Q. Dear Rav, I had a falling out with a good friend. There were many misunderstandings and pain and silence grew. With a lack of proper communication to understand what happened, the friend told me she cannot remain my friend anymore. As time went on I strengthened myself, made new relationships and moved on from the pain. About a year later, the friend called to ask for mechila (forgiveness). This is what she said "I'm calling to ask you for mechila, but I still feel I can't be friends with you anymore." I gave her mechila, because I really wouldn't want to bear a grudge, but I hung up confused. Not because I was looking to befriend her, but because this seemed like a non-mechilah case. Like "i'd like to skip getting out of gehenom, so do you moichel me? Ya? Good. Bye!"
From time to time when I think about the whole situation that went down ( the original incident and the "repair", it's painful and confusing. Was this even mechila ? Thank you
A. Horav Aharon Miller Shlit'a and the other Rabbanim Shlit'a agree that a partial Mechila is also an act of forgiveness and should be done and recognized as such. Especially if it can maintain peace and serve for future Kiruv to Torah.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
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