1) The Aseres Yemei Teshuva, and particularly Erev Yom Kippur, is the ideal time to apologize, beg forgiveness and ask for Mechila from anyone that we may have slighted in any way throughout the previous year (or longer).
Sins that require Mechila from another human being will not be wiped away with Teshuva alone, until forgiveness is sought. If one asks you for Mechila, you should find it in your heart to forgive them. (Mateh Ephraim Siman 606:1)
The Poskim say that if the one who wronged you does not come to you to ask for Mechila, then you (the victim) should go to him/her and present yourself to him/her in such a way to encourage them to ask you for forgiveness (Mateh Ephraim Siman 606:3 based on Talmud Yoma 87a).
The Seforim compare this to us and Hashem. In the Yemei HaTeshuva Hashem comes down from Shamayim and makes it easy for us to ask - and receive- His divine forgiveness, as it says in the Posuk (Yeshaya 55:6) "Dirshu Hashem B'HiMatzo- Seek out Hashem when He is near". (See Rambam Hilchos Teshuva Perek 2 halacha 6)
2) Asking Mechila in a general way (e.g. "Are you Mochel way for anything and everything I may have done etc.) is sufficient for minor infractions only. However if you wronged someone in a significantly harmful way (spoke scandalous Lashon Hara about them, caused them significant monetary damage etc.) you must beg their forgiveness specifically for that infraction, and must verbalize the details upon asking. (Mateh Ephraim Siman 606:2)
If you spoke Lashon Hara about somebody and they don't know about it, and by revealing it to them (in order to ask forgiveness) you will cause them additional pain and anguish , it is a dispute amongst the Poskim as to the best course of action.
Rav Yisroel Salanter Zatzal maintained that if by going over to the person who you spoke against to ask for mechilah will cause them further harm, it is best not to let them know, and try to do as much Teshuva as possible, and try to spread good about that person in other ways. (Rav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach Zatzal ruled according to this opinion)
The Chofetz Chaim Zatzal (Hilchos Lashon Hara Klal 4:12) ruled that Teshuva was only complete with Mechila, and even if it caused further harm, you must approach them.
For Halacha L'Ma'aseh, of course, a Rav must be consulted.
It goes without saying that when asking for forgiveness it must be sincere and you must genuinely regret what you did and resolve not to do it again. Simply mouthing the words "Are you Mochel me?" isn't sufficient. Likewise, the one who says "I am Mochel you" but doesn't really mean it, and continues to bear a grudge in his heart, is doing a disservice for all parties involved.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) Although for some people it may usually be better (in order to concentrate more) to daven Shemona Esrei with closed eyes, in Aseres Yemei Teshuva it is advisable to daven from a siddur, as this way it is less likely to forget the additions that must be added to the Shemona Esrei (Zachreinu L'Chaim, Mi Chamocha, Hamelech HaKadosh, Hamelech Hamishpat, U'Ksov and B'Sefer Chaim).
2) If Zachreinu L'Chaim, Mi Chamocha, Hamelech Hamishpat, U'Ksov and/or B'Sefer Chaim were mistakenly skipped, and the next Bracha was already started, there is no need to repeat the Shemona Esrei.
However, if "Hamelech HaKadosh" was forgotten and you signed off the Bracha of Ata Kadosh with "HaKeil HaKadosh" as it is said the rest of the year, one must indeed repeat the Shemona Esrei, unless it was immediately corrected within the time it takes to utter three words (Toch Kedei Dibbur) and the next Bracha was not yet started. (Shulchan Aruch Siman 582:1 and 2)
The main point of these Yomim Noraim is to realize that Hashem is our King and to accept His Kingdom (and all the Mitzvos that come along with it) upon ourselves, thus forgetting "Hamelech HaKadosh" is forgetting the essence and "missing the point" of these significant days, and therefore must be repeated. (See Mishna Berura Siman 582:2)
QUESTION&ANSWER CORNER
Reader
Submitted Questions of interest on topics related to Halachos we
covered, as well as other interesting topic and Answers.
Although
the answers I give to questions are taken directly from the Sifrei
HaPoskim, and aren't my own, they are still for study purposes
only, NOT for Psak Halacha. Questions can be emailed to HalachaForToday@Gmail.com
Question:
Does
walking from one's house to the backyard constitute a halachic "change
of location" in regards to brachos? If I step outside to the backyard,
do I need to make a new bracha?
Answer:
Some Poskim (including
Rav Shlom Zalmen Auerbach Zatzal and Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv Zatzal)
consider it a change of location from a home to the backyard and require
a new Bracha. Other Poskim (including Rav Chaim Pinchos Scheinberg
Zatzal) are of the opinion that it is the same location, and a backyard
is just an extension of a home.
Therefore, if one had in
mind to eat in both the home and the backyard, no new Bracha is
required. If one had no intention of going to the backyard when he began
eating, a new Bracha is necessary.
It may also make a difference if the backyard is fenced in, according to some Poskim.
For halacha L'Ma'aseh a Rav should be consulted.
CHIZUK CORNER
This
section is dedicated L'Ilui Nishmos the Telzer Rosh Yeshiva, HaRav
Chaim Yaakov Stein Zatzal , the Mir Rosh Yeshiva, HaRav Noson Tzvi
Finkel Zatzal and the Rosh Yeshiva of Torah Ohr, the great Posek
HaRav Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg Zatzal.
May we all strive to follow in their ways and may they be Melitzei Yosher for all of Klal Yisroel.
We
will B'Ezras Hashem post here each day a short inspirational thought to
help us all improve our lives and grow in our service of our Father in
heaven, HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
I have learned that we do not have a yetzer hara on Yom Kippur. Would you know where the source for that is?
Answer:
This is from the Talmud (Yoma
20a) where it teaches that the Gematria, numerical value, of the word
HaSatan (The Satan) is 364 , as the Satan is free to try and speak
against us and otherwise harm us for all days of the year except one,
Yom Kippur, when his power over us is removed by Hashem.
The Satan and the Yetzer Hara and the Malach Hamaves (angel of death) are one and the same (Talmud Bava Basra 16a).
Thus, technically we have no Yetzer Hara on Yom Kippur, or at least his power is greatly diminished.
Reader's Follow Up Question:
If I
didnt have a yetzer hara on Yom Kippur, why is it that I feel the yetzer
hara, causing my davening not to be focused, and my mind to wander,
making me count the pages left in my siddur. What about it making me
constantly think of food?
Answer:
Good question.
The fact that we dont "have" a
Yetzer hara that day, doesn't mean that we will suddenly act like Moshe
Rabbeinu. As the Yetzer Hara, even when he isn't actively there, has
changed our behavior in so many areas that it becomes second nature to
us.
Thus, although he couldn't get
you to do a new sin that you never did before on Yom Kippur, the ones
that he succeeded in making part of us, are still part of us.
Thats why we must prepare beforehand and try to not be so bored or fidgity.
Preparation is important.
*****
For a beautiful Translation and presentation of the 13 Midos of Rachamim, compiled and submitted by a daily reader, Click HERE.
Important Numbers
