Today's Halachos are sponsored by a daily reader, M.B., as a Zechus for a Refuah Shelaima for his father Asher ben Taji amongst all the Cholim of Klal Yisroel. Please have in mind when learning the halachos that they be in his merit. Please also keep Asher ben Taji in mind when davening for the Refuah Shelaimah for the Cholim of Klal Yisroel.
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1) If one's parent tells them not to talk to someone and/or not to forgive someone for something that that person did, and the child wants to forgive them and/or talk to them, there is no obligation to listen to the parent.
The above is true even if the parent gives a time limit (e.g. don't forgive that person or talk to them until next week) and surely if the parent says so indefinitely. (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah Siman 240:16)
2) The reason for this is that it is forbidden to hate or bear a grudge against another Jew [unless he is purposely and blatantly transgressing the Torah, see Talmud Pesachim 113b], and thus there is no obligation to listen to parents who tell you to transgress the Torah, as we discussed earlier.
Additionally, a parent that wants a child to bear a grudge is considered "Aino Oseh Ma'aseh Amcha, not acting the way a Jew must act" and there is no obligation to listen to such a parent. (See Talmud Bava Kama 94b. See Shu"t HaRosh Klal 15:5)
Based on these reasons, if the person that the parent says not to talk to or forgive is a Rasha, a wicked person, and thus permitted to be hated, it is probable that the child must listen and not talk to or forgive that person. A Rav should be consulted for Halacha L'ma'aseh.
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Please continue to daven and learn for the Refuah Shelaima of the Rosh Yeshiva of Telshe and one of the Gedolei HaDor, HaRav Chaim Stein Shlita, R' Chaim Yaakov ben Chasya Miriam
קוה אל ד', חזק ויאמץ לבך, וקוה אל ד'
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question
QUESTION & ANSWER CORNER
Reader Submitted Questions of interest on topics related to Halachos we covered, as well as other interesting topic and Answers. Taken from the Q & A pages on the Halacha For Today website.
Although the answers I give to questions are taken directly from the Sifrei HaPoskim, and aren't my own, they are still for study purposes only, NOT for Psak Halacha.
Questions can be emailed to HalachaForToday@Yahoo.com
Reader's Question:
What is the reason for kissing the mezuzah when walking by?
Answer:
The Mezuzah, besides for being a commandment in the Torah to place on the doorpost, is also a Shmira, protection for the home from harmful elements. (See Talmud Menachos 33b and Rashi there dibur Hamaschil D'Tintarei. See also Rashi ibid. 32b Dibur Hamaschil Sakanah and Rashi to Pesachim 4a Dibur Hamaschil Chovas. See also Talmud Yerushalmi Peah Perek 1:1. )
According to the Rambam (Hilchos Mezuzah Perek 6:13, based on Talmud Menachos 43b) it is also a protection to prevent from sinning.
The Talmud (Avoda Zarah 11a) relates the story of how the Roman Caesar sent his soldiers to capture Onkeles (Who was the nephew of the Roman Ceasar who became a convert to Judaism and subsequently one of the greatest Jews who ever lived. His Targum (translation) of the Torah is printed in virtually every Chumash and each week all male Jews are required to read the Torah of the week twice with his translation once) and each time as they tried to take him out of his home he placed his hand on the Mezuzah upon leaving and upon explaining his actions to the guards that he trusts in Hashem who protects His people, they converted as well. See the Talmud for the entire exchange and the story.
Every Mezuzah has the name Shin Daled Yud written on the outside, which besides being a name of Hashem is an acronym for "Shomer Diras Yisroel, protector of Jewish dwellings" (Darchei Moshe Yoreh Deah Soman 288:3 quoting the Kol Bo. Similarly, in the Siddur of the Arizal it is written that it stands for "Shomer Dalsos Yisroel, protector of Jewish doors". Se also Zohar Parshas V'Eschanan page 266b in the old prints)
The Rama Yoreh Deh Siman 285:2 writes, based on the Gemara above as well as on a Midrah Bereishis Rabbah end of Perek 35, that when one leaves their home or enters their home they should place their hand on the Mezuzah and say a certaim Posuk for shmirah.
Some people have the Minhag, before going to bed, to go to the door of their room, place their hand on the Mezuzah and say certain Pesukim for Shemirah. (See Kitzur Shulchan Aruch Siman 71:4)
Many Poskim do not write anything about "kissing" the mezuzah and simply write that it is a good thing to place one's hand on it, as in the story of Onkelos it makes no mention of any kissing.
However, the Chida in Birchei Yosef to Yoreh Deah 285 quotes the Arizal that "one should place a finger on the 'Shin Daled Yud' that is on the mezuzah and kiss the finger and daven to Hashem for protection and to be saved from the Yetzer Hara" , and seemingly many people have adopted this minhag (at least the kissing the finger part).
The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch Siman 11:24 also writes that the Mezuzah should be kissed when entering and leaving the home. However in Siman 71 that we referenced earlier regarding touching hte Mezuzah before bed, he does not write anything abot kissing it and only writes to place the hand on it so seemingly he holds that kissing is only necessary when entering or leaving the room.
Our holy sages, the Chazal tell us
תנא דבי אליהו כל השונה הלכות בכל יום מובטח לו שהוא בן עולם הבא, שנאמר הליכות עולם לו, אל תקרי הליכות אלא הלכות
- one who studies [at least two] Halachos daily is assured a portion in Olam Haba - the world to come. (Talmud Niddah 73a)
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