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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 2370 The Yom Kippur Pains
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Q. I daven in a shul that is frequented by baalei teshuva, and I have seen some very weird practices and customs that some adopted. Is it correct to place little stones or gravel on one's tennis shoes on Yom Kippur and walk around in pain with them for penitence? I have seen a few stand the whole day in their place without going to sleep or even moving, is that allowed?
A. On question 1459 regarding if there is a mitzva of simcha on Yom Kippur we wrote: "Talmud (Taanis 30b) teaches that there were no greater Yomim Tovim than Yom Kipur' since it was a day of forgiveness and redemption. Rabbenu Yonah (Shaarei Teshuva 4: 8) mentions that the seudos (feasts) one celebrates on Erev Yom Kippur, are related to seudos of Yom Tov, See Sichos Rav Sh. D. Pincus (p. 287). He also mentions (p. 339) that since it is also the day of the giving of the Torah, (2nd. Luchos) it became 'Beyom Simchas Libo,' Yom Kipur is also included on the two Torah chapters of the moadim and is included in the hekesh comparison that unites them all.
The issue appears to hinge on a dispute among the tanna’im in the mishna in Moed Katan (19a) as to whether or not Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kipur cancel aveilus. As we accept Rabban Gamliel’s ruling, that “Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are like the Shalosh Regalim with respect to aveilus, we may deduce that according to Halacha, the simcha obligation indeed applies on Yom Kipur too.
If someone mistakenly recited the brocho of 'Lehadlik ner shel YomTov' on Yom Kipur candle lightning instead of 'Ner shel Yom Hakipurum,' Poskim maintain that after the fact he complies and he does not have to repeat the brocho. (Maharam Brisk 2: 44, Kovetz Sifsei Chachomim, Hisorerus Teshuva 122, Nitei Gavriel 25: 6. See also Kovetz Halochos 28: 2)
However, Maseches Sofrim (19: 6) maintains that we do not mention (on the tefilos) on Yom Kippur that it is a Yom Tov, Moed or simcha, since there is no simcha without eating.
Similarly,Mateh Efraim (582: 2) opines that when Yom Kippur coincides with Shabbos, we recite; 'Boyi beshalom' betzahala, and omit besimcha.
As we mentioned in regards to Rosh Hashana (Q. 1437 and 1438) the shalmei simcha offerings are not brought, and there is no requirement to partake of the sacrificial meat of shelamim; and on Yom Kippur we fast.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that there is a mitzva of simcha on Yom Kippur, but different than on the other Yomim Tovim."
Besides the mitzva of simcha, Mishna Berura (610: 9) quotes that one must honor Yom Kippur by wearing clean clothing and lighting candles. Talmud (Yuma 74b) teaches that although, the Torah instructed us that on Yom Kippur we must afflict our souls, should we then seat by the heat of the sun or outside in the cold to torment ourselves? That is why the Torah added: No melacha or work should be done. Just like that is a negative prohibition of refraining from work, similarly the affliction ordained is only in abstaining from food and drink etc. and not in active torture and distress.
Piskei Teshuvos (610: 4) quoting various sources rules that besides the five afflictions of abstention that our Sages gave us, it is prohibited to commit additional actions that cause pain and distress and he quotes the Sheiltos and others sources mentioned above. The sources assert that there is indeed a mitzva of simcha and oneg on Yom Kippur too. Elef Hamogen (ibid: 16) mentions that placing stones or gravel inside shoes, is prohibited also by the interdiction of following the ways of the worshiping nations.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a mentioned that there may be also a muktza prohibition involved on the stones and gravel.
The Rov also pointed out to the Yesod Veshoresh Haavoda (2: Shaar Hoeisson 10) where he stresses again and again how crucial it is that the afflictions of Yom Kippur, should all be done with great simcha and love to Hashem.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2019 8:59 PM |
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# 2369 A File on Charges
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Q. I have an internet service that scheduled and charged my credit card on Saturday (or Yom Tov).
Is that a problem?
Can you respond quickly - not sure if I have to do anything?
Thank you
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if no specific instruction were given for the charge to take effect on Shabbos and it is done each time automatically without your acceptance or agreement, it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2019 8:28 PM |
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# 2368 Shiur on Shiurim
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Q. I was also wondering, one that can't fast the complete day on Yom Kippur, but has an option of eating shiurim or small amounts from the morning on, and that will be enough for him to fast the whole day. Should he do that or better don't eat at all, until he has to eat a complete meal later on during the day?
A. Igrois Moshe (4: 121), Shemiras Shabbos K' (39: n. 69) quoting RS'Z Auerbach zt'l, Mikroei Kodesh (40) quoting RZ'P Frank zt'l and others maintain that it is better to begin eating shiurim early in the day. Others assert that it depends on the case. If the patient is already in a state of illness that carries some danger to life, it is better to begin eating shiurim early in the day. However, if the patient is not at all in life danger now, but if he fasts there may be a possibility, that he may intensify his illness to that degree, since now he is not in any real danger, he should avoid eating even shiurim, which carry a Biblical prohibition. After all, if his illness does increase, he can then eat as he needs.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that in doubt, one should be machmir on pikuach nefesh and eat or drink shiurim to avoid a later danger.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2019 7:49 PM |
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# 2367 Ransom which Tzom?
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Q. My elderly father has problems fasting, but he usually is able to fast. His doctor told him if he prepares and eats properly the weeks before, he can try even in full day fasts. The question arose on fasting on Tzom Gedalyah that is shorter and easier, he didn't fast because he wanted to fast Yom Kippur. Did he do the right thing or should he rather have fasted Tzom Gedalyah that came first?
A. On a similar question (1853), we wrote: "Poskim disagree whether it is better to observe the taanis now at hand and fast on Tzom Gedalia, even if that may cause not fasting on Yom Kippur, since that would be considered then a “ones” or being beyond one’s control and exempt of any culpability. (Sdei Chemed – M. Yom Kipurim 1: 10).
However, many Poskim maintain and recommend not to fast on Tzom Gedalia if that would jeopardize the fasting on Yom Kippur. (see Tzitz Eliezer 10: 25 and Piskei Teshuvos 602: 1).
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is to follow in principle this last opinion, however a competent Rov should be consulted to verify the reality of the threatening medical condition."
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/7/2019 7:46 PM |
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# 2366 What a Brocho Teshuva Is
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Q. If one is certain that he is going to do teshuva on something wrong he did, does he make a bracha when making teshuva? What bracha? Does he say it when reciting viduy?
A. Beis Yitzchok (Nitzovim 193) maintains that although, teshuva is a positive mitzva, one does not recite a brocho on it, following the Rashbo's opinion (Teshuvos 18) that one does not recite on a mitzva that came by an aveira, the sin he is now repenting from.
He adds that since teshuva could be accomplished with only a thought, as the Talmud (Kiddushin 49b) teaches, we don't recite a blessing on "devarim shebalev" or just thoughts on ones heart, as Beis Yosef (434) asserts in regards to bitul chametz.
Likutei Shoshanim (p. 188) explains that since the mitzva is constant and without interruption, no brocho was dedicated for it. He also mentions that we actually already have a brocho for teshuva we recite three times a day in the amida. He adds another seven reasons, that include the doubts of future compliance.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that, since as mentioned above, teshuva can be done with just a decision in one's mind, he already complied with the mitzva immediately at that time, and the brocho would not be "over leasiyosso" before the mitzva is done, as is usually required.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/6/2019 4:01 PM |
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# 2365 Is This Good for Kappores?
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Q, We usually make kapparot with chickens. I have learned that if one's wife is pregnant, one should procure for her two chickens and one rooster, in case the baby is a boy or a girl. Can you rely on an ultrasound test and just bring a chicken for the mother and a rooster for the baby boy?
A. Contemporary Poskim differ, some maintain that one can rely on the ultrasound images for kappores purposes (Kone Bosem 2: 20 and others). Minchas Yitzchok disagrees.
A physician advised, that it depends on what gender the test shows.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one may rely in our days on an ultrasound test for kappores purposes.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/6/2019 3:59 PM |
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# 2364 Soften the Blow
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Q. A 5 year old child had a cold and stayed home on Rosh Hashana. He was very upset he couldn't hear the shofar, his father borrowed a shofar and blew for him some kolos to make him happy. Is that considered chinuch of children, which is permitted on Rosh Hashana after one already complied with the mitzva?
Maybe chinuch is teaching the child to blow shofar himself, and not blowing for him? Should he better have asked another older youngster, that knows how, to blow for him?
A. Shulchan Aruch (589: 2) rules that a minor is exempt from the mitzva of shofar and cannot blow to exempt grownups. However, Remoh (596: 1) maintains that one may tell a minor even if he has reached the age of chinuch, to blow during the whole day even after he has already complied with the mitzva. Mishna Berura (ibid. 3) rules that when one does not need to blow for complying with the mitzva anymore, it is Rabbinically prohibited to do so, as would be blowing during any other Yom Tov. Although, he quotes the opinion of the Taz that Rosh Hashana is different, he maintains that most Poskim are stringent.
Pri Megodim (E'A' ibid: 4) and Chayei Adam (141: 7) opine that an adult who was already yotze, may blow for them when they recite the bocho, other Poskim are stringent (Piskei Teshuvos (589: n. 10).
Mikroei Kodesh (26) maintains that an advanced minor, may blow for a younger one, however, others disagree.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that in our case, it would be better to have the minor himself try to blow the shofar. (His short sounds may comply with Rashi's opinion). Or have another older minor blow for him.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/6/2019 3:57 PM |
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# 2363 Let Them Eat Cake?
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Q. The minhag of our family is to abstain from eating nuts the complete Aseres Yemei Teshuva, can I eat in a kiddush a cake that contains nuts?
A. On question1843 regarding the extend of the minhag of eating nuts, we wrote: "There are different minhogim mentioned by Poskim regarding the time one keeps this tradition.
From Remoh’s (O.H. 583: 2) citation of the minhag, it would seem that it applies only to Rosh Hashono. However, Nitei Gavriel (Rosh Hashana 6: 8, quoting Beis Hayotzer and others) mentions that some observe it during the whole month of Elul until Hoshano Rabbo. Others maintain only from the beginning of selichos (Ktzei Hamateh and others). Chassam Soffer would restrict the minhag only to Rosh Hashono itself, while his Rebbe, Horav Nosson Adler zt’l only until the second day at chatzos. (Piskei Teshuvos 583: 7). See next question in regards to the reasons of this tradition.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one should maintain his family’s and community traditions."
Beer Moshe (3: 97) tends to be lenient on foods that have nuts mixed into them when not in Rosh Hashono, however he mentions that the one who is stringent deserves blessings. (See also Piskei Teshuvos 583: 7).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that although in our case there is place to be lenient, in principle each individual should maintain the traditions and minhogim of his family and community.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 10/4/2019 2:04 PM |
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# 2362 Take your Seat
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Q. Why in some shuls the chazan begins singing Hamelech from his seat and then approaches the amud?
A. See similar question 1776 where we answered:
"Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that on the Yomim Noroim we are requested to be “machriz,” proclaim and assert that Hashem is king. Therefore, we do it in a more explicit and expressive way.
Horav Ribiat Shlit'a quoted from seforim that explain that the Talmud (Gittin 56b) relates that when Vespasian demanded from Rabi Yochanan ben Zakai; “If you insist that I am the king, why then did you not come until now?” Therefore, the shaliach tzibur proclaims that Hashem is king, as soon as he begins his service, even before he reaches the amud."
Horav Dovid Bartfeld Shlit'a contributed two more reasons, namely: The Barditchever Rebbe compared it, to a coach being attacked by robbers and out of desperation one traveler screams aloud; The King! I see The King! And the robbers, out of fear run away. We too scream Hamelech from our seats, so that the Soton, that tends to rob us from having proper concentration and devotion in our tefilos on this most crucial and important day, should run away.
He also quoted Horav Melech Biderman Shlit'a that everyone experiences the presence of the King of the Universe in his own particular way, understanding and perception, so to say; from his own seat.
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Posted 9/29/2019 4:52 PM |
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# 2361 Nuts Over Nuts?
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Q. Regarding the minhag not to eats nuts during the aseret yemei teshuva (because the gematria of egoz is the same as that of cheit), to which nuts does this actually apply?
Walnuts are called Egozei Melech.
Hazelnuts are called Egozei Luz.
Almonds are called shekeidim.
Pecans are called Pecanim.
Etc.
To which nuts does this minhag actually apply?
Thanks, and ktiva vchatima tova.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that all nuts that are known as or named egoz, even when they have an additional name, would qualify to be included in the minhag of not eating them on Rosh Hashana.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/29/2019 4:13 PM |
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# 2360 Feast of Creation
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Q. Should a seudas hodoa or a festive meal be done for the newly converted?
A. Madrich Lager (p. 86) quotes that some would advise not to do so, since this seuda is not mentioned by the Poskim. However his opinion is that in principle a thanksgiving meal should be done as we do in a bar mitzva, and it would be considered a seudas mitzva.
Horav Moishe M. Lowy Shlit'a mentioned that we find that Yisro made a Seudah after he was megayer. (Ramban). Therefore, it would be appropriate to make some type of Seudah.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that it is best to serve a kiddush or similar as a seudas hodoa.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/29/2019 3:41 PM |
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# 2359 Welcome to Your Home
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Q. What is the correct way to salute a newly converted Ger that one encounters after the immersion in the mikva? Does one have to say Shalom Aleichem? Does one have to recite Shecheyanu?
A. Maseches Gerim (1) mentions that after the tevila we entreat and encourage the ger with words of blessing and inspiration, such as: Fortunate are you that merited to join the Creator of the Universe and to join the ones called His children. (Birkei Yosef Y.D 268).
The new name is given after the immersion and usually a Mi Sheberach is also recited. There are different traditions and nuschaos as to the tefilos that are then said (See Igrois Moshe Y.D. 1: 161: 162 - Madrich Lager p. 85, Dinei Hagiyur Vehager).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one does not need to greet with Shalom Aleichem and should not recite shecheyanu when encountering the newly converted, but may bless them and say mazal tov.
Horav Moishe M. Lowy Shlit'a added that one has a mitzvah to greet the convert beahava, with love. Say Mazel Tov and give them a big welcome to Klal Yisroel for becoming part of the Am Hashem.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/29/2019 3:38 PM |
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# 2358 Torah Deal or Just a Meal
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Q. Can someone who usually fasts on Erev Rosh Hashana when possible, attend a siyum and thus avoid fasting?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that this case is similar to the Taanis Bechoros on Erev Pesach, where firstborns can avoid the traditional fast by attending a siyum.
The Rov added that although attending a siyum is a very important mitzva of joining and encouraging others that have learned and celebrating with them the successful culmination of their Torah efforts, especially on Erev Rosh Hashana, it should be done with the right and proper intentions and not just for avoiding a fast.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a.
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Posted 9/27/2019 2:33 PM |
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# 2357 A Late Train
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Q. Can a Baal Tokea blow shofar to train and prepare on the night of Rosh Hashana or on the morning before davening, if he has then specific intention of not being yotze with the mitzva?
A. See questions 858, 859 and 867, on the permissibility of blowing shofar at night during Elul; were we wrote: Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that one may blow at night the shofar for learning purposes.
However, the Rov rules that on Yom Tov itself, one should not blow when it is not for the purpose of the mitzva as is mentioned by Poskim, including in the morning before davening.
The Rov suggested that if the baal tokea feels he needs more preparation and training, he should do so in privacy before mincha on Erev Yom Tov, or in the morning of Rosh Hashana, while visiting one unable to come to shul, with the intention of being motze him, without being yotze himself.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 2:09 PM |
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# 2356 Stay Home?
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Q. Does an avel during shiva go to shul on Erev Rosh Hashana? If he does and that is the last day of shiva, does he return home or he is lifted from shiva at the shul?
A. Remah (O.H. 581: 1) rules that an ovel is prohibited from leaving home to go to shul and recite selichos, excluding Erev Rosh Hashana when many selichos are said. Mishna Berura (ibid. 8) quotes Magen Avrohom that the same applies to Erev Yom Kippur in locations where they also recite many more selichos.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that even if the ovel can marshal a minyan for selichos at home, but the davening in shul is more spiritually meaningful and is done with significant more kavanah and many more selichos are recited on these most important occasion, he is allowed to attend shul.
The Rov added that after davening, the ovel returns home and ends shiva there.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 1:57 PM |
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# 2355 Dure and Easy
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Q. Why are the piyutim of the Selichos so complicated, and difficult to understand as they use words that are totally unknown to most of us? They probably were also challenging and cryptic to the masses in the days they were composed. So why not recite piyutim that we all can easily understand and have proper kavana?
A. In Ahavas Tzion (Drosho 12) R. S. Lando zt'l (son of the Noda Beyehuda), when stating the importance of using Lashon Hakodesh in all our tefilos and piyutim, explains that an essential part of prayer is elevating ourselves, by the expressions and idioms that we use to call on Hashem and to address Him.
Vavei Hoamudim (by the son of the Sheloh, printed in his sefer) quotes Sefer Chasidim, who exhorts and demands from the masses to establish classes and shiurim, to learn all about and to explain the meaning of "tefilos, piyutim and selichos."
In that sense, the use of an elevated and prominent vocabulary was indeed intentional, to create the need of learning the pirush hamilos and the profound meaning of the selichos. This became an elemental and intrinsic hachana or spiritual preparation, for davening to Hashem.
Nitei Gavriel (Rosh Hashana 10: 4) writes that it is proper for one who does not understand the words said in selichos, to use a sefer that has translation and explanations.
He quotes (ibid. n. 6) that the Lebush Mordechai would indeed sit and learn the pirush hamilos of selichos, adding that tefilos he understands a bit, but selichos not so much.
Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a added that on the other hand, often when simple people recite tefilos they don't understand, on the contrary, they put all their heart into them. An example would be the recitation of Kol Nidrei.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 1:40 PM |
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# 2354 Say it Right
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Q. We mention always we are going to "say Selichos," in Hebrew we say "omrim Selichos," or "zogg'n Selichos" in Yidish. Should not the correct expression be "ask Selichos or lebakesh or betn?" After all, we are imploring and beseeching Hashem to forgive us, not just telling Him to do so? Don't we ussually refer to Tefila, as davening or praying?
A. There could be an allusion to be forgiving to others and saying to them I forgive you, before we ask Hashem to absolve us.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that we are addressing the act itself and not the way or form we should apply to it.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 1:21 PM |
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# 2353 The Law on Bending
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Q. Can one to avoid giving a handshake to a woman, bow slightly with palms together, as Hindu and Buddhist do (namaste greeting)?
A. We do find that Avraham Avinu greeted the B'nei Cheiss more profusely (24: 7) And Avraham arose and prostrated himself to the people of the land, to the sons of Cheiss.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that the Namaste greeting, since commonly done by all in those countries, does not carry in our days any religious connotation. Namaste translates as bowing down.
The Rov also related a similar case when Horav Eliezer Silver zt'l met with the former first lady Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt and she extended her hand to greet him. He quickly reacted by taking off his hat and bowing to her, thus elegantly avoiding a handshake.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 1:12 PM |
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# 2352 Seasoned Greetings
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Q. Can a man greet a woman using a high-five or fist-bump salutation? How about if he is careful not to touch her hand, (he retrieves it fast, before they touch)?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that if it is done respectfully and his hand is retrieved before she has the opportunity to rise hers, or at least they don't touch, in need it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 1:01 PM |
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# 2351 On a Handshake
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Q. I am working in a lawyer's office. The lawyer is frum, but on the modern side. There is a client that came in and the lawyer shook hands with her. Afterwards, the lady extended her hand to me. My practice is never to shake hands with any lady under any circumstances, with no exceptions. What should I do, to avoid embarrassing my boss? It is obvious that we are both Yidden, so I cannot say that for religious reasons I don't shake hands. I also don't feel like giving this lady a lecture on how there are different opinions in Judaism.
A. On question 1336 in regard to returning a handshake to a non-Jewish lady, who is the CEO of the company, when she introduces herself to the prospective frum worker, and extends her hand to him in greeting, we wrote: Most Poskim prohibit returning a handshake. One of the first was Od Yosef Chai, (P. Shoftim 22) who quotes the European practice of clenching the hands of the host and hostess when arriving in a person's home, and states that because this expresses mutual feelings of friendship and affection, it is considered derech chibah or an affectionate act and therefore forbidden. Igrois Moshe (O. H. 1: 114) maintains that the modern handshake is likewise proscribed, even though it has become the standard greeting for men and women alike. Many other Poskim likewise rule that one may not shake any woman's hand, Jewish or not: (Oz Nidberu 2:73, Be'er Moshe 4:130,, Rivevos Efraim 8:596:8, Avnei Yashfei 2:89:1. Emes Le-Yaakov Even Ha-Ezer 21, footnote 4; Beis Avi 2:121. et. al.). There are some dissenting opinions, specially when causing embarrassment or kavod habrios is involved. It also should be mentioned that in modern times, a refusal to return a handshake is not anymore considered by many as embarrassing someone. This is due to the fact that this is constantly done by observers of other religions and individuals afraid of disease contamination).
In your particular case, foreseeing what is about to happen, one may just quickly take out a tissue from one's pocket and pretend to clean one's nose.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that one should point to an imaginary wound or pain in his hand. (See next questions).
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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Posted 9/27/2019 12:53 PM |
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Important Numbers
