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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 2403 A Shiva Teshuva
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Q. My young husband died R'L recently leaving our two children not yet bar mitzva. I was told that they don't have to sit shiva. Why isn't there a mitzva of chinuch do educate them as there is on all other mitzvos? What if they want to keep shiva and other avelut traditions, are they allowed?
A. Poskim disagree if a kattan is obligated to keep the Halachos of avelus, Rokeach (314), Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 396: 3), Dagul Merbaba, Nekudos Hakessef (Y.D 340), Shaarei Deah, Beis Hilel (ibid. 381), et al. maintain that they don't have to. The reason given is that it would prevent them from learning Torah and therefore there is no mitzva of chinuch. Shivas Tzion (quoted by Pischei Teshuva 396: 2) mentions that chinuch applies only when the father is alive. See above in regard to a daughter.
Others maintain that they should be trained to keep them. (Drishah 340 quoted by Taz 340: 15, see Kol Bo on Avelus p. 272, and others.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that there is no obligation for the young to observe any of the customs of avelus. Although, they could do so voluntarily if they wanted, it is not recommended as learning Torah is for them primordial.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 11/8/2019 12:23 AM |
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# 2402 Don't Marry the Grandparents
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Q. I'm a frum young woman that is having a hard time finding a shiduch. Hopefully Hashem send me the right kind of possible chosson that actually meets most of my expectations. He is a Ben Torah that learned in great yeshivos, and also has a good parnassah. The only drawback is that he is the son of German converts who became frum and made aliyah. Their parents (his grandparents on both sides), were real nazis, members of the party and worked for them. But some of their children ashamed of their past went the other extreme.
I once learned in seminar that Amalek nation still exist in our days and it is defined by our Gedolim as the ones that follow their ways. If that is the case, would I not be marrying into descendants of Amalek which is prohibited? Do we accept converts from Amalek? What about our children?
Please the answer is urgent.
A. See question bellow. Moadim Uzemanim (2: 164) maintains that even a true biological descendant of Amalek, if he truly repents and reproaches his previously cruel and brutal principles and beliefs he is not considered Amalek anymore, especially if he converts to Judaism. He thus explains why our Sages teach that the descendants of Haman, taught Torah in Benei Berak;
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar, therefore you are permitted to marry the chosson you describe.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 11/6/2019 12:35 AM |
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# 2401 What's in a Name?
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Q. Do geirim have ruach hakodesh (like parents) when choosing their name?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it stands to reason that if a ger has the right kavana and intention when choosing the new name, after praying truly and sincerely for Hashem's help and consulting with his Rabbi, mentor and family, Siata Dishmaya or heavenly help will be granted to choose properly.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 11/1/2019 4:12 PM |
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# 2400 Sukka Trained Pet?
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Q. Re - 2390. Would it be permitted to have pets, such as dogs and cats, to come in to the succah?
What if someone is very attached to them?
A. On question 905 regarding one attending a neighborhood Simchas Bais Hashoeva and a neighbor walked in in the sukkah with his friendly, well behaved but rather large family dog, that did not seem to bother anyone and trilled the children. was it correct to bring in a dog to a sukkah. We wrote: "On question 861 on this forum, in regards to a seeing eye dog to go up the bimah when the blind owner is given an aliyah,...
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit”a opinion is that in principle if one owns a dog that freely and constantly roams around his house, he would be allowed to be in the suka too, as this complies with “teshvu ke'in toduru,” dwell in you suka, as you would in your house. However, it is commendable to create and maintain a higher spirit of kedusha in the suka than in the house.
On entering someone else suka with a dog, he should ask permission first. As in previous question; the most important issue is to avoid this becoming a source of machlokes and conflict or for the ba'al habbais to publicly embarrass his guest.
The Rov maintains that in principle the same applies in your case. However, when the attachment to the animals is great, there is more room for leniency.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 11/1/2019 12:47 AM |
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# 2399 The Gift of Giving Gifts
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Q. I purchased the first inaugural paroches at two different minyanim... and dedicated them in memory of grandparents. Both times, the person in charge made an announcement that they are seeking a donor and I immediately said yes, pledged and paid in full. What are my rights when the minyan seeks to replace the paroches? What if the minyan replaced the paroches without consulting me?
A. It may well depend on what is the usual custom of that institution in regard to donated items and how long they are kept, as established practices do vary between institutions.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a suggested that you may take back your poroches and donate it to other institutions.
As is usual in questions that involve two or more parties, the Rov recommends calling on a local competent Rov that can hear all sides and their claims.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/29/2019 11:42 PM |
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# 2398 Don't Tear Out Your Hair
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Q. Sometimes my glasses get stuck to a hair. Am I allowed to remove the glasses on Shabbos, even though I am pulling out a hair along with it?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if it is not a necessary and unavoidable "p'sik reisha" that a hair will be pulled out, it may be permitted since you have no intention of tearing any hair (eino miskaven).
The Rov recommended, to have someone else remove the glasses for you when stuck in your hair, as he may be able to see and assess better the situation and probabilities, and thus carefully avoid tearing any hairs when removing the glasses.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/29/2019 5:30 PM |
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# 2397 Hang On to Your Own Hat
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Q. If one realizes during SE (Shemone Ezre) that he is wearing a hat that is not his own, what should he do? (accidentally took someone else's hat) Should he leave during SE and put back the hat? Or should he put it back only after davening? May he walk in front of a person who is davening to put it back? Does he need to ask mechila from the person whose hat he took (no idea who it is as there is no name), or can he just put it back)? Maybe he should put up a sign asking?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one may assume that given the circumstances of one already reciting the amida, that the owner of the hat may prefer the unintentional borrower to finish his amida and also not transgress on walking in front of someone davening shemone-esreh, while wearing his hat. The Rov added that the above may apply only to one who davens a normal amida and not to an extended long one, as people do mind others wearing hats and clothing that can be infused and permeated with their sweat. He also recommended if possible, to take off the hat immediately and placing it next to him, during the amida.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/29/2019 5:12 PM |
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# 2396 Question the Questionable Sukka
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Q. One who is eating invited by a family on Sukkos and upon arriving sees that their sukkah is not halachically valid or is questionable and he does not wish to eat in such a sukkah, what should he do? Just leave? (For example, they were using sheets as the walls of the sukkah, or other things that make the sukkah halachically problematic).
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shli'a opinion is that there are many likely possibilities and feasible variables, such as the host is friendly and humble and will not be offended if informed of the problematic issue, then one should merit him and his family with the correct Halacha advice.
Otherwise, one may just accept a drink or fruits etc. claiming he is not hungry etc., so he wont insult his host.
The Rov also mentioned that using sheets as sukka walls, although not recommended on the onset, may not necessarily disqualify the sukka, as it depends on the quantity of sway on a common wind and if they lift from the ground three tefochim. (See Mishna Berura 630: 48 and Piskei Teshuvos ibid.: 9).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/29/2019 12:01 AM |
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# 2395 A Bite to Eat
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Q. Is it permitted on Simchas Torah to wash and have a small seuda (with bread and a little fish) before hakafos and Mussaf, in order to comply with Rav Miller's opinion that the seudas Yom Tov should be held before chatzos?
A. On question 2083 regarding Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion to start the Shabbos day seuda before chatzos, we wrote that it also applies to Yom Tov, even when it does not coincide with Shabbos, and an effort should be done to start the seuda before chatzos if possible.
The Rov maintains that one may indeed eat a small private seuda if it does not disturb the others attending and one does not miss Kerias Hatorah and Mussaf. (Some may add also after having a hakofo).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/28/2019 11:52 PM |
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# 2394 A Guest For a Rainy Day
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Q. If one was invited on Sukkos and when he arrives the family are eating in the house since at the time they started their meal it was raining, but now (when the guest arrives) it is perfectly clear, what should the guest do? Should he demand that they serve him in the sukkah, even though the Torah does not obligate them to go back to the sukkah?
A. Mishna Berura (639: 38) indeed rules that once they have started eating inside the house due to the rain, they don't have to return to the sukka when the rain stops.
Although, the host may decide to return to the sukka in honor of his guest, the guest cannot demand he should do so. He may also instead just drink and eat fruits or foods that don't require a sukka.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that this case may be similar to travelers, that in need are exempt from eating and sleeping in the sukka, as they qualify to be called "mitztaer" or pained and hurt by having to find one.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/28/2019 11:38 PM |
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# 2393 Good Will or Asleep at the Wheel?
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Q. A mashgiach caught a few times daydreaming and being lax in his supervision of a shul's kitchen was re-accepted if he would keep a number of takanot and improvements, such as being always on time and alert, making the rounds, being also from the first ten at the minyan and attending daily a shiur of Halacha. Since it is difficult to ascertain if he is daydreaming or alert, will the fact that he keeps the rest of the accepted improvements enough to keep him in his position?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that indeed, certainly in principle, the fact that he has kept well the accepted takanot and improvements shows that he likely has changed his behavior in general, and it is a good sign of betterment and advance.
However, when dealing with kashruth, the issues may be more complex and a competent Rov familiar with the installation and the particular problems involved should be consulted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/25/2019 4:24 PM |
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# 2392 Doing The Honors
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Q. If one could not comply with this mitzva (Kabbolas Pnei Horav - visiting or calling on one's Rov during a Chag - see question 2391 above), during Yom Tov, can one do so on Isru Chag (the day after Yom Tov)?
A. Poskim disagree when a Rov visits Eretz Yisroel, if a local talmid that only keeps one day of Yom Tov and is now celebrating Isru Chag, should call on his Rov that keeps two days. Betzel Hachochma maintains he should, while Beer Moshe writes he does not have to.
In the opposite case. when the Rov celebrates Yisru Chag, and the talmid is still on Yom Tov, Beer Moshe maintains he is exempt while Betzel Hachochma, Teshuvos Vehanhogos, and R"Ch Kanievsky Shlit'a opine he could. (See Taarich Yisroel p. 820).
Moreover, Moadim Uzemanim (4: 317) opines that there is tashlumin (repayment) for seven days after Yom Tov for this mitzva too. (See Piskei Teshuvos 494: 9).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that the tashlumim may apply only on Shavuos. (as the Moadim Uzemanim also mentions). However, other inyonim and issues such as Kavod Hatorah,
honoring and learning it, may also apply on Isru Chag.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/25/2019 10:44 AM |
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# 2391 In Respect to Paying Respect
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Q. Can one comply with the mitzva of Kabbolas Pnei Horav (visiting or calling on one's Rov during a Chag) by calling on the phone during Chol Hamoed, when it was difficult to visit personally?
A. Poskim disagree whether the mitzva of Kabbolas Pnei Horav Baregel is Biblical (Sdei Chemed - Cheis: 100, quoting Bnei Yehuda) or Rabbinical (Shaar Efraim 38 and others).
They also disagree whether it applies in our days. Shulchan Aruch omits it. Noda Beyehuda (2: O.H. 4) maintains that it does not. Orchos Rabbenu also asserts that it refers only to Rabo Mubak or prime teacher and in our times we learn mostly from seforim.
However, Yaaros Devash (1: 12), Kabo Dekushyiso (81) and others opine that it does apply.
Halichos Chaim (2: p. 100) quoting R"Ch Kanievsky Shlit'a is of the opinion that you do not comply by calling on the phone.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that in principle we follow the opinion of the Noda Beyehuda (ibid.), however there are other "inyonim" and important issues involved such as Kavod Hatorah, honoring and learning it; and these can be complied with even in our days and even by calling in.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/25/2019 10:40 AM |
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# 2390 The Shade of Honor
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Q. Re- above question 2389. Would the Rov permit the use of a sukka as a family room or a toy room, where children play and rejoice together?
A. As in the above question, the Rov's opinion is that great decorum, honor and respect has to be maintained in a sukka where the presence of the Shechina is manifest and received. (Horav Dovid Pam Shlit'a mentioned that a good way to measure what is proper in a suka. is by thinking if the invited Ushpizin (the Patriarchs) would feel honored and comfortable visiting it).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/25/2019 2:04 AM |
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# 2389 Swimming in the Sukka?
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Q. We enjoy warm climate during sukkos and we spend a good time at the pool and at our hot tub during chol hamoed. Since we are all dressed properly for swimming, would it be correct to build a suka covered with palm leaves and with side curtain walls on top of the pool or tub, so we can comply with this important mitzva for hours? I have seen many Bnei Torah learn a sefer, wear tzitzis and recite brochos while at the (separated) pools and beaches of kosher hotels. Why should this mitzva be any different?
A. On question1076 regarding reciting brochos and learning Torah while sunbathing at a separate beach or swimming pool area, when just wearing a bathing suit and having the head covered, we wrote: "Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 74: 6) rules that for the sake of reciting the shema it suffices if one covers downwards from his loins. Therefore if one also covers his head in principle he can recite brochos and learn Torah while wearing only a bathing-suit. However, Mishna Berura (ibid. 22) rules that this is only when in need. On the onset, one should wear a robe or cover with a towel, when making a brocho and certainly when reading the shema. One should also be careful to wash and maintain the hands clean when reciting the brocho, since touching body parts that are usually covered renders them unfit.
In regards to learning Torah or reading Torah related material while sunbathing and being dressed only in a bathing-suit and wearing a kipa, Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that for learning Torah when in need, you don’t have to cover completely."
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that although, if one would eat or spend time there, one would indeed comply with this mitzva, however, in regard to the mitzva of Sukkos that is called "Tziloh Demeheimenusso," or seating at the shade of the Shechina, and requires great respect and devotion, the Rov maintains that it is improper to do so in the above circumstances.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/25/2019 1:59 AM |
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# 2388 To Learn or To Dance?
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Q. Can a group that learns the daf daily do so during lengthy hakofes on Simchas Torah, after having had their hakofe, if the shiur is held in a separate room?
A. On question 1473 regarding learning during hakafos we wrote: "Mishna Berura (669: 11) conveys the great importance and significance of dancing, singing and rejoicing with the Torah when honoring the Torah is required, as it is mentioned when Dovid Hamelech conduced the Aron Hakodesh to Yerushalaim (Shmuel 2: 6: 14) “Dovid danced with all his might before Hashem.” He quotes that the Arizal would say, he merited to the most elevated spiritual heights only because he rejoiced and danced with the Torah. Similarly, the Gaon of Vilna zt”l would place all of his effort when dancing and rejoicing on Simchas Torah. The Rambam (end of H. Lulav) also describes amply the great obligation one has to rejoice and dance with the Torah.
Haelef Lecha Shlomo (37), rules that it is prohibited for someone to decline or reject being given an hakkafa, as it is akin to refusing to take an aliya, when one is called to the reading of the Torah. (See Brachos 55a, that such behavior shortens one's life time).
However, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that once one has complied with the above, and it is difficult for him to continue, he should definitely rather learn, than just squander time."
The Rov maintains that this is certainly more correct when one is dealing with the Talmud Torah of rabbim or many as in a daf shiur.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/25/2019 1:51 AM |
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# 2387 If it Ain't Broke...
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Q. A Sefer Torah that is constantly read on Parshas Pinchas and was found to have at least three letters where the ink cracked and fell turning the Sefer pasul, can you just fix the letters erased on that parsha or do you have to check now the complete Sefer Torah?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if the Sefer was used mainly to be read on Yom Tov or similar occasions when we read Parshas Pinchas, it is likely that the extended use of that particular parsha created the problem and the rest of the Sefer does not have to be checked, if there was no information that other locations have been affected. However, Parshas Pinchas and other neighboring areas that could have been damaged by the extended use, should be inspected and fixed properly.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/24/2019 11:03 PM |
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#2386 Asking About Asking
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Q. Can one enter the unlocked suka of a friendly neighbor built on his front yard, without his knowledge (he is not home), to eat one's own food and leaving everything as clean as it was?
A. Remah (O.H. 627: 3) rules that on the onset, one should not enter the sukka of a friend without his permission. Mishna Berura (ibid. 9) maintains that one may enter if he knows that the owner is not present and will not be arriving while he uses the sukka, and be disturbed by his presence. This permission is based on the principle that a person agrees that a mitzva should be performed with his property, as long as there is no loss (see question 1559).
Kaf Chachaim (ibid. 15) asserts that if the suka is well decorated and contains chairs with pillows and fresh tablecloths, one should not enter without asking permission.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar in case of need.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/24/2019 10:08 PM |
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# 2385 Pictures Worth Some Words
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Q. My siblings want to interchange some family pictures from our grandfathers that we place as decorations in our sukkos. (We give them ours and take theirs). Is that permitted during Chol Hamoed?
A. Poskim disagree if one can remove from the sukka decorations that will not be used anymore during sukkos, without any need or reason. (Shoel Umeshiv 3: 28, Lehoros Nossan 7: 48-49).
However, they permit placing them in another sukka (Tzitz Eliezer 13: 67, see Piskei Teshuvos 638: 6).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/24/2019 9:42 PM |
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# 2384 A Cloud With a Silver Lining
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Q. I have learned that the Ananei Kavod would launder and press the clothing of the Bnai Yisroel while on the desert, how could then they exit their tents and go to the Mishkan on Shabbath?
A. Rashi on the posuk (Devarim 8: 4) " Simloscho - Your clothing did not wear out upon you," quotes the Pesikta that teaches: "The clouds of honor would rub their clothes and clean them so that they looked freshly laundered."
Ohr Hatorah (Eikev p. 364) mentions that during their forty-year stay in the desert, the people did not change their clothing at all, even for Shabbos, since the ananei kavod would make them look like new constantly. It is possible that this did not occur during Shabbos, similar to the mon that did not descend on that day.(Both are mentioned in adjoining psukim).
On question 316 regarding drinking from Miriam’s well on Shabbos, in which a Midrash teaches that water did not constantly flow from the well, as it only came when people came close to it. If so should it not be prohibited on Shabbat as it would be similar to a motion detector
To what we answered: It is difficult to envision what would be the Biblically prohibited melocho involved when making the water flow. Even if there is one, Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a explained that anything that works by the powers of a miracle is not included in the prohibitions of Shabbos. (Horav Dovid Pam Shlit'a added that the effects of the Ananei Kavod may not be subject to going out of one's tent at all).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/24/2019 4:31 PM |
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Important Numbers
