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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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#5448 Getting Our Acts Together
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- Q. Hashem Bless you Rov. I once did early mincha/marriv erev Shabbat to take Shabbat in early, and when we got to my host's home (well before shekiah - sunset), he found out his wife had not lit candles yet and said we will wait outside until she does.
I understand that R. Moshe Zt’l says that ones wife should not be doing work for the husbands sake at that point and that several Poskim say that the women should ensure that they have finished performing any necessary melachos, before lighting the Shabbos candles, and accepted Shabbos by the time the husband returns home from shul and that It would be inappropriate for the head of the household to return home from shul after accepting Shabbos to find his family members still performing melacha.
However, is there actually a source to say that he should not enter his home until she does light?!
The only thing I can think of is that the malachim (Angels) that accompany him home, are not fond of finding the candles not lit, (Gemara in Shabbos 119b).
Could this be an actual source for what my host did (stay outside)? are you aware of any Poskim that recommend this? What if the weather had been very bad or I'm an older person that just needs somewhere to sit Thanks!
A. The opinion of most of our Rabonim is that he may enter and his wife can still light the Shabbos candles. See further shailos.
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Posted 6/6/2025 12:11 PM |
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#5447 – B”H, Not another Last Meal Question!
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Q. One more question, I have seen people that on Isru Chag collect all old sefarim and Torah discarded papers also from yeshiva and school attendants and take them to the Geniza on Shavuot Isru Chag, is there a reason for that?
A. Indeed Nitei Gavriel (37: 6) quotes Mayim Chaim 3, and other sources to keep this tradition.
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Posted 6/6/2025 12:01 PM |
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#5446 - Truly! Where is the Real Last Meal question?
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- Q. See question above. In our difficult times should we maintain the above tradition?
A. On question 4478 we added: “Regarding the Seuda sources and obligation of Isru Chag (the day after Yom Tov) we usually celebrate. On this terrible year after the tragedy of all the martyrs and Kedoshim murdered viciously in Israel, is it correct to celebrate a Seuda for Isru Chag?
See also question (4477) above also regarding the Seuda sources and obligation of the Isru Chag traditions. There seems to be many different opinions by Poskim regarding if one should avoid the traditional seuda this year due to the tragedies ans catastrophes that have occurred, or just have Bitachon and trust in Hashem and do what is usually done.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that a reduced or minimal seuda should be done.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch
Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 6/6/2025 11:40 AM |
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#5445 - More of the Last Meal, Really???
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- Q. See question above. How really important and meaningful is to eat and celebrate the special meal of Isru Chag?
A. On questions 3675 and 4477. we were asked the following. “We often have our children and their families staying with us for Pesach and leaving the day after traveling home. Is it worth it to celebrate with them before they leave a seuda or special meal on Yisru Chag? Would that be a Seudas Mitzva?”
To what we answered. “Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 429: 1) writes that it is tradition to add a bit to the eating and drinking on Yisru Chag. It is considered as if one built the Mizbeach and sacrificed on it all Korbonos.
There are different reasons for this particular tradition. Chassam Sofer (ibid) explains that it commemorates the joy of the people who came to Yerushalaim and now after complying and enjoying so much the Yom Tov, were ready to return home. Torah Lishma (140) quotes Arizal that the Kedusha and holiness of Yom Tov is still felt on that day.
He also quotes a Yerushalmi (Avoda Zarah 1: 1) that Yisru Chag is called ‘Briah Demoado’ or the child of Yom Tov (See Nitei Gavriel 22: 4).
Horav Dovid Pam’s opinion is that since after all Shulchan Aruch mentions only to add a bit to the food one eats, if the visiting children are pressed to return home, as often is, it may be better to avoid.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is hat one should follow the traditions of one’s family”.
See next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 6/6/2025 11:33 AM |
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#5444 The Very Last Meal?
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- Q. Should one make a special meal on Isru Chag (the day after the end of Yom Tov) with meat and wine? What is Horav Miller’s opinion? Does he himself do it?
A. Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 429: 2) writes that it is a tradition to increase somewhat on the eating and drinking after Yom Tov on the day of Isru Chag. Poskim rule that even one to be married on that day should not fast. (Magen Arohom 573: 1).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a tradition is just to eat some meat.
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Posted 6/6/2025 11:26 AM |
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#5443 - Feast or Fast Day?
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- Q. Thank you for your prompt and great answer Rov. Does this extra seuda apply in our days when we have most of our family in Israel and their situation is really difficult?
A. On a similar last year question 4479, we wrote:
“Q. Dear Rov shilt’a, I heard that some of the Roshei Yeshivos in Eretz Yisroel not only ruled to cancel all seudos of Yisru Chag, but also to fast because of the terrible tragedies that are happening. Is that really true and permitted?
A. We tried to find printed opinions on the above shailah but could not find anything yet. It seems to be from voice communication that many Poskim and Rabbonim maintain that a minimum seuda should be kept for those who have that tradition.
Yet it should be done with a very deep feeling of mourning and grieving feelings for all those who lost their lives or their dear ones and specially for all those still being kept captive as hostages. Similar to a Seuda of Avelim.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.”
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Posted 6/4/2025 12:06 PM |
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#5442 A First Last Meal
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Q. Kvodo Shlit’a. How really important is it to make a seuda or special meal today on Isru Chag
A. On question 4477 we wrote
Q. Is it important to celebrate Yisru Chag (the day after Yom Tov) with a special meal?
On question 3675 we were asked the following. “We often have our children and their families staying with us for Pesach and leaving the day after traveling home. Is it worth it to celebrate with them before they leave a seuda or special meal on Yisru Chag? Would that be a Seudas Mitzva?”
To what we answered. “Shulchan Aruch (O.H. 429: 1) writes that it is tradition to add a bit to the eating and drinking on Yisru Chag. It is considered as if one built the Mizbeach and sacrificed on it all Korbonos.
There are different reasons for this particular tradition. Chassam Sofer (ibid) explains that it commemorates the joy of the people who came to Yerushalaim and now after complying and enjoying so much the Yom Tov, were ready to return home. Torah Lishma (140) quotes Arizal that the Kedusha and holiness of Yom Tov is still felt on that day.
He also quotes Yerushalmi (Avoda Zarah 1: 1) that Yisru Chag is called ‘Briah Demoado’ or the child of Yom Tov (See Nitei Gavriel 22: 4).
Horav Dovid Pam’s opinion is that since after all Shulchan Aruch mentions only to add a bit to the food one eats, if the visiting children are pressed to return home, as often is, it may be better to avoid.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is hat one should follow the traditions of one’s family”.
See next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 6/4/2025 11:50 AM |
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#5441 - Enlightening the Shavuos Lights
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- Q. Kvodo Shlita. What is the correct way and intention for women to light the candles on the first Shavuos night (Sunday this year 2025)?
A. On question 291 we wrote:
Q. When lighting the Yom Tov candles on the first night of Shavuoth do I have to wait till nightfall if I didn’t count sefirah?
A. Piskei Teshuvos (O.H. 494, 4) rules that women should wait to light candles on the eve of Shavuos until nightfall since they recite the brocho of shecheyanu which is similar to kiddush and they accept at that time the sanctity of the day
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The fact that no sefirah was counted is of no consequence; you still have to keep the seven complete weeks.
A man that missed counting would also wait with Kiddush until night.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a disagrees in principle and mentions that the common custom is for women to light candles earlier as in every other Yom Tov (as it is recorded on most calendars).
Men should also observe and accept toseffes Yom Tov before sunset. This does not contradict the compliance of keeping the seven complete weeks as the total Kedushas Yom Tov, is received only when reciting Kiddush at night.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
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Posted 6/1/2025 12:27 AM |
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#5440 - The Real Great Shabbos before Shavuos
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- Q. See question above.
Dear Rabbi, thank you so much for your prompt answer and I hope yo can attend our Kiddush and early breakfast meal on Thursday, (May/ 29/ 2025), as I will be speaking to thank you and all my friends who stopped to save me, I would also like to know more about the relationship of that Yom Hameyuchas and saving others, please tell. (I will quote you.
Thanks so so much.
A. As you thank them all for their kindness and sacrifice in stopping to save you, tell them following great story:
The Alter Gerer Rebbe was once asked ‘What should be the correct name for the Shabbos before Shavuos?’
After all we know that the Shabbos before Peisach has a special name and is called Shabbos HaGodol, (The Great Shabbos). Then the Shabbos before Yom Kippur is Shabbos Shuva, so what about the Shabbos before Shavuos?
In an instant he replied: It should be called ‘Shabbos Derech Eretz’ – or the Shabbos of menchlechkate, (Being kind and Human) or of being a "considerate Mench", and being a decent and nice human being.
After all, the Mishna teaches us that ‘Derech Eretz Kodmo la’Torah’ – ‘being a kind good person precedes the Torah’. And that is why the Shabbos before Shavuot and the Giving of the Torah should be also called ‘Shabbos Derech Eretz’.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 5/30/2025 11:52 AM |
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#5439 – The Blessed Flame
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- Q. Hello Rav!
when we say the bracha on the flame in havdalah, do we look at our fingers first and then say the bracha, or do we say the bracha and then look?
I've always said the bracha first and then looked, but I just read in a Sephardic siddur that since its a "bracha of praise", you should first look, then say the bracha (like how you would a rainbow, thunder, etc). Thanks.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that there are indeed different minhagim and each one should follow his family tradition.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 5/30/2025 11:44 AM |
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#5438 The Real Yichus of our Yom Hameyuchas
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– Q. Dear Rabbi and friend, Long Life to you and to the good work you do. I have a most important time sensitive question.
I was driving alone last week late after attending a simcha of a good friend. Then I took as shortcut into a deserted side street, close to the hall you are certainly familiar with, and as I stooped at a light some local obviously Muslim looking five individuals familiar with the hall and its common Jewish simches, approached my car with guns an knives in their hands.
They forced me out of the car and to give them all I had. I didn’t have much cash and the loss was not great, and as another car was approaching with friends who then jumped out to save, they all run away.
I feel I have not only as required to Bentch Gomel and thank Hashem for the great miracle of salvation. More so as I have to do a siyum on a Masechta I recently ended, I would like to do it also as a Seudas Hodo’a to thank Hashem for his Great, truly Great kindness. My question is, since this coming Thursday is also Yom Hameyuchas, is it worthwhile to make then the siyum and seudas Hodoa?
A. Indeed next Thursday (May 29 2025), will Iy”H be the forty-sixth day of the Sefirah Count of the Omer and is also called Yom Ha Meyuchas, the Day of Distinction. It corresponds to the Second Day of Sivan, also the day before the beginning of the Shloshes Yemei Hagbolah, or the Three Days of Restraint that Moshe ordered the Jewish Nation to observe and prepare for the Receiving of the Torah.
It included the restraint from common pleasures including marital intimacy. The purpose of the latter was so that the entire Jewish People would certainly be pure and full participants on the Day that HaShem would give the Torah to them.
Since it is as is a special day for feeling our clossness to Hashem it would see proper to do your Siyum and Seudas Hodoa.
See next question.
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Posted 5/29/2025 4:47 PM |
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#5437 - The Rosh of Every Rosh Chodesh!
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Q. Kevod Moreinu Horav Shlit’a. Tomorrow Wednesday the 28 of May (2025) is going to be Rosh Chodesh Sivan.
I remember hearing in a shiur that it is a most important day and Hakadosh Baruch Hu listens to all of our prayers and that is something I really truly most need. What exactly is the source of the above?
A. At the receiving of the Torah about to be celebrated, it is written, “And the People of Israel encamped there, opposite the Mountain.”
Our Sages teach us about “that very day” refers to Rosh Chodesh Sivan. Yet the term written in the Torah for “encamped” is “Vayichan” and it is singular, and not as expected plural.
This is to instruct us that the acceptance of the Torah by the Jewish Nation, was to be as one unique single minded people together with Hashem. They were all united with a single heart. That was truly essential and indispensable because the receiving of the Torah was exactly like a marriage contract between Hashem and His nation and, as such, there was no room and place for any hesitation or disloyalty between all the parties.
In Divrei HaYamim (Chronicles II- 15:9, 12), we find, regarding King Asa of Yehudah, written: “And he gathered all of Yehudah and Binyamin, and from those who lived with them, from Ephrayim and Menasheh and from Shimon, for they collected unto him in multitudes, because they saw that Hashem was with him. And they were gathered to Yerushalayim in the third month, of the fifteenth year of King Asa. And they sacrificed to Hashem on that day.”
Our Sages teach us that this entry into a Covenant with Hashem by the Jewish Nation, that occurred approximately six hundred years after the Covenant at Sinai, was indeed on Rosh Chodesh Sivan and it united all of us with Hashem, and He is then all for us. and listens to our prayers.
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Posted 5/28/2025 4:05 PM |
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#5436 – Women Not Working, Really!!!
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On question 3 (5423 see bellow we wrote) the prohibition applies to kehillos that accepted the custom. I am not aware currently of any kehilla that practices this custom?
A. On question 5423 we also wrote: -"Q. Kvodo Shlit’a. I overheard in a shiur on line something truly strange, that women should not do work during the nights of Sefirat Haomer. Is that really true? How come I have not seen anyone even the most frum families keeping this prohibition?
A. Indeed Shulchan Aruch (493: 4) writes that women have the tradition not to do any “Melacha” or work from Pesach until Shemini Atzeres from the sunset onward.
Mishna Berura (ibid. 18) adds as other Poskim also agree, that the above also includes men.”
In reality, as we also clearly mentioned, it is a tradition that is not usually kept.”
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Posted 5/28/2025 2:44 PM |
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#5435 – Get One’s Hair Even More Done
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- Q. The question (5429) about hair is not clear what is permitted for a married and unmarried woman. From your answer it would seem an unmarried woman may have a haircut which she is not allowed to!
A. Kvod Horav Shlit”a On question 5429 we wrote:
“Q. Dear Rabbi and friend. I have some questions concerning the prohibition of cutting hair and shaving during sefira time for women. Can a woman that wears a sheitl or covers her hair and now it is too long and protrudes a bit outside the covering trim it so it won’t?
Can she also cut or trim the excess hair, of her legs before going to the mikva?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that it would be permitted.
On question 5430 we wrote– Q. See question above. Two more related questions. Can a married woman who want’s to look attractive to her husband cut her surplus hair?
And can an unmarried woman who is dating for finding a shiduch do the same?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that it is permitted.
The answers are clear as to what is permitted and what is not.
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Posted 5/28/2025 1:38 PM |
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#5434 - A True Childrens Day!
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- Q. Dearest Rabbi. Tomorrow Tuesday May 27 (2025) is the day dedicated by many to recite the Tefillah (prayer) from the Shelo Hakadosh. Why is this day specially dedicated for it?
A. The Tefillah of the Shelo Hakadosh is a known Segula (accepted dedication) for parents to say on behalf of their children and grand children.
The Shelo Hakadosh wrote that “the most appropriate time to recite this prayer is on Erev Rosh Chodesh Sivan, for that is the month when Hashem gave us His Torah, and when we began to be called his children”.
The Shelah Hakadosh, was Horav Yesaiah HaLevi Horowitz. His Kever is in Tiveria and his Yahrtzeit is - 11, Nisan
Horav Yeshaiah HaLevi Horowitz ZT”L, known as the 'Sh'lah Hakadosh' (1565-1630), was born in Prague. He was a great scholar of outstanding reputation, and he served as chief Rabbi of Krakow, and more famously, of Frankfort (1610-1620).)
After his first wife passed away, Rabbi Horowitz remarried and moved to Israel in 1621. He became the first Chief Ashkenazi Rabbi of Jerusalem.
After being kidnapped by the local pasha, and ransomed by the Jewish community for a backbreaking sum of money, Rabbi Horowitz moved to Tiberias in order to prevent a subsequent kidnapping.
He is known as the Shelah, which is the abbreviation of the title of his great Sefer, Shnei Luchot HaBrit, a classic work in Jewish tradition, combining insights into the weekly portion, the holidays and Halacha.
His most visited Kever is in Tiberias, near the tomb of the Rambam.
The traditional prayer of parents on behalf of their children is read on Erev Rosh Chodesh Sivan.
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Posted 5/27/2025 4:44 PM |
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#5433 The Arch of the March?
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– Q. See question above. Can I tell my father that I’m not feeling well and so avoid going to the march with the rest of my family?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that you may do so if very necessary, yet it is always far better to tell the truth.
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Posted 5/27/2025 4:38 PM |
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#5432 Back the Best Walk!
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Q. Hashem Bless you Rov. I Have an urgent question. My father that keeps mitzvos in his own way, B”H send me to a Yeshiva to learn. I always honor him as much as possible and I have asked the Rov questions on the past. He much wants me to join him this coming Sunday on the walk With Israel, can I do so?
A. As was expected over 56,000 people marched through Toronto during Sunday’s 56th Annual Walk With Israel event, according to the Toronto Police Service.
The rally, organized by the UJA Federation of Greater Toronto, took place on the same day as Israel’s National Security Council warned of an “increased threat from terrorist elements against Israelis and Jews” in Canada, raising the threat level from one to two.
Nevertheless, the UJA Federation’s march went ahead as scheduled.
At 56,000, the turnout was even greater than the estimated number of attendees at the Israel Day event on Fifth Avenue in NYC, making the Toronto rally the largest outside of Israel in 2025.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that one who is dedicated to the learning of Torah should continue to do so, as his Torah learning is more effective for the future and well being of our nation everywhere.
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Posted 5/27/2025 4:36 PM |
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#5431 CHAZAK CHAZAK- LET US BE STRONG!!!
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- Kevod Rabeinu Shlit’a. I just heard some really tragic news that the renowned mohel of five of my grandchildren, Rav Emanuel Yechiya Meshulam, zt”l, collapsed suddenly during the middle of a Bris Milah yesterday afternoon at a simcha held in Bilu Junction, in central Israel.
When the presents called for emergency help, the call was received by his very own grandson, Kfir Meshulam — who is a volunteer with Magen David Adom. Rabeinu, I just don’t understand why such a great Tzadik who performed tens of thousands of brisn for free during his lifetime, should see such a tragic end. I really would like to hear what is Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion and what I should do about it?
I did some news research and came across the following article.in YWN.
“R’ Emanuel Yechiya Meshulam, z”l, a beloved mohel and tzaddik known throughout Israel for his decades of mesirus nefesh in performing brissim purely l’shem Shamayim was tragically niftar as he prepared to perform another one. He was 88.
The niftar collapsed suddenly in the middle of a bris milah on Wednesday afternoon at a simcha held in Bilu Junction, central Israel. Shocked onlookers watched as the joyous moment turned tragic in an instant. Emergency medical personnel were immediately called to the scene. The call was received by his very own grandson, Kfir Meshulam — a volunteer with Magen David Adom.
Kfir rushed over, only to discover that the patient was his beloved grandfather. Despite his frantic efforts and rushing R’ Emanuel to the Kaplan Medical Center, doctors were tragically forced to declare his petirah shortly after arrival.
Footage of the mohel’s collapse and petirah has been shared across social media. As a matter of basic respect and sensitivity, YWN will not be doing so.
For over four decades, R’ Emanuel Meshulam Zt”l performed tens of thousands of brissim throughout Eretz Yisrael and beyond, never once accepting payment. “I do it all l’shem shamayim,” he would often say. Any funds offered to him were redirected to support a Beis Knesses he built l’ilui nishmas his father.
His life’s mission was not only in milah but in avodas hakodesh and community service.
A Lieutenant Colonel (Res.) in the IDF’s Military Police, he once served alongside Ariel Sharon. After his military service, he managed a branch of Bank Leumi in the Sh’arayim neighborhood of Rechovot, all while continuing his avodas hakodesh as a mohel.
Just that morning — in what now shows itself as open Hashgachah P'ratis (Hashem`s Dedicated Care)— R’ Emanuel officially certified a talmid who had trained under him for four years. After his petirah mid-bris, that very talmid stepped forward and completed the milah — his very first, in place of his rebbi. Yehi Zichro Baruch. (from YWN).
That, Moreinu Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a taught me,in many other cases, is the reality of our often challenging life and existence.
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Posted 5/25/2025 10:06 AM |
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#5430 Get Out of One's Hair
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– Q. See question above. Two more related questions. Can a married woman who want’s to look attractive to her husband cut her surplus hair?
And can an unmarried woman who is dating for finding a shiduch do the same?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that it is permitted.
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Posted 5/22/2025 10:30 PM |
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#5429 Get One's Hair Done
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– Q. Dear Rabbi and friend. I have some questions concerning the prohibition of cutting hair and shaving during sefira time for women. Can a woman that wears a sheitl (wig) or covers her hair and now it is too long and protrudes a bit outside the covering trim it so it won’t?
Can she also cut or trim the excess hair, of her legs before going to the mikva?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that it would be permitted.
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Posted 5/22/2025 10:27 PM |
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Important Numbers
