1) The Torah (Bamidbar 15:39) commands us "V'Lo Sasuru Acharei Levavchem V'Acharei Eineichem, do not stray after your hearts and after your eyes"
Rashi (ibid. quoting the Midrash Tanchuma Bamidbar 15) explains that "The eyes and the heart are "spies" for the body that "seek out" sins; the eyes see, the heart lusts and the body carries out the sins".
It is forbidden to do anything or act in a way that will in turn cause one to follow their eyes and heart and transgress a sin. (Sefer HaChinuch in his introduction quoted in Biur Halacha Siman 1 end of Dibur Hamaschil Hu Klal Gadol BaTorah)
Thus, it is forbidden for a male to purposely gaze at a female, and one who frequently and intentionally does so is deemed a Rasha. (See Talmud Bava Basra 57b. See also Mesilas Yesharim Perek 11 and Sefer Peleh Yoetz "Machshava". According to the Midrash Rabbah Vayikra 23:12 he is also deemed an "adulterer" simply by virtue of the fact that he has sinned with his eyes! )
2) Furthermore, one who intentionally gazes at women is in violation of the negative commandment (Devarim 23:10) "V'Nishmarta Mikol Davar Ra, You must guard yourself from all evil"
The Talmud (Avodah Zarah 20b) derives from the aforementioned Posuk that one who isn't careful with his eyes by day will ultimately end up following his heart and transgress a sin at night. (See Tosafos there Dibur Hamaschil Shelo Yeharher that this is not just an Asmachta, but an explicit Isur).
One who takes a certain path or chooses a certain checkout counter in a supermarket or similar actions in order to be able to gaze at a female who is on that path or behind that checkout counter, even if this person is full of Torah and good deeds like Moshe Rabbeinu, he will suffer the wrath of Gehinom [unless he does proper Teshuva] (Talmud Brachos 61a)
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QUESTION & ANSWER CORNER
Reader Submitted Questions of interest on topics related to Halachos we covered, as well as other interesting topic and Answers.
These Q&A are taken from the Q & A pages on the Halacha For Today website.
Although the answers I give to questions are taken directly from the Sifrei HaPoskim, and aren't my own, they are still for study purposes only, NOT for Psak Halacha.
Questions can be emailed to HalachaForToday@Yahoo.com
Reader's Question:
We are having a family reunion with a lot of grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters etc. What is the halacha regarding male relatives who want to give a hug to their female relative upon arrival? Which relatives are allowed and which not?
Do you have a suggestion how to decline a hug from a relative who is secular and doesn't understand the laws of Negia?
Answer:
Touching members of the opposite gender is forbidden, and if done out of love or pleasure, according to many Rishonim, and even if done not out of pleasure according to the Rambam and others, is a biblical prohibition and requires one giving his/her life rather than transgressing. (See Rabbeinu Yonah Igeres Hateshuva 1:11, Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos 353 and Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer Siman 21 and Bais Shmuel Siman 20:1)
Touching, kissing and hugging most "relatives" is also prohibited, and may even be worse as they are called "Erva" by the Torah. (See Chochmas Adam Klal 125 and Igros Moshe Yoreh Deah Vol. 2 Siman 137 Dibur Hamaschil B'Neshika)
The only permissible relatives for a person to hug and kiss is a mother/father, son/daughter, grandson/grandaughter according to some Poskim and a sister below the age of 3 (or 7 according to some Poskim).
All other relatives (Uncles/Aunts, Sisters in law/brothers in law, cousins etc.) may not be touched, kissed or hugged. period.
One must do whatever it takes to make sure they don't hug or kiss or touch anyone who they are prohibited to touch, and no "Kavod Habriyos" or "Minhag" or "They will be upset at me" answers are acceptable. (see Mishna Berura Siman 468:23 and Biur Halacha Siman 690:17)
The best thing is to be honest with them and say that your Torah does not allow you to have physical contact with them, and you appreciate them respecting your decisions.
We will iy"H cover this topic more in depth in the very near future.
May Hashem give you the strength to do the right thing always.
CHIZUK CORNER
This section is dedicated L'Ilui Nishmas the late Telzer Rosh Yeshiva , HaRav Chaim Yaakov ben Rav Binyomin Moshe Stein Zatzal.
We will B'Ezras Hashem post here each day a short inspirational thought to help us all improve our lives and grow in our service of our Father in heaven, HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
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THANK YOU AND תזכו למצות!
זכר צדיק וקדוש לברכה
הילד יהודה ז'ל בן ר' נחמן נ"י הי'ד
Tears.
That's all I can muster.
I'm looking for words; the right words.
They aren't forming cohesively, but too many people are seeking direction after this unspeakable tragedy for me to remain silent.
We have no Bais Hamikdash; yet we have Korbanos.
The latest Korban's name was Leiby Keletzky Hy"D
A young, innocent, sweet boy on this earth for less than a decade.
His life violated by a monster , then snuffed out in an act of unimaginable barbarism.
His body treated in unthinkable ways; a true Korban for Klal Yisroel.
What message lies therein?
If Hashem has allowed this to happen, it is unquestionably a message for us.
How many more messages do we need until we all wake up?
How can we be so numb and insensitive to what's going on around us?
We hear of this Korban, who serves to atone for OUR sins, yet we carry on with life as usual.
Yes, we say the expected things such as "what a tragedy!", "Hashem Yerachem" and such.
We put on a sad face and sigh for a minute or two; we may even shed a tear or two.
Then it's back to "business as usual".
We continue our vacations.
We continue our lunch dates.
We continue peppering our speech with vulgarities.
We continue watching forbidden television and movies.
We continue making disparaging remarks to our family and friends.
We continue worrying more about dressing in style than dressing B'Tzniyus.
We continue catering to our bodies at the expense of our Neshamos.
We totally miss the many messages that Hashem is sending us.
Are we so numb and blind?
How many more Korbonos do we need?
Do we need it right between the eyes R"L for us to finally take them seriously?
This boy was the son, brother and Korban of EVERY single Jew on the planet.
The amazing and heroic efforts of Acheinu Bnei Yisroel of all stripes and colors who united in the search for this boy, is surely part of the message.
He may not have been found as we all hoped, but his passing should leave us with the clarity to hold on to the Achdus that was engendered.
The outpouring of Tefilos that were said and tears that were shed for this boy and his family may not have produced the results that we hoped for, but they were not in vain.
Not one single tear, not one single prayer was for naught.
It is in times of pain and tragedy that Klal Yisroel gets their priorities straight, and focuses on the right things instead of the mundane.
We need to hold on to this focus and not need more messages to keep us anchored in Achdus and Tefilah.
Yes, there may be some evil people amongst us, but as a whole, Klal Yisroel is a great nation
Let's all be greater than we think we have the capacity to be.
Let's all start taking life a little more seriously.
Let's add more Torah to our lives, more Tzedakah, more Mitzvos, more Ahavas Yisroel....
Important Numbers
