Q. My friend's sister-in-law does not keep mitzvos, except for Shmiras HaLoshon, which she keeps rigorously. She is also "married" to a gentile.
Should she die, is someone obligated to inform the Chevra Kadisha and/or Cemetery officials that she has intermarried?
Or may one refrain from offering the information?
Supposedly one cannot lie if asked. Can one somehow avoid answering?
If the gentile dies first (no, I am not considering expediting the matter), does this change anything in the psak?
May one pray that the gentile (who is, mind you, decent, as far as gentiles go) die soon or first? Or might that have a deleterious effect on the one praying, such that they might scrutinize his Heavenly record more carefully to see if he himself deserves to hold onto his mortal coil?
May G-d help clean up these messes. Jews should marry Jews; Gentiles Gentiles.
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it depends on which section of the cemetery one is planning to acquire a burial site. There are different congregations and societies that own their section and they have different conditions for acceptance. It is both proper and wise to be open and truthful about the status of the person to be laid to rest in the plot, to avoid likely conflict when time is crucial.
In principle, there should be at least one section in a large community beth hakvaroth that would permit the interment of a Jewish person who intermarried.
We do not pray for the demise of people, we daven rather for their repentance and teshuva.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
Important Numbers
