Q. I know that Shabbat candle-lighting is supposed to be either where I eat my meal or sleep. I was supposed to eat supper in one location and sleep in another but was (late) coming from home. At the last minute, the sleeping arrangements fell through so I lit and slept at home.
However, what should I have done in the original scenario? Called one or the other and asked them to light for me? If so, would I skip lighting at home. What if I asked the sleeping host to lite and my plans changed at the last minute. Would I still be covered b'dieved?
A. Poskim mention that there are three basic principles and reasons for lighting candles on Shabbos. The first two are Kavod and Oneg Shabbos, or honoring and enjoying Shabbos and they apply basically to lighting candles at the table where one eats. The third reason is Shalom Bayit or having a Shabbos of Peace, referring mainly to not stumbling in a dark room, and it applies mainly at the sleeping room that is usually dark.
Piskei Teshuvos (263: 23: n. 206) mentions that the third reason or lighting candles in the room one sleeps, in practice usually does not apply in our days. The reason being that most bedrooms have windows to a lighted street or there is light on the corridor leading to the room, a bathroom annexed or have a small LED light and thus it is not likely that one may stumble in them. So the fact that you were planing to sleep somewhere else is inconsequential today.
As far as having planned to eat somewhere else where your host lit candles for you thinking you will attend is also of no effect, since you have to light where you actually eat. If that turns out to be in your home, you have to light there with a brocho, before Shabbos begins.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is similar. The Rov's son narrated that the Rosh Hakolel Shlit'a when he is invited to eat Leil Shabbos at his children's home, lights at home before leaving and then when he returns eats some Mezonos where he lit.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit'a.
Important Numbers
