1) The Aseres Yemei Teshuva, and particularly Erev Yom Kippur, is the ideal time to apologize, beg forgiveness and ask for Mechila from anyone that we may have slighted in any way throughout the previous year (or longer).
Sins that require Mechila from another human being will not be wiped away with Teshuva alone, until forgiveness is sought. If one asks you for Mechila, you should find it in your heart to forgive them.
The Poskim say that if the one who wronged you does not come to you to ask for Mechila, then you (the victim) should go to him/her and present yourself to him/her in such a way to encourage them to ask you for forgiveness (Mateh Ephraim, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch and others based on Gemara in Yoma 87a). The Seforim compare this to us and Hashem. In the Yemei HaTeshuva Hashem comes down from Shamayim and makes it easy for us to ask - and receive- His divine forgiveness, as it says in the Posuk "Dirshu Hashem B’HiMatzo- Seek out Hashem when He is near".
2) Asking Mechila in a general way (e.g. "Are you Mochel way for anything and everything I may have done etc.) is sufficient for minor infractions only. However if you wronged someone in a significantly harmful way (spoke scandalous Lashon Hara about them, caused them significant monetary damage etc.) you must beg their forgiveness specifically for that infraction, and must verbalize the details upon asking.
However, if you spoke Lashon Hara about somebody and they don’t know about it, and by revealing it to them (in order to ask forgiveness) you will cause them additional pain and anguish , it is better not to detail what was spoken, but rather to simply ask Mechila for speaking badly about them (Rav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach Zatzal)
Of course, when asking for forgiveness it must be sincere and you must genuinely regret what you did and resolve not to do it again. Simply mouthing the words "Are you Mochel me?" isn’t sufficient. Likewise, the one who says "I am Mochel you" but doesn’t really mean it, and continues to bear a grudge, is doing a disservice for all parties involved.
תנא דבי אליהו כל השונה הלכות בכל יום מובטח לו שהוא בן עולם הבא, שנאמר הליכות עולם לו, אל תקרי הליכות אלא הלכות - one who studies [at least two] Halachos daily is assured a portion in Olam Haba - the world to come. (:מגילה כ"ח )
Important Numbers
