we are introduced in this parsha to the daughters of Tzlafchad, who in the most assertive, yet modest way, made sure their father's inheritance was assured, to tell over two vignettes about some very strong, noble Jewish women. The stories are found in the sefer of Yisrael Speigel.
The wife of a great Rav, we'll call her Leah, was approached by her husband with a very peculiar request. He wanted her, whenever they were out in public together, to treat him badly and denigrate him for all to see. Of course the very idea of disrespecting this man for whom she in fact had the utmost respect, even privately, was abhorrent to her. He however, badgered her day after day, until she was actually prepared to be a dutiful wife and accede to his wish, but for one final hitch - from where would she muster the fortitude to live with this new reputation of being an abusive, irreverent, even impious woman. The Rav gave her the courage, and clarified his rationale, by telling her the following tale.
The great and famous R' Yechezkel Landau, aka "Nodeh B'Yehuda" (1713 - 1793), had a wonderful daughter whom he married off to a young man who would turn out to be the brilliant and extremely pious R' Yosef, the Rav of Posen. It was well known that the "Nodeh B'Yehuda" was very fond and proud of his son-in-law, and even praised him profusely when mentioning him in some of his responsa. That only made the following phenomenon more bizarre. Not long after the young couple married, and R' Yosef was already confidently ensconced as rabbi of the city of Posen, visitors to their home, and even at other public venues, couldn't help but notice, and be taken aback by the behavior of the young rebbetzin. Any time R' Yosef was asked a question of any kind, or was being honored in any way, his wife would interject with the most derisive and humiliating comments about her husband. She would say unsolicited, disgusting things like, " Why are you asking Him questions - he is a buffoon, an 'empty suit' who is bereft of a single good character trait - a useless phoney !" R' Yosef never answered back and never complained. The people of the community felt great sympathy for their young, brilliant Rav, who 'nebech' had to put up with such a wretched shrew. They were also completely baffled at how the daughter of such an illustrious and pious father, could behave in such a way. This went on for years until suddenly, at a relatively early age, R' Yosef passed away.
The coffin was at the front of the shul and a huge crowd gathered for the funeral of their beloved Rav. Suddenly, the widow, the quite despised rebbetzin, approached the community leaders. A rather heated conversation ensued. She wanted to eulogize her husband. They were mystified as to why this consistently hate-filled, scorn-spewing 'wife', would even want to speak, but she remained adamant about exercising her right to say a few words. When she reached the podium, the silence in the shul was palpable. Many in the room were justifiably worried that she would erupt, even at that solemn and mournful moment, with more contempt and mockery.
She stood there trying to maintain her composure. She gazed out at the congregation as she wiped tears from her cheeks. Then she turned her eyes to the coffin and moaned, " Oy, Reb Yosef Hatzadik - truly you were R' Yosef Hatzadik. If I regret anything, it is that I was not able to show my appreciation and reverence for your righteousness and holiness. Were it not for the vow which you made me take, I would have sung your praises all day. But you, my dear husband, while you used your G-D-given gifts to the maximum good, feared those gifts and their often-accompanying feelings of pride and haughtiness. You begged me to swear that I would do my best to malign and humiliate you in public, so that you would never think too highly of yourself. Yes, I disguised my whole public persona for you - to be a good and loyal wife, but now that you're gone, let me state here and now that there is in fact no one more than myself, who knows what a truly great and righteous man you were."
When she turned to her seat, the crowd was agape. Almost everyone in the room was bawling, not only at the revelation of their late Rav's modesty and humility, but out of feelings of shame for the way they, for decades, thought of their rebbetzin. Then, miraculously, the image of Rav Yosef appeared at the front of the shul and turning to the widow, nodded his head in acknowledgment of her love, devotion and goodness.
Leah acquiesced. Her husband gave her a hand-written, signed note stating that her negative treatment of him was at his insistence and that she was in fact a wonderful wife and person. She outlived her husband and although she did tell her story to R' Sholom Shvadron ZT"L, she refused to show him the note and beseeched him to never disclose her secret during her lifetime. She chose to allow her reputation to remain sullied and to keep her mitzvah of being "a good wife", private - between herself, her husband and Hashem.
I'll be brief with the other story. The Kalever Rebbe told it over from an eyewitness who was part of a small clandestine group of trusted Jews, who were charged with insuring that there was always a minyan in attendance at every "bris". In those early years of communism in Russia being caught having, giving or even attending a bris could lead to a series of catastrophic consequences - investigations, loss of employment, trumped-up charges leading to Siberian prisons or even death sentences. A bris could only take place at the right time, the right place and with trustworthy people only, in attendance.
This 'minyan' group was once invited to be present at the bris of a young couple's eldest son. They met the young father who escorted them through a labyrinth of alleyways and courtyards until they finally reached a brightly lit basement room. The tables were prepared with all kinds of delicious delicacies and the spirit was festive. A rather large infant was brought in and the bris was completed without a hitch. As wishes of 'mazal tov' were being conveyed, the baby was handed to the mother. Suddenly a loud thump was heard and all heads turned her way. She had collapsed ! B"H the child was unhurt and they were able to revive the mother. When asked why she had fainted, she explained. " Our son is already over a year old. My husband and I waited anxiously and longingly for the moment when we could finally bring our little one into the covenant of Avrohom Aveenu. Although I hugged and tended to every need of our son all this time, I had long ago decided that I would not kiss my baby until he was a full-fledged Jew. A hundred times a day, I had to pull myself away from kissing him to remain true to my commitment. At long last, we merited bringing him into the covenant and they handed me my perfect little Jewish boy. I immediately kissed him. All of those kisses that I wanted to give him during all of those months, but couldn't, were combined in that small, gentle kiss. I can tell you now, that the love and emotional connection of a mother to her child can be so strong that it could make her lose consciousness. Boruch Hashem ! "
If there is any inspiration gotten from these stories, let it be dedicated "L'iluy Nishmas" (to the elevation of the soul) of little Leiby Kletzky A"H. May his parents ultimately find consolation amongst the other Jewish mourners of Zion and Yerushalayim.
Important Numbers
