Q. Chag Kasher Vesameach Rov. I received as a present from my dear father-in-law, a most beautiful and greatly decorated Kitel that he wants me to wear at the Pesach Seder we are celebrating together.
There is no doubt that I much appreciate the new Kitel, but I have some misgivings about it. Is not a Kitel supposed to be worn during one’s lifetime during Pesach and Yom Kippur and then after 120 years, one is buried wearing it. This done to remember all the good deeds one did in life. Similar to the Taalit also used.
When my father zt’l passed away, we buried him with the Kitel he used, as was the case with most of my relatives.
So should I decline accepting it, since it would look very inappropriate to use such a decorated Kitel for Tachrichim (vestments for burial). Then again I may hurt my Shver’s feelings. What is the correct thing to do?
A. Out of experience in directing many Levayos and also heading the Chevra Kadisha in Mexico, I realize that it is most common to use the special Tachrichim (burial clothes) provided for most deceased at that time and they include the cloth similar to a Kitel.
Yet there are different traditions that some people and congregations have
.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that you should use the beautiful Kitel for Yom Tov and provide Sholom Bais and joy to your family.
However, for Yom Kippur, since after all it is a solemn and serious period of correcting our misdeeds, it is better to use a simple ordinary Kitel.
I have seen people remove the extra decorations of a Kitel before burial. See also question 142 regarding the reasons of using the Kitel as Tachrichim.
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