The Eliyahu Rabba (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 170) makes the following important points about eating:
a. A person’s personal meal can be turned into a Seudas Mitzvah simply by consciously eating to keep his body strong for Avodas Hashem--not overeating or eating the wrong foods. [Incredibly, your meal then becomes the equivalent of a Chasuna meal or the meal at a Siyum....]
b. If a person overeats, even if it is at a Shabbos meal, he violates three negative prohibitions(!).
c. A form of "Teshuva Meulah" (elevated Teshuva) is when a delectable food or drink is before someone--and it is something that one very much desires--and one refrains from partaking of it, "and this is a Teshuva one can do at any time and is desired by Hashem."
d. When one eats, whether it is a little or full meal, he should eat b’simcha, with joy.
e. It is Derech Eretz not to eat or drink standing, not to wipe the plate clean, not to lick your fingers, and not to eat and abruptly rise.
Hakhel Note: These are methods which relate to the meal itself. We add that one can elevate Bentching itself, in simple and straightforward ways, as well:
a. Rather than acting as a child, and figuring out ways to avoid bentching (a drop less than two slices, and the like), one should view the act of Birchas HaMazon as a privilege and opportunity--the ability to recite four brachos simply because you have eaten a staple such as bread! We can even suggest that Pas Shacharis is so important because it starts off your physical day with a good meal--and a good bentching!
b. Last week, we brought the teaching of the Sefer HaChinuch that one who is careful to bentch with concentration is assured Parnassah in a respectable way all his life. There are great tools to help one bentch with Kavannah. Gadi Pollack’s "Birchas HaMazon" (Feldheim) is beautifully illustrated with pictures, with English translation closely placed next to every phrase, and is an incredible method for increasing your appreciation of Birchas HaMazon. Because it is so colorful, one may mistakenly--very mistakenly--believe that this Bentcher is for children. If it is, it is for the child in each and every one of us. Similarly, perhaps for the more advanced, Rabbi Meir Birnbaum’s Kuntrus Birchas HaMazon provides a phrase-by-phrase translation of Bentching, with commentary and footnotes. The more time and effort one puts into something, the more he can appreciate it. In just a few extra minutes, one can elevate a Mitzvah from the Torah to an infinite degree. Most certainly, you will never be ashamed, or sorry, for it!
c. May we especially suggest that when bentching, one should himself think about the meaning of what he is saying. For instance, when reciting the words "Yisborach Shimcha B’fi Kol Chai--that Hashem’s name should be blessed by all of the living"--what is one referring to--all human beings? All animals and other creatures, as per Perek Shira?.... As we have noted in a previous Bulletin, the Yesod V’Shoresh HoAvoda in his Tzavooh (will) to his children, writes that he would daven before bentching that no one would knock on his door and disturb him or his Kavannah…and with good reason.
Let us take the time out to eat--and to bentch--in a manner which befits the Tzelem Elokim that we each represent--and that we each are!
"Yehudah ben Tema said: The respectful people go to Gan Eden. May it be Your will, HaShem, our G-d and the G-d of our Forefathers, that the Holy Temple be rebuilt quickly in our days, and grant us our share in Your Torah."
A person who is respectful will be kind and considerate of others, as well as devote himself to fulfill the Mitzvoth. Accordingly, he will receive his just reward - eternal delight in Gan Eden.
The last phrase of the passage is a prayer: May it be Your will, HaShem, our G-d and the G-d of our Forefathers, that the Holy Temple be rebuilt quickly in our days, and grant us our share in Your Torah. What is the relationship of this prayer to the first statement regarding the lot the respectful who go to Gan Eden?
The Talmud (Yevamos 79a) states: "The people of Israel are characterized by three virtues: They are compassionate, respectful, and perform acts of loving-kindness." The trait of respectfulness evokes a person who has a sense of awe of HaShem. Consequently, his goodness will inspire him to fulfill the Torah.
This teaching sheds light on the significance of the prayer and its relationship to the lesson. Specifically, the intention of the prayer is: Just as You have graciously blessed us with the attribute of respectfulness, so too, bless us with the quick rebuilding of the Holy Temple and our share in Torah.
HaShem bestows upon Israel the precious virtue of respectfulness. Therefore, it is fitting for us to stand in the Holy Presence of HaShem which is manifest in the Temple. May our study of Mussar purify our characters so that we all merit seeing the immediate rebuilding of the Temple! (Based on the commentary of the Rambam to Pirkei Avos)
TODAY: Connect to your inherent attribute of respect and treat other people respectfully.
Lesson 1 Many people find it very annoying when they notice that someone is continuously motivated by the need for approval from others and respond with nasty comments and insults. This can be very painful since the trait of seeking approval makes this person more vulnerable than others to disapproval.
Lesson 2 A person who seeks approval is really looking for meaning and purpose and is often based on one’s need for affection and closeness with others. IN a world where people would be kind and understanding to each individual, the need for approval would be decreased.
(Lessons taken from The Power of Words by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin)
Release me from this net which they have set for me, for You are my strength. I entrust my spirit into Your hand, You have freed me, HaShem - Almighty and Faithful G-d. I will greatly rejoice in Your kindness, for you have seen my distress, You know the trouble of my soul.
When King David’s enemies surrounded him, they were certain that he would not escape their grasp. Despite the bleak situation, King David responded with a declaration of unwavering faith in HaShem, "Release me from this net which they have set for me, for You are my strength."
What’s more, King David, when captured by his adversaries boldly declared, "You have freed me." Since he placed his soul in the exclusive trust of HaShem, he was certain that HaShem, the Faithful, would rescue him! Even more, He was confident that HaShem, the Almighty, has the capability and power to deliver him.
In addition, King David said, "I will greatly rejoice in Your kindness." That is, "After You save me from them in Your kindness, I will rejoice in Your kindness. And I will thank You for seeing my affliction - You turned to me to deliver me from mortal danger; You knew my soul was troubled - and in Your kindness You saved me."
Amazingly, when King David’s life was at risk not only did he pray to HaShem and maintain steadfast faith that would HaShem deliver him - even more, he sang a victory song to HaShem! Anticipating his release his miraculous release, his heart filled with joyous thanks to HaShem for His care, kindness, and rescue.
May we hold our faith in HaShem, under all circumstances and trials. Undoubtedly, He will rescue us and we will sing to Him a joyous and triumphant song, "I will greatly rejoice in Your kindness, for you have seen my distress." [Based on the commentary of the Radak to Tehillim]
TODAY: Entrust your soul to HaShem’s care and know that He will surely rescue you.
HaRav Matisyahu Solomon, Shlita, recently provided the following insight on how we should react to the current world situation:
"We don’t know what is going on in the world."
However, we can take some instruction from the Tefillos of Rosh Hashana. Rosh Hashana, although it is the Yom HaDin in which everyone’s thoughts, words and actions are carefully scrutinized by the Heavenly Court, does not contain very many tefillos which instill great fear in a person. The longest and most serious discussion of judgment in the Rosh Hashana Tefillos is contained in the Zichronos, where the Anshei Knesses HaGedola teach us how Hashem remembers the actions of every individual and every country, and describes how Hashem metes out judgment to the countries--who for war, who for peace, etc.
Even these Pesukim of Zichronos , however, amazingly conclude with the words "Ashrei Ish Shelo Yishkacheka...--praiseworthy is the person who does not forget You and who takes strength in You, for those who seek You will not stumble, and those who believe in You will not be disgraced...."
What Chizuk! What consolation! What hope!! Hashem does not want us to remain scared, panic, depressed or give up. Yei’ush--despair--has no place even in a time of the most serious judgment! Rather, the Tefilla here teaches us that we must take strength in Hashem--we must remember Hashem by constantly mentioning His Name, thinking of His constant Chasodim to us, and that "Ayn Od Milvado--there is no source of anything but Him"--and all that is happening is to remind us to turn to Him.
In fact, the Alter of Kelm teaches us that people make a big mistake in their perception of what cowards and heroes really are. In reality, heroes on the battlefield have as much fear as the cowards, except that their fear motivates and energizes them--it propels them forward, while the coward’s fear makes them run in the opposite direction, towards defeat. Any immediate uncertainty or fear which may be generated within us should lead us to come close to Hashem, and not to be despondent, anxious or afraid.
In these turbulent times, in everything that we do, we must bring Hashem into the picture, into the equation, into the forefront. If one studies the Parsha of Eliezer and Rivka, one will find that Hashem is constantly mentioned by Eliezer throughout the event. Eliezer was, as a result, successful--to the extent that even Lavan himself exclaimed "MaiHashem Yutza HaDovor--This is Hashem’s doing!". This is the extent to which Hashem should accompany our thoughts, our words and our actions--even those really distant from the feeling of Hashhgacha Pratis should be brought closer to it as a result of our behavior!
In this zechus, we will--middah k’neged middah--see the day in which the world and all of its inhabitants will be filled with the Knowledge of Hashem as the water fills the sea--speedily and in our days! AMEN!
Lesson 1 Discussing an employees weak nature can be considered lashon hora as it can cause the person to lose their job, resulting in financial and/or emotional harm. (** if a worker needs to be discussed for constructive purposes, all the rules apply. These will be discussed)
Lesson 2 Shmirat Halashon does not just refer to words we speak, but rather applies to communication as a whole. With this understanding, negative facial expressions (i.e. smirking, turning up ones nose, winking) can be considered lashon hora.
(Lashon Hora - reporting something negative about someone else that is TRUE)
Lessons taken from Purity of Speech by C.T. Friedman
The Talmud (Brachos 58a) relates an incident in which Rabbi Sheshes, who was blind, went out to see the royal procession. Yet, what purpose is there in a blind man going to behold the king?
Rabbi Sheshes knew there is a parallel between the Heavenly kingdom of HaShem, and the earthly kingdom of man. Therefore, he was able to determine the moment the king passed based on a verse that revealed that HaShem is found "in the quiet." Accordingly, after a few battalions of royal soldiers passed by, there was a gap of silence. When everything grew still, Rabbi Sheshes correctly determined that the king was passing.
The verse that teaches this secret was a prophecy of Elijah (1Kings 19:11, "A great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before HaShem, but HaShem was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake; but HaShem was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire; but HaShem was not in the fire; and after the fire a gentle, quiet voice." Elijah heard HaShem speak in the "gentle, quiet voice."
HaShem is omnipotent, the source of all power, and the supreme force. Therefore, Elijah INCORRECTLY assumed the attribute of power and fear when he admonished the People of Israel.
However, HaShem revealed to Elijah that his harsh method was incorrect and counterproductive. Rather, the proper attribute for education is gentleness and compassion. Therefore, HaShem was not in the wind, nor the earthquake, rather He was in "THE GENTLE, QUIET VOICE."
May we be inspired by HaShem’s revelation to Elijah of the importance of teaching others with pleasantness and gentleness. If we conduct ourselves with compassion and love, we will be successful in our endeavors to influence and educate our fellows. Following the path gentleness, we will be pleasing to man and G-d.
TODAY: Teach others with pleasantness, kindness and a gentle voice.
Lesson 1 Fear is a very painful emotion. It is important for us to remember not to needlessly say things to arouse fear in others. We sometimes do this when we hear a problem, exaggerate it, and share it hysterically with others. E.g. if there are financial problems in a country, we will tell people the country is falling apart. Lesson 2 We need to be careful to not needlessly spread predictions of doom (particularly if you are a person who has a big influence on a lot of people). Differentiate between informing people so they can make constructive plans vs causing unnecessary anxiety.
(Lessons taken from The Power of Words by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin)
We continue with our Erev Shabbos Halachos of Shabbos series. Specifically, we present below rulings of HaRav Kanievsky, Shlita, relating to Hilchos Shabbos, as presented in the Sefer Shailas Rav. We once again remind our readers that although the Sefer expressly states that one is not to Paskin Halacha L’Maaseh from the Sefer, the answers (and the questions!) certainly provide a valuable basis for one to ask his own Shaila. Rav Kanievsky’s Teshuvos are as follows:
Q: Can one use a frozen Challah for Lechem Mishna?
A: If it will be fit for consumption that day, it is possible.
Q: Can one walk in the street on Shabbos with his shoelace untied (assuming it is otherwise safe), or, because it is untied, is it considered a masoi--not part of your clothing--and prohibited, i.e., must you stop in the street to tie an untied shoelace right away?
A: It is permitted to walk with an untied shoelace.
Q: Is it permissible to touch an article of clothing when you believe that it will create static electricity?
A: Yes.
Q: If one’s Shalosh Seudos continues past Shekia into the evening, and one wanted to eat something which requires a Brocha Rishona in the course of a meal (such as a fruit or wine), would it be permissible to eat that item, as one will be making a new brocha on food after Shekia?
A: Yes, it is permissible in the course of a meal.
Q: When does one look at his nails at Havdallah--before the brocha of Borei Meorai Hoaish, or after (See Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 298:3)?
A: There are different opinions, and those who are careful look at their nails both before and after the brocha.
Q: At Melave Malka there is a Tefillah entitled "Ribon HaOlamim." Should women also recite this tefillah?
A: Yes.
Q: On Motze’ei Shabbos at Melave Malka, does one say Shir HaMaalos or Al Naharos Bavel? Likewise, does one recite Migdol or Magdil at Melave Malka?
Lesson 1 Everyone needs to be valued and it is a tremendous kindness to express appreciation to others. Hard work becomes much easier when you are appreciated for your efforts. A person who uses their power of speech to enhance the lives of others will not use this power for destructive purposes. Lesson 2 If you have pained others with words in the past (by speaking about or to them negatively), try to make up for it by taking upon yourself to do many verbal acts of kindness.
(Lessons taken from The Power of Words by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin)
In this week’s Parsha (Bereishis, 18:19), Hashem states regarding Avraham Avinu, "For I have loved him, because he commands his children and his household after him that they keep the way of Hashem that they do Charity and Justice...." As this week’s Parsha contains so many aspects of Chesed, and describes Avraham as instructing his children to follow in his ways in this regard, we provide below several important teachings relating to Tzedaka, found in the Sefer Derech Emunah by HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, Shlita (in the Section entitled Hilchos Matnos Aniyim, Chapters 7 and 10):
a. When giving Tzedaka, as with any other Mitzvah, one should do it "B’Lev Shalem U’Vtuv Levav--with a complete and happy heart."
b. The Mekubalim write that one should give Tzedaka every day, and the Arizal adds that one should give Tzedaka standing and with his right hand (even if he is a lefty!)
c. If a person gives Tzedaka to someone before being asked, he merits Hashem taking care of his needs before being asked.
d. One should give Tzedaka before going on his way, as the Pasuk states "Tzedek Lefanav Yehalech, VaYosem LeDerech Pa’amav--Righteousness will walk before him, and set his footsteps on the way." (Tehillim 85:14)
e. From the money that one gives to Tzedaka, a garment is fashioned for him in Olam Haba which protects him from danger and takes him out of Gehennom.
f. The fourth level of Gehennom is called "Tit HaYavan", and there all those who treated poor people harshly are judged.
g. Tzedaka pushes aside "Gezeiros Kashos--difficult decrees," and turns the Midas HaDin--the measure of strict Divine Justice--into Divine Mercy.
h. The minhag to give Tzedaka for the deceased is an ancient minhag, and helps the neshamos attain atonement, for the Heavenly Court rules that if he were still alive he would have given this Tzedaka, as well....
i. One should take to heart that just as one asks from Hashem that He should provide Parnassa to him, and asks of Hashem that He listen to his cries, so, too, should the person listen to the cries of the poor.
j. If one collects Tzedaka for others he saves his future generations from becoming poor (the middah k’neged middah is apparent).
Hakhel Note: Chazal (Gittin 7A) teach "If one sees that his Parnassa is tight (mezonosav metzumzamim), he should give Tzedaka.... One who gives Tzedaka can be compared to the situation of two ewes attempting to pass over the river--the one that is shorn passes through, and the one that is not shorn does not. In the same vein, one who shears off from his money and gives Tzedaka with it, will be successful!
May we follow in the footsteps of Avraham Avinu, bringing blessing on the world--and on ourselves!!
At the time of Sara’s demise the Torah states (Bereishis 23:1): "And these are the years of the life of Sara." Our sages derive the following maxim from this verse: "The righteous give life to their days, whereas the days give life to the wicked."
The righteous realize the day is like a blank canvas; it is our choice - and opportunity - to fill it with beautiful colors and forms. They breathe life into the day by filling it with good deeds, Torah study, and bringing joy to others.
In this light, we can imagine Sara at nighttime planning her day. She would reflect on: How can I come closer to HaShem, and be more pleasing to Him. How can I put more love and quality into the act of kindness that I perform. How can I be more helpful and pleasant to my husband.
When the morning arrived, she would arise with inspiration and happiness to fill every part of her day with goodness. Accordingly, "she gave life to her day," meaning she utilized her time to achieve her spiritual goals. The positive deeds that she performed were the very soul of her day.
Conversely, the wicked take the day as it comes. They do not improve themselves nor do they add any good to it. Rather, "the days give life to the wicked," meaning, their days are venues for them to follow human nature and all of its entrapments.
A righteous person values every minute of the day. Even more, he realizes that every second is an opportunity to illuminate the world, rectify himself, and bestow goodness to others. May we utilize each moment of our lives so that we truly give "life to our days." (Based on the Ohr HaChaim HaKodesh)
Today’s Implement: Reflect on one way that you can improve the quality of your life.
In last week’s Parsha, we find that Lot accomplished something that even Avraham Avinu could not accomplish. Although Avraham davened for each one of the five cities to be saved, Hashem advised him that there was an insufficient number of Tzadikim in any city for the city to be saved. However, we find that Lot requested that he be saved in the city of Tzoar--and he was, together with the entire city! How was Lot, the recalcitrant nephew, was able to save a city that his incomparable Rebbe could not?
HaRav Yecheskel Levenstein, Z’tl, derives two essential lessons from this. First, we see how much more effective it is for the affected person to daven for himself than for a third party (no matter how great) to daven for him. Here, Lot was asking for his own life. No matter how genuine and sincere the entireties of Avraham Avinu were, nothing can match the depths of someone pleading for his own life. As we indicated from the Derech Hashem yesterday, no one can act on your behalf more than you and you alone. Of course, one should always ask a Talmid Chacham to daven for him, but this cannot replace or substitute for one davening for himself.
The second great lesson teaches us the extent of HaKoras HaTov that one must demonstrate if someone has even attempted to do good towards them. Lot showed hospitality to the Malochim (who really didn’t need it), and their expression of HaKoras HaTov went to the degree of saving an entire city in order to save Lot. Similarly, HaRav Daniel of Kelm, Z’tl, HY’D, the last Rosh Yeshiva of Kelm, explained that Elisha HaNavi, in last week’s Haftora, was actually bound by his Hakoras HaTov to the Isha HaShunamis, to go to the extent of bringing her son back to the living--the greatest of miracles possible.
Thus, within one event, we learn vital lessons both on a Bein Odom L’Makom, and a Bein Odom L’Chaveiro, level. In Bein Odom L’Makom--establish your own personal relationship with Hashem in Tefillah because no one can daven better for yourself than you. Work on it, because no one can as you can. On a Bein Odom L’Chaveiro level, make sure that you constantly and consistently demonstrate your HaKoras HaTov for the many kindnesses you receive from those around you.
Special Note: The Rambam teaches in the last Chapter of Hilchos Teshuva that Avraham Avinu intensely felt Hashem’s presence wherever he was and wherever he traveled. We suggest that it is certainly within our ability to "touch" our Forefather in this respect daily.
At least several times a day, one should go out of his way to express his sense of the "Hand of G-d" in what has just occurred, what he has just heard, or the amazing interplay or turn of events he has experienced. This expression may take the form of a "Baruch Hashem!", "Thank You, Hashem!", "I love You, Hashem!", or "What Hashgacha Pratis!" or the like.
Another suggestion would be to bring Hashem into whatever you are doing at that moment--even into the simple and mundane. For instance, while sitting at your desk or table (whether or not you are actually slouching), from time to time throughout the day you should make the effort to sit up straight based upon the recognition that you are in Hashem’s presence. In a similar vein, it is recorded that when HaRav Moshe Feinstein, Z’tl, davened the Shemone Esrei every day he did not "shuckle" or sway. He explained that once, while being questioned by the communists, he was forced to stand at attention for hours. He understood that this was truly a life-long lesson and that he should also "stand at attention" while speaking to Hashem.
The Netziv explains that the amount of Hashgacha Pratis that one receives is actually commensurate with one’s feeling of Hashgacha Pratis in his life. Our relationship to Avraham Avinu should go beyond our mentioning his name several times a day. We should feel that we are not only "Hebrews" by name, but also by purpose!
Additional Note: We understand that a Yeshiva in Yerushalayim instructed its students to make a list of items to be thankful for in Modim. In addition, every day, they were to add something new to the list and have specific Kavannah to thank Hashem for it in Modim. This seems like something that each and every one of us should do.
Lesson 1 It is very easy to learn the laws of shmirat halashon and just think about how other people insult and cause pain with their words. It is easy to remember times when we have been insulted. This however, won’t help improve our level. It is important that we apply what we learn to ourselves. Think about "when have i ever done this?". This will help us improve and grow. Lesson 2 It can be considered lashon hora to talk negatively about a food product that was produced by a Jew. Ex: "The challas from the bakery are horrible", "the Kugel was raw". This might seem a big extreme. We are talking about food, not people.... Think though, how would you feel, overhearing someone comment about you "he really doesn’t know how to cook".
(Lashon Hora = reporting something negative about someone else that is TRUE) (Lessons taken from The Power of Words by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin and Purity of Speech by C.T. Friedman)
Yehudah ben Tema said: Be bold as a leopard; light as an eagle; swift as a deer; and strong as a lion to carry out the will of your Father in Heaven.
This passage reveals the secret of empowerment and vitality. Usually, when a person expends his energy, he must rest in order to regain his strength. While this is generally true of worldly endeavors, however spiritual matters follow a different dynamic. HaShem grants an extra measure of power and protection to people who are dedicated to spirituality.
The Prophet Isaiah said, "Those who trust in HaShem will experience a renewal of strength." That is, when those who devote themselves to HaShem tire, they turn to HaShem for help. HaShem increases and replenishes their strength so that they can perform more good deeds.
Accordingly, the text says: Be bold as a leopard - inspire yourself as well as others to study Torah and perform good deeds. Now that we are enlightened with the knowledge that HaShem will grant us a surplus of strength, we should not desist from Mitzvoth due to lack of stimulation. Rather, we should feel confident that we can perform Mitzvoth with the "boldness of a leopard."
Likewise, a period of running begets exhaustion. However, a person whose is engaged in a good deed or Mitzvah will not tire, rather he will "swift as a deer." In addition, his determination to complete Mitzvoth will be as mighty like the "strength of a lion."
Not only does faith helps us to succeed in our affairs, even more, it awakens fresh supplies of energy so that can perform beyond our natural limits. Therefore, when we are fatigued we should pray for new reserves of strength and HaShem will renew our strength.
May we be blessed with love to do good both for Heaven and well as our fellow man. When we are aroused to fulfill HaShem’s will, He will provide us with endless supplies of energy, vigor, and strength. [Based on the commentary of Rabenu Yonah to Pirkei Avos]
TODAY’S IMPLEMENT: When you are tired repeat aloud the verse: "Those who trust in HaShem will experience a renewal of strength."
When we bless Hashem, we are acknowledging His gifts to us across all time."Blessed be Hashem, the G-D of Israel, from all the past to all the future, and let all the people say Amen.Hallelujah (Psalm 106:48)."However difficult our current circumstances or our past situations, and despite how foreboding the future may seem, we have a task to perform.That job is to bless G-D throughout, to serve Him Who is, was and shall be forever the G-D of Israel.We bless Hashem by doing His will and serving His ends.We affirm our loyalty and commitment to His will by the saying of the "Amen".With that "amen", we vow to serve Him faithfully through all times and circumstances.And it is because of that affirmation that we can sincerely say- Hallelujah- may the name of G-D forever be praised.
Psalm 97 begins with a promise: "Once the Lord reigns, the earth will rejoice, and the multitudes of islands will be glad (Psalm 97:1)."With the advent of Hashem’s kingdom and the world’s recognition of Hashem will come a period of rejoicing.The psalmist teaches us that acceptance of Hashem’s dominion will usher in a period of serenity and bliss.Even the far away islands, whose acceptance of G-D has been slow in coming, will find gladness in their belief.Embedded in this statement is the awareness that accepting Hashem as King brings joy, peace, happiness and serenity.We, who currently recognize and accept Hashem’s reign, participate even now in that joy and serenity, for we trust that He acts only in our own best interests.
Lesson 1 We learned that talking negatively about food produced by a Jew can be considered lashon hora. People don’t realize that by degrading the food, they can cause the caterer, cook, or bakery to lose prospective customers. They can also be causing others to feel repulsion towards the food. As I am sure you realize, this is not constructive.
Lesson 2 If you have tasted bad food, and want to provide constructive critique by helping the cook improve their skills, voice your complaints to the cook directly (in a pleasant manner of course). How does discussing this with others help change the situation?
Shabbat 24 Heshvan
Lesson 1 There is a very common mistake of which people are not aware: it can be considered lashon hora to talk negatively about a Jewish doctor in casual conversation. Ex: "My Doctor is really uncaring, she never returns phone calls".
Lesson 2 If someone asks you specific information about a doctor because they are seriously considering using them, you are allowed to say something. Say the least amount of negativity that will get them to switch dr’s. ex: "I don’t think this Dr is for you. I would suggest this other one instead, my friend was really happy with her care". All the rules of speaking for a constructive purpose apply (These will be explained later).
Lashon Hora = Reporting something negative about someone else that is TRUE)
(Lessons taken from Purity of Speech by C.T. Friedman)
We continue with our Erev Shabbos--Halachos of Shabbos Series:
1. How can one benefit his Parnassah even on Shabbos? The Mishne Berura (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 185: Seif Katan 1) brings from the Sefer HaChinuch (Mitzvah 430) that one who is always careful to bentch with concentration is assured of his parnassah in a respectable way all of his life. One can--and should bentch with concentration on Shabbos as well!
2. Is one permitted to place a new shoelace in his shoe on Shabbos, or to reinsert his old shoelace? One may reinsert his old shoelace, provided that it is not difficult to slip through the holes (i.e., the plastics at the end of the shoelace are still on, the holes are large enough, etc.). If one’s shoelace broke and he would like to insert a new shoelace (or a shoelace from another shoe), he may only do so if the new shoelace is inserted in a manner which indicates that it is temporary--such as putting it only through the top loops, or putting in a different color shoelace--and even then only if it is easy to insert (plastics at end of the shoelace are still on, etc.). One may likewise insert a belt through belt loops on Shabbos, provided that he is not inserting a belt for the first time, intending to leave it there on a permanent basis. Thus, a matching belt for a dress which is intended to remain in the dress once inserted should not be inserted for the first time on Shabbos. (Shmiras Shabbos KeHilchasa 15:60, 62).
3. Other examples of activities which are prohibited because of Makeh BePatish, according to The 39 Melochos by Rabbi Dovid Ribiat, Shlita, (Feldheim) include: Straightening a bent clasp of a necklace or bracelet so that it will open or close; straightening the bent handle on a spoon back into shape; rubbing off chalk marks left by a tailor; making paper airplanes; fashioning paper napkins into flowers, hats and the like; and inserting a new pendant into a necklace where it is meant to remain there permanently.
When Eliezer, Abraham’s servant, arrived at Haran to select a fitting wife for Yitzchak, he found Rivka at the well. Eliezer asked her for a little water to drink and she "quickly lowered her jug and gave him to drink. When she finished giving him to drink, she said, ’I will also draw water for your camels until they have finished drinking.’"
On the merit of this kindness, Eliezer chose Rivka to be Yitzchak’s wife. Yet, Eliezer traveled with an entourage of capable attendants. It was their duty to tend to the camels - and they were willing and ready to do so. Therefore, the kindness that Rivka performed was qualitatively small. She did not provide them with goods or services that they themselves were unable to easily attain and achieve.
If so, why was the ’insignificant’ kindness of Rivka the benchmark that made her fitting to be Yitzchak’s wife?
Eliezer was searching for a woman whose kindness was the very essence of her life. Rivka bestowed kindness upon Eliezer, even though it was unnecessary, because she delighted in kindness! The quality of delighting in kindness and the joy of benefiting and serving others is the true measure of righteousness.
If Rivka had not found within herself the goodness to perform this kindness for Eliezer, she would not have merited becoming the wife of Yitzchak, the spiritual and physical heir of Abraham. Not only did her kindness grant her the highest merit in this world, even more, she is one of the Matriarchs of Israel in the eternal World to Come. Moreover, the entire world, which HaShem created for Israel; the holy Temple; and World to Come all emerged on the merit of Rivka’s words ’I will also draw water for your camels.’
May we fill our hearts with the joy of performing kindness. In turn, we will delight in performing acts of kindness which will flow forth from us like a mighty river. Consequently, HaShem will bless us with countless merits in this world, and eternally in the World to Come. (Based on Ohr RaShaz of the Saba M’Kelm)
TODAY’S IMPLEMENT: Perform an act of kindness, no matter how small, and know that HaShem will bless you with countless and abundant merit.
Important Numbers
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