This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
QUESTION:
Should one be mispallel for children even years before he's married?
ANSWER:
Certainly, he should be mispallel for his future. You should ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu that you should live long, when you're young, because it's important what happens in your youth. Sometimes chalila something happens in your youth that it'll make it impossible to live long, therefore you have to pray for a long life. Even a child should pray for long life. To pray far ahead of time for children? Absolutely! You should pray for a lot of things beforehand, and the best time to pray is before you find yourself in a fix.
When Iyov was in trouble, his friends said to him, (Iyov 36:19) ha'yaroch shuacho lo batzor, did you set forth your prayers, your outcry, when you were not yet in distress? Which means, you waited only till now to pray? You hear that accusation? Ha'yaroch shuacho lo batzor, did you cry out when you weren't in trouble? So the time to cry out is when you're well. Then Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, look this man is well and still he cries out to Me, so I'll see that he remains well. But if a man waits until chas v'ashalom, and then he cries out, it helps also but it doesn't have the ethichsy of crying out when you're well.
When a man is young and healthy, zchor es borecho b'mai b'churosecho, remember your borei when you're young. Of course when you're old and all your bones are aching already and your eyes are dim, and your stomach doesn't act properly, a lot of things are troubling you, and you cry out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, you remember Him? Very good, it's a very good thing, but how much better it would have been when you were full of juice, and your joints were lubricated, and everything was working well, then you cried out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu....
Zchor es borecho b'mai b'churosecho, when you're young remember Him, that's the best thing. Certainly you should cry out to Hashem long before you need it.
Parshas Toldos 5776
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
QUESTION:
Why did Yaakov Avinu merely take the bechoro away from Eisav? Why didn't he guide him in the right direction? Didn't he have opportunities to teach Eisav the truth?
ANSWER:
Let me explain something to you. Eisav was the older brother; he was born a minute before Yaakov Avinu and Yaakov Avinu called him adoni, my master. In those days they respected their older brother; the gemoro says that you have to respect your older brother. Eisav wouldn't take any instruction from Yaakov Avinu! My little brother, I know more than he does. I know how to shoot arrows, I know how to catch deer. He's a batlan (loser) that sits all day long in the house and listens to the father's Torah, mother's Torah. Shma b'ni musar avicha, al titosh toras imecha, what does he know?
Does he know how to climb trees? Does he know how to shoot deer? I'm a capable person! Therefore he looked down on Yaakov Avinu and wouldn't listen to him. Lo ye'ehav letz hocheiach (Mishlei 15:12), the letz doesn't want anybody to criticize him, el chachomim lo yeilech. Certainly if Eisav would have listened, Yaakov surely would have saved his life, would have saved his neshomo. But Eisav was far away from listening to anybody, he didn't even listen to his parents. Yaakov at least listened to his parents, Eisav didn't listen to anybody.
Therefore the man that doesn't want to listen, he thinks he's a chochom, he thinks he's arum (cunning), he's the fool whose life is wasted.
Parshas Chayei Sarah 5776
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
QUESTION:
What is the significance of a yartzeit for parents? What should you do on that day?
ANSWER:
You should know, that there's a kapara for meisim, kapeir l'amcha yisroel asher padiso. The gemoro says, kapeir l'amacha eilu hachayim, asher padisa eilu hameisim, so there's a kapara for meisim.
When children utilize the kapara day for their parents - not only on the yartzeit, but anytime, however a yartzeit is specially chosen to remind you - to do some mitzvah for his parents, even to drop a penny in the pushka. If the parents can come back to drop a penny in the pushka, they'd be overjoyed. Once more to be able to do a mitzvah, even the smallest mitzvah would be a tremendous gift for people that left this life.
Since they cannot do it themselves, your hand should be the hand of your parents. You do mitzvos, maasim tovim, learn Torah, whatever you do on the yartzeit, if you do it l'zchus of your parents, you should know you're giving them the very greatest gift. Even though you're not thinking, you're not m'chaven for them it's theirs anyhow, because broh mezakeh abba, broh kareh d'avuha.
Therefore it's a very great benefit to parents whose children do mitzvos, are ovdei Hashem, and it's the biggest nachas for parents in Gan Eden when their children are earning maasim tovim for the credit to their parents.
וה' אמר המכסה אני מאברהם אשר אני עשה וגו' כי ידעתיו למען אשר יצוה את בניו ואת ביתו אחריו (יח:יז-יט)
And HaShem said, "Shall I conceal from Avrohom what I am doing? For I have known him because he commands his sons and his household after him etc. (18:17-19)
As the wickedness and corruption of Sedom reached an all-time high, HaShem decided that the city must be destroyed. The Torah tells us that HaShem said, “Shall I conceal from Avrohom what I am doing? He will be a great nation; the entire world will be blessed by him. I love him because he commands his sons to keep the ways of HaShem.” Therefore, HaShem decides to reveal His plan of destruction.
This is a phenomenon that has no parallel to it anywhere else in the entire Tanach. Nowhere do we encounter HaShem being “unsure” if He should reveal His plan to the navi. When there was information available to Yeshaya, Yirmiya, Yechezkel or any of the neviim, HaShem revealed it. Yet by Avrohom, it seems as if HaShem is wavering on whether to say or not, ultimately deciding to say it.
The Chasam Sofer discusses this question in his introduction to Y”D called Pituchei Chosam. Before getting to his answer, we should preface by mentioning that the Chasam Sofer was one of the busiest people in the world. He filled three vital roles. He was a Rav of a large kehilla; he was a Rosh Yeshiva and he wrote response to questions that came to him from all over the world. The answer that we will present is most definitely befitting for the one that said it.
The reason why HaShem was vacillating between revealing the information to Avrohom or not is because in reality, the great Avrohom Avinu was not on a high enough level to receive prophecy! (I needed to read this twice to believe what the Chasam Sofer had written.) Surely, had he been on the required level, HaShem would have told him as was the practice with all neviim. However, Avrohom was simply not holding there, and HaShem decided to reveal it to him in any event.
But what does this mean? Of course he was a navi. Rashi (20:8) writes about Avrohom Avinu, “that he was a navi and he knew that she hadn’t been touched”. The Chasam Sofer explains that in order to become a navi, one must be in the proper frame of mind; they must go into seclusion, meditating on the greatness of HaShem, contemplating the most spiritual matters. Avrohom was not able to do these things. Not because he was not great enough. AVROHOM WAS TOO BUSY TO BECOME A NAVI! He was busy influencing the world, bringing them close to HaShem, preaching the idea of monotheism and teaching all about HaShem echad.
In order to influence the masses and raise them up, he needed to do it from their lowly level. What good would raising himself up to a level of prophecy accomplish if he couldn’t use it for the people? Is there a purpose in climbing the spiritual summit if it won’t contribute anything to HaShem? As a result of Avrohom’s great love for HaShem, he decided to forgo becoming a navi, in order to be available to change the world. Ultimately, he succeeded in bringing tens of thousands under the “wings of the Shechina”.
HaShem responded, “I have prophecy to tell him, but he is not on that level, so I can’t tell him. But how can I not tell him? He isn’t on the level because of his love for Me. Should he lose out as a result?” One never loses out from doing the right thing! HaShem granted him the prophecy even though he was not on the level.
(The Netziv writes that this is the reason why we find that Sarah was on a greater level of prophecy than Avrohom.)
Now that the winter is here and the days are much shorter, the question of leaving the office in the middle of work to daven mincha comes up. “How can I leave the office in the middle of a busy day to daven? What will be with the business? Maybe I will just daven by the “kotel”- i.e. without a minyan.” The Ksav Sofer writes the same answer as we saw above from his father that one never loses out from doing the right thing. In Parshas Eikev on the possuk in Shema that each of us say three times a day: ולעבדו בכל לבבכם ובכל נפשכם ונתתי מטר ארצכם בעתו- he explains the connection between davening and working in the possuk as follows: There can be a set time for work, but at certain intervals, that time coincides with the set time of davening with a minyan. If a person puts davening on top of his list, HaShem will not allow any harm to come from this. Furthermore, HaShem Himself gives the blessing on the person’s business.
May we merit keeping in mind this lesson of Avrohom Avinu’s willingness to give up from himself for HaShem, and HaShem in turn viewing that with love, and completing that which would have been missing!
Good Shaabos, מרדכי אפפעל
Dvar Torah - By Michael Zaroovabeli
This Dvar Torah is dedicated to Neor Shalev ben Rut who was recently hurt in a terrorist attack - if you would like to dedicate a Dvar Torah please email me!)
We learned at the end of last weeks reading, Bereishit, that G-d saw that man kind was behaving badly, there was a huge rate of immorality, idolatry and robbery, and G-d resolved to bring the flood which went on to destroy all the earths inhabitants except for the righteous Noach, his family and sufficient animals of all different kinds to repopulate the earth after the flood (Bereishit 6:5-7).
Noach was commanded to build an ark (Bereishit 6:14), being given a period of 120 years to do this. While building the ark, he was given the job to try and get all the other people on earth to repent and follow the ways of G-d, however he failed in getting the people to repent and many commentaries criticized him for that.
There was a sharp contrast between Noach and Avraham, we will learn in Parshah Vayera (in two weeks time), that Avram will bring many people to follow the ways of G-d and to repent, and he will even pray for the wicked to change their ways (when he davens to spare the city of Sodom in the merit of the righteous people of that city (Bereishit 18:24-33)), however Noach did not pray for the rest of the people to repent.
After failing to bring the nation to repent, there was an unlikely extra passenger that attached himself to the ark, that person was the giant OG (Zevachim 113b) (whom later proves to be a massive opponent of the Jews in the book of Bamidbar). After forty days and nights, the flood covered even the tops of the highest mountains on earth. After 150 days (Bereishit 8:3) the water started to recede and on the 17th day of the 7th month, the ark came to rest on the Mountain of Ararat (Bereishit 8:4). Eventually G-d commanded Noach and his family to depart from the ark.
Noach then brought sacrifices to G-d from the animals which were carried in the ark for this purpose. G-d then vowed to never again flood the entire world (Bereishit 8:21) and then designated the rainbow as a sign of this covenant (Bereishit 9:12-13).
The Parshah continues by telling us that Noach and his descendants were now permitted to slaughter and eat meat, due to Noach taking care of the animals in the ark. G-d then commanded the Seven Noachide (Universal) Laws, for all people of all nations to keep; the prohibitions against idolatry, adultery, theft, blasphemy, murder, eating meat torn from a live animal, and the obligation to set up a legal system.
The reading progresses to list the offspring of Noach's three sons (Shem (Malkitzedek), Yefet and Cham) from whom the seventy nations of the world descend from.
The Torah then continues to illustrate the incident of the Tower of Bavel (Bereishit 11:1-9), which resulted in G-d fragmenting communication into many languages and the dispersal of the nations throughout the globe. All of man kind were living in the same area, and decided to build a huge tower, which they believed would later shelter them from another flood. Despite the people were doing this to fight against Hashem, they were all united together, so Hashem had mercy among the rebellious people and did not wipe out all of them just like he had done in the flood, we learn from this that when people are united together, Hashem will show more mercy to them if they do wrong.
However the main point of life is that everyone should be united together in following the ways of the Torah!!!
The Parshah concludes with the genealogy of Noach to Avram. From the last part of the Torah reading we learn of Avram’s faith in G-d, as he admonishes idolatry and is sent by his father, Terach, to the first ‘mighty man,’ Nimrod. Nimrod tried to entice Avram into idolatry in a public ceremony, if he refused to bow to the idol, Avram would face the death penalty. However Avram refused, and was thrown into a fiery furnace by Nimrod, however a miracle occurred, he did not burn in the fire, and walked out without a single burn on his body, to Nimrod’s shock (Pesachim 118a). Avram had really strong faith and perfect belief in G-d, recognizing that there is only one G-d and admonishing idol worship. By refusing to worship the idol, Avram performed a sanctification of G-d’s name.
Hope you all have a fantastic Shabbat, Shabbat Shalom!!
HaShem said to Noach, "The end of all flesh has come before Me, for the earth has become full of robbery because of them, and behold I am destroying them from the earth (6:13)
The gemara in Mesichta Sanhedrin tells us in the name of Rav Yochanan, “come and see how far reaching are the consequences of chamas/robbery. The generation of the mobul transgressed everything that they were commanded; they were guilty of the most wicked behaviours. Yet, the decree of their punishment was not sealed upon them until they stretched forth their hands to engage in robbery”. Rashi writes the famous words here, lo nechtam gezar dinam ela al hagezel-their punishment (was not) sealed only because of robbery.
Of course, the mabul was a punishment for all of their sins, especially their immorality, however, the “final straw that broke the camel’s back” was robbery.
The obvious question that needs to be asked is that every last major and minor sin of the Torah had been violated at that point. The entire world was in a state of chaotic despair. Destruction of the world was indeed necessary for so many reasons; even the ground itself was no longer able to pass the most basic of environmental tests. The world had been corrupted at its very core! Why did it take the sin of robbery to go ahead and finally cause HaShem to “hit the reset button”?
I heard an answer in the name of Rav Avrohom Pam z”l in explanation of this chazal as follows: HaShem created the world for the purpose of giving chessed to others. HaShem has in Him a desire to shower His goodness upon the world, and in turn, HaShem expects us to do the same, emulating Him and following His footsteps. Olam chessed yibaneh- The world was built on the principals of chessed. It was created specifically to teach us how to be kind to one another and to be giving of ourselves.
When HaShem sees us acting kind with one another, even if there are major problems in other areas, HaShem still says that the purpose of the world has been fulfilled and it is worthwhile to keep around. However, once the world became full of chamas, it was clear to HaShem that the world’s purpose of chessed no longer was in place. Of course there was no excuse for the other sins of mankind, but at the very least, there was still a purpose. Now that robbery had occurred, there was absolutely no reason to keep the world around. The whole concept of giving to each other was gone. Instead of being givers, the world was full of takers. Yes the other sins were on the highest level, but they did not erase the purpose of creation.
This explanation sheds light on another aspect of Noach’s existence during the mobul. The gemara in Sanhedrin (108b) relates that many years after the mobul, Eliezer the servant of Avrohom met Shem the son of Noach. Eliezer asked Shem to describe what life was like during the year in the teiva. Shem spoke of the most unbelievable burden of the hectic feeding schedule of all the animals. There was no time to even grab a coffee break. Some animals needed to be fed in the morning and some at night; some this type of food and some another type. We all recall Rashi’s comment that Noach was once a moment late in bringing food to the lion and he received a bite.
At the same time, the entire existence of Noach and his family in the taiva for the year was clearly super natural. According to the Malbim, the best boat in the world would not have been able to withstand the boiling hot and turbulent waters of the mobul, save for nothing less than a miracle. If so many miracles occurred, why couldn’t HaShem have performed another miracle in sustaining the animals in a miraculous way as opposed to feeding the animals with their bare hands on such a difficult schedule?
According to what we mentioned above from Rav Pam z”l, the answer is very simple. Olam chessed yibaneh- The world was built on the principals of chessed. It was created specifically to teach us how to be kind to one another and to be giving of ourselves. The first world was destroyed because it was devoid of chessed, and it therefore lost its right to exist. Surely HaShem could have performed another miracle here in the taiva by taking care of the animals on His own. But HaShem wanted Noach and his family to work tirelessly at the middah of chessed, in this manner, once again setting down the foundation for the new world.
When a person performs an act of chessed, (keveyachol) HaShem looks at the deed and proclaims that it was for this very action that the world was created! Let’s not underrate chessed!
1. During Shacharis, Psalm 100 [Mizmor Lesoda], Tachanun, and Psalm 20 [Lamenatzayach] are not
said. This year, Avinu Malkeinu is not said.
2. It is customary to perform the “Kaparos” ceremony. One takes a chicken or rooster and waves it over
one’s head three times while saying the prayer, which is found on pg. 2-4 in the Artscroll Machzor.
The bird is then slaughtered and given to poor people. Alternatively, one can use money instead.
3. Ideally “Kaparos” should be done on Erev Yom Kippur, but if one thinks that he will be pressed for
time it may be done between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
4. Ideally separate chickens should be used for each family member, but in times of need, it may be
used several times.
5. It is a Mitzvah to eat on Erev Yom Kippur. The main custom is to eat two festive meat meals, once
around midday and again during the afternoon. It is preferable to eat chicken at these meals. Some
have a custom to eat fish also at the first meal. It is customary to eat “kreplach” – meat dumplings.
6. It is absolutely imperative that one receives forgiveness for sins committed against other people. This
includes all forms of interpersonal offences such as hurtful remarks, slander, damages, overdue
debts, dishonesty in business, not respecting parents and teachers, etc.
7. Ideally, one should ask personally by going to the person or via mail or telephone. However, if this is
difficult, or if the person will be appeased more easily by another person, then one may make use of a
third party.
8. Ideally, one should specify the sin he is asking forgiveness of. However, if one thinks that doing so
would upset the other person, one may ask in a general way.
9. It is wrong to be cruel and refuse to forgive.
10. All men are obliged to go to the Mikveh. They should optimally go between one hour before
Halachik Midday day [12:06 PM] and Mincha [Mincha in our Shul will be at 3:00 PM].
11. It is customary to dress for Yom Tov before Mincha.
12.During Mincha, the “Viduy” [confession] is said at the end of the quiet Amidah. See Artscroll Machzor
pg. 8-24.
13.The final meal before Yom Kippur is called the “Seudah Hamafsekes.” It preferably should be eaten
after one has said Mincha. One should eat light foods that are easy to digest. The custom is to eat
chicken rather than beef. The main custom is to refrain from eating fish, although some permit eating
cold fish. It is advisable not to eat hot spicy foods, eggs, or garlic, or drink wine. One should be
careful not to over-eat in order to approach Yom Kippur in a mood of fear and humility.
14. After eating, it is customary to say “Shir Hama’alos’ and to wash “Mayim Achronim” before Birchas
Hamazon. One should say Birchas Hamazon with great concentration and devotion. After Birchas
Hamazon the teeth should be cleaned well.
15. A person who wants to eat or drink after this meal should preferably say so explicitly before Birchas
Hamazon, or at least have it in mind. If he does not have this in mind, he may nevertheless eat or
drink again.
16. Women light candles no later than 6:57 PM and make two blessings: 1) “Lehadlik Ner Shel Yom
Hakipurim” and 2) “Shehechiyanu.” Women usually accept the holiness of Yom Kippur with this
candle lighting. Under extenuating circumstances, a woman may travel to Shul after candle lighting if
she had in mind when lighting that she does not yet want to accept Yom Kippur. In that circumstance,
she should only recite the first blessing over the candles and say “Shehechiyanu” with the
congregation after Kol Nidrei.
17. One should light a 24 hour Yahrzeit candle in memory of all deceased relatives. An additional candle
should be lit specifically to be used for Havdalah at the end of Yom Kippur. These candles are
generally lit by the husband.
How to Celebrate Yom Kippur – 5776
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18. Men accept the holiness of Yom Kippur during the recital of “Tefilas Zakah.” See Artscroll Machzor
pg. 38-48. It would be optimal for men to come to Shul at least 20 minutes before Kol Nidrei in order
to properly say this prayer.
19. Married men wear a Kittel the entire time that they are awake on Yom Kippur.
20. Women should wear Yom Tov clothes, but should not dress over lavishly. They may wear jewellery
that is normally worn on weekdays, but not those that are usually worn on Shabbos or Yom Tov.
21. The father gives his children a special blessing before he goes to Shul. See Artscroll Machzor pg. 32.
22. Married men should put on their Tallis before sunset in order to be able to say the blessing. If one did
not manage to put it on until after sunset, the blessing should not be said.
Laws of Yom Kippur:
In additions to the forms of work that are forbidden on Shabbos, there are five additional prohibitions:
Eating and Drinking:
1. All adult males over 13 years and females over 12 are obligated to fast the entire 25 hours.
2. Healthy children from the age of nine should be encouraged to fast part of the day by giving them
their meals at a later time than usual, both at night and during the day. Children below this age should
eat as usual. Since they are exempted from fasting, one may give them Yom Tov meals and treats in
honour of the day.
3. Pregnant and nursing women must fast like everyone else. It is strongly recommended that they rest
as much as possible in order to preserve their strength, even if it means davening little or nothing in
Shul.
4. A person whose life will or may be endangered by fasting, even in the long term, is absolutely
forbidden to fast.
5. If upon consultation with a Rabbi, you are told that for health reasons that you may eat, the maximum
quantity of solid food that may be eaten in one session is 30cc [one fluid ounce], measured by volume
and not weight. The liquid quantity is 40cc [1.3 fluid ounces]. A person may eat these quantities as
often as necessary, provided that they are in nine minute intervals. All decisions of eating on Yom
Kippur should be done in consultation with a Rabbi.
6. A person may swallow bitter or tasteless medicines in tablet, capsule, or liquid form, but not if they are
pleasant tasting. The medicine should preferably be taken without water. If one can not swallow the
capsule without any liquid, he should preferably use a bitter tasting liquid. Only as a last resort one
may use water [less than 1.3 ounces].
7. It is permitted to touch food in order to feed children or the elderly.
8. It is forbidden to rinse out the mouth whether with water or with mouthwash, even if one feels
uncomfortable.
Washing and Bathing:
1. It is forbidden to derive pleasure from washing any part of the body, whether in hot or cold water.
2. It is permitted to wash off dirt, but one should be careful to wash only the affected area.
3. When you awaken in the morning, the hands should be washed carefully up to the knuckles only [i.e.
to the end of the fingers], but one does not need to be concerned if some of the water splashes a little
further. One should wash each hand three times as usual. The stickiness in one’s eyes may be
removed with your already moist fingers.
4. After going to the bathroom, one should wash up to the knuckles only. It is sufficient to wash each
hand once.
5. Kohanim, who are washing their hands to perform the Mitzvah of blessing the congregation, are
permitted to wash the entire hand up to the wrist as usual.
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6. Children of all ages should be trained to follow the above laws, whether washing themselves or being
washed by their parents.
7. A person is permitted to allow his hands to become wet when washing food or dishes for a person
who is eating.
Applying Oils:
1. It is forbidden to apply oils or similar liquids even in a small quantity on any part of the body. This is
forbidden whether done for pleasure, cleanliness, hygiene, or personal comfort. Therefore, one may
not use perfumes or similar liquid cosmetics whether in bottles or sprays. It is permitted to apply these
products just before Yom Kippur even though one will derive pleasure on Yom Kippur.
2. It is forbidden to apply deodorants and antiperspirants on Yom Kippur, but is permitted before Yom
Kippur. One may use Talcum Powder to maintain personal comfort.
3. Children of all ages are included in these laws.
4. A sick person, who has permission to use oils on Shabbos, may do so on Yom Kippur.
Wearing Shoes:
1. According to the strict letter of the law, only shoes that are made of leather are forbidden, whereas all
other materials are permitted.
2. This prohibition applies even if only a small part of the shoe is made out of leather. Whether the
leather is found in the sole, the upper part in the sole, or just in the straps.
3. If you are unsure if the shoes are real leather or imitation, you should be strict and not wear them.
4. According to most opinions, one is permitted to wear comfortable sport shoes, etc. Some opinions
prohibit this. The reason we do not wear leather shoes is as an affliction that helps to atone for one’s
sins; and therefore such footwear is inappropriate. It is praiseworthy to try and follow this opinion and
limit oneself to thin-soled shoes that do not offer such comfort.
5. One is permitted to wear leather shoes for medical reasons. However, today many synthetic materials
are available, and one should try to obtain an alternative to leather if possible.
6. Children from the age of two to three should be taught to wear other footwear.
Marital Relations:
1. All physical contact between husband and wife is forbidden, both at night and during the day.
2. All the laws of Niddah separation should be followed and friendly chatting should be avoided.
The Viduy [Confession]:
1. One must confess sins that are contained in the Viduy even if he thinks he has not committed them.
In addition, it is proper to make specific mention of personal sins that one has committed that he feels
are not mentioned in the standard Viduy.
2. One must stand with the body bent slightly forward when saying the Viduy. [similar to the way one
stands when saying Modim] One should remain bent until after the words “Arba Misos Beis Din.”
3. One may not lean on anything to the extent that one would fall over if the object were to be removed.
One is permitted to gently lean on an object.
4. A sick or elderly person may lean on an object heavily if necessary. If this is too difficult, it is permitted
to sit when reciting the Viduy.
5. The custom is to strike the chest at the mention of each sin, during the “Al Chet.” One should strike at
the word “Shechatanu.” And during the “V’al Chataim”, at the words “She’anu Chayavim.”
Kol Nidrei:
1. It is customary to come early enough to Shul to say “Tefilah Zakah.” If there is not sufficient time to
say the entire prayer, then one should at least say the short confession and the paragraph expressing
forgiveness to other people. See Artscroll Machzor pg. 40.
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2. “Tefilah Zakah” was primarily composed for men to say. A woman who wishes to say it may do so,
omitting the lines that refer specifically to men.
3. One should read the Kol Nidrei together with the Chazzan. The annulment of vows, which is the basis
of the Kol Nidrei, is not valid unless one understands the words.
4. Women who recited the “Shehechiyanu” blessing when lighting candles may not recite it a second
time. They should just listen and say Amen. Everyone else should say the blessing together within the
Chazzan, finishing a little quicker than him in order to answer Amen to his blessing.
5. One may say the Kol Nidrei prayer alone at home; however one can only read the text that refers to
future vows and not past vows.
Miscellaneous Laws:
1. If one can not be in Shul, one can say Yizkor alone without a Minyan.
2. There are different customs regarding saying Yizkor during the first twelve months. If one does not
have a particular custom, then one should say Yizkor.
3. If a man removes his Tallis during the day, he only repeats the blessing when putting it back on if he
took his mind off the Tallis completely. [usually 2-3 hours]
4. It is permitted to smell spices on Yom Kippur. Many people do so in order to complete the saying of
100 blessings a day.
5. It is customary to stand during the entire Neilah service, as the Ark is open. However, one may sit if
they feel weak.
6. One should not socialize or be involved in idle chatter during the entire Yom Kippur.
Motzei Yom Kippur:
1. Under no circumstances may one make preparations to break the fast before 8:03 PM.
2. It is forbidden to eat or drink before making or hearing Havdalah. Havdalah is after 8:03 PM. The
exception is water which may be drunk before Havdalah, after praying Maariv or saying “Baruch
Hamavdil Bein Kodesh Lechol.”
3. One should say the Maariv prayer carefully after Yom Kippur is over.
4. The custom is to wish everyone a good year when leaving Shul.
5. It is praiseworthy to wash one’s entire hands three times after the fast since they were not washed
fully in the morning.
6. Women who do not pray Maariv must say “Baruch Hamavdil Bein Kodesh Lechol” before doing any
work.
7. This year, Havdalah has three parts:
• Blessing on wine
• Blessing on candle
• Havdalah Blessing
8. One should use the pre-existing flame that was burning throughout Yom Kippur as the Havdalah
candle. If one does not have one, he should try to obtain one from a neighbour. If this is not possible,
no blessing is made on the flame.
9. The custom is to say Kiddush Levanah either immediately after Maariv or after one has broken the
fast.
10. The custom is to start building one’s Succah or to at least do something related to its construction
after he has eaten.
11. It is a custom to arise earlier than usual on the day after Yom Kippur.
by Rabbi Rothman
Whereas Rosh HaShanah is both a joyous holiday where we publicly coronate the
All-mighty and also a day of judgement in that we receive our “annual review”, the messages are
somewhat conflicting. On the one hand, we are very happy, on the other perhaps somewhat
apprehensive.
This is shown in the different ways we greet and bless each other on Rosh HaShanah. On the
first night, before the actual moment of judgement, we wish each other that “you should be
blessed by being written immediately into the “Book of Life, Success & Health”. However, that
unique greeting is only said on this particular evening.
Following the first night of Rosh HaShanah our greeting changes, since it is after the original
judgement. From then on, throughout the holiday we wish each other a “Good Year” or a “Good
YomTov”. This is the appropriate greeting for a Yom Tov.
One point to remember, whatever the greeting it is clearly important to greet and to bless others
over the holiday. Keep in mind, whenever we look back at our first time in a new community or
synagogue, one of the things that always sticks in our mind is that people either greeted you or
ignored you. Believe it or not, it is one of the most significant signs of someone feeling welcome
in a new place!
May I take this opportunity to wish and bless you all that you and your family should be written
into the book of life, success and health for the coming year and that we all should be able to be
here to make the same blessing next year.
This is reprinted with permission from Rabbi Dovid Vinitsky's book, Darchei Shalom volume 5 and the learning is for a Refuah Sheleimah for Rochel Leah bas Elisheva,
In Parshas Netzavim, the Torah tells us about the commandment of repentance (Devorim 30:1-14). The Seforno learns several aspects of teshuvah (repentance) from these verses. Some of the ideas are “Does a sinner need help to repent?”, “How can a sinner realize that he committed a sin?” and “To what extent will a sinner’s repentance be accepted?”
The Seforno points out that the Torah tells us Teshuvah is not beyond a sinner’s understanding. He does not necessarily need the interpretations of a wise man-- who may be a distant place, to help him comprehend teshuvah. A sinner, also, does not require a prophet to explain the way of repentance.
Furthermore, the Seforno explains that a sinner has the innate ability to repent. He is able to *recognize (* See note further in the lesson) his own sins. A sinner is able to order to distinguish between the correct and improper way. Thereby, a sinner will consider and examine his thoughts and behavior. He is capable of reflecting on them in recognize his errors. Then, he will be able to repent.
The Seforno also explains that sinner’s repentance should be exclusively to fulfill the will of Hashem. This type of *teshuvah, Our Sages say, reaches Hashem’s Throne of Glory (Kisei Hakovod) (Seforno, Devorim 30:1-2, 11-14).
The Sefer Orchos Tzaddikim mentions additional concepts of repenting and Hashem’s willingness to help and accept a sinner’s repentance. He says, “Our Sages, of blessed memory, have said that repentance fails a sinner only because of his “*evil heart.” A sinner does not really want to repent. However, if the he truly wants to properly repent, Hashem will not close the gates of repentance. Rather, Hashem will open the gates to the sinner and show him the correct path of repentance.
Furthermore, the Orchos Tzaddikim tells us that Hashem has given mankind a great favor -- the *gift of teshuvah. After a person sins, Hashem should immediately punish him for his transgression. However, Hashem is kind. He usually grants a sinner time to repent. Hashem *accepts the repentance of accidental offenders, willful sinners and transgressors of numerous sins.
Continuing the Sefer Orchos Tzaddikim says that at times, *troubles-- punishments or rebuke come upon a sinner because of his transgressions. These hardships may cause one to be motivated and repent. Nevertheless, this type of teshuvah is still accepted. Certainly, a person’s teshuvah will be accepted if he returns because of fear and love of Hashem.
In addition, the Sefer Orchos Tzaddikim tells us how quickly repentance is received. He says just for the sinner’s *intention alone to properly repent, without actually starting, Hashem will immediately forgive and reward him. Thus, the moment a sinner resolves to properly repent, he is considered as being completely forgiven. [Of course, the sinner must continue with a full repentance.]
Furthermore, the Sefer Orchos Tzaddikim says, “Hashem will help those who seek to repent and do teshuvah. He will even assist them to reach a level of repentance not within man’s own power. Hashem will form within the returning sinner a *spirit of purity to help him attain all the aspects of repentance and a greater understanding of the qualities of His love (Sefer Orchos Tzaddikim: Shaar Hateshuvah).
From the Seforno and Sefer Orchos Tzaddikim, we learn very important information about repentance.
Gift of teshuvah, Hashem granted us; He wants us to repent.
Recognizing our sins by self-examining our thoughts and actions to see if they are proper is something all of us can do. Then, we should repent.
Evil heart is the only thing that prevents every sinner from repenting.
Accepting a sinner’s teshuvah, Hashem is always willing to do even if he has committed accidental, willful and numerous sins.
Troubles-- punishments or rebuke, may cause one to repent; nevertheless, Hashem will accept such repentance.
Intentions alone to properly repent, Hashem will immediately forgive and reward the sinner.
Spirit of purity and a greater understanding of Hashem’s love, He will form within the returning sinner. This will help him attain the various aspects of repentance even those not within his powers.
Teshuvah, it reaches Hashem’s Throne of Glory.
[Note: The bold letters in the above paragraph spell the words “Great is teshuvah.” This phrase will help us remember some of the ideas concerning teshuvah. The * (starred) bold letters and the * (starred) bold word teshuvah in the above paragraphs, when rearranged, also spell the words “Great is teshuvah.” They match the bold letters and will help us locate the information that explains each concept of teshuvah mentioned in the above paragraphs.]
We can apply the ideas expressed by the Seforno and Orchos Tzaddikim to our lives. Daily, we should examine our thoughts and actions. When realizing that something is not proper, we should immediately repent.
We should never excuse ourselves from repenting. We should not say, “Such a sin, Hashem won’t accept repentance,” “So many sins, Hashem will not accept the teshuvah,” or “Teshuvah, it takes too long to be forgiven.”
Rather, we should be motivated to repent by remembering the aspects of “Great is teshuvah.” Hashem gave us the ability to recognize our sin(s). He wants us to use this great gift of teshuvah—no matter what! With proper intentions, Hashem will immediately accept and help us complete our teshuvah. Indeed, we can reach the level of spiritual purity and a greater understanding of Hashem’s love.
There are additional methods that will make it easier for us to become aware of the many aspects of teshuvah. These methods can be found and learned in ethical seforim (books). Also, we may ask our Rabbis and teachers for advice.
Hashem wants every sinner to repent —
He will accept and help everyone who repents!
“Great is teshuvah!”
"Teshuva, Tefilla, and Tzedaka wipes out the bad decree!" Please donate to CITE and support the spread of Torah worldwide!! In this merit may everyone have a shana tova umituka, peace and tranquility!!!
Every Saturday night following Shabbat the first thing we should do is say the “Havdalah”
service. It is said with a candle, spices and a cup of wine.
A few things worth noting. Since it is forbidden to eat after nightfall on Saturday night until after
reciting Havdalah, one should recite Havdalah right away.
If one is in the midst of Sholosh Seudot (that is only if bread is included in the meal) one may
continue to eat after nightfall until the Birkat HaMazon. However, if one did not “wash” and eat chalah
for sholosh seudot, one must stop eating and drinking as of sunset.
All types of spices are acceptable for Havdalah, as long as they have a fragrant odor. It could be
a fruit, spices, cloves, an esrog or even a natural perfume. Any of those items may be used and
the identical blessing is said regardless.
It is preferred for a male to say Havdalah, however, if it is not possible, then a woman may do so.
In case of emergency or if forgotten, one may say Havdalah until mid-week (Wednesday).
After that the Mitzvah has been lost and Havdalah may not be said. That is only under
emergency and if one forgot, they must recite it as soon as they remember.
From the start of Havdalah until the conclusion, one should not speak. They should remain silent
until the one making Havdalah tastes the wine/grape juice.
If wine or grape juice are not available, one may use a different beverage for Havdalah.
However, it must be a “significant” beverage. That is, one a person might serve to an honourable
guest. Orange juice, coke, carbonated beverages and the like are all acceptable, but only if wine
or grape juice are not available.
The candle should be of multiple wicks, so as to constitute a torch rather than simply a flame. If
only single wicks are available, one should put two or more together for the blessing
By Rabbi A. Rothman
There are two customs when it comes to reciting Selichot.
According to Rabbi Yosef Karo, Jews begin reciting Selichot from the second day of Elul. Sephardic Jewry follows this custom. Rabbi Moshe Isserles, the "Rema," writes that the custom of the Ashkenazic Jews is to begin reciting them from the Sunday before Rosh HaShannah, on the condition that there remain at least four days of Selichot before Rosh Hashannah.
In any case, we begin reciting the Selichot on Sunday, or, more correctly, on Saturday night: If there remain more than four days between Saturday night and Rosh HaShannah - for example, where Rosh HaShannah falls on a Thursday or Sabbath - we begin reciting Selichot on the Saturday night closest to Rosh HaShannah; but, if there are fewer than four days separating Saturday night and Rosh HaShannah - for example, where Rosh HaShannah falls on a Monday or Tuesday - then we begin reciting Selichot on the preceding Saturday night.
The reason that we Ashkenazic Jews recite Selichot for at least four days before Rosh HaShannah is that there is a custom to observe ten days of fasting before Yom Kippur for the purpose of repentance. Since during the Ten Days of Repentance between Rosh HaShannah and Yom Kippur there are four days on which it is impossible to fast - i.e., the two days of Rosh HaShannah, one Sabbath, and Yom Kippur eve on which one is obliged to eat - four days are set aside before Rosh HaShannah for fasting.
This being the case, Selichot are recited on these days. Even though today most people do not actually fast on these ten days, it none the less remains customary to get up early for Selichot for at least ten days - i.e., the four days before Rosh HaShannah, and six days during the Ten Days of Repentance.
The best time for reciting Selichot is at "Ashmoret HaBoker" - i.e., the very end of the nighttime. At this time people are still asleep, and the world is peaceful and uncontaminated by evil thoughts and deeds. At this hour prayer issues from the depths of the heart, shatters all barriers, and is received in Heaven.
Most people, though, find it difficult to get up at such an early hour. Therefore, the accepted practice has become to rise for Selichot about an hour or a half-hour before morning prayers. Though it is no longer dark outside it is still permissible to recite Selichot. Hence, if a person feels that by rising early his work will suffer, it is preferable that he rise for Selichot a half-hour before the normal time.
I have had the honor of conversing with spouses, parents, friends, those still struggling with addictions and those successfully living a life of sobriety in my private practice and at JACS for many years. We have shared our stories of success and mistakes, becoming both students and teachers.
In groups I often refrain from giving direct advice or instructions unless I know the person well, as each circumstance requires detailed knowledge. The knowledge of some medical or psychological issue might make a difference between taking one direction or another. Still, there are some principles that are extremely useful to the co-dependent once a plan of action is in place.
The following is a compilation that I have put together based upon my conversations in JACS support groups, private sessions, reading and in formal study of those principles.
Blessings,
Written By David Kaufman
Director of Outreach and Education at JACS
Narrative and Solution Focused Therapist
Cert. Addiction and Addiction Studies
CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist) Candidate
We have discovered as parents, spouses and friends that the worst way to help the struggling addict is to:
1. Feel guilty and blame yourself as being the cause of their addiction and bad choices.
2. Feel guilty and accept blame when they blame you for their addiction and bad choices.
3. Believe love conquers all - they’ll change if you love them enough or they love you enough.
4. Attach your sense of self, success in life and daily mood to how “your addict” is acting that day.
5. Have yet another conversation or fight hoping you’ll be able to change them.
6. Obey their commands, tantrums and threats.
7. Live in fear of upsetting the addict because it will make them use.
8. Be held hostage to their tantrums, threats and fear of exposure.
9. Accept or excuse verbal and physical abuse (or threat thereof) upon yourself or those who are dependent upon you such as siblings, those being bullied, and the elderly.
10. Threaten to leave the addict – but don’t. Isolate and refuse social invitations out of fear or anxiety.
11. Pay their debts and sign for their loans (and co-sign their reasons for why they can’t get a job).
12. Worry about what others will say if they find out about your struggles, and remain isolated.
13. Allow yourself to be manipulated again and again…and again.
14. Hope against all logic and experience that this time they will be different and change.
15. Exaggerate small signs of change and health and treat them as if they have turned over a new leaf.
16. If they want something, indulge them, hoping you can buy their love and recovery.
17. Make sure they know you will always be there to get them out of trouble.
18. If they get in legal difficulties get them legal advice, a lawyer, set bail and so on.
19. If they lose, damage or destroy something from clothing to a car, repair or replace it for them.
20. If they get fired from a job help them find another or cover the loss of income until they do.
21. Give them an allowance or money because they need it for the bus, phone, entertainment and food.
22. Overlook, defend, or rescue them from the consequences of their negative behavior.
23. Accept their excuses and rescue them from their problems.
24. Blame others for their behavior by saying things such as, "My child would never do that!", "It can't be his/her fault; it must be the teacher's fault!", or "The other children made him do it."
25. Disregard your moral principles in defense of your addict.
26. Let your other relationships suffer terribly and even fall apart in an attempt to change the addict.
27. Allow the addict to successfully triangulate/create conflict between family, friends and therapist in order to avoid changing him or herself; e.g., “You understand my problems, but Mom is so tough…”
28. After you set firm boundaries and your addict tests them over and over again – eventually give in.
29. When the addict looks beaten by the consequences of the addiction, as if they might be ready to change, don’t ask for advice, but immediately rush to their rescue. Re-live numbers 1 through 30.
30. Get so involved in trying to fix the addict that you forget who you are.
31. Wait until you hit rock bottom and are forced to change.
32. Go to a support group and hear stories and advice from others who struggle like you do and realize you are not alone, but remain living in the same manner by complaining about the addict and repeat #1 through #30. Or educate and change your life by getting professional, educated guidance, attending support groups and individual therapy if needed because a desire without a plan is just a wish.
*Nature Connection (Toronto) (FREE)
Downsview Park - Discovery Centre
35 Carl Hall Road
Toronto, ON
A FREE nature program for families. Connect with your natural world and come out to Downsview Park! All ages are welcome. Downsview Park staff will take you on a free indoor/outdoor Park program based on nature-themed topics to get you exploring the natural world, starting with Downsview Park! Each two-hour program will explore a natural theme. Activities will be flexible to reflect the interest of participants. Nature Connection runs every 2nd and 4th Sunday.
http://downsviewpark.ca/content/downsview-nature-connection
*Rogers Cup Pizzaville Weekend (Toronto) (FREE)
9:30am-5:30pm
Aviva Centre
1 Shoreham Drive
Toronto, ON
Aviva Centre opens its doors August 8-9 for those who want to enjoy a weekend filled with free tennis and fun activities for the whole family. Pizzaville Free Community Weekend combines the competition between the world’s best players with a festive atmosphere that includes contests, games, music, plus the chance for fans to pick up a racquet and get on court themselves, giving families and friends the chance to spend quality time together.
http://rogerscup.com
*Sports Bike & Car Show (Waterloo)
12pm-6pm
Waterloo City Hall
100 regina Street
Waterloo, ON
Join us for the second annual Sports Bike & Car show. This family friendly event will welcome Sports cars and Bikes from across southern Ontario. From a family fun zone, stunt show, wheelie machine and much more there is something for the entire family. This year we will host a show and shine for both motorcycles and Sport cars. Enjoy great food and entertainment as you watch all the competitions taking place.
http://www.sportsbikecarshow.com
Continuing: Vaughan Jungle Gym, HorseCapades, Ontario Celebration Zone, Weekend Explorers at Queen's Park
by Rabbi A. Rothman
The period from Rosh Chodesh Elul until after Yom Kippur is a time of Divine favour
("eis ratzon"). Although, HaShem accepts the repentance ("teshuvah") of those who return to
Him wholeheartedly, throughout the entire year, these days (between the 1st of Elul and Yom
Kippur) have been set aside for repentance, and are most conducive to it.
These days are special at this time because on Rosh Chodesh Elul, Moses came down from
Mount Sinai to receive the second set of Ten Commandments ("Luchos Sh'niyim") and spent
forty days there, descending on the tenth of Tishrei, which represented the final atonement for
the sin of the Golden Calf.
From that time onward, these days were set aside as days of favour, and the tenth of Tishrei as
Yom Kippur.
It is customary in many places to fast on the day preceding Rosh Chodesh Elul and follow the
order of prayer of "Yom Kippur Koton" to prepare one's heart to repent.
If Rosh Chodesh Elul falls on Shabbos, the optional fast is held on the preceding Thursday.
The Rabbis noted the following verse for which Elul is an acronym: "Ani L'dodi V'dodi Li"
("I am for my Beloved and my Beloved is for me";
Reprinted from Westmount Shul, Rabbi Yossi Michalowicz
Dear Friends,
We are all aware of the nuclear deal with Iran that has been agreed upon by the world powers. I am sure, that, like myself, we are very concerned about the future of the State of Israel and the Jewish people, should this deal come to fruition. Indeed, we worry about the potentially hazardous situation of a short “breakout period” that Iran could achieve in going nuclear. It is no coincidence that this deal was pushed off and not agreed upon until, based on the Jewish calendar, we entered into the “Three Weeks” where our Mazel is not that good. This nuclear deal is just another sad event in our Jewish history that falls out during this inauspicious time of the year.
I am sure that our local Jewish organizations and institutions will be making plans on how to respond to this imminent threat, and I encourage all of you to be involved to whatever extent possible.
I spoke in Shul last Shabbos about this issue and I encouraged the congregation not to despair over the present situation. As much as we may feel that there is little we can do to significantly change the politic situation, we are not helpless, and there is much that we can do that can help.
As much as the world is struggling to contain the enemies of peace from achieving nuclear capabilities, the Jewish people are endowed with the most powerful force on the planet - Shabbos!
I explained in great detail the power of Shabbos. Shabbos brings renewed energy for the existence of the next six days of the week. Shabbos is the cornerstone of the covenant between Hashem and the Jewish people. Shabbos is the heart and soul of each and every Jew. Perhaps, because Shabbos comes every week and we enjoy the freedom to keep the Shabbos. we may take it for granted. We need to be reminded that when a Jew observes the Shabbos, one is declaring their belief in the power of the Creator and their trust that just as He took us out of the worst suffering imaginable in Egypt long ago, He is still very involved in every step of our personal and national future. As long as we observe the Shabbos to the best of our abilities, we will merit Divine intervention at the highest level.
The mystical sources explain that the most powerful Shabbosos of the entire year are during the Three Weeks and especially this coming Shabbos, which indeed falls on the ninth of Av (Tisha B’av). When we come to this difficult time in Jewish history and remember all the Jewish suffering that we have experienced during these times, AND STILL KEEP THE SHABBOS AND DECLARE OUR TRUST IN HASHEM, it brings great joy to Hashem and provides us with great Divine protection. By choosing to observe the Shabbos we invigorate our connection to Hashem, which can only bring good things.
Incidentally, the Jewish people also have an unquestionable “break out” period that can overcome any adversary. The Talmud tells us that if all the Jewish people would observe two Shabbasos according to Halacha, we would be immediately redeemed. It is in our power to have a “two week break out period” well before our enemies can break out their weapons of mass destruction. We have nothing to fear - it is all in our control.
I encourage all of us to upgrade the quality of this coming Shabbos. Please try to do something more than usual so that you can strengthen that connection even more. You may consider any of the following:
1. Invite not yet Shabbos observant Jews for a Shabbos meal to show them the be beauty of Shabbos.
2. Sing more Zemiros and say more words of Torah at the Shabbos table.
3. Sleep a little less and study a little more.
4. Come to ALL Shabbos services on time.
5. Bring in the Shabbos early by lighting candles earlier than usual or by attending an earlier Kabolas Shabbos service. Use this extra time to think about your relationship with the Almighty.
6. Prepare yourself emotionally for the upcoming Tisha B’av that begins right after Shabbos.
7. Come back to Shul in the afternoon to absorb the holiest part of the Shabbos as it merges into Tisha B’av.
Over this coming Shabbos, my talks will focus on preparing us for this Tisha B’av weekend and to encourage us to be proud of our personal and national mission. I hope to share with you the tools necessary not just to “get through and survive ” Tisha B’av - but to look forward to this most amazing encounter with Hashem on this most historic day of Jewish history. This will be most powerfully expressed at my 9 PM talk on Saturday night as we experience the bridge between the “Atomically charged Shabbos” and our deepest encounter with Hashem on our day of national mourning,
remembrance, and, yes, continuity and pride for the Jewish people.
Every year, we strive to provide the most qualitative Tisha B’av experience - especially during the Kinos service. Regrettably, as I am still recovering and regaining my strength, I will not be able to both fast and teach for three hours straight. Therefore, we are bringing in the very noted and sought after speaker Rabbi YY Rubinstein to lead the Kinos service. We will also be showing a very inspiring Holocaust documentary by Rabbi Berel Wein. Please check the attached full Shabbos and Tisha B’av schedules .
Please take advantage of this most special weekend where you can experience a very powerful “1-2 spiritual punch” from Rabbi Rubinstein and me. May this be the very last Tisha B’av we commemorate in Golus!
With Torah blessings,
Rabbi Yossi Michalowicz
Frum Support Group for Women
Is (or might) someone you love struggling with an addiction?
You’ve spent tireless years raising your children, endless diaper changes, wiping noses, helping them with homework, soothing their physical and emotional hurts, laughing with and loving them. Then - something went wrong. Something you thought only happened to other people’s families. Alcohol, drugs, and other self-destructive behaviors entered your child’s life, changing everything.
You sadly wondered, “What happened to my sweet innocent child?”, “What did I do wrong?” and “What can I do to fix them?” You feel confused, betrayed, guilty, angry and ashamed. The other children or relationships are beginning to suffer. Sometimes you falsely believe that once one crisis has passed the problem will go away, but it doesn’t. Denial, not asking for educated advice and guidance from experienced professionals, fear and shame are common obstacles to healthy change.
We can help. At JACS we have extensive experience and success in helping parents and family members dealing with addiction issues.
Educate and empower yourselves so you can make a healthy difference in your and your family’s life. Call us we’ll walk through the process with you.
There is currently a support group running Monday evenings at 8 p.m. in the Bathurst / Wilson area. To attend you must agree to anonymity rules and group guidelines. Please call David Kaufman at JACS (647-238-3480) for more information. All contact with JACS is confidential.
Interview with Yehudah Nosenchuk of Chuckie’s Kosher Adventure Tours:
Yehudah and Minnie Nosenchuk run organized camping trips to nature destinations throughout the country.
How did you get started?
My wife has been camping with her family ever since she was a child. When we met, she spoke a lot about her travel experiences. The closest thing to camping that I had ever experienced was summer camp in the Mountains of Pennsylvania and that was not something I was interested in as an adult. We were only married a short while when we joined her family on a camping trip to Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks. One week was all it took to get me hooked. By now, we have covered a good majority of the National Parks across the US and Canada.
Which is your favorite National Park?
Each National Park is so unique. Acadia NP, Maine has magnificent coasts, Redwood NP has majestic trees, Yellowstone has unparalleled natural wonders including geysers and other geothermal features and I have favorite parts in each park. However, the most awe-inspiring beauty I have ever seen is the Grand Canyon; it is just breathtaking! My two favorite hikes are Skyview in Cape Breton NP, Nova Scotia and Lymph, Bear and Dream Lakes in Rocky Mountain NP, Colorado.
Why camping?
Camping is one of the best ways to immerse yourself and experience the nature up close. Gazing at a sky full of stars, relaxing at a campfire after an exhilarating day, and awaking to the sound of wind rustling through the trees and birds chirping. While camping, many of the distractions that accompany our daily lives are absent. Limited electricity, internet and phone service and other distractions will allow you to spend uninterrupted quality time with your group.
Why did you start Chuckie’s Kosher Adventures?
Aside from being popular vacation destinations, these outstanding natural wonders foster an appreciation of Hashem’s creation is very uplifting. Traveling to these destinations as a frum jew, however, can be challenging. Remote locations with no availability of kosher food and minyanim prevent many observant jews from being able to enjoy them. People are constantly telling us, “We’d love to go to these places but what about a minyan? Food? How do you get all the gear there?” Our service helps to alleviate all of these concerns and make camping and visiting national parks easy and accessible to the frum camper.
There are lots of travel services out there, what make yours different?
Our model is very unique. We allow you to have privacy as a family or group while still enjoying the convenience of being a part of a group. Each family or group stays on their own campsite with their own picnic table and fire pit. Your hosts (us) stay on a large host site where minyanim- take place and the meals are cooked. You are free to take your meals to your private campsite to enjoy. You can also make your own private campfire. The hardest part about camping is schlepping the gear and cooking in the outdoors. We take care of that for you. You will arrive to a campsite that is set up with all the gear you will need and there’s no need for you to worry about the meals – we’ve got them covered. We attract all different types of groups: families with young children, retired couples, men whose wives are not adventurous as there are and women whose husbands are not adventurous.
What is your busiest season?
The summer is the most popular time to travel, but we run trips throughout the year. In the winter, we choose destinations that are in warmer climates and have some cabin-based trips with heating. For example, we have a cabin trip scheduled to Grand Canyon/Sedona over Thanksgiving weekend. The trip will include a Shabbos. We will be staying in beautiful cabins right outside of Sedona. This will be a good opportunity for people who love nature, but are not ready to rough it out in a tent.
One last question, is there something you wish everyone knew?
Yes, I wish everyone had the opportunity to take advantage of the amazing wonder, beauty and the wholesome experience that one has when visiting nature.
By Rabbi Avram Rothman
There is a concept that one should pray from the same spot in Shul on every occasion that they are able to. This is a concept known as “Makon Kavua” or “established place”. It is learned from our forefather Abraham who, the Torah shows, prayed from the same spot repeatedly. In our attempt to make our prayers are meaningful and effective as possible, we do the same thing today. However, and it is a BIG however, that does not mean that I should be asking people to move from my seat if I happen to come late and someone is sitting there.
Why not? Well, first, the Halacha explicitly states that about 6 feet all around “your seat” is still considered to be “your seat”. So, for the most part, you can sit near your seat and still fulfill this halacha. Secondly, there is no easier way to send people away from a Shul or upset them then to tell a new person or a visitor, “please move that is my seat”. It may be your seat, but the ramifications of taking the seat from someone are much greater than sitting in the exact seat as usual.
On that basis, the Halacha dictates that one should try to sit in the same seat as always.
However, if you come late or some other issue raises the probability that someone may take your seat, the Halacha then dictates that it is better to sit near your seat (it wouldn’t hurt to greet and smile towards them) than to ask someone to move.
Remember, outreach or not, the best way to welcome someone to Shul is “to welcome them” and the best way to chase them away is to “ask them to move”.
Can we imagine Abraham having asked a stranger to move if he was sitting in his special place?
Let’s be the welcoming and friendly Shul we want to be and keep Halacha correctly at the same time.
Important Numbers
