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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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#5751 – The Shabbat Real Wedding Meal?
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- Q. Hon. Rabbi Shlit’a. I attended recently a Seuda Shlishit during a very enjoyable Shabbat that was dedicated to the seven days after a wedding meals and used also as Sheva Brachot meal enjoying the presence of our great shul newlywed.
It was mentioned that although we don’t necessary say any Divrei Torah then, on this ocacion it was essential, why?
A. In Halacha Shabbos and Yom Tov meals count also as the needed Ponim Chadashot even if no new people show up. This is true for the meal at night and the one during the day. However, the Seuda Shlishit is on question if it counts as Ponim Chadashot. Ashkenazim hold that if the Chatan delivers a dvar Torah it is counted as Ponim Chadashot. Sephardim disagree. (Shulchan Aruch and Rama (E.H. 62: 8), Chochmas Odom 129:5, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:17:28).
Rema E.H. 62:8 writes that the minhag is to recite sheva brachot at seuda shelishit. He is unsure if the reason for that minhag is that usually there are panim chadashot who show up or that there's a drasha, which is like panim chadashot. Chochmas Odom 129:5 accepts the second theory of Rama above, that as long as the chatan gives a drasha then, that counts as ponim chadashot. Pischei Teshuva 62:16 quotes Rema Mpano who holds that seuda shelishit is always considered panim chadashot.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/11/2026 12:32 PM |
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#5750 A Fresh New Face?
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- Q. See questions above. Can one who is not yet Bar Mitzva be counted for Panim Chadashot?
A. One who is not yet Bar Mitzva should not be counted for Ponim Chadoshos, even if he is already distinguished and a descendant of great people (Nitei Gavriel 87: 4).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/10/2026 8:23 PM |
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#5749 – The Bread of the Matter!
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- Q. See questions above. Do you need ten people to eat bread in order to recite Sheva Brochos?
A. In principle it is preferable that at least ten of the attendees should eat bread. (Shoel U’Meishiv Telisa’ah 1:198, Yabia Omer E.H. 3:11:6, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:16:4).
However, many Poskim allow sheva brachot to be recited even if only seven men ate bread, and some poskim even permit sheva brachot to be said if only three people ate bread, as long as there is a minyan in attendance. (See Pischei Teshuva 62: 8, Nitai Gavriel, Nesuin 102:2, Yabia Omer EH 3:11:6, and Otzar Haposkim 62:25:5 Either way, the bride and groom themselves had to eate bread. (Yabia Omer 6: 10:9, Tzitz Eliezer 13: 99:4, Otzar Haposkim 62: 25:6 ).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/10/2026 8:19 PM |
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#5748 5748 – The Chosen Chazan?
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- Q. Can one pearson recite all the Sheva Brachot, if he is a Chazan and sings nicely?
A. Actually many Poskim believe that the same person must recite all of the brachot. See Shaarei Efraim on Hilchos Keriyas haTorah Shaar 9 Pischei Shearim 19, Shut Har Tzvi O.H. 44, cf. Pischei Teshuvos 61:17. They maintain that for one person to recite all of the blessings appears to be implied strongly by all of the Rishonim who discuss these brachos, especially considering that the brachos are considered “semuchim” or next to each other.
However, the near-universal practice in our communities in our times, is to divide the brochos up and honor various people to each recite a single bracha.
See also Igros Moseh E.H. 1: 94, Tzitz Eliezer 6:2:5, Yabia Omer 4:7, and Mishneh Halachos 4:204 who all defend this practice, although none of these poskim appear to be so encouraging of the custom. Rav Moshe Feinstein notes that all those reciting the brachos should still make sure to listen and say amen to all of the others. Read also Otzar Haposkim 62:3:4 and Teshuvos Bnei Banim 4:6 for further discussion of splitting the brachos generally as well as grouping various brachos together, such as the first two or the first six.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/10/2026 8:16 PM |
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#5747 A Great New Meal?
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- Q. See question above, How about Seuda Shlishit?
A. Shabbat and Yom Tov count as panim chadashot even if no new people show up. This is true for one meal at night and one during the day.[However, at seuda shelishit it is a question if it counts as panim chadashot. Ashkenazim hold that if the chatan gives a dvar Torah it is counted as panim chadashot. If not, it isn't considered panim chadashot. Sephardim do not hold seuda shelishit counts as panim chadashot.
Shulchan Aruch and Rama E.H. 62:8, Chochmas Adam, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:17:28),
Rema E.H. 62:8 writes that the minhag is to recite sheva brachot at seuda shelishit. He is unsure if the reason for that minhag is that usually there are panim chadashot who show up or that there's a drasha, which is like panim chadashot.
Chochmas Odom 129.5 accepts the second theory of Rama that as long as the chatan gives a drasha at seuda shelishit that counts as panim chadashot. Pitchei Teshuva 62:16 quotes Rema M'pano who holds that seuda shelishit is always considered panim chadashot.
Shulchan Aruch and Rama E.H. 62:8, Chochmas Odom 129.5, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:17:28)
Shabbat and Yom Tov count as panim chadashot even if no new people show up. This is true for one meal at night and one during the day. However, at Seuda Shlishis if it counts as panim chadashot.
Ashkenazim hold that if the chatan gives a dvar Torah it is counted as panim chadashot. If not, it isn't considered panim chadashot. Sephardim do not hold seuda shelishit counts as panim chadashot. Shulchan Aruch and Rama E.H. 62:8, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:17:28)
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/10/2026 8:04 PM |
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#5746 – As Good As New?
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Q. See question above,
If the Sheva Brachot was started while a minyan was present, but then some of the people left before all of the brachot were recited, can they continue to recite the remaining brachos?
A. Poskim rule that they can. Pischei Teshuvos 62:14, Aruch Hashulchan 62:13. Nitei Gavriel (Nisuin 23:4) assumes that this is true only as long as the majority of the minyan remains.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/10/2026 7:57 PM |
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Posted 1/10/2026 7:53 PM |
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#5745 – New Faces for the New Extra Meal?
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- Q. More “Panim Chadashos” I have also heard that one does not need “Panim Chadashos” for Shalosh Seudot on Shabbat is that correct?
A. The Remo (E.H. 62:8) rules that the minhag is to recite Sheva Brochos at the seuda shelishis. He debates if the reason for that tradition is that usually there are panim chadashot who show up or that there's a drasha, which is like panim chadashot.
Chachmat Adam 129: 5 accepts the second theory of the Rema that as long as the Choson delivers a drasha at seuda shelishis that counts as the “Ponim Chadoshos”. Pischei Teshuvo (62: 16) quotes the Rema Mipano who holds that seuda shelishit is always considered as “Ponim Chadoshos”.
(Shulchan Oruch and Remo E.H. 62:8, Chochmas Odom 129: 5 , Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:17:28),
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/10/2026 7:51 PM |
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#5744 Is a Lady New Face?
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- Q. Can a woman be counted also for “Panim Chadashos”(see above)?
A. Poskim rule that a woman , even a very eminent and distinguished one, can not be a “Panim Chadashos” since she is not part of a minyan of ten needed for the blessing. (Ritva, Ketuvos 7b, see Nitei Gavriel 87: 3).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/10/2026 7:42 PM |
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#5743 – Different Faces for the New Faces?
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- See question above.
Q. If the two families participating in the marriage in order to honor and give Kivudim and their own relatives and close friends with a brocho, want to separate for the Birchas Hamazon, so it will be said twice separately, and more will be included. Can they do it? How?
A. Poskim advice that in such a case, it is preferable that one of the partakers should temporarily leave the room while one set of brochos is recited. Once finished, he should reenter and have the second set of Sheva Brochos recited for him.
Sovea Smochos (1: n. 150) mentions that Ponim Chadoshos or new invites may be required for the second set also. (See Hanesuim Kehilchosom 14: 92).
See next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/10/2026 7:40 PM |
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#5742 The Face of the New Face!
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- Q. See question above. Kvod Horav. I was recently also in a wedding when the following argument arose:
We all knew that in order to recite the Sheva Brachot (The traditional Seven Blessings recited after the meal of a Sheva Brachot celebration, that is the daily meal given for the newlyweds during the week after their wedding), we need the presence of someone who has not attended yet. We mentioned that the reason is to increase the joy and pleasure of the new couple. Then it got more complicated. An argument arose if the new attending present individual have to also eat by the festive meal?
A. The reason given for the above attendance by the Talmud (Kesubos 7b), is the teaching of a Baraisa: “Sheva brachos are recited with a quorum (ten men) for all seven days. Rav adds: On condition that there are “Ponim Chadashos.” The Gemara explains that at the first meal sheva brachos are always recited, but at the additional remaining meals of the Seven Days, their recitation—except for the final blessing, which is always recited, is contingent on the necessary presence of those “Ponim Chadoshos” or “New Faces” that were not present before.
Tosafos explains that the basic definition and need of “ponim chadashos” is : “That Panim chadashos must be new people, that were not present before, and therefore bring extra joy.”
A similar explanation is also given by the Rosh (Kesubos 1:13), who adds that Panim Chadashos are people who have not eaten yet at one of the wedding feasts, even if they were present at the chupah. According to this opinion, the additional joy depends on the presence of panim chadashos at the meal (though it is possible that they don’t actually have to eat; see Bach, Even Ha'ezer 62), and panim chadashos are therefore people who just had hitherto not been present at a wedding meal.
Based on this definition, Poskim explain that panim chadashos are specifically “important people, for whom the food and drink at a meal is augmented” (See Bach; Aruch Hashulchan 62:26). As the Bach adds (see also Beis Shmuel 62:10), there is no need for an actual increase in the quantity or quality of the food, but only that the people should be worthy of such an increase.
In principle, even one who did not participate on the meal can be considered Panim Chadashos, however Poskim write that it is preferable that they should be part of the meal and eat bread, yet after the fact, even eating any other food is acceptable. (Aleff Lecha Shlomo, O.H. 9, quoting Mori Verabi, Hagaon Rav Moshe Feinshtein ZT”L
See next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/10/2026 7:29 PM |
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#5741 Name the Right Name!
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Q. Kvod Horav Shlit’a. How do you write Thornhill in a Ketuba (Marriage document)?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one writes:
טארנהיל, and you also add to that name: “Hasemucha LeToronto”, or next to Toronto.
See next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 1/10/2026 7:25 PM |
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#5740 - Have a Very Happy New Year!!!
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Q. Is it proper for a Frum person to greet his friends and neighbors with a “happy new Year!!!"
A. On question 4600 the Rov quoted question 695 regarding answering to a greeting of Happy New Year that Horav Miller maintains is permitted since in our days there is no religious connotation to the greeting. In addition, you may also initiate the salute if it generates a Kidush Hashem by displaying good manners.”
I wonder if it is correct to initiate that Good Year greeting to a fellow Frum friend also?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that in such a case, it is better to avoid and just use the usual greeting.
We must mention that it is common to wish every day in Yidish, when answering a “Gut Morg’n” greeting, with “A Gut’n Yohr”
See additional explaining in this week BDYC ‘That Is’ article.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 1/2/2026 1:57 PM |
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#5739 – Nital Hanitel???
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- Q. Who are the great Gedolim and Poskim, that do not keep the Nitel Traditions?
Can one relay on them?
A. Indeed many prominent halachic authorities explicitly reject the practice of refraining from Torah study on Nittel Nacht. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein ZT”, continued learning on Nittel Nacht and instructed his students to do likewise.
The Chazon Ish Zt”l studied on Nittel Nacht, criticizing those who abstained, while the Steipler Gaon Zt”l studied discreetly to avoid contradicting those who observe this tradition. And in reality most Yeshivot and Torah institutions, keep the ongoing learning of Torah.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman Horav, Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 1/2/2026 1:54 PM |
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#5738 - More Family Problems?
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- Q. See question above. Just one more question. Does the פגם continue on to subsequent generations? (male children? female children?)
A. See answers above.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman Horav, Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 1/2/2026 1:52 PM |
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#5737 – Public Servant or King?
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Q. See question above. Is the פגם less in this case where the father is מזרע ישראל as above than if he would be a נכרי ?
Can a convert be chosen for top leading community positions?
A. on question 602 we wrote:
"Can you choose a Ger to be the principal of a school?
A. Rambam (Melachim 1: 4) rules that besides a king we do not appoint a ger to any position of authority, such as a minister of the army, a leader of fifty or even ten We don’t even appoint him to be in charge of the water distribution in the fields, not to mention a judge or a nations leader. Although this halacha is only recorded in Shulchan Aruch in regards to the enforcement of the law by proper Dayanim, it is generally accepted that it applies universally.
Igrois Moishe (Y.D. 8: 26) addresses the question of whether a convert can be nominated as a teacher, magid shiur, mashgiach or even a Rosh Hayeshiva. He rules that the Torah ordered us to bring close, love and help the convert and therefore one should be lenient in their treatment and care.
He debates whether the appointments mentioned above, really reflect today the authority and command of a king; maybe the power invested to admit or reject a student is only part and parcel of the job they were hired to do. This would be similar to the authority given to a manager over workers that could hardly be called a ministerial or ruling position; it is after all only a job. He also mentions that the ger does not have to abstain from accepting such a position when offered.
In a lengthy teshuvo Lev Aryeh (2:21) ponders directly with this question and tries to find a reason why choosing a ger for a school director would not incur a biblical prohibition. He reasons that a school director has not absolute authority and is limited to the decisions of the school board and the bylaws that rule such institutions. (See also Kovetz Haposkim 1: 7: 3 for similar rulings.)
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a advises that when hiring a convert for a directorial position, to avoid incurring into the above predicament, one should specify in the contract the necessary limitations of authority that make it clear that it is not an unassailable and self-determining commanding position akin to the appointment of a king.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman Horav, Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 1/2/2026 1:50 PM |
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#5736 – The Converts Change Over?
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- Q. See question above. And finally since נכרי הבא על בת ישראל הוולד כשר אבל פגום
What is the nature of the פגם? Is it actually halachic or only cultural?
A. As mentioned above it depends for what purpose. For having him join as part of a minyan, get married, or to testify in court and similar, he would be accepted. However, for main leading community positions some Poskim have issues.
See next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman Horav, Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 1/2/2026 1:46 PM |
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5735 – Family Problems and Answers!
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- Q. See questions above. Now the individual in question, being a halachic Jew, with only the father's mother being not Jewish, (his own mother is completely Jewish on all sides) how is he same or different in relation to other Jews who are miyuchos on all sides?
A. As mentioned in the answers above, he may have issues on being chosen for leading community positions.
See next question.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman Horav, Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 1/2/2026 1:44 PM |
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#5734 Sitting in Judgment
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- Q. See question above. Is there any connection between this individual, his father, and grandfather that is ancestral whether Halachic or spiritual? How about mourning obligations?
A. On question 4540 we dealt with similar principles.
"Q. I have a friend who’s a convert who was told she can sit for something like a shiva for a non-Jewish parent. How does a convert observe the “yahrtzeit” of a parent? What are their obligations? Should they follow the secular date or the Hebrew date of the parent’s passing? What is recommended or suggested to mark the occasion?
A. On question 1334 regarding if a convert can sit shiva and recite kadish for his benevolent and righteous father or mother that did not convert? How about if they were actively keeping another religion.we wrote:
The Talmud (Yevamos 22a) teaches that although a Ger who converts is considered as a new born person and looses his familial connections to his biological family, rabbinically he cannot marry his sister or other close relatives. The Talmud explains that the reason is, people will say the Ger left a stronger sanctity and converted to a lesser and more lenient religion.
Rambam (H. Ma’amrim 5: 11) rules that not only should a ger observe the negative commandments in regards to dishonouring or shaming his parents, but he should also show some honor and respect to them. (See also Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 241: 9) Yad Avrohom explains that honoring parents is an obligation for Bnei Noach, as we can infer from the narrative of Chom Ben Noach, yet they are not punished for non-compliance as they are in the case of the other seven Noahide mitzvos. Rabi Akiva Eiger in his notes (ibid.) maintains that it is referring to the way Gentiles in their own beliefs and laws, greatly honor their progenitors. Igrois Moshe (Y.D. 2: 130) in a similar shaile rules that even when the parent is not ill, the ger is permitted an occasional visit and is also allowed to bring along his children.
However, he should do so infrequently so that the children will not adhere to the former religion of their father, join his grandparents in eating non-kosher and do other common prohibitions. Otherwise, in case of need or illness, just as one has to take care and visit the afflicted gentiles and tend to their needs, certainly and more so, the ger has to take care of his own parents. (See also Nishmas Avrohom 2: p. 276) Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is similar. (See also question 825 in this forum).
Yechave Daas (6: 60) rules that a convert can recite kadish for his parents, say the customary hashkava and pray leilui nishmosom and elevation of their souls. Yalkut Yosef (Avelus H. Kadish 12) adds that he should recite kadish in an unpretentious and demure style, not to rise the criticism of others. (See also Miyam Hahalacha 2: 16, Eitz Hachaim p. 305).
Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 374: 5) rules that a convert does not sit shiva for his parents even if they also converted, since they are regarded as being reborn again and to have lost their filial connection. (Be’er Hagola ibid. 10). Some maintain that according to the Poskim that first day avelus is Biblical, they have to sit that one day. However, the Halacha does not follow that opinion (Shach ibid. 4).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that a convert should not sit shiva or recite kadish for his parents, but should offer his sincere and heartfelt prayers to Hashem in their behalf.
On question 3761 regarding if a Ger can recite Kaddish for his dear father that did not convert, but was very good and helpful to him, practically from the ‘ Chasidei Umot Haolam’, (righteous of the nations) we wrote:
Z’kan Aharon (2; 86) maintains that although it is for many a surprising tradition, it is proper in such a case to recite Kaddish for his Gentile father, although it is not an obligation. Mimamakim (3: 8) deals with reciting Kaddish for a non-Jewish woman, that saved the life of many persecuted during W.W.11.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that Kaddish should not be recited.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman Horav, Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 1/2/2026 1:43 PM |
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#5733 -Where Are My Children?
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- Q. See question above.
Being that the father is זרע ישראל (from the father's side), if that father were to have converted, would he be able to take a position of שררה in the community? (Is he considered מקרב אחיך) In ספר שארית ישראל, it seems he would as such a person is considered a pre Matan Torah זרע ישראל requiring גיור.
If the Jewish grandfather (father's father was a Levi for example, does the individual in question have any continuity through זרע ישראל to being a Levi as well, or since his mother is not Jewish, there is a break off in the lineage?
A. On question 3657 we wrote:
Q. Regarding a complete family with children that converted to Judaism, how does the father comply with the mitzva of ‘Vehigadeta Levincha – telling the story of Pesach to his children? (When they convert Halacha rules that they cease being his children and they are considered being newborn). To whom should he now relate the Hagadah?
A. Since he has to remarry his wife immediately after the conversion, he can tell the story to her.
He may also do what people without children do, tell it to his guest as by Halacha standards his children are.
See next question
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman Horav, Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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Posted 1/2/2026 1:39 PM |
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Important Numbers
