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# 3302 The Responsible Party
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Q. I'm a caregiver for an elderly woman residing in an Old Age Home. I noticed that my client had scratches and bruises on her. Out of years of experience, I was reasonably certain that they were inflicted by the other caregivers that complement her care. I called the police, the did ask some questions, but were unable or unwilling to determine anything helpful. I feel responsible for my client, what can I do?
A. Since there is obviously a family member or members that hired you, are paying for the care, and are likely the responsible persons for your client, it stands to reason that you should make them aware of what is happening, and make them responsible for the outcome.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that them or you should set up recording cameras in all the areas she frequents.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 8/12/2021 9:37 PM |
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# 3301 Show How Much You Care
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Q. A Rov teaches a shiur in a Yeshiva and lost his father and is still within the year of Avelus. One of his close disciples is getting married in the near future and he feels that it is very important for him to be at the wedding and show how much he cares. Is he allowed to go, while he is still an Avel?
A. In principle he could just attend the Chupa and leave before the music and dancing begin. (See Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 391:3. Gesher Hachaim permits after Shloshim).
Horav Dovid Pam Shlit'a mentioned that he can also attend the Chosson's Tish and be a witness or read the Tenoim, if at that time there is no music.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Dovid Pam Shlit'a
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Posted 8/9/2021 6:14 PM |
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# 3300 The Double Pocket
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Q. Can someone carry in his pocket pages of Divrei Torah or a Siddur when he enters a bathroom?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a permits in principle since the pockets of jackets are made of double material.
However, as Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a told me, the Rosh Hakolel is stringent himself.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Dovid Pam and Horav Akiva Steinmetz Shlit'a
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Posted 8/5/2021 10:12 PM |
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# 3299 Not Enough Room
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Q. I have divided my garage in two and created an area of about 4 x 8 feet that had a separate door. I also keep there besides other items the garbage cans that are not always covered and there is also an odor. Do I have to place a mezuza?
A. The minimum size for placing a Mezuza in a room is 4 amos by 4 amos, equivalent to 36 square feet. The area of a room of 4x8 = 32 is not obliged on placing a Mezuza.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Dovid Pam and Horav Akiva Steinmetz Shlit'a
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Posted 8/5/2021 10:05 PM |
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# 3298 It Has Your Name On It
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Q. My son's wife when she became a Baalas Teshuva, she was a teenager and didn't know what her Hebrew name was, so she choose her own name as Rachel Leora - her parents recently discovered when they were clearing out their house after they sold it, that she was called Leah Alexandra when she was born in a Reform shul which makes sense as her English name Celia Alexandra. Does she have to change her Kesuva?
A. On question 438 regarding someone that was severely sick and a name was added, then he got B”H well, if he has to change his Kesuvah, we wrote: "Horav Itzchok Zilberstein Shlit”a in Aleinu Leshaveach (1 p. 611) rules that a Kesuva already written in the past does not have to be changed when a name is added, other Poiskim seem to agree (Avioh Segulos p. 468, Kuntres B’rich Rachmono 36 quoting the Steipler Gaon Zt’L, et al.).
Horav Refoel Alter Shmulevitz Shlit’a mentioned to me from his own experience that he was told by a Horav Yisroel Yaakov Fisher zt”l to change his Kesuva. (Horav Fisher, was supportive of name changing and choosing the right name as a segulah. Please note that any changes of a Kesuva, have to be done by a competent rabbinical authority)
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlita opinion is that an existing Kesuva does not have to be rewritten."
Horav Akiva Steinmetz Shlit'a added that the same would apply to one that through the years changed his/hers name simply by moving to another location or similar. The Kesuva is still valid, if that was the correct name at the time it was written.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Dovid Pam and Horav Akiva Steinmetz Shlit'a
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Posted 8/5/2021 10:01 PM |
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# 3297 Say it Right
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Q. A person drank wine and didn't have in mind other drinks that were not on the table. He then made a Shehakol on soda. Does he need to bless both al Hagefen and Bore Nefashos?
A. Mishna Berura (208: 72) rules that if the other drinks were not present at the time one recited the blessing on the wine or even if they were present but one did not have any intention to drink them, one has to recite both a separate first and last brocho. (See also Vesen Bracha p. 358).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Dovid Pam and Horav Akiva Steinmetz Shlit'a
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Posted 8/5/2021 9:52 PM |
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# 3296 No to the Noise
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Q. A person is davening and a moment after he started Shemone Essre, all the people in the minyan decided to go to a different location to daven because of noise disturbances, may he also go there? Does it make a difference if the noise bothers him also or if he would have extreme Agmas Nefesh (pain) and lack of kavana over having to daven beyechidus (alone)?
A. Poskim permit to move to another location after having started the Amida, when one finds it impossible or very difficult to concentrate, due to the noise created or the movement of people close by (Salmas Chaim 117). Or when it is too cold, too hot or a constant disturbing noise such as a ringing telephone, make it hard to maintain one's attention (Tefila Kehilchasa 12: 6, quoting Horav Eliashiv zt'l).
Poskim permit even taking a quick rest sitting down when one strongly needs it. (See Piskei Teshuvos (104: 3).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Dovid Pam and Horav Akiva Steinmetz Shlit'a
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Posted 8/5/2021 9:48 PM |
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# 3295 A Clean Break
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Q. Someone traveling by plane can he face the bathroom wall or door while davening?
A. See Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 83: 1). Mishna Berura (5) rules that one should not daven facing the walls of a bathroom. However, Igros Moshe (E.H. 1: 114), is lenient regarding our bathrooms since everything is flushed. He argues that the doors and walls are also usually made of two layers, with only the inside plate facing the bathroom.
Halichos Shlomo (19: 38), Shevet Halevi (4: 10) and others are also lenient.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a opinion is similar.
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Posted 8/3/2021 10:02 PM |
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# 3294 On Camera
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Q. Is it permitted to be an Uber driver if one has to drive women passengers at night in deserted streets. due to the prohibition of Yichud (seclusion) with individuals of the other gender?
How about a woman taking a similar ride even on a taxi. is that permitted?
A. Indeed it is a difficult situation to solve. Even during daytime the Uber car should not have tinted windows.
However, there is relief if the Uber driver places a video camera in his vehicle, as is common in similar situations.
On question 828 we wrote: "Horav Nissim Karelitz Shlit”a (quoted in Moriah-Elul 5771 p.146) maintains that security cameras are to be regarded as an open door to the street in regards to the Yichud prohibition, which the Node Beyihuda (E.H. 71) permits. He mentions that they do not have to be scrutinized on real time, as long as there is a possibility that the tape (or digital recording) could later be seen, it is an effective deterrent.
Minchas Ish (p. 267) permits yichud inside the safe deposit-box room in banks, due to the presence of security cameras. See also Nitey Gavriel (Yichud 45: 8 – p 283). See also questions 2666, 2252 and 2288.
As far as a woman traveling in a Taxi or an Uber in those conditions, we wrote in a similar question (828): "Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a has advised on similar situations to take your cell phone with you and leave it with the camera on facing you, while a friend is checking on you.
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Posted 8/3/2021 9:55 PM |
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# 3293 Cover Story
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Q. See question above. Can the same setting of a Mechitza made by people standing next to each other be used in the house of an Avel, where a minyan takes place, and some women present in the same living - dining room setting are not dressed for the occasion?
A. Horav Akiva Steinmetz Shlit'a maintains that this case is more acceptable than the case above, since in a house there is no need to place a proper Mechitza as one would have to do in a shul. Only the need of the present to daven when not facing women dressed improperly has to be met and that human Mechitza serves the purpose.
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Posted 8/3/2021 9:52 PM |
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# 3292 What a Cover Up!
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Q. Some cemeteries in Latin American cities, due to zoning restrictions, are located on very poor and crime ridden neighborhoods. It is not unusual to find garbage or feces thrown over even relative high fences. Can attendants to a Levaya or the unveiling of a Matzeiva that are close to that site, make a Mechitza by asking some of the attendants to line up with their backs to that location and cover the site, so Kaddish and other Tefilos and Tehilim can be said? Can those people forming the Mechitza also answer Kaddish?
A. See Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 82: 1, 83: 1) regarding the prohibition of davening or reciting Devarim Shebekdusha facing such a situation, and the Mechitza needed.
Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 630: 12) rules that one can place people to create a Mechitza that constitutes a missing wall of a Suka.
Har Tzvi (O.H.1: 86) indeed addresses our shailah and maintains that a Mechitza made of people can be placed for exactly that purpose. Furthermore, he maintains that the people forming that Mechitza, can also answer amen and participate in the ceremony.
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Posted 8/3/2021 9:44 PM |
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# 3291 True Undivided Love
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Q. Sefer Haikrim writes that true love is only when it is undivided and totally dedicated only to one entity. He thus explains the closeness and following of Hashem Echad, He is the only One with Veahavta, you shall love Him, in the parsha of Shema.
Shev Shematsa (introduction) further explains why before the Akeida, Hashem instructed Avraham Avinu to; 'Take your son, your only one, whom you love.' Then after he successfully passed the test, Hashem said to Avraham; 'For now I know that you are a G-d fearing man, and you did not withhold your son, your only one, from Me.' Now, Hashem omitted the words; 'whom you love.'
All the above indeed as said poses an incredibly difficult and exceptionally challenging question.
What is the Torah telling us? We should not love our spouses, our children, or our parents? What about other things in life we like and love, maybe some special food, a nice abode, a great vacation, etc. etc. Is that all forbidden since our love should be totally dedicated and undivided to Hashem? Could we survive that?
A. The answer must be that what the Sefer Haikrim refers to as the true love that has to be undivided and totally dedicated to Hashem, also includes all the rest of other loves. These are not separate feelings and emotions, but are a part of our recognition of Hashem's love and care for us and also is an integral component of appreciating Hashem's goodness and love. All these are the cause and reason for our thanks and love to Him.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld
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Posted 8/3/2021 5:56 PM |
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# 3290 It's All About Love
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Q. Recently we learned in the parsha the greatest mitzva of loving Hashem mentioned in the Shema. How can one be commanded and compelled to love anything? After all love is fundamentally a feeling of the heart and emotion that you either have or you don't. How then can one be ordered to adore something he distastes, or to enjoy what one dislikes?
A. Rabi Akiva Eiger zt'l comes to our rescue with a true and simple answer. He maintains that Ahavas Hashem is actually a natural human response that even a child with some cognizance and awareness can easily attain. As the pasuk (Mishlei 27: 19) reads "kamayim hapanim lapanim ken lev ha'adam le'adam - Like water reflects faces, so too, do the hearts of people." If one is treated with love, one will naturally respond back with love. All it takes is to realize and comprehend that one is being loved and cared, for that natural human reaction to kick in.
He further explains why the bracha we recite just before the Shema ends with; " The One that chose His Nation Yisrael with love. When we realize the great and constant love Hashem always has for us, we also react with feelings of love to Him. All it takes is realizing and comprehending all the incredible great and good things the constant chassadim, kindness and favors He always does for us. That would make this great mitzva a simple one to follow.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld
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Posted 7/30/2021 12:03 PM |
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# 3289 The Lacking of the Lakes
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Q. My friend is visiting first time Canada and has never seen Lake Ontario, should he say a blessing on it?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is than one should avoid reciting a brocho with Hashem's name on common lakes since there are not that unusual and are similar to others. Therefore, seeing them even first time does not create great wonderment or admiration.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/29/2021 5:49 PM |
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# 3288 Blessing the Forces of Nature
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Q. What Brocho does one say if any when seeing first time Niagara Falls?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is than one can recite 'Ose Maase Bereishis.' However, if one has recited that blessing within thirty days, as in the case of seeing the sea, one should not repeat it with Hashem's name.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/29/2021 5:34 PM |
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# 3287 Thanks in Advance?
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Q. Somebody traveled by plane on Motzei Shabbat on this last Tisha Beav that fell on Sunday. When should he have said the bracha of Hagomel?
A. Piskei Teshuvos (551: 54) quotes Sdei Chemed and Yofe Lalev that it is better to wait until after Tisha Beav if it is still within three days of the arrival. However, Nitei Gavriel (Bein Hametzarim 2: 60: 15) seems to follow the opinion of the Kaf Hachaim (559: 38) that it should be recited at Mincha on Tisha Beav
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it could be recited by Mincha.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/29/2021 5:18 PM |
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# 3286 Be in Safe Hands
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Q. Can one that disinfected his hands with the commonly used hand sanitizer that contains glycerin and ethanol touch food, without any concern of kashruth?
A. Glycerin is a sugar alcohol derived from animal products, plants or petroleum. Glycerin is kosher if it is made from kosher vegetable oil or petroleum and processed on kosher equipment. A lot of glycerin is made from animal fat, processed on the same equipment as animal glycerin or made from used oil from non-kosher establishments, rendering the glycerin non-kosher. Glycerin or any product containing glycerin can only be used with acceptable kosher certification.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that since the glycerin used in the hand sanitizer solution has been rendered inedible by being mixed with other ingredients and besides one is not eating it, there should not be any concern for the minimal amount that may transfer from the hands to the kosher food. (See also question 3101 in regard to Pesach use)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a and Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/29/2021 5:07 PM |
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# 3285 Good News for Good News
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Q. My daughter is finishing High School and plans to attend college and get a bachelor's degree in journalism, and communications, since her dream is to become a reporter. Should we discourage her since that involves so much Lashon Hara'a, lies and Motzi Shem Ra'a?
A. Horav Aharon Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that she may make a career in writing for Frum Papers and magazines, that follow Daas Torah and are careful with the mentioned prohibitions.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/29/2021 4:55 PM |
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# 3284 Step Into your Shoes
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Q. My mother was very careful not to let her children walk around the house while wearing only socks. Is there a source for such a minhag?
A. Nitei Gavriel (Bein Hametzorim 2: 94: 1: n. 4) indeed mentions that since people in mourning walk around when only wearing socks, people abstain from doing so. (Since it may be opening the mouth for one being charged by the forces of evil). He mentions the above in regard to avoiding taking off shoes when it still is Shabbos before Tisha Beav begins, as one is showing open avelus on Shabbos.
Regarding wearing only socks, Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that people should maintain the minhogim and traditions of their families.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a and Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/29/2021 4:10 PM |
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# 3283 Don't Paint Yourself into a Corner
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Q. If someone has a pair of tefillin that have some scratches on the batim, which expose a lighter colour underneath, can he use a black marker to touch up the tefillin himself, or is he obligated to take the tefillin to a Sofer for retouching?
A. The ink used for painting Tefilin does not have special requirements and ingredients, as the ink for writing them has. However, due to different issues it is better to avoid using a common black marker
The recommended special ink or paint can usually be acquired in stores that sell Tefilin and sometimes Judaica.
Often, people who wear Tefilin paint themselves the discolored areas, commonly the corners and edges.
But it has to be done with the special intention or kavanah to be 'Leshem Kedushas Tefilin' or for the sake of the holiness of the Tefilin, and that is essential. The words should be expressed verbally before applying the ink.
Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a suggested to take them first time to a Sofer and to ask him if you can watch and learn how it is done.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 7/29/2021 3:15 PM |
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Important Numbers
