to ping pong, handball and tennis mentioned above.
The Rov maintains that during this special time, one should preferably avoid any physical activities done together and concentrate more in spiritual or educational enterprises, unless sholom bais is at risk.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/24/2018 4:57 PM |
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# 1822 No blockage...Except for Torah
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Q. I pray in a small schul inside a Jerusalem bomb shelter. The wall of the lavatory is thus pretty close to the wall of the area where we daven. I have noticed that I can hear the Chazan clearly when I am within the lavatory. This means I can hear Kaddish and various Brochos, including the Shem HaShem, said while I am engaged in the lavatory.
Must I equip myself with a pair of earplugs for my visits there or is there no problem with hearing these things while engaged in the lavatory?
A. Although Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 85: 2) rules that it is prohibited to even think Torah thought while inside a lavatory, we find in Talmud (Zevachim 120b) that Rava learned a din from Rabbi Elazar berabi Shimon while inside a bathroom. The Talmud explains that since it was done "leonso" or against his will it became permitted. Lev Chaim (3: 7) permits the use of a toilet near a Talmud Torah, if one concentrates his mind not to listen. Milei Dachasidusa (Sefer Chasidim 157) and Mishnas Avrohom are also lenient.
Tzitz Eliezer (13: 1: 2) addresses also this shailah and permits one to enter the facilities when in need even when he will be exposed to the direct voice of Torah, tefilos and brochos. He urges also to contain his concentration on permitted thoughts and if possible one should plug his ears.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar. The Rov advises to use one's fingers or hands to block the ears when possible. As the posuk (Yeshayahu 33: 15) teaches "Oitem Oznoi," He closes his ear from hearing...
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/24/2018 4:53 PM |
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# 1821 Hear Hair!
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Q. Is it permitted for a man to permanently remove hair coming from one's ears?
A. Benayohu's peirush on Tikunim (p. 84b) quotes Idra Zuta that one should remove hairs from inside the ear so they will not obstruct the reception of Torah and Tefilos, besides the Cabalistic vantages attained. (See Toldos Haben Ish Chai p. 95)
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that since it is done usually for remedy or curative reasons, it is permitted. (See question 563 in regards to shaving eyebrows and 1429 pertaining to body hair).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/24/2018 4:50 PM |
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# 1820 Ten Men - Amen
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Q. Is it permitted for one who davens Minhag Aschkenaz to refrain from answering Amein to "V'yatzmach Purkanei Vikareiv M'shichei" since according to his Poskim this addition is a "Shinui Mimadbei'a SheTav'u Chachomim"?
A. Igrois Moshe (O.H. 2: 23) rules that recitations that are said only when there is a tzibur of ten present such as kadish and kedusha should be recited together with them in the nusach of the tzibur, even by those who usually keep a different nusach and he recites them quietly. Similar responses are given by Minchas Yitzvhok (7: 5), Avnei Yoshfe (14) and others.
Therefore Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one who maintains nusach Ashkenaz should answer V'yatzmach Purkanei Vikareiv M'shichei together with the rest of the tzibur.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/24/2018 4:48 PM |
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# 1819 Love and Don’t Leave the Ger
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Q. Is there a mitzvah to mekarev a ger who has lapsed in observance the same way that there is a mitzvah to mekarev someone born Jewish?
A. Once a ger underwent a proper Halacha accepted gerus, he is considered to be a Jewish person for all purposes and if he lapsed in observance, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one should be mekarev him as one would do with any other Yisroel.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 8/17/2018 8:46 PM |
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# 1818 A Family That Swims Together?
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Q. Assuming the women of the family are wearing modest swimsuits, such that they are similar to a dress and the sleeves cover until the elbow and knee; may a family, two parents and children, swim together?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that in principle it is permitted, however, he recommends to be stringent.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 8/14/2018 4:02 PM |
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# 1817 Game Is Up
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Q. (See question above). If not, should one pay good money to attend a game and watch the unusual players personally, so he can recite the bracha?
A. On question 550, on there being an “inyan” or worthwhile purpose in visiting a zoo and watching the animals, we wrote: Leket Yosher (Tamid p.66) writes that his Rebbi the Trumas Hadeshen went to watch a pair of lions that were brought to his city on Shabbos, since he had never seen a lion before. Likewise, the Chida relates his experiences with unusual animals when visiting the London Zoo (Midbar K’demos 2: 21). Similar stories are told about the Divrey Chaim who visited the Vienna Zoo in order to recite the brocho of “meshane habrios” (Tehilas Chaim 2: p.183), Nimukey Orach Chaim from the Munkatcher Rebbe Zt’l (225) and Orchos Rabbenu (1: 94) on a visit of the Staipler Gaon Zt”l to the zoo with his children. On question 1419 we quoted the Chofetz Chaim instructed the residents of Radin to view a solar eclipse
However, other authorities warn of excessively gazing at non-kosher animals as it brings on an impure spirit (Yeshuos Chochmo 33: 11, Pninim M’bei Medrosho p.102). One may argue a similar objection to attending the kind of games proposed
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 8/14/2018 3:59 PM |
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# 1816 Real Blessings
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Q. Do you say this bracha (meshane habrios, see question 1816 above) when watching a match on a screen?
A. On question 1712 regarding reciting the blessing of birchas hailonos on flowering trees, we wrote; Ateres Paz (p. 224) quotes Horav O. Yosef zt’l that one recites birchas hailonos when observing the flowering fruit trees using binoculars or a monocular tube. Avnei Chen (26: 20), distinguishes between simple straight telescopes and the more evolved instruments that employ mirrors and the reflection of prisms. Pesach Hadbir (224: 10) equally permits their use for the brocho recited on a king.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar. The Rov also wrote a teshuva in Maayanei Shlomo (O.H. 77) in regards to different halachos involved in the use of mirrors and lenses.
Poskim therefore agree that watching any phenomena were we recite a special brocho on, is limited to only seeing it directly and not in a screen or a picture. (Betzel Hachochmo 2: 16, Piskei Teshuvos 224: 12).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 8/14/2018 3:53 PM |
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Important Numbers
