Do these Torah concepts, even the greatest, have any permanence? Doesn't senility erase them from the mind?
ANSWER:
It does not. You are right, it erased them from the conscious mind, but in the subconscious they remain; I'll give you an example. A senile person who seems to understand nothing, sometimes surprises people by making a remark about his experiences. Where did he get that? He seemed to be out of his mind entirely. The answer is as was mentioned before, it's there. You can never erase from the subconscious, and that becomes part of the baggage of your soul.
Even though consciously he's not able now to summon – it's like a viewer. You have a machine that helps you view pictures. The viewer gets out of order and the pictures that are supposed to focus automatically don't come anymore; the conveyor broke down. So you look through the viewing scope and you don't see the picture anymore. But the pictures are there waiting only the apparatus broke down.
In senility the apparatus of recalling consciously all the facts that you once learned has broken down, but subconsciously they're all stacked away, it never could be erased. It's taken along with the neshomo; it's part of the baggage of the soul in the World to Come.
That's why the Gemara says, in the aron habris in the mishkon and in the mikdash they had the luchos that Moshe Rabbeinu brought down, but also the shivrei haluchos, the broken ones and the second tablets, the entire ones. Now the broken ones you have to know, that when Moshe Rabbeinu broke them, the inscriptions were destroyed – the writing was destroyed. So the question is what's the purpose? The answer is, they once had the writing on them.
And therefore the Gemara says we learn from this, והזהרו בזקן ששכח תלמודו מחמת אונסו דאמרינן לוחות ושברי לוחות מונחות בארון be careful with an old sage that forgot his learning, because even the broken luchos are also put in the aron; now that means something. An old sage, he's senile now let's say, you have to watch him that he should not run out in his underwear into the street, that's how senile he is. He even forgot that a street is not a place for underwear.
But in his subconscious everything that he learned is there, you cannot erase it. The bad things that he learned also he cannot erase, everything is there. When he comes to the Next World, and then his focusing apparatus is repaired, then he's going to see these pictures, only in a more glorious perspective.
Nothing goes lost that you learned in this world and that's why it's so important to learn only the right things.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
ANSWER:
When goyim suffer, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is sad. Ma'sei Yudei tovim bayam, Hashem is sad. What should we do? We should say Hashem is sad, that's enough. Don't spend any money on it, because there are plenty of poor Jews that need your money. Now, when an ambulance passes by, you should always say a tefilla. If it's chalila a Jew inside, say Hakadosh Baruch Hu should send him a refuah shleima.
Now, if an Italian would hear me say this, and he asks, why don't you say this prayer for Italians too? So I say, do you pray if an Italian passes by in an ambulance? Do you pray for an Italian? You don't pray for your fellow Italian, so why should I pray for Italians? Therefore, you are mechuyov to pray for your fellow Jews. If you hear an ambulance, don't ignore it! It's making a wailing sound, it's crying out for help – maybe it's a Jew? Therefore pray that he should have a refuah shleima, if it's a Yisroel.
Hakadosh Baruch Hu is different. Hakadosh Baruch Hu has kavayochol tzar when a person has any tzar at all; ma'sei Yudei tovim bayam.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
How can one convince a man who watches television to stop doing so?
ANSWER:
Take him out in the street to a sewer, and dip a cup of water into the sewage as it's rushing from the sidewalk into the sewer, and say l'chaim my friend, take a drink.
So he says, it's dirty water!
So tell him "it's much cleaner than what you drink every day on television, because you are pouring the dirtiest kind of filth onto your mind, besides atheism!" The worst thing that can happen to a man is to get water on the brain, and to get sewage on the brain? Then there's no hope for him.
Television today is poison. Anybody with a little bit of understanding knows that if he wants to have any hope of coming to the Next World… it says Elokei neshama sh'nosato bi tehora he, You gave me a pure soul, and you're supposed to return it to Hashem, at least the way you got it. The truth is, you should make it better, but at least the way you received it. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu is going to be pretty angry when you return the soul to Him and it smells bad. It's waterlogged with sewage. Because the way a man dies, that's the way he's going to remain forever.
If a man leaves this world with a soul that's putrefied with television garbage, he'll have to live with it all his life forever and ever for the next million years. That's a principle; the way a man leaves this world, the Rambam says that in Avos, that's how you are going to remain forever.
Therefore it's important to purify the mind, and put into it as much kedusha as you can, and that's what you are going to exist with forever and ever.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
QUESTION:
What should a person do (when he is in an adverse environment) to protect his mind from being wrongly influenced?
ANSWER:
Number one, he should hold a sefer in his hand, even a small sefer. Open it whenever you can, look inside and think over something that you saw there. And while you're thinking, your mind cannot occupy two thoughts at the same time. The Rambam says that when a mind is empty of divrei Torah, then the other things come into your head. When the mind is occupied and is full of divrei Torah, then the other things cannot come into your head. And even if you're thinking of a machlokes of Romi bar Chomo and Rava, it's also good enough to fill your mind – think about it. As you are on the subway or wherever you are, keep it in your mind, go over it again and again, and you'll be able to keep your mind perfectly clear of anything else. When your mind is a vacuum – there's no such thing as a vacuum – something will come in and fill your mind.
Now, it's a good idea to get in the habit of choosing topics to think about. Zichru niflosuv asher asa – it's a commandment. Remember His niflos that He made. Why does it say that He made them, if it's His, then He made it? He made it in order that we should remember, that's why He made it, Hashem made it in order that we should remember.
So let's say you're in the subway, I'm going to think of makos dam. Finally it's exhausted and you have nothing else to think – tzefardea begins. Plenty to talk about in tzefardea, a very big mako, I can speak an hour on tzefardea. Pharoh is going crazy from the noise of the tzefardea, he said please save me from the noise of the tzefardea. The noise was terrible, and some of them were poisonous too, it was a terrible mako. Then kinim; imagine kinim. If you think about these nisim, you are mekayeim zichru niflosuv asher asa. Everybody says these words but nobody does it, it's a pity. Remember the maan, He made the maan, you should remember it.
Everything that Hakadosh Baruch Hu did that was against nature was a nes. Hashem doesn't like to go against nature, because He made nature. Why did He make it against nature? In order that you should remember: למען שתי אתתי אלה בקרבו ולמען תספר, you should talk about them.
It's a good idea when you are walking into the street, not when you are crossing the street, when you cross the street look here and look there. When you're on the other side of the street resume your thoughts. "What was I thinking about before?" remind yourself, and keep on thinking of that subject.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
Is there a difference between the chasidim and the litvish today, and what are the differences?
ANSWER:
I'll tell you a little story. Once upon a time there was a wealthy man. He had two kitchens, a fleishig kitchen with a cook, and another kitchen for delicious milchig meals. His fortunes took a turn and his wealth began to decrease, so he had less and less meat and more and more potatoes, also less and less cheese and more and more potatoes. After a while he only had potatoes, so he said why make milchig potatoes and fleishig potatoes, they're all potatoes!
Once upon a time there were chasidim, with avodas Hashem, firedik chasidim – old chasidim were fire. Misnagdim, Torah – learning all the time. Little by little... chasidim began to learn too, misnagdim started learning mussar – today there's not much difference.
By the way there is a difference, and I say each group should maintain its differences, we shouldn't become one. Hakdosh Baruch Hu wanted all the shevatim should be separate shevatim, Reuvain separate, Shimon separate, each shevet had its own characteristics, every shevet had its maalos. Those who are chasidim should remain chasidim, we need them. Misnagdim, who are all for learning Torah and yiras shomayim, each one should improve. It could be eventually that they will all become the same, all will become tzadikim gemurim! Very good, but in the meantime don't give up your idiosyncrasies.
Hakadosh Baruch Hu loves Reuvain, He loves Shimon, He loves chasidim, He loves misnagdim, He loves them all...כן ירבו וכן יגדלו
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
If someone is ill, what should he do the first thing?
ANSWER:
The first thing is he should immediately ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu for help. Secondly, he should immediately get the best assistance from experts for his illness. And third, yeilech eitzel chochom – that's a gemara. He should go to a chochom and ask him to be mispalel for him. I'll repeat these three things.
Number 1 – He should immediately ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu without any delay; tefila is number one and it doesn't take any time. Because if a man doesn't have any tefila, he's putting his trust in physicians or medicine, and that's ארור הגבר אשר יבטח באדם, accursed is a man who trusts in human beings, ושם בשר זרעו, and he makes flesh his strength, ומן השם יסור לבו, his heart turns away from Hashem. At the outset you should speak to Hashem.
Number 2 – ורפא ירפא the gemara says, מכאן שניתנה רשות לרופא לרפאות, we learn from here that the physician has a right to heal. Which means the physician is not trespassing on Hashem's domain when he tries to heal, because Hakadosh Baruch Hu Himself gave that command.
Number 3 – He should seek competent tefilos of somebody whose words are obeyed by Hashem: yeilech eitzel chochom.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
הוי שקוד ללמוד תורה ודע מה שתשיב לאפיקורס ודע לפני מי אתה עמל (אבות ב:טו)
Rebbi Elazar says, be diligent in the study of Torah, and know what to answer to a heretic, and know before Whom you toil.
When asked by Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai which is the proper way to which a man should cling, Rebbi Elazar answered, "a good heart." The Meforshim explain that the three instructions mentioned in the Mishna are three ways of acquiring a good heart. It is understandable how diligence in Torah study and knowledge before Whom one toils can be means of acquiring a good heart. However, it isn't clear how the knowledge of what to answer to a heretic can help one achieve this goal.
Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur vol. II p. 288) notes that Rabbi Elazar does not instruct us to answer heretics, since one should not enter into a dispute with a heretic. Rather, he tells us that one should "know what to answer" to a heretic. A person must have ironclad, crystal clear emunah to the degree that no one would succeed in budging him from his belief. In addition to the emunah rooted in feelings, it is necessary for emunah to be well founded in a person's intellect. Conviction in emunah (the knowledge that Hashem is the source of everything) is another means for acquiring a good heart.
There is no need for philosophical arguments or intense research. Every mentally sound individual should be able to arrive at the knowledge that Hashem created the world, gave us the Torah on Har Sinai and will eventually bring the redemption. It is clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no way that our remarkable world could have possibly created itself. It also follows, that if there is a Creator of the world, He certainly informed His creations of the purpose of the world and gave them detailed instructions how to navigate life. Additionally, the revelation at Sinai was witnessed by millions of people and recorded in the Torah, and there is no documentation of any ancient writer who disputed this reality. We also can be certain of the veracity of what transpired since it has been passed down through our unbroken chain of mesorah of leaders who we know would never lie; beginning with Moshe and continuing with the Prophets, Tannaim, Amoraim, Geonim, Rishonim and Achronim.
Likewise, the need for a Final Redemption is rational. It is understandable that the Creator is not going to allow His creations to grope in the dark forever. The world was created with a purpose and when He decides that the goal has been reached, the world will cease to exist in its present state.
These are simple straightforward ideas that help a person strengthen his emunah; and there are countless other ideas and proofs that can do the same. Nevertheless, if a person doesn't give this topic any thought, he will be left with a half baked emunah that won't stand up in a time of need.
A person never knows where he might end up and he has to be spiritually ready for any situation. Yosef HaTzaddik was uprooted from his spiritual enclave and deposited in a depraved society where he spent more than twenty years without any spiritual backing. In Russia Jews were uprooted and placed in Siberia, and during the holocaust Jews were displaced from their communities. Rav Wolbe himself spent eight years alone in a country devoid of religious life. Hopefully none of us will ever have to endure such an upheaval, but nevertheless, our emunah should be able to weather any storm.
A practical suggestion to help implement this idea: Take some time to go through the Kuzari, Derech Hashem (Rav Wolbe in Alei Shur ibid. suggests both of them) or any of Rav Avidgor Miller's seforim. They have the ability to do wonders for your emunah.
Why is it that about 1/7th of Shas Bavli consists of moralistic teachings, stories and advice (agadata)?
ANSWER:
The gemara is not given to us just as a book of laws. The gemara is a way of life, therefore it tells us what we need in order to live. It's the same question that you can ask, if you have a human being, why is there such a mixture? There is blood mixed together with tissue, and bones, all stuff mixed together. Wouldn't it be better if you had all the bones in one place, a box of bones, and here is a box of meat, and a big bottle of blood… The bottles are on the shelf but he wouldn't be alive.
In order for the Talmud to be alive, you have to mix all these elements. You have to have a history, if you don't understand history from the Torah viewpoint then you're a cripple, you're mentally a cripple. That's why those boys who learn the gemara and skip the agadata, are mental cripples. Not only boys, but even rosh yeshivos who have skipped agadata all their lives, they just learn the halacha, they don't understand what Torah is, because Torah is an entity that contains all the parts that go together that make it one thing.
You have to have derech eretz, you need good manners, and the gemara is full of agadata. You have to have tanach – tanach is the breath of the gemara, it's the spirit of life of the gemara. The medroshim that the gemara comments on, explains things, enlightens things, opens our eyes. And you need health, if people don't have advice about proper living, then they won't take care of themselves, and like the Rambam says "you can't be a servant of Hashem if your body is not healthy".
So you need all the things together, and that's why it's mixed, the agadata is not in a separate sefer, it's all mixed. And as you are learning gemara there's a little island of agadata, and you refresh your neshomo, you get what you need and you go on again to the gemara, to the technical halachos. And this wonderful plan, the great minds of Rav Ashi's yeshiva perfected. It's not by accident, it's not haphazard, it's not a ramshackle thing; talmud bavli is extremely cunningly planned.
It's like somebody who wants to do a good job, so he extracts from the wheat, from the flour all the vitamins. You could do it by milling, or by sifting, you get rid of all the bran and you leave only the starch. It looks beautiful, you bake a challah, here's a challah with nothing but starch, but there is nothing in it; no vitamins, none of the minerals. So if you eat it, what's going to happen to you? Therefore you have to put the vitamins back in again, that's what they do today.
Today when you learn gemara without the agadata, it's eating starch without the vitamins. That's why they introduced mussar into the yeshivos, mussar is like putting back the vitamins. But when you eat the whole gemara it's whole wheat, like Hakadosh Baruch Hu planned it. He planned whole wheat, all the good stuff is there.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Is Josephus regarded by the Jews as a hero or a renegade?
ANSWER:
Josephus is regarded by those who know – as a disloyal Jew who was loyal to Jewish traditions. He was a patriot for his people, and he was a maamin, he believed in everything, and he loved his people. But they consider him a man who sold out in order to gain privileges, in order to gain the favor of those who had power.
Josephus is considered by many as a true patriot, but they are people who really don't know the history. The sefer doros harishonim is the one whose opinion is always quoted here. There is no question that Josephus believed in everything, and he was a loyal believer, and he was proud of his Judaism, and he understood what there was to be proud of, and there are many things in his works that are really inspiring!
But he sold out to the enemies of his people, and as a result when the Bais Hamikdash was destroyed by Titus, the Roman general who later became Emperor, Josephus was allowed to live the rest of his life in the palace of Titus.
He lived in the Palace of Titus.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
What is wrong when a person wishes to be free from troubles?
This person was listening to what I said about the greatness of tzaros, so what is wrong in wishing to be free from tzaros, in order to utilize all our energies in positive striving for perfection? When a man doesn't have any illnesses, he's able to strive for perfection.
ANSWER:
I'll tell you a story that everybody knows.
Once there was a rabbit and a turtle, and the rabbit said to the turtle, let's have a race. So the turtle said alright... and they started out, and in one minute the rabbit was out of site. The turtle was plodding along, slowly. After a while, after some hours he saw from a distance the rabbit was sitting by the side of the road sleeping. It's no use running, he's sleeping, he slept and slept and the turtle kept on going, and finally when the turtle was just about to reach the goal the rabbit looked up, and saw the turtle was a mile ahead. He tried to catch up but it was too late.
It's possible for people to strive for perfection mitoch shalom, mitoch shalva. But the trouble is like I explained before, shalva is to become unaware, to fall asleep. And that's what happens when everything goes well, people fall asleep. In the meantime, here is a man who has tzaros… let's say a baal teshuva, and he came in from the outside world, he had a lot of trouble. He had to fight against his parents, sometimes he had to give up his old wife when he married when he was irreligious, or she has to give up her old husband; all kinds of tzaros. These people are like turtles, because how fast can they travel? They can barely make a pace at a time, and still these are people who are aware, they are accomplishing something, because they know what they once were, and they are very much aware, they're sensitive to progress, whereas as Jews who had all the opportunities are usually not aware, and they fall asleep and don't gain perfection.
If you'll show me somebody who's able to develop a sense of awareness mitoch shalom, when everything always is going right, and he never needs a spur to keep him on the run, and he's always going full speed ahead, certainly that person will be most successful. But Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows that's not human nature. Moshe Rabeinu had the best head, and Moshe Rabeinu was given plenty of tzaros in his life - nevertheless, he utilized these things as spurs. He became greater and greater because of his difficulties.
Avrohom Avinu started out with all kinds of tzaros. He was thrown into the fire, and for years he was in prison, for years he was a fugitive the Rambam explains in Hilchos avodah zara, Avrohom was a fugitive for many years in the forests and in the deserts, and all this made him even greater.
So therefore theoretically people can grow great most easily if they have a life that facilitates making progress, but in practice it's not so. In practice almost everybody needs from time to time a spur, some kind of vicissitudes that will cause him to reappraise his situation and then to go full speed ahead.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
ANSWER:
Let me explain to you, briefly. Yisroel was a name, a generic name, given to denote the superiority of the Am Yisroel. They are going to conquer with the help of Hashem, Yisro - keil they are going to conquer with the help of Hashem. And that's the name to this day.
However, among the tribes of Yisroel there was one that remained most loyal. The sons of Yosef did not remain most loyal. Ephrayim and Menashe broke away. Yerovom ben Nevot from shevet Ephrayim broke away, and he lost contact with the Beis Hamikdash, and he went into devious paths that bordered on idolatry, and finally they went lost among the nations.
But Yehuda (ויהודה עד רד עם אל (הושע יב.א, Yehuda was still clinging to Hashem. It's because of the influence of Dovid of Yehuda. Dovid's heart was most loyal, בעבור דוד עבדי, My servant Dovid. And therefore because the Yehudim were the ones who clung to Hakadosh Baruch Hu despite everything, that's why today we are called Yehudim.
It's not enough to choose virtue and to make a Kabolas Hatorah, and to become great; it's essential to stick to it, על אבותינו ועלינו,על בנינו ועל דורותינו, all the generations. But there came a time when they fell down on the job, and therefore they were rejected, they were lost, ואבדתם בגוים, they were lost among the nations.
But Yehuda remained till this day, and now we are called Yehudim.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
What was the purpose of a certain pop singer (I won't mention his name) who perished in a car accident last Friday night?
ANSWER:
Well I didn't hear about this gentleman, but since you did hear about him, so learn the lesson that people can be on the top of the ladder of success and think that they are going to enjoy this world for the next million years – and suddenly in a flash it's all over. It's an important lesson to keep in mind. I don't know if he was a tzadik or a rosho, probably the second, so if he's a rosho it's important, it says רק בעיניך תביט ושלמת רשעים תראה, you should look at the recompense paid to reshaim.
When John Lennon got a bullet and he dropped dead, in New York City they made a John Lennon Square in his memory; it's a beautiful memorial to him. Because you have to remember that many thousands of young people died young because of LSD or other narcotics that he encouraged with his songs. Therefore when the bullet came, we say that the bullet came a little late; it should have come much earlier.
It's a lesson to the world that reshaim get their recompense. Of course the world prefers to mislead themselves, so right away they stop thinking about Lennon and ask why did this frum Jew get a cold.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Should one be mispallel for children even years before they’re married?
ANSWER:
Certainly, he should be mispallel for his future. You should ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu that you should live long when you're young, because it's important what happens in your youth. Sometimes chalila something happens in your youth that will make it impossible to live long. Pray for a long life, certainly. Even a child should pray for a long life, and to pray ahead of time for children, absolutely. He should pray for a lot of things beforehand, and the best time to pray is before you find yourself in a fix.
When Iyov was in trouble, he was in tzaros, so his friends said to him, היערך שועך לא בצר, did you set forth your prayers when you were not yet in distress? Which means, you waited only until now to pray? You hear that accusation? So the time to cry out is when you're well! Then Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, look this man is well and still he cries out to me, so I'll see that he remains well. But if a man waits until chas v'shalom, and then he cries out, it helps also but it doesn't have the efficacy of crying out when you're well. When a man is young and healthy, זכור את בוראך בימי בחורתך, remember your Borei when you're young.
Of course when you're old and all your bones are aching already – old is not good you know – your bones are aching, and your eyes are dim, and your stomach doesn't act properly, a lot of things are troubling you. And now you cry out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, you remember Him? Very good, it's a very good thing, but how much better it would have been when you were full of juice and your joints were lubricated, and everything was working well, then you cried out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu? זכור את בוראך בימי בחורתך, when you're young remember Him, that's the best thing.
Certainly you should cry out to Hashem for everything, long before you need it.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Is it necessary for one to know what he's looking for when he's looking for a shidduch, or should he just wait till the right one comes along?
ANSWER:
He has to do both things. If you don't know what you're looking for, it's like going into a store with a pocket full of money and the storekeeper says what do you want? And you say I don't know. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is going to offer you all kinds of merchandise: tall, little, thick and thin, all kinds – blondes and brunettes. You have to know what you want, that's number one. You have to make up your mind, what do you want? You're looking for a frum girl, or you want a flapper type (unconventional style and behavior). Do you want a siren type, (dangerously beautiful)? Or do you want an idealist?
So you say, I want all the things, she should be a siren, and an idealist. But you have to know that to be a siren, it doesn't happen by itself. You have to sit in front of the mirror for a lot of hours to be a siren; boys don't know that, they think a siren is born that way. If a girl doesn't work on the job of looking appealing, looking attractive, she won't; it takes a lot of time. And to do both things is pretty difficult, so you have to make up your mind. It could be that Hakadosh Baruch Hu could send somebody who looks to you like a siren who happens to be a big idealist, because He wants you to take that one, so now your second point comes up. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu, when He sees that your mind is made up on the right girl, so He sends a girl to you.
In the eyes of others she looks pretty ordinary, but in your eyes she has seven graces, she's so beautiful that it clicks immediately. But you have to know that this is a reward for people who are deserving of it, otherwise you'll keep on looking and it vetzach nit clicking, it won't click. I met an old boy once, he was a Rabbi in the town next to me, and he hadn't been married for years and years. I met him on Pitkin Ave he was now sixty, I said, what's the matter? He says, I have a feeling that when the right one comes along, there will be a click, uber it is nuch nit g'clicked. Well, he died a bachelor.
So you have to make up your mind what you want, then Hakadosh Baruch Hu might make it click, too.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
What is my opinion of a frum man who takes very little part in helping his wife and children, in the kitchen and so on?
ANSWER:
It depends on circumstances. Sometimes a man works very hard for parnosso, and he has to take a lot of ill treatment – from his boss, from his competitors, or from customers. Sometimes a man comes home so broken that the house is like a hospital for him! And therefore he deserves a lot of consideration.
However, if it's a man that has a comparatively easy life, and he comes home in good condition, there is no reason why he should not help out a little bit; there should certainly be some token assistance, especially if the wife wants it. Now, some women don't want the husband to putter around in the kitchen, they tell him to keep out of it... he's a lucky man! But even then he should make some motions as if he's trying to help out, until she tells him to go out. But, there's no question at all, everybody should feel that it's his duty to help carry the burden of the house.
Now I want to say this. When it comes to taking care of the children's Torah education, it's a very big error to let the burden fall on the woman. Some women have to take care of coaching the children in the Torah lessons from the yeshiva; a father must shoulder that responsibility. A father must help out. Very many children need help, even aleph bais they need help, a father must help. Chumash they need help, and some fathers neglect that and therefore their children grow up failures, and sometimes they drop out chas v'shalom from the yeshiva, with the most terrible consequences.
It's not the children's fault. The blame is on the father.If he cannot have patience to do it himself, he must spend money. He has to hire a boy to teach his little child, or a girl to teach his little daughter, you must see to it that your children's learning is supervised.
Don't rely on the yeshivos! Don't rely on the teachers! Day to day check on your child if he's keeping up with the class. If he falls behind even one lesson, it's a tragedy, because the next day it will be two lessons, and he will be discouraged and he will lose cheshek chalila, and sometimes he becomes an enemy of learning as a result.
It's up to the father to constantly be on guard – this surely he has to shoulder the responsibility of the chinuch of his children. In aleph bais, in chumash, hascholas gemora.
If he's not capable he must hire help.
Good Shabbos To All
This email is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
It was said that people need time to think. Isn't it better for people to be busy so they should avoid mental illness?
ANSWER:
People should eat, and people should work, but sometimes a man is so ill that we forbid him to eat, only we give him intravenous nourishment. And sometimes he is so ill that we don't let him work, but that's abnormal, it's for sick people. Yes, sometimes we tell people don't think, and that's therapy. Therapy means do something so you won't have time to think, because the mind is made to dwell on outside subjects, but when the mind dwells on itself – it's like the teeth.
Teeth are given to chew food, but when a man uses his teeth to chew up his cheeks and his tongue, he's misusing it. When people use their minds to chew up their own minds, so then we tell them get busy making rugs, get busy climbing mountains, do something to take your mind off your mind; don't think. But when people are healthy, thinking is a very good prescription. It's a great thing to have Shabbos to be free to think.
Therefore it depends for whom. Sometimes you have to say don't think to save yourself, but for most people we say, think! Of course you have to think properly. If you have time to think and about all kinds of narishkiten and yetzer hara things, certainly it won't do you any good.
But if you think the proper ideas, then you're going to make use of the purpose for which leisure was given.
Good Shabbos To All
This email is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
The rainbow is the result of natural causes. When the sun shines through the drops of rain, it causes the sun's light to break up into its various components. Sunlight is composed of various colors, various components. When the sunlight goes through a prism, then it comes out the other side - yellow, purple, blue; all kinds of colors. So when the sun shines through the raindrops, it's natural that a rainbow occurs.
So the question is, if that is what's expected when the sun shines after a rain and the drops are still in the air, so why could that serve as an os bris?
ANSWER:
We are learning an important principle that we are going to study, that even things that are natural, have a message for us. When Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the universe from the beginning, He made the world in six days, not in six million years, in six days, and He made that the nature of the sun should have various kinds of light. Yehi ohr, the sunlight has different kinds of light, and that light as it goes through a prism or raindrops, it's expected that the colors should come out and look like a rainbow, and yet Hakadosh Baruch Hu intended that when the time will come, that rainbow would fulfill a much greater purpose. It demonstrates the chesed of Hashem to the world.
Hashem had in mind from the beginning that when there will be a rainbow, even though it's a normal thing, that rainbow is going to be an os bris, a sign of Hashem's love for His creatures; He will no longer destroy the entire world.
We see here a fundamental teaching of the greatest importance. When we see a natural phenomenon which clearly occurs due to the way we understand the laws of nature - nevertheless we can and must also learn out a purpose that teaches very great lessons. This insight is in addition to the functions that the phenomenon performs within the laws of nature.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Why is there so much blue color in the sky, on the ocean, and there's no blue color in our environment?
ANSWER:
That's simple. The blue color is the result of materials in the air, and the light as it comes through the materials, acquires a sweet pleasant color; techeiles. The color of techeiles is always utilized by Hakadosh Baruch Hu for a sign of aristocracy because techeiles is a reminder of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's rakia; the rakia is techeiles. This color - of course they explain it by saying the atmosphere has dust particles that deflect the light in such a way that it looks blue - but actually Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the one who created that result. And the purpose of this blue is, it's easy on the eyes and it's a pleasure to see it; a blue sky is a source of happiness.
Therefore, when you see a blue sky think of the techeiles - Hakadosh Baruch Hu is wearing a garment. He wears the world like a talis and the techeiles is like the tzitzis of His talis, it's openly stated in the passuk: Oteh ohr ka'salmo, He clothed Himself in light as with a garment. So if you picture a Melech Haolam, He's wearing a garment, and you see just part of His garment overhead, and you see the techeiles. Oh, Hashem's garment, it's to remind you of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And the yam (ocean) is also techeiles, because the yam reflects the light of the skies. Look at the yam, it'll remind you to look at the sky. Look at the sky, it'll remind you to look higher, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the source of that.
Therefore, in the olden days when you had techeiles in the tzitzis, urisem osom, when you saw the tzitzis and the techeiles, you were reminded of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, who's the Borei Olam, Elokei Hashomayim, and He is the one who likes you to think about Him. So look up and see Hakadosh Baruch Hu's reflection, the begadim, the techeiles that He's wearing in the beged that He covers the whole world with, His talis.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Should one regret not being brought up in a Torah atmosphere?
ANSWER:
In very many cases it's a stroke of good fortune that they weren't. Had they been brought up in an Orthodox atmosphere, they would have gone all their lives as many do, in the rote of habit. They never would appreciate anything above the common routine to which they became accustomed.
But when somebody comes in mature from the outside, he appreciates Torah with a taste, with a glamour that he never would have experienced otherwise; it's very important. And I know it from experience over and over again; some of our very best people are those who battled their way back at maturity! I'll give you an example.
Here's a fellow brought up all his life in a shul. He was a little child and ran around, he misbehaved in the shul. As a boy he was still talking all the time, he had no respect for the shul. And then he grew up and he was married in the shul, he has no respect, he has no glamour in the shul, he doesn't see anything heroic in it. As a child when the Rabbi was speaking he ran outside and played, as a boy he ran outside and played, as a young man he was sitting and daydreaming and not listening, and he never had any interest. Now he's an old man, an old lump of meat sitting in the synagogue; the Rabbi is still talking to him and he's still not listening.
Here is next to him a man sitting in the shul who wasn't brought up in a shul, and now he's in a shul as an adult and he understands the difference between this and the outside world. He comes in under his own power, he wasn't pushed in by circumstances, he's traveling with idealism! Sometimes these people have become the biggest assets to us. We know it - every day in the yeshiva they are some of the best boys.
I was once invited to an installation of a Rabbi; the Rabbi's one of the best. An American boy with a beard down here, very big payos; a very frum Rabbi, a big idealist, and it was an exceptionally good congregation. The women were all sitting on this side, men on that side, every woman had a sheitel - it was a long time ago, now it's the style to wear sheitlach, in those days it wasn't and still they all were wearing sheitlach. All of the women were decently dressed except one that had sleeves up to here, hair uncovered etc... and she was the Rabbi's mother. And I said to myself, that's why we have such a good Rabbi here - he battled his way in from the outside, and he is an idealist, there is a fire in him that you won't find in other Rabbis like that, who are the same age in the same status in life.
Therefore we have to understand that. These people are a big capital, that's why we're looking for them, we try to rope them in; some of them are our very best. Avraham Avinu was catalyzed because he was in the house where idolatry was a business! He saw his father polishing up the idols for sale, and it was only because he grew up in such a house that Avraham began to think about it. That's why he rebelled against it, and he began to theorize, and he became Avraham.
Why did Moshe become so great? He was in the house of Pharoh the oppressor, he was oppressing the Jews, and Moshe was thinking, "What's this? Why oppress them? Why are they downtrodden for nothing?" And he began to compare the Jews to the Gentiles, and he came to the realization that a great travesty of history is taking place! That the wicked are oppressing the righteous, and he began to understand, and that made him great.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Is it possible to teach children to appreciate the world?
ANSWER:
Absolutely! That's where it should be taught, and you should teach a child and tell him. Isn't it beautiful that the sun is shining now? Explain the benefits of the sun. In the summer time the sun warms you, walk on the sunny side of the street, and walk on the sunny side of life. The sun gives vitamins to you as it hits your skin; the sun gives you light, and it's all free energy, no landlord will send you a bill. Con Edison won't send you a bill for the daytime light.
It's so beautiful the sunlight; it's a moshol of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The gemara says that the sun is a moshol of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, just like the sun floods the world with light, happiness, and joy, so does Hakadosh Baruch Hu. You can teach children to enjoy sun - we have to teach ourselves too, by the way, let's enjoy the sun. You make the biggest brocho in davening on the sun, doesn't it show the hypocrisy among us? The longest brocho on davening is on the sun, baruch ata Hashem yotzer ohr, and it concludes yotzer ha'meoros, and the malochim are so excited over the sun that they say, kadosh, kadosh, kadosh bra'ash gadol...with excitement! And we who are the recipients of all this, we're not interested, we're asleep.
So there's a lot of work to be done, on children and on ourselves.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Important Numbers
