How can we make our wives be satisfied with our efforts to achieve, and make progress in ruchnius?
If you utilize the opportunities when you're home to inspire your family with these ideals. If a man comes home from the kollel,cor the yeshiva, and he's sad, he's depressed – because in the kollel somebody was a making a lot of noise saying a piece of Torah, and he is envious, he couldn't do that – so he comes back from the yeshiva downcast and discouraged, and he's curt at home, so his wife doesn't see any happiness of achievement. She is certainly not going to encourage him to continue being unhappy.
But if whenever he comes home he speaks with idealism, constantly, and especially by the Shabbos table. And he talks in terms of the kindness of Hashem, he talks in terms of the glory of the Jewish people, he talks in terms of the greatness of Torah, and he inspires his wife – that's his job to inspire her! What is she supposed to do, just to stay home and cook for him, while he's making progress in the Yeshiva? He has to reflect some of his perfection, some of his achievements in the home. If he does, then his wife will go along with him. If the children see that the father is interested in making the home a happy place – he comes back from the synagogue, even if he's not a Yeshiva man, a working man, when he comes back from the synagogue he's glowing with happiness, he tells them how great davening is, he speaks of the importance of going to the synagogue and what a kedusha it is, and he makes the home feel that this is a continuation...
Like it says, im ata tovo el beisi ani ovo el beishecha, Hashem says, if you come to My house I will come to your house, so he brings the Shechinah back with him. If a man comes from shul Friday night and he's happy, he's glowing, and he says Shalom Aleichem at home and the house is full of joy, then he's transferring all the idealism that he might've gleaned in the synagogue, and he's bringing it home, but if he doesn't, it's his own fault.
Therefore that's his purpose in life, he should continue to forge ahead, and at the same time his family must forge ahead with him. His wife has to make progress with him; he shouldn't neglect his wife's spiritual achievements, too.
The following Dvar Torah is taken from "A Nation is Born"
וישלח משה את חתנו וילך לו אל ארצו
And Moshe accompanied his father-in-law. (18:27)
Moshe was the Man of G-d, the greatest of all Prophets, and the ruler over a nation of millions; and by his hand Hashem had performed wonders that had never before or after been seen. Yet he did not merely bid farewell politely to Yithro, who was not an Israelite, but he accompanied him as he started out to return to Midian. Vay'shalach does not mean "He sent away" but "He accompanied him" as he departed.
The Torah here teaches the humility of Moshe (as in Bamidbar 12:3), and it teaches the necessity of Derech Eretz which requires respect for a father-in-law although he may be very far beneath the importance of the son-in-law
Important Numbers
