Q. What is the reason for those who do not make weddings on Cheshvan?
A. See last question, where we mentioned an array of different opinions in regards to getting married on Marcheshvan. Those who abstain quote a number of reasons.
1) The assumption that this month is called MarCheshvan or the bitter Cheshvan due to the lack of Yomim Tovim. This reason is quoted in Sdei Chemed (Maareches Chassan Vekallah 23) and Nitei Gavriel (Nissuin 1: 48: 14) and others, although it lacks earlier sources. It is questioned in Betzel Hachochma (2: 60) since there are other months that also do not contain any days of festivity such as Elul, Tamuz and Av and are not called Mar or bitter. Poskim contend that the word Mar, on the contrary has connotations of importance and worth as in: “Mar D'ror” (Shemos 30: 23) or as in the customary title given to sages in the Talmud. It also connotes the word “Merachshin” or lips that keep on moving with the echo of the tefilos of the Yamim Noraim (Minhagei Belz). Nachlas Shiva (4) mentions that in a sense, Marcheshvan may be seen as the first of all months, since it establishes the “Kevius” or set up for the calendar on that year. According to the B'nai Yisoschor (Chodesh Marcheshvan, quoting Yalkut Melachim), the third Bais Hamikdosh will be inaugurated on that month. This is to compensate for the fact that Marcheshvan was the month when King Solomon completed the construction of the first Temple – though the dedication did not take place until Tishrei next year.
The Pri Chodosh (Even Ha’ezer 126:7) suggests that the name Marcheshvan is based on the fact that it marks the beginning of the rainy season. The Targum translated mar as tipa, a drop, in the verse “Hen goyim k’mar midli; Behold, the nations are as a drop of water from a bucket” (Ishaiah 40:15). As such, the name means the “rainy Cheshvan,” and far from mar meaning bitter, it connotes a month blessed by rains.
2) The month is infamous because of flood in the times of Noah occurred in that month. The flood began on the 17th of Cheshvan. Then again, the waters receded by the following year on the 27th of Cheshvan, allowing Noah and the other inhabitants of the ark to disembark. Interestingly, one explanation of the Tanachic name for this month Bul is that it stems from this month as the beginning of the rainy season in Israel; it is thus connected to the word mabul, flood – and the overabundance of rain.
3) It is the month when Sarah the Matriarch died. (Midrash Esther Rabba 7: 13, Sdei Chemed, ibid.), This fact is amply argued in seforim, Betzel Hachochma (2: 60) quotes Midroshim that maintain she died on Tishrei. Moreover, The Avos and Moshe, Aharon, Dovid etc. died in months that we do make weddings. It is also the month Rachel Imenu died. (See ample discussion in Osrei Lageffen p. 67)
Important Numbers
