Q. How come on Tu Beav as the Talmud (end of Taanis) relates, the marriageable women would go out and dance in the vineyards and the attending males would choose the one they liked and took them as spouses right there. Whatever happened to the mandatory stage of shiduchim that the Talmud requires first?
A. It is quoted (Tachas Hassichim 73: 40), that Rav Yaakov Galinsky zt”l once answered a similar question from a elterer bochur (senior young man) already past his prime, seeking a shiduch (a mate). The bochur also wanted to know why people who are in need of finding a shiduch often travel to Amuka to pray at the kever of the Tanna, Rabi Yonassan Ben Uziel.
Rav Yaakov explained that the Talmud (Suka 28a) relates that when this great Tannaic Sage would be learning Torah, any bird that flew over his head would be burned by his great kedusha. Paraphrasing, that all the “birdies” and doubtful, negative thoughts, (as
in the Yidish expression; “feigelach oiffen kop”),
flying around his head, would be consumed by the fire of his Torah learning. On Tu Beav, in the days of the Bais Hamikdash, the people were granted exceptional vision and clarity and did not need any additional research. Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a said that there is
no mention in the Talmud, that the couples married that same day.
Likely, after meeting the prospective spouse, they followed the
accustomed process.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo
Miller Shlit”a
Important Numbers
