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FRUMToronto Articles Shemiras Halashon

Daily Halachos on Shemiras Halashon


Blog Image: ChofetzChaim2.jpg
Shmirat Halashon - For Friday (16 Heshvan) and Shabbat (17 Heshvan) 5769
Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud

Friday - 16 Heshvan

Lesson 1
When we correct people, we can end up misusing  the word ’always’. Ex: Why do you always forget to bring me what i ask for? "You always say the same things". ’Always’statements tend to be exaggerations and cause a lot of distress.

Lesson 2
Reflect before you use the word ’always’, does anyone ever always do something? Literally, this would be mean the person never does anything otherwise: at all times, with all people, and in all situations. In reality, this is quite rare.

Shabbat - 17 Heshvan

Lesson 1
Sometimes we don’t explicitly say the word ’always’ but we imply it. Ex: You refuse to do favors for others". The way this is worded implies that the person always refuses. This falls into the same category of always statements, a statement that is exaggerated, endless, and does not have manageable implications

Lesson 2
Asides for causing people pain, using "always" statements is a very ineffective way to motivate someone. Note- The easier you make it seem to correct a fault, the greater a chance the other person will make the effort. Try to motivate the person to improve one step at a time. Instead of using the word always, why not say "what you said this time or this word was inappropriate for this reason" - make it practical, tangible, and conquerable.



(Lessons taken from The Power of Words by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin)


Posted 11/28/2008 12:00 AM | Tell a Friend | Shemiras Halashon | Comments (0)

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