In this week’s Parsha, we find that Yaakov Avinu fought with the Malach of
Eisav, who was also the personification of the Yetzer Hara. When Yaakov was
victorious, he asked this Malach for his name, but was asked: "Why do you ask
me my name?"
This answer by the Malach may be misconstrued as simply
answering a question with a question--or perhaps as a refusal to give a
truthful answer. However, Rabbi Zelig Pliskin (Growth Through Torah, p.
97) brings a remarkable insight from HaRav Yehudah Leib Chasman,
Z’tl. HaRav Chasman explains that this was actually the name of the
evil inclination, "Don’t ask!"
Rabbi Pliskin elucidates: "The
desires of this world draw a person like a magnet. The best way to overcome
one’s negative impulses is to be aware of how illusory these pleasures
actually are. As soon as you take a close look with your intellect at
worldly desires you will see how empty and meaningless they are. The Yetzer
Hara cautions you: ’Don’t ask!’ As soon as you start asking questions to
clarify the reality of the evil inclination, you will find that there is
nothing there. This is analogous to seeing a shadow and thinking that
something is actually in front of you. As soon as you light a candle, you
realize that what you saw was only an illusion. Use your intellect to see
the emptiness of negative desires and you will be free from their pull (Ohr
Yohail, Volume 2, p. 35)."
Rabbi Pliskin, who has written 22 important
books, B’EH, will be speaking at Hakhel’s Yarchei Kallah this Thursday
morning.
This is an important lesson for each and every one of us.
Whenever we are faced with a situation in which we say to ourselves "Better
not to think about this too much" or "Let me go with my impulse" or
"Ignorance is bliss" or "Just this one time"...remember that the Malach, the
Yetzer Hora "Don’t Ask" may be making these suggestions to you. Why not
void that temporal temptation, the pleasure-filled bag of
illusion--by lighting your own candle inside--the candle of truth?
Rav Matisyahu Salomon, Shlita, recently related that, after hearing so many
different kinds of stories in his capacity as a Mashgiach, he thought he
was shock-proof no matter how any new story went. However, he recently
received a call for help with the following story--and was shocked.
A
man in his late 40s called about problems he had been having with his
13 year old son. The boy had developed a paranoia, constantly crying,
feeling that he was being persecuted, and that the whole world was out to get
him. The boys life was extremely unhappy and unsettled and nothing seemed
to help. He was a bundle of paranoia. The boys father was beside himself,
and did his own Cheshbon HaNefesh--why was this happening to him, his son
and his family?
Suddenly, the father remembered something from his
youth--30 years earlier. He was an 11 year old child in an out-of-town day
school. He, together with a couple of other boys in the class, decided to
pick on one of the nebby girls in the class, and they were able to convince
the whole class of students to at a certain point during English class, turn
around and stare at the nebby girl. The time came, they all turned around
and stared, burst out laughing, and the girl broke down in
tears.
Having recalled this incident, the father decided that perhaps,
although it was 30 years later, he should apologize to the girl for what he
had done so many years ago. He tried locating her, but could not find her.
He did locate a relative of hers, who explained why she could not be found.
In fact, she had committed suicide 20 years before, because for many years
she was paranoid that people were constantly looking at her, and could bear
it no longer.
The father of the boy called HaRav Salomon to find out
what he could do--what Teshuva he could do, as he was guilt-ridden, and,
moreover, he felt his son was suffering as a result.
HaRav Matisyahu
points out that there are very many lessons to be learned from this
heartbreaking story, and advises us to think about these lessons on our own.
He pointed out a few in passing, such as:
-One should think back over his
actions of even many years ago, even while he was a minor, and do Teshuva for
them
-The Torah prohibition against hurting another
person--Lo Sonu--applies even to children
-What we do not only affects
our generation, but affects other generations, as well.
However, the
main lesson, HaRav Salomon believes, is that we do not realize how
far-reaching are the consequences of inappropriate behavior Bein
Odom LChaveiro--between man and his fellow man. Somehow, we associate
the Churban Bais HaMikdash, and the failure of the Mashiach to come, with
our inadequacies in our direct relationship with Hashem. However, at the end
of the day, HaRav Salomon points out, it was Sinas
Chinam--needless ill-will--that caused and continues to maintain, our current
state of galus and churban-exile and destruction.
This teaching, the
Mashgiach demonstrates, is made in this weeks Parsha, when Leah calls her
first-born son Reuven. Rashi there explains that Leah, by this name, meant
to indicate how one Jew is supposed to act to his brother. See, Leah said,
the difference between Eisav who wanted to kill his brother even though Esav
had actually sold him the birthright, and my firstborn son Reuven, who
actually saved Yosef from the deadly pit, even though Yosef would take away
his primogenitor (through the tribes of Ephraim and Menasha) in his
place.
What must distinguish each and every one of us is an ability to
excel in care and concern for others--even in the face of hurt and harm that
those very people may have caused you. To forgive, forgo and forget is,
in actuality, HaRav Salomon teaches, the essence of being a Jew.
One
final note: We suggest that if the effect of a downgrading remark or act can
be as devastating as described in this true story, imagine what the effect of
a compliment or uplifting remark or act could be! You may not only be
changing the persons day--or even the persons life. Indeed, that simple
one-time kindness to another could very well touch the next generation(s) 20
and 30 years later and beyond.
The choice is ours--do we turn around and
stare--or turn around and smile? Let us do our utmost not to follow the path
of Eisav. Instead, let us follow the path of Reuven--of whom Leah was so
proud!
-------------------------- Hakhel
MIS --------------------------
As we take leave of Parshas Toldos, we provide the splendidly meaningful
words of Rabbi Zelig Pliskin, Shlita, as he comments on the final Pesukim of
the Parsha in his classic sefer Love Your Neighbor:
VaYikrah Yitzchak El
Yaakov VaYivarech Oso, VaYitzavehu VaYomer Lo, Lo Tikach Isha MBinos Canaan
(Bereishis 28:1)--And Yitzchak called to Yaakov and blessed him, and [then]
commanded him saying, You shall not take a wife from the daughters of
Canaan.
The Chofetz Chaim used to say that we can
learn from Yitzchak the most effective way of admonishing others. Before
Yitzchak warned his son Yaakov what not to do, he blessed him. Often, you
will not be able to correct someone by shouting at him. (Even if you are
successful, you will have hurt the other persons feelings, and will have
caused ill will.) But if you show a person first that you truly cared about
his welfare, he will much more readily listen to your advice or admonition
(HaChofetz Chaim, Volume 3, p. 1114).
Oh, what a great lesson this is
if we can apply it to the way we speak to our immediate family members,
friends, and colleagues at work.
In this weeks Parsha, we come upon the Tefillah of Yaakov
Avinu as he reaches HaMakom--the place of the Bais HaMikdash. Chazal teach
that this Tefillah was actually Maariv, the evening prayer. With this
Tefillah of Yaakov Avinu, we conclude the daily Tefillos that our Avos
instituted--since, as we have seen in Parshas Vayera, Avraham
Avinu established the morning Tefillah, and Yitzchak Avinu the afternoon
Tefillah. Because Tefillah was such an integral part of the Avos lives, we,
as their direct descendants and/or students must make it an integral,
essential part of our lives, as well. We provide below several important
points relating to the quality of our daily prayers which are culled directly
from the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (Chapter 12):
a. Giving Tzedakah before
Tefillah is desirable, as the Pasuk states Ani BTzedek Echezeh...--I will
see your face with righteousness (Tehillim 17:15).
b. Before each
Tefillah one should resolve to fulfill the mitzvah of VAhavta LReyacha
Komocha--Loving your neighbor as yourself (VaYikrah 19:18). As we all know,
this was the custom of the AriZal. The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch adds a
beautiful and penetrating explanatory note:
If heaven forbid, there is a
division of hearts among Jews on the physical plane, then there is also no
unity in the spiritual realms. In contrast, unity on the physical level
causes a oneness in the clinging of the souls in the spiritual realm. As a
result, their prayers are also unified, and the communal quality of these
prayers makes them more beloved to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
c. It is a
mitzvah to run to Shul, to the House of Study to learn, or to fulfill other
Mitzvos, as the Pesukim state, Let us run to know Hashem (Hoshea 6:3) and
I will run on the path of Your Mitzvos (Tehillim 119:32). Accordingly, even
on Shabbos, it is permitted to run for the sake of a Mitzvah. However,
within a Shul or House of Study, it is forbidden to run.
d. When one
approaches the entrance to the Sanctuary **he should hesitate momentarily so
he does not enter suddenly**he should then recite the Pasuk: VAni Berov
Chasdecha Avo Vaysecho--and I, through Your great kindness, enter Your
house... Afterwards, one should enter [as if having just received
permission] and proceed with awe and fear, as if he is walking in the
presence of a King.
Hakhel Note: Whether or not one actually goes to Shul
to daven, he should reflect upon these same words VAni Berov Chasdicha,
i.e., the kindness of Hashem in allowing us to stand before Him in prayer,
and the resulting great opportunity of prayer itself!
e. One should
take great care to hear Kaddish and reply to it with proper
concentration...whenever someone answers Amen, Yihei Shemai Rabba with all
of his strength and concentration, 70 years worth of severe Heavenly decrees
are nullified. It should be recited in a loud voice, for this voice will be
Shover Kol HaMikatrigim UMivatel Kol Gezairos Kashos--break down all
accusing forces and negate all harsh decrees. Nevertheless, it should not be
recited in a very loud voice, causing people to laugh and thus causing them
to sin.
Hakhel Note: The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch is an extremely concise
Halacha Sefer covering all four areas of Shulchan Aruch in one volume. When
it cites the Chazal of Yehei Shemai Rabba nullifying 70 years worth of
severe Heavenly decrees and breaking down all accusing forces and negating
all harsh decrees it is providing us with an absolute Halachic conclusion.
One should contemplate the incredible power of these words.
One
further Hakhel Note: HaRav Dessler, Ztl, (Michtav MEliyahu 4:271) teaches
that through our Tefillos we can actually raise the spiritual level of
others. As an example, he points to Rebbe Meir who prayed that his neighbors
who were biryonim (ruffians) be granted the Heavenly help to do Teshuva,
for this is how far the power of prayer can reach. There is even a special
Tefillah quoted in the Sefer Tehillah LDovid which one can insert at the end
of Hashiveynu Avinu LSorosecha at the end of every Shemone Esrei for those
who you would like to see do Teshuva.
May our Tefillos in these turbulent
times touch the Tefillos of our Avos referred to over the last several weeks,
and may we too, very soon, pray in that very place that Yaakov Avinu
did--some 3500 years ago!
-------------------------- Hakhel
MIS --------------------------
One
of the Mitzvos of the Torah is "shleiluach
hakein," in which we are instructed to send away a mother bird before
taking her hatchling from the nest. The purpose of the Mitzvah is to show
compassion to the mother bird, i.e., we send her away to spare her from the
sight of someone taking her fledgling.
In
reference to this, the Talmud (Brachos
33b) teaches that it is incorrect for a person to pray, "Just as You,
HaShem, have mercy on the mother bird, so too, show mercy to the people of
Israel. The sages explain: "If we
make this prayer we will stir up jealousy in the work of creation."
HaShem
created the entire world with the attribute of mercy. Accordingly, His
compassion is spread over all of His creations. If someone prays Just as You have mercy on the bother bird..,
his words infer that HaShem shows special mercy to birds. These words
would then evoke jealousy in the other species who would take the prayer to mean
that HaShem’s mercy does not extend to them.
The
jealousy that this prayer awakens amongst the other animals is very subtle and
hidden. After all, how much awareness of the prayers of man do animals have? How
much jealously could they have for such an esoteric event? Nevertheless, the
Torah cautions us to refrain from this prayer - even though the negative effects
of the prayer seem so slight and mystical.
If
we have to exercise such caution concerning the animal world, how much more care
and sensitivity is needed in the delicate dimension of our interpersonal
relationships. HaShem created human beings with a deeply feeling heart and a
knowing soul. A thoughtless word or rude action can cause untold distress.
Conversely,
if we show extra care and sensitivity to our fellowman, then we will strengthen
love and peace amongst mankind. May we fill our hearts with compassion so that
we bring unity and harmony to the work of creation. (Based on the commentary
of the M’harsha)
Review
your words before you speak so that you do not cause hurtfull feelings through
your conversation.
When
we daven, we have the opportunity to reach great spiritual heights. The
Anshei Knesses HaGedolah, which included the final Neviim
(prophets), arranged the Shacharis Tefillah to allow us to reach a heightened
level of kedushah and an awareness of Hashem step by step; similar to the
four levels of increased kedushah found in the Bais HaMikdash--beginning with
the lowest level of Kedushah (the Har HaBayis--the Temple Mount ) and
culminating in the highest level of kedushah (the Kodesh HaKodoshim--the Holy
of Holies), as follows:
Shacharis begins with the Birchas
HaShachar--corresponding to the Har HaBayis; followed by Pesukei
DZimrah--corresponding to the Azarah ( the Temple Courtyard); then Krias
Shema (and its brachos)--corresponding to the Heichal (the Holy), and
culminating with Shemone Esrei--corresponding to the Kodesh HaKodashim (the
Holy of Holies). For further detail , see Nefesh Shimshon, Siddur HaTefillah
by HaRav Shimshon Pincus, Ztl, pages 36-42.
As you daven before Hashem,
visualize yourself progressing through the different sections of the Bais
HaMikdash, elevating yourself with increasing levels of
Kedushah.
Special Note Four: The following rulings of HaRav Yisroel
Belsky, Shlita, were published in Halachically Speaking (Volume 2, Issue
33).
It frequently occurs in public places that there is one person in a room who is cold in the winter and wants to close the window, or is hot in the summer and wants the window to be open. All others in the room disagree. In the winter, the Halacha is that the window must be closed in deference to the chilled individual, and in the summer the Halacha is that the window must be open, once again, in deference to the hot individual. Use of an air conditioner has a different permutation. One who is afraid that he will become sick from the cold blowing air has the right to turn off the air conditioner,
notwithstanding the protest of others.
Having stated these Halachos, we
bring a fascinating point made in the Sefer Shaarei Orah (Vol 1, p. 20) based
upon the teachings of HaRav Avigdor Miller, Ztl. HaRav Miller notes that
there are days during the year which are extremely cold and other days which
are very hot. No matter how much one complains, he is unable to change these
weather conditions with mere words. Instead, he must tolerate and accept the
situation--he must work with the circumstances that surround him. It would
be silly to walk out without a coat or shoes in below-freezing weather just
to make the point that you would rather be in warmer environs. In fact, you
are not, and you must appropriately approach the current state of
affairs.
This is not only true about the weather. The great middah of
Savlanus, or patience, must be applied again and again in situations that
face us throughout the day. Whether it is someone spilling a little coffee
on you, or another cutting you off with his car and making you miss the
traffic light, or whether it is a customer or client testing you to the
limit, or a family member (even one younger than you) insulting or deriding
you, you must cope and overcome your initial instincts and reactions. In
fact, in many of lifes instances, Hashem makes the circumstances themselves
assist you to help better your character. You know, for instance, that you
want to keep your job so you control yourself and do not shout back at the
boss. You want to make the sale, so you grin and bear the incessant
complaining. You want to live in peace with your neighbor, so you let him
walk over your grass all the time. You dont want to get a ticket, so you
sit waiting at a red light with no one else anywhere to be found at 2 AM.
These situations are all G-d-given opportunities to improve your patience.
It is up to you to use these Heaven-granted situations to build up your
Savlanus in other circumstances in which you may not feel so intimidated--or
sense the need to hold back. These more advanced character-building
situations frequently appear in the home with close relatives (without
getting too descriptive), and with close friends.
Today, test your
patience in **all** situations, not only the easy situations, the G-d-given
muscle-building circumstances in which you know that you must control
yourself, but also in those more delicate situations at home where you are
either the Boss--or in which know that you are otherwise definitely right.
Additionally, consider those situations in which you are alone in the car or
in your office and have a real opportunity to vent your frustrations--with no
one but Hashem listening--and demonstrate that you are not only in control of
the car or the computer, but more importantlyof
yourself!
We live in the darkness of the exile where Hashem’s presence is hidden. In
darkness, vision is compromised and perception limited. To see in the dark, the
eye must adapt, undergoing changes in the rods and cones. The eye takes
approximately thirty minutes to fully adapt from bright sunlight to complete
darkness. As a people, we have moved from the bright light of Hashem’s manifest
presence in the Temple periods to the darkness of our current exile. Our
ability to see Hashem in this darkness requires both patience and a visual
adjustment. "A Song of Ascents. Behold, bless Hashem all you servants of
Hashem who stand in the House of Hashem in the nights (Psalm 134:1)." We are
the servants of G-D standing in His House in the night of our exile. David
exhorts us to remain Hashem’s servants, doing His work wherever and whenever we
can. He enjoins us to remain standing in Hashem’s House, in our temples and
our synagogues, patiently waiting for the darkness to lift and the redemption to
follow.
Later in life, Eisev married Machalas,
the daughter of Yishmael. The name Machalas means "forgiveness." Our Sages
derive a wondrous teaching from this verse. Specifically, on the day of
marriage, HaShem forgives, i.e., Machalas, a person for all of their sins.
Similarly, when a person "ascends to greatness, all of his sins are
forgiven."
Classically, the Torah prescribes the process of
repentance in order to rectify our past misdeeds. Therefore, the question
arises: Why does marriage automatically render
forgiveness?
When a person marries, he crosses the threshold to
new opportunities and options. The awareness of these possibilities inspires him
with the desire to improve and uplift himself. However, as much as he wants to
change, the weight of his "past baggage" is difficult for him to
unload.
Therefore, HaShem shows him compassion and forgives all
of his past misdeeds. This wonderful kindness of HaShem allows the person to
unload the burden of his past mistakes; giving him the freedom to actualize his
feelings and transform himself into a new person.
The same
phenomenon occurs when a person ascends to greatness. Since he has access to new
opportunities, HaShem forgives his sins in order to give him the confidence
needed to forge a new path.
Perhaps we can apply the same
principle to Shabbos. That is, Shabbos is a "marriage between HaShem and the
People of Israel," as we sing: "Come my beloved and meet your bride; Let us
welcome the Shabbos Presence." Therefore, the new opportunities of holiness,
light, and joy that come with Shabbos inspire us to elevate ourselves.
Accordingly, the blessings of the Shabbos day bring us forgiveness, kindness,
and mercy of HaShem.
In this week’s Parsha, the unique events that surround the brocha Yitzchak Avinu
is to give to his son culminate with that great moment of Yaakov Avinu receiving
this most sought-after brocha--which in actuality is only two Pesukim (Bereishis
27: 28-29) in length! Moreover, the entire brocha can be divided into two basic
components:
1. A brocha for gashmius, as the Pasuk states: “V’Yiten
L’Cha...”--and may Hashem give you of the Dew of the Heavens and of the Fatness
of the Earth...; and a second concept
2. “Cursed be those who curse You
and Blessed be those who Bless you,” which appears more to be addressed to how
other people react to us, rather than a direct blessing to us.
In fact,
the brocha that we would have expected Yitzchak to give Yaakov is found at the
end of the Parsha, and is given to Yaakov only as Yitzchak sends him away to
Chutz L’Aretz:
“And may Kel Shakai bless you…may He grant you the
blessing of Avraham to you and your offspring...that you may possess the
land...” (Bereishis 28:3-4).
This later brocha appears to be much more in
line with the brocha Yaakov would have wanted in the first place--Avraham,
offspring, Eretz Yisroel...more of a “Jewish” kind of brocha. Yet, it comes
second.
This same order of the blessing for the physical preceding the
blessing for the spiritual is mirrored in the Birchas Kohanim (Bamidbar 5:25-27)
in which, as Rashi there explains, the first brocha refers to a blessing of
wealth, which is followed only afterwards by the brocha of Hashem looking upon
us favorably and granting us peace.
Why is it then that gashmiyus precede
ruchniyus, that the physical takes precedence here? After all, do we not recite
Birchos HaTorah in the morning before we recite Birchas HaMazon? Don’t we have
our priorities straight?
The answer may lie in the fact that Hashem has
structured our world and our existence in a way that Olam HaZeh precedes Olam
Haba. The purpose of Olam HaZeh is for us to instill in it the reality within
our lives that the most physical and material parts of it, that even the
smorgasbords, delicacies, Treos and Blackberries, software developments and
next-generation automobiles, and even “escape vacations”, are all under the
watchful eye of, and, moreover, can only come about with the direct blessing of,
Hashem!
Yaakov Avinu risked his life to infuse himself with this
awareness, and the Kohanim--by blessing us in this order--remind of this as
well.
With this thought in mind, we can understand why we make the brocha
of Shehecheyanu at any time during the year that we purchase a new and valuable
article of clothing or object, or when a fruit come into season, and yet only
make a Shehecheyanu over a mitzvah if it occurs periodically, or when performed
only for the first time. [The next periodic mitzvah, for example, will, B’ezras
Hashem, be lighting the Menorah on Chanukah--still a month away.]
The
lesson to be learned here is not an easy one to fulfill.
It is a
challenge for us to make 100 Brachos a day with a Kavannah it truly
deserves.
It is a challenge for us not to say “But **I** did it all on my
own,” or “**I** figured it out all by myself” or “**I** made this money by...”
and to remember not to overindulge or get too involved with luxuries or
unnecessary extras or the things that you know Hashem would not be proud
of.
However, as Rebbe Yisroel Salanter is reputed to have said, the first
mitzvah in the Torah is: “Al Tehi Sachal--don’t be foolish!” It would be truly
a shame if we went through this world with many accomplishments and many
possessions, but failed to learn the lesson that Olam HaZeh precedes Olam Haba
for a reason--the lesson that Yitzchak Avinu taught Yaakov Avinu in this week’s
Parsha. There are two practical ways in which one may reinforce our awareness
of Hashem’s presence and of His instilling and inculcating this world with all
of the Brachos that it has, that we have, and that we enjoy and benefit
from.
One practical way is to try to catch the times we say the word “I”,
and try to make sure we are using that word correctly. As you say the word
sense the presence of the Omnigiver even giving you the ability to say
“I”!
Another way is to utilize the second part of the Brocha that
Yitzchak gave to Yaakov--those who…bless you, will be blessed.” If we
constantly live with a sense of blessing, of brocha, that nothing is due to us,
that nothing is here for no reason, and that nothing stagnates--and so we recite
blessings to Hashem and give blessings to others in a way that it constitutes an
important part of our lives, we will believing in Olam Hazeh as we truly
should--as a way that leads to the next step--Olam Haba!
Additional
Special Note: Question for the Way Home: Why do you think that the method of
telling time has advanced from a sundial, to a town clock, to a pocket watch, to
a Rolex, to an atomic clock?
Today is thirty days from Yom Kippur and forty days from Rosh Hashanah, so we should attempt in some way to rejuvenate (re-Jew-venate) ourselves. May we suggest that from time-to-time throughout the day you recall the spirit that you had on RH and YK and try to inculcate it into your activity at that time?
As this week’s Parsha teaches of the primary importance of Bikur Cholim, as Hakadosh Baruch Hu visited Avraham Avinu after his bris, we provide the following notes on Bikur Cholim:
1. According to the Chochmas Odom (151:3) the ikar (main point) of
Bikur Cholim is davening for the sick person while visiting him. In fact,
the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (193:3) poskens that one has not fulfilled the
mitzvah of Bikur Cholim if he visits, but does not daven to Hashem while
there. This is because the Shechina is present above the head of the sick
person, and your tefillos are, k’viyachol, in front of the Shechina itself
(Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 335, Shach seif katan 3). In your tefillah, you
should ask for Hashem’s mercy for that particular "choleh b’soch cholei
Yisroel" (amongst the other sick of Israel), because, in the merit of the
many, your tefillos will be better received (ibid., Shach seif katan
4).
2. Bikur Cholim should not be performed when it is convenient for
the visitor, but when it is best for the choleh. As the halacha states,
one should not visit in the first three hours of the day, the last three
hours of the day, etc. (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 335:4).
3. In
addition to tefillah, there is a mitzvah to give the choleh "nachas ruach"
(Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:3). This does not mean that one should speak on
and on, or even with witticisms. Statements like "You’ll now have to
take that medicine for the rest of your life", or "Next time, you’ll be more
careful", or even "How will this affect your life going forward?" may be
equated with smacking a poor person across the face and knocking out a few
teeth as you hand him a hundred dollars with a smile.
4. The
Chazon Ish (Collected Letters, Volume I:138) writes that everyone has the
mitzvah to perform "Bikur Cholilm" upon himself, as well. This means that he
must take care of his body and use the most effective means possible for his
personal health.
5. One should try to tidy up and make the atmosphere
more cheery for the choleh, if possible. The Gemara (Nedarim 40A) relates
that Rabbi Akiva himself swept and cleaned the floor for his sick student.
As a result, the student told him, "You have caused me to live." Rabbi Akiva
then taught, "He who does not perform the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim, it is as
if he spilled blood." The reverse is also, of course, true. In fact, the
Gemara clearly teaches that one who acts wisely with the ill will himself be
saved from "a bad day" by Hashem (see Tehillim 41 and Gemara, Nedarim
40A).
6. Finally, one should consider a choleh’s status after he leaves
the hospital, and even after he returns to shul or to work. The fact that
he has somewhat healed does not necessarily mean that he is not suffering
pain or is otherwise in distress. One should continue to daven for, and
inquire as to, a person’s welfare, until he is confident that the choleh
has received his refuah shlaimah.
-------------------------- Reprinted with permission from Hakhel
MIS
Today, the Seventeenth day of Kislev, is the Yahrtzeit of one of the
Mussar Giants, (the Alter of Navardok). Set forth below is a sampling
of the words and deeds of this great Torah Personage (excerpted from
Sparks of Mussar by Rabbi Chaim Zaitchik).
1.
R Yosef Yozel entered into a discussion about Torah and Mussar with a
maskil in an inn. In the midst of the discussion, the maskil ordered
his servant to harness the horses and make ready for the journey. R
Yosef Yozel immediately stopped the conversation. Why? wondered the
maskil. I do not discuss things for the sake of discussion, replied R
Yosef Yozel, but for the sake of discovering the truth and acting upon
it. Now how can you order your servant to prepare for the trip you have
planned in advance? After all, it is possible that as a result of our
discussion you will have to embark on a new course! But from the order
to your servant, it is obvious that your mind is set, and our
discussion is just idle talk to pass the time. That is not my way of
doing things. And with that R Yosef Yozel got up and left.
2. To
a nonreligious person who came to ask him something, R Yosef Yozel
said, According to your words, you are a heretic, and I am forbidden to
speak to you. But I will prove to you that you have left the path of
Torah not because of intellectual conviction, but because of
materialistic desires.
3. I have always tried to rule out falseness from all my ways,
said R Yosef Yozel. And I pray to G-d to reveal the unbiased truth to
me.
4. Blessed is the man who relies on Hashem. The blessing is that not only does
he receive his material needs, but he also binds himself to Hashem through his
Bitachon--his faith.
5. If you see that someone came to the station after
the train he wanted already left, do not say that the man was late and missed
his train, but that he came early for the next train. For everything is in the
hands of Heaven.
6. Some people, said R Yosef Yozel, allow their minds to be a free hotel
open to all. Anyone who wishes can dump his trashy thoughts there. R Yosef
Yozel himself meticulously guarded the purity of his mind and soul.
7. A good Jew is not a taker, but a giver. The giver gets much more than the
receiver, for the receiver gets only something of limited monetary value,
whereas the giver acquires for himself a good and pure heart.
8. A person who has not worked to correct his midos is like a blind man who has
never seen light.
9. The inspiration that comes while learning Mussar is
like a flash of lightning at night. Although it lasts but a second, at least the
traveler will now be able to find his way.
10. A person who hesitates to climb spiritually because he is bound by habit is
like a peasant who is afraid to travel first class because he is used to
expectorating (colloquially known as spitting) freely.
11. A person who uses his mental ability solely for worldly pursuits instead of
for understanding the true Heavenly light is like a villager who finds a
magnificent sculpture and uses it as his scarecrow.
12. A person should
give up his whole future for today, so that he will not waste all his todays for
one tomorrow.
The Alters words were meant not only for himself and his
close students, but for each one of us, as well. There is much to learn from
each one of the above adages. Something to think about over Shabbos...
The Sefer Ta'amei HaMinhagim (page 251) writes that the new month of Iyar is tried and tested as a time for refuah, healing, from the ailments and pains that may affect a person. Why is this so? He brings the B’nai Yisaschar, who teaches that most weakness and illness come from foods which do not comport with the person's nature or composition. The Rambam (Hilchos De'os 4:15) writes likewise. See also Kitzur Shulchan Aruch Chapter 32.
Since the Mon began to fall in Iyar (on the 16th day of Iyar 2448)--and it was a perfect food from which resulted no sickness, pain or even waste matter (as Dovid HaMelech refers to it in Sefer Tehillim--"lechem abirim") and even cured those who were ill--Hashem left the curative nature of the month in effect even through today. Accordingly, Iyar is a time of "segulah l'refuah".
In fact, the Ta'amei HaMinhagim notes, the name "Iyar" is an acronym for Ani Hashem Rofecha - I am Hashem, Your Healer.
What can we do to help promote the curative effects of this special time as initiated by the heavenly Mon? We can turn to the laining of this past Shabbos in which the Torah teaches that the Metzora who was afflicted with terrible Tzoraas walks about declaring "I am Tameh, I am Tameh." Chazal (Shabbos 66A) explain that he declares this **so that others will ask for mercy for him**. The Baalei Mussar note that the Metzora does not ask others directly to pray for him--rather, he only declares that he is "Tameh", and those who hear him are expected to pray sincerely for him even without his direct request--and notwithstanding that he has sinned to such a great extent that Hashem has actually made him a Metzora.
What a great lesson we can learn at this time of year--which is so special for healing, and, moreover, the Omer period, in which our "Bein Odom L'Chavero" is to be seriously improved upon. We should not wait to be asked, or merely be responsive to the request of others, when we hear that someone is not well. Instead, we should "hear the cry" and go out of our way during this auspicious time to daven for those we may not even know, but whom we have heard are in need of a Refuah. An ounce of Tefillah may mean a kilogram of cure.
PRACTICAL SUGGESTION: During the remaining weeks of Sefirah, recite a daily special, sincere Kepitel (chapter) of Tehillim for your list of cholim--recognizing that this is a special time for the potency--and importance - of your heartfelt Tefillah!
For those of you who may not have made the Birchas Ha-Ilan, the blessing on first seeing blossoming trees, it is best to recite this Brocha in the month of Nissan, which will be ending Wednesday evening--tomorrow(!)--at sunset.
You can find the bracha in almost any siddur.
The shabbos after Pesach is known as the "Shlissel Challah"
segula (omen). This erev shabbos many people have a minhag to
bake a challah with a key in it -- with the key wrapped in foil,
or shape the challah as a key etc. This is a segula for a good
parnassa.
It is a reminder that the key to our sustenance, our parnassa, is in
Hashems hands. Here is a link to an article on shlissel challah
written by Rabbi Yehuda Prero: www.torah.org/learning/yomtov/pesach/5761/vol7no04.html
Below, is information from the web pertaining to the shlissel challah.
For those who are fortunate enough to be around for this special
segula, please remember to add names of any cholim (sick) and/ or those
who would like to get married, have babies, etc.
Shlissel Challah (Shliss=key)
The minhag of women (or men) baking the house key into the challah on
the Shabbat following Pesach (also known as a shliss [=key] challah) is
explained with the following reasons:
1. Based on "e-chudo shel machat...," ("Open up, my darling..."--
Shir HaShirim 5:2), on which the Medrash states "Pitchu li petach
ke-chudo shel machat...," (cf. Shi HaShirim Rabbah 5, s.v. "Kol Dodi
Dofek") = something like "Open your hearts (in teshuvah) like the eye
of the needle, and I (God) will open the rest like [a very large
opening].
2. According to Kabbalah on Pesach the gates to heaven were open, and
following Pesach the lower gates are shut, and its up to us to open
them again, therefor on the 1st Shabbat we put the key on the challah
to show that through the mitzvah of Shabbat we are opening the locks.
3. In the desert the Jewish people ate from the manna until after
Pesach upon entering the land at which point they ate from the produce
of the land, and became dependant on their livelihood for the first
time (now they had no manna). The key in the challah after Pesach is a
request the God should open the Shaarei Parnasah (gates of
livelihood). Alternatively, the manna began to fall in the month of
Iyyar, and this Shabbat is always Shabbat Mevarchim Iyyar.
17 Nissan – Second Yahrtziet of Harav Shlomo Wolbe z”l
Rav Wolbe writes, (Mitzvos Hashekulos pg. 122) “Due to my lowly spiritual state I did not succeed even slightly in attaining [the spiritual levels] described in the abovementioned chapters (of the sefer Mitzvos Hashekulos). It was for mere moments that my eyes were opened and I was able to live and feel these lofty feelings (described above). However, though these days of spiritual uplifting were few, even this minimal level achieved was solely as a result of studying mussar.
“I can bear witness about myself: I lived in the far-flung country of Sweden for eight years, in a community that was barely able to pull together a quorum of Shabbos observant men. Just about all of those that held positions in the clergy went astray and their Torah observance fell by the wayside. If I was able in some way to preserve the appearance of a Torah Jew during these years that I was alone, it can only be attributed to the fact that I studied mussar on a daily basis. Without mussar, who knows what would have become of me? It was mussar that enabled me to retain my individuality in the secular society, thereby abiding by the teachings and following in the footsteps of my mentors, Rav Yeruchom Levovitz and Rav Yechezkel Levenstein.
“I write these words because I do not feel that they display even a little bit of haughtiness. This can be compared to a man who proclaimed that he remained healthy during the years of famine because he ate bread every day. He who wishes to become cognizant of his own uniqueness and individuality, should make certain that he maintains an undeviating regimen of mussar in addition to the times he sets aside for other areas of Torah study. Such a routine will, with the help of Hashem, lead one to success.”
Compiled by the family of the Mashgiach, Li’iluy Ul’zeicher nishmas HaMashgiach Harav Shlomo ben R’ Moshe z”l.
Tonight (Thursday) and tomorrow (Friday- erev shabbos) is 11 Nissan, the yarzeit of the Shelah Hakadosh, zechuso yagen aleinu.
This is a good chance to say the tfilla he wrote, the parents prayer for children, which can be said anytime (and is often said, in addition to other times, on Erev osh Chodesh Sivan). Gut Shabbos and Chag Kosher V'Sameach.
[link=http://www.shemayisrael.co.il/orgs/key/shlokey.htm]To say his Tefillah, click below on the blue 'to read more', and then click here.[/link]
Sunday, 21 Adar, (March 11th) is the yarzeit of R Eliemelech of Lizhensk, a great tsaddik who wrote a tfilla that we should be able to overlook the lacks in others and focus on the good (it starts "adaraba"). To read the tfilla, [link=http://www.shemayisrael.co.il/orgs/key/relimelech.htm]First click on "To Read More" in blue below, and then click here.[/link]. To my knowledge, it hasn't been translated. My sense is (since I can't find it translated anywhere) that it is one of those things that isn't to be translated.
You can also find the tfilla in the beginning of some siddurim, at the end of a 3 page tfilla by R Eliemelech, to be said before beginning davening. (It won't be in the Artscroll).
1. There is a special inyan to [red]recite Tehillim Chapter 22 on Ta’anis Esther and Purim[/red], for this is the Kepitel recited by Esther herself upon entering Achashveirosh’s throne room uninvited (See Kav HaYashar 97).
2. When contributing Machatzis HaShekel today, one should say [red]“Zecher L’Machatzis HaShekel”--[/red]this is the remembrance of the Machatzis HaShekel, so as not to leave the impression that this is an actual contribution to the Bais HaMikdosh, which was given at this time of year. (Luach Eretz Yisroel of Rav Tukchinsky, Z’TL)
3. On Purim, one should endeavor to [red]give Mishloach Manos [/red]not only to your relative, your best friend or your neighbor, but also [red]to someone whom you are a little bit “on the outs” with[/red], or with whom you do not speak enough, or with whom you have a somewhat cool relationship for various reasons, or for a particular reason, or for no reason at all. There is no better time to break the ice--or even to warm the cool water--by knocking on someone’s door unsolicited with a smile and a colorful Mishloach Manos. What better way could there be to dispel the claims of Haman HaRasha that we are “a dispersed and separated people”? Anyone who dislikes coolness, discord or dispute between two groups or even within one group of our people should also move to eliminate it from within himself and his family, as well. So…knock on that door…and “PURIM SAMEACH”-“A FREILICHIN PURIM”-“HAPPY PURIM”!
4. The Rema (in Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 695:2) writes that [red]the Seudas Purim, the festive Purim meal, should commence with Divrei Torah.[/red] The Mishne Berurah (in Orach Chayim 429, seif katan 2) rules that one must begin learning about Pesach on Purim--which is exactly 30 days before Pesach. Accordingly, putting the Rema and Mishne Berurah together, it is therefore a custom to commence the Purim seudah with a halacha about Pesach. In this way, one also connects the Geulah of Purim to the Geulah of Pesach (see Taanis 29A, which states that the reason we should increase our simcha to such a great extent in Adar is because it is the commencement of both the miracles of Purim and Pesach).
MAY WE GO FROM REDEMPTION TO REDEMPTION!
Special Note One: An additional noteworthy question was submitted regarding Purim:
Can you identify five instances of Middah K’neged Middah that appear in the Megillah?
Special Note Two: As we get closer to Purim we should begin to more intensely feel Hashem’s tangible but non-visible presence in our every day lives—and especially when we recite the words “Baruch Ata”—Blessed are **You** when reciting a Brocha. When it comes to Purim day itself, we will then have a greater appreciation of the Megillah as we read its “story”!
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Reprinted with permission from Hakhel MIS
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Important Numbers
