Since man is made to keep far away from women, why is getting married such a good deed?
When he gets married, his wife is ishto k'gufo, his wife is part of himself, they are one person; that's a different story. He has to keep in mind that whatever he wants for himself, he wants for his wife too. He wants perfection, he wants happiness, he wants olam hazeh, olam habah – all for his wife too. When he learns Torah, she's his partner and she gets full reward equal to his, in his learning, that's what the Gemara says. But he has to be on guard always against other women.
Suppose a woman comes along and says, you know, you're a talmid chochom, I want you to learn Mesilas Yeshorim with me, Chovos Halvovos with me. Pick up your feet and run as fast as you can. People don't realize how important it is to l'hisrachek m'hanoshim. Fifty years ago I was in the country with some Satmar Jews. It was Tisha b'Av and we were going to say kinos, so I said to them maybe the women are too far away and they cannot hear the kinos. So one Satmarer smart man said to me, vos veiter als besser – the further away. the better off we are. The better off they are too. I can tell you stories about frum men who tried to do mitzvos with women, and it ended up a disaster.
Women ruin a man. They lose all their sense, you have no sechel when you deal with a woman, you become like a d-o-g. Therefore, for men and women the very best advice is l'hisrachek m'hanoshim. Women should not work in offices where there are men; if she can avoid it she shouldn't do it. When I was in Slabodka, women didn't work in the offices of the Yeshiva – not one woman was there, only men. When I came back to America and I saw the Yeshivas had women working in the offices, I was surprised.
Now you may say it's not fair, the women won't have any employment! That's a problem, but this is not the way of solving the problem. L'hisrachek m'hanoshim, keep far away from women, at all times.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210