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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 3394 Feast of Reason
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Q. (See questions 3390 - 93 above) Is the tradition of Thanksgiving different in Canada than in the U.S. besides the date. Is the origin of the Canadian Thanksgiving religious, since it may have been instituted by the church and therefore should not be celebrated at all?
A. Canadian Thanksgiving happens a full month and a half before American.
The Old Farmer's Almanac mentions that the tradition of Thanksgiving originated with the harvest festival—an autumnal celebration meant to show appreciation for the bountiful harvest of the season. However, Canadian Thanksgiving was originally less about celebrating the harvest and more about thanking G-d for keeping early explorers safe as they ventured into the New World.
In that sense of “thanks-giving,” the earliest report of such a dinner dates back to 1578, when English explorer Martin Frobisher and his crew held a special meal to thank G-d for granting them safe passage through northern North America, into what is today the Canadian Territory of Nunavut.
The first Thanksgiving after Canadian Confederation didn’t happen until April 1872, when the holiday was observed to celebrate the recovery of the Prince of Wales from a serious illness.
Since the beginning of the Thanksgiving holiday, its date has moved several times—from mid-week in April to a Thursday in November—until 1957, when the Canadian government officially declared that Thanksgiving would occur on the second Monday in October. This ensured that Thanksgiving and another Canadian holiday, Remembrance Day (November 11), would no longer overlap.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that regardless of what may have been the origin of that day, it is not considered a religious holiday in our days and the same Halacha as in the U.S. would apply.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/14/2021 10:49 PM |
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# 3393 Crash the Party
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Q. See questions 3390, 91, 92 above. 3) Often my parents invite a neighbor family to join our Thanksgiving party. They are Frum people born in Latin America and they said that in their tradition they celebrate Columbus Day. Is there a problem inviting them?
A. In Latin American counties such as Mexico Thanksgiving is not celebrated. For decades, Native American groups and their allies have protested the holiday. But much like Columbus Day, Thanksgiving is also controversial and considered by some to be a “national day of mourning” or a celebration of the genocide of Native Americans by colonizers. Therefore, there should not be any problem with inviting friends from those countries.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/14/2021 10:34 PM |
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# 3392 Set the Agenda
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Q. Since you mentioned that Igros Moshe warns that one should not make Thanksgiving an established holiday that we must keep, can the Calendar from a religious school show that day as Remembrance,Victoria and Labour days are showed?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that mentioning that it is a civil holiday in which Government, Banks and Post Offices etc. are mostly closed does not reflect on the establishment of that day as a Jewish holiday.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/14/2021 10:19 PM |
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# 3391 Go Cold Turkey?
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Q. See question 3390 above. 2) Is it permitted to eat a roasted turkey on Thanksgiving?
A. Poskim disagree. Rivevos Efraim, and Rabbi Yehuda Hertzl Henkin. (Bnei Banim 3,:37), explain that Thanksgiving is “only a day of thanks and not, Heaven forbid, for idol celebration”. Therefore, they maintain that merely eating turkey on Thanksgiving cannot be considered Chukos HaGoyim.
However, other contemporary authorities disagree. Rav Yitzchok Hutner is quoted as maintaining that the establishment of Thanksgiving as an annual holiday that is based on the Christian calendar is, at the very least, closely associated with Avodah Zarah and therefore prohibited. He explains that its annual observance classifies it as a ‘holiday’ and celebrating Gentile holidays is obviously not permitted. (Pachad Yitzchak - Igros U’Michtavim 109).
Horav Avigdor Miller is known to have been a strong proponent of this view as well, as he maintained that Thanksgiving’s origins indicate that it was actually established as a religious holiday.(See Ohr. Edu)
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is in principle to be stringent. However, in need as in your case, when you are trying to maintain the Sholom Bais of your closely united family when you are also trying to be mekarev them and do Teshuva, there is room for leniency.
We may add, that since in Canada Thanksgiving coincides this year with the first Monday of Beha'b, and those are days of Teshuva and Selichos (some also fast), it would be better to join your family at the evening after the end of the day.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/14/2021 10:13 PM |
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# 3390 Thanks But No Thanks?
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Q. I'm a Baal Teshuva that belongs to a family still in the process of Kiruv and becoming close to Hashem. We are a closely united family and we try to maintain seriously that Shalom Bait.
We usually, as far as I can remember, celebrated Thanksgiving as a day of the family rejoicing together.
I have a number of questions regarding Thanksgiving.
1) Can I join my family on this occasion? It would be very detrimental if I won't.
A. It is interesting to note that, some argue that Thanksgiving may have "Jewish" roots. The Pilgrims based Thanksgiving on the Torah (Bible), in which G-d commands us Jews to celebrate the Harvest Festival. This festival is called Succot, the Festival of Booths, which Jews have been celebrating for several thousand years.
Igros Moshe (E.H.:2: 13:, O.H. 5: 20: 6) in his early Teshuvos rules that it is prohibited to celebrate Thanksgiving. Nevertheless he maintains that if one is observing a proper Simcha such as a Bar Mitzva or a wedding, one cannot prohibit the celebration if it coincides with Thanksgiving. However he adds that Baalei Nefesh (people with a soul) should be even then stringent.
On later Teshuvos, (Y.D. 4: 11: 4 and 12), he became lenient and opines that it is not prohibited. Likely, it had become clearly a non-religious day, that was not sponsored by the church.. He warns that one should not make that day an established holiday that we must keep.
Similarly, on Y.D. 4: 57: 11, he reiterates the rule of not adding new Yomim Tovim and celebrations to our calendar. This principle is echoed by many other Poskim (Minchas Yitzchok 10: 10, Yabea Omer O.H. 6: 41: 6, Teshuvos Vehanhogos 2: 721 and others). See next question
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/14/2021 10:06 PM |
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# 3389 Walk The Talk
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Q. There is a Baal Teshuva that is fully integrated into the Haredi community with the exception of the fact that he cannot learn in Lashon Hakodesh and only learns from English sefarim (translated Gemara, Mishna Berura, sefarim on halacha). Other than that, he is fully Haredi. He was offered to join a Baal Teshuva yeshiva where they will be able to help him with kriah skills.
However, he feels uncomfortable in that yeshiva, after visiting, as the ruach (spirit) of the yeshiva talmidim is not Haredi (not people who daven with a hat and jacket, people that are still living a goyishe lifestyle to a degree, perhaps bachurim that have earrings). He generally davens with a hat and jacket and follows all the hanhagos (traditions) of regular yeshivish people. Should he attend that yeshiva or rather stay in the Haredi yeshiva that he learns in now and find a different way to master kriah?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that he should remain at the Haredi Yeshiva and get himself someone to teach him how to read and Lashon Hakodesh.
(He may benefit also from using Siddurim with phonetics).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/14/2021 10:00 PM |
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# 3388 The Easy Minyan?
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Q. An individual that comes to our shul suffers from a Multiple Personality Disorder. Although he can basically take care of himself, we are not sure if we should give him an aliya or even count him as part of the minyan. What is Horav Miller's opinion?
A. Dissociative Identity Disorder, as this mental health condition is also known, represents the one having two or more separate personalities. These identities control a person's behavior at different times and to a degree is surprisingly quite common. This shaila is addressed widely for many situations and by many Poskim.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that for the purpose of counting him for minyan and giving him an aliya, it suffices if he legally can sign a document or a cheque and it would be valid.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/14/2021 9:35 PM |
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# 3387 Out of One's Hair
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Q. If someone combs his hair, touches it or his beard and some hair comes off, does he have to wash his hands three times using a vessel as after having a haircut?
A. Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 4: 19) writes that one who cuts his hair has to wash Netilas Yodaim and if he does not he will be in fear for three days.
Teshuvos Vehanhogos (O.H. 2: 5) writes in regard to cutting a bit of hair during the "Chalaka" tradition of cutting the hair of a three year old. The minhag is that different people are honored to cut a bit of the hair, and they don't have to wash Netilas Yadaim after, as when giving someone a regular haircut, since it is only a small amount of hair.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is also similar and only when trimming one's hair or beard Netilas Yodaim is required.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/10/2021 5:40 PM |
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# 3386 Bring Back to Life?
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Q. I'm a Frum physician that was called out on Shabbat to travel and attend a suicidal woman that poisoned herself by swallowing a large amount of pills. Since this person had given up on her own life, as can be read in the letter she left, did I have to desecrate Shabbos on her behalf (I was close by)? Could I have referred her to other medics and emergency services?
A. Hochmas Shlomo (O.H. 329: 1) debates the issue and leans to opine that one should not desecrate Shabbos to save one that wants to terminate his life.
Minchas Chinuch (Kometz Lemincho 237) compares the above to the obligation of returning an item lost (Hashovas Aveida), that does not apply when the owner willingly wishes to get rid of his property. He goes even further and mentions that even when not Shabbos, one is not required to interfere.
However, other Poskim disagree. (Birkei Yosef - O.H. 301: 6), Maharil Diskin - Tesh. 2: 5:34, Chelkas Yaakov 1: 72, Tzitz Eliezer 8: 15, and others. See also Igrois Moshe (O.H. 1: 127 - Y.D. 2: 174).
Out of my personal experience since having attended an average of 2 or 3 suicides a year while being Chief Rabbi in Mexico, the vast majority are people who attempt or commit suicide are in a relatively extreme degree of distress, pain and fear and should therefore not be considered at that time to be "Lodaas" or willing and conscious of their actions.
See a similar opinion in Nishmas Avrohom (p. 169).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is also similar and anyone should do whatever they can to save that life even during Shabbos.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2021 11:07 PM |
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# 3385 Will Cause Eyebrows to Rise
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Q. Regarding question 3384 above. Recently the Rov mentioned in a shiur the prohibition for men to trim his eyebrows as women do. What happens if a man is taking a haircut, and without him noticing the barber begins to trim his eyebrows, can he let him continue since he has already started and is doing it out of his own will and was not asked to do so? Is that similar to the policeman writing the answers in the question above?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is not similar at all, since the policeman is writing for his own need and benefit. The barber however, although he was not asked to do so, he is still doing it for his client's benefit and therefore he should protest.
It is important to mention that on question 563 regarding if a man can trim his eyebrows if they are unruly and get into his eyes or if his wife asks him to do so, we wrote: "Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 182: 1) rules on the prohibition to remove bodily hair growth. However Mordechai (Shabbos 50: 327) permits in cases of great discomfort or pain. Avnei Yoshfe (Y.D. 91) accordingly permits trimming eyebrows, adding that women pluck those hairs and do not usually trim them.
Nishmas Avrohom (Y.D. 182 p. 140) quoting Horav S.Z. Auerbach Zt”l that permits the removal of embarrassing excessive hair between the eyebrows. Similarly Levush Malchus (4: 13) permits trimming with scissors, but not plucking with pincers. (See also Chevel Nachalaso 13, Birchas Yehudah (Y.D. 9) and other Poskim quoted in their notes for comparable opinions. See also Bava Kama 117a, that Rebbi Yochanan had very long eyebrows that covered his eyes)
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that the eyebrows can be trimmed for the sake of one being able to see properly but not with the exactness and meticulousness typical in women’s facial treatment."
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2021 10:55 PM |
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# 3384 Ask and Tell
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Q. When exiting shul after davening on Shabbos we witnessed a severe car accident in front of the shul and a victim died. Police arrived immediately and began asking questions from the standby witnesses, writing their names, what they saw and where they could be contacted. They wrote the answers. Was it permitted for us to answer, when the officers were writing the answers during Shabbos?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is permitted, since you are not telling them to write the answers and they are doing it for themselves and for their own benefit.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2021 10:46 PM |
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# 3383 An Early Night?
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Q In our Shul we daven these days Mincha before the Shekia and Maariv right after. Sometimes, the Shaliach Tzibur davens Mincha fast and we may end up having to start Maariv, a few minutes before the Shekia.
Is saying the Shir Hamaalos and following pesukim, before Vehu Rachum and Kaddish part of Maariv, or can that be said even before the Shekiah?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that these verses can be said before the Shekiah. In principle the Rov maintains that Maariv refers basically to the Amida.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2021 10:41 PM |
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# 3382 Most Eloquent Silence
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Q 3. (See questions 3379 - 80 above) Could I rotate the hours of the Tzom Dibbur, or do they have to be static, for example, from 8am to 10am?
A. On question 3354 regarding how to tell others that one is engaged in a Taanis Dibbur we wrote: Some Tzadikim like Horav Sholom Schwadron zt'l who often kept a Taanis Dibbur, would simply keep on repeating the Tehilim that they said by heart and just pointed to their mouths. The ones who were familiar with him, understood that it was one of the occasions of Taanis Dibbur.
It is interesting to mention that Horav Schwadron, was one of the most popular speakers and a true master of words, yet it is known that he did not speak on Monday and Thursday and often Shabbos as well. In addition, during the forty days from Rosh Chodesh Elul to Yom Kippur, he never uttered a word except for davening or learning.
See also question 487 regarding the redeeming a fast for the dropping Tefilin. Chaim Shoal (1: 12), maintains that the aged or ill, can redeem that fast if it will affect their learning, by keeping a Taanis Dibbur (restrain from speaking non- Torah conversations) for a day.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that as mentioned above one may accept this important type of fasting, according to what one is able to do.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2021 10:36 PM |
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# 3381 Fighting Talk
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Q.2. (See question 3380 above) As I have to deal with my husband's caregivers, and they look for instructions, could I interrupt the Tzom just to give short and to the point instructions and then continue, or do I have to start all over again?
A. Horav Chaim Kanievsky Shlit'a (Shoneh Halachos, Moadim, 572: 10, page 217, n. 2) is quoted as ruling that one need only refrain from “idle words.” However, if one must speak to perform a Chesed, act of help to others or other important matters, he may speak up. Furthermore, he concludes that if one’s wife requires some conversation, this, too, is not forbidden.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that when one takes on to follow this tradition, one should specify that it carries these exceptions. As mentioned above all should be accepted "Beli Nedder."
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2021 10:28 PM |
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# 3380 Fast Talk
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Q. I have been doing Tzom Dibbur (a fast or a day of restriction on speaking) on Yom Kippur for several years. This year, I decided to do a Tzom Dibbur for part of the day every day, and I have some questions:
1). May I do a Tzom Dibur every day for just a couple of hours a day?
A. Mishna Berura (571: 2) quotes that when one desires to accept a day of fasting for redemption or Teshuva, it is better to take on a Taanis Dibbur and abstain from talking anything besides Tefilah and Torah. He adds that from this type of fasting one does not risk any health issues and bodily weaknesses.
He also mentions the letter of the Gaon of Vilna, namely: “Until the day one passes from this world, one should deprive himself, but not necessarily from food or other basic necessities, but by controlling one's mouth and desires, which is actually the foundation of Teshuvah. This is more powerful than any fasting and self-imposed suffering, and every moment that a person closes his mouth, he merits the ‘hidden light’ that no angel or living being can even imagine.”
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one can accept a Taanis Dibbur even for a few hours a day and it carries the equivalent benefit given to them.
One has to be careful to say "Beli Nedder" or no promises, oaths or wows are being taken before any such acceptance.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2021 10:11 PM |
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# 3379 Oppose or Attract?
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Q. When I come (to shul to be) from the Assara Rishonim there is a person who comes and tells me Lashon Hara and disturbs my learning. Is it better to come later, since If I refuse to listen to him he will get offended and he is lonely with no family.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that you should explain to him carefully and nicely the terrible sins involved when speaking Lashon Horaa and engaging in Bitul Torah.
In addition, you may offer him to learn a bit with him at that time.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2021 10:05 PM |
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# 3378 Is Early Better than First?
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Q. On question 2998 regarding if it is better to be from the Assara Rishonim or to daven Vasikin. you wrote: "Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is preferred to daven Vasikin (at sunrise), than being from the first ten, when there is no better choice.
Yet on question 3361regarding if davening Vasikin (praying at sunrise) in a minyan of 13 people on Yom Kippur would override being from the Asara Rishonim (First Ten) in a Yeshiva minyan where 500 people will come after me, you wrote: "Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that It is better to daven properly with the right Torah crowd and feelings at the Yeshiva minyan. Besides, by being also from the first ten, one would be entitled to a similar reward given to the all so many.
The Rav told me before that vasikin has precedence over Assara Rishonim. Did the Rav change his mind, or rather there are other factors that make Assara Rishonim the better choice?
A. As is obvious from the answer above it all depends on the factors involved.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2021 9:56 PM |
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# 3377 Inviting Ghosts to the Feast?
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I heard recently (Izkor Shemini Atzeres) from our Rabbi that we invite during Izkor the Neshamot (souls) of our parents and grandparents and other dear ones to come join us and share the Yom Tov with us. I honestly think it is a very weird and bizarre idea to say the least. Before I challenge him, since he is a Talmid Chacham I would like to know your open minded opinion if there is a chance he is right. Is there?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a in principle did agree with you. However, the fact is we do invite during Sukkos the Ushppizin (souls of the Seven Fathers of our Nation) to join us. Some even have the minhag to set an empty chair for them to sit in the Sukka.
It reminds us of Kisso Shel Eliahu Hanavi, or the chair set in every Bris Milah for Eliahu Hanavi to join us and also sit with us, or the cup of wine we prepare for him to drink during the Seder of Pesach, when we open the door for him to enter and share with us.
There are many reliable stories of people who were actually saved by long gone Tzadikim that came to their rescue and gave them the right advise or help in times of great need.
Searching further, I encountered a similar idea in the Drashos El Ami (1: 23) by Horav Amiel zt'l, (Rav Harashi of Tel Aviv - Yafo) that we do invite the long gone souls to be with us during Izkor.
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Posted 10/3/2021 3:19 PM |
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# 3376 It All Adds Up
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Q. During Simchat Torah due to the lack of space, we had to serve Kiddush inside the large Suka that we have in our shul. Is there a problem of "Baal Tosiff" or adding to the mitzvot that Hashem gave us, since we do not sit anymore in the Sukka on that day? Would it be sufficient to announce publicly that one should not have any intention of complying with this mitzva? Does one have to cover the Sukka also?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one may bring into the Sukka a disposal bin one is not allowed to have in the Sukka during the Yom Tov, and that suffices. (That is the procedure used at the Toronto Kollel itself)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/30/2021 10:43 PM |
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# 3375 Murky Waters?
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Q. I sleep in a Sukka with two other people but we have only one bowl for Negel Vasser. (Water to be used for washing hands when one wakes up. After washing the water is considered to possess a spirit of impurity). May I wash over the bowl and then leave it for the other ones to wash into when they awaken, or is it necessary to spill it out? Also I don't have access to the house so I can't spill it out right away.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one does not need to dispose immediately of that water and can be temporarily be left in the Sukka.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit’a
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Posted 9/30/2021 10:23 PM |
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Important Numbers
