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עשרת ימי תשובה תש"ע
Chizuk Thought of the Day for Aseres Yemei Teshuva:
There are 3 main Yesodos (foundations) necessary to accomplish true Teshuva, and the 3 are broken down (by Rabeinu Yonah in Sefer Shaarei Teshuva) into 20 Ikarim (more detailed), different aspects to achieve a proper and everlasting Teshuva.
The 3 main Yesodos are 1)Charata (regret), 2)Vidui (verbally enumerating one's sins), and 3) Azivas HaChet (Letting go of the sin and resolving to never repeat it).
The first 10 of the 20 Ikarim (I am using the list brought in Sefer Chareidim, based on the Rabbeinu Yonah) are as follows (the next 10 will be in tomorrow's email iy"H):
#1) Regret your bad deeds and say to yourself "what have I done? How could I have not feared Hashem's anger and fury?"
#2) Let go of the sin. Let the evildoer resolve truthfully with his/her whole heart to never repeat the sin until his/her dying day. The resolve should be so strong that the One who knows our deepest and darkest thoughts [Hashem] will be able to testify that we will never transgress that particular sin again.
#3) Your entire being (body and soul) should tremble and feel pained and bitter for having angered your Creator who is the Creator of the sun, moon, sky, earth and everything else!
#4) Do something tangible to express your pain, such as fasting, crying and lamenting for your sins.
#5) Worry and fear about the punishment that you will get for your sins; how bad things will come over you because of them. Figure out how to do proper Teshuva to rescue yourself from the punishment.
#6) Be tremendously embarrassed and immensely shamed before the king of kings, Hashem, and be afraid to lift your eyes to appear before Him.
#7) Humble your heart and be self-effacing in the knowledge that one who rebels against the great king [Hashem], surely will lose some of his status and will be ridiculed in his own eyes and in the eyes of others and unless you repent you will be relegated to being treated like a leper, despised and detested by society.
#8) Act humbly by always keeping your eyes focused downwards, speaking in low tones, and not speaking harsh words.
#9) Break your material Ta'vos (lusts and material desires). Lessen your enjoyments of pleasures and don't stuff yourself with food more than is necessary for satiation and to sustain your life, and avoid [excessive] marital relations with your spouse (besides what is necessary to fulfill the Mitzvah of Pru U'Revu, or other spousal obligations)
#10) Rectify the particular areas in which you have sinned with their good alternatives. Some examples: If you gazed at immodest images, train your eyes to always avoid inappropriate sights, and let your eyes gaze at the light of the Torah (by reading Torah texts or gazing into the Sefer Torah by Hagbah etc.). If you used your feet to run to sin, train them now to always run to do Mitzvos. If your tongue was accustomed to uttering falsehoods and/or foul language, train your mouth to only speak good and wise things. If you used your hands to spill blood, or for stealing which is tantamount to spilling blood, train your hands
to provide for poor people, orphans and widows, as well as saving people from being taken advantage of financially by unscrupulous people. If your heart was always filled with heretical thoughts, train and purify your heart to understand the greatness of our Creator [Hashem]. If you were involved in spreading Machlokes (disputes) between friends, train yourself to seek peaceful resolutions and pursue peace always.
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1) Two G-d fearing males may be alone with a woman, even if she is non Jewish or even if she is a Prutzah, as we assume that each of the men will be too embarrassed to do anything inappropriate in front of the other man, regardless of the woman's intentions. (See Shu"t MaHaril Diskin Psakim Siman 2 Dibur Hamaschil Rishona and Shu"t Shav Yaakov Siman 19)
The leniency of one woman allowed to be alone with 2 men is only during the day time hours. During the night time hours (starting from when it is usual for the men to go to sleep), three men will be required in order to eliminate the problem of Yichud. (See Rama Even HaEzer Siman 22:5, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch Siman 152:3, Aruch HaShulchan Even HaEzer Siman 22:8 and Chazon Ish Hilchos Ishus Siman 30:3 Dibur Hamaschil V'Nireh. Regarding if this applies to situations of Yichud D'Rabanan as well: see Igros Moshe Even HaEzer Vol. 1 Siman 61. See also Shu"t Chasam Sofer Even HaEzer Vol. 2 Siman 96)
The reason for this is that with only 2 men, we are afraid that one of them will fall asleep and thus she will end up alone with the remaining man. ( See Ra'avad in sefer Ba'alei Hanefesh Sha'ar Haprisha Siman 1:23. See also Bais Shmuel on Shulchan Aruch Siman 22 S"K 9)
2) If the men are only visiting the woman in her home, and plan to return to their own homes to go to sleep, then even during the night time hours, 2 men are enough to remove any Yichud problems as we don't worry about one of them falling asleep.
All of the above is even in cases where Libam Gas Ba, and even if their occupations are around women, as since they are G-d fearing Jews we assume that they will be too embarrassed to sin in front of each other.
Important Numbers
