If Hashem wants us to serve Him from happiness, ivdu es Hashem besimcha, serve Hashem with happiness, so why does it say tov laleches l'beis aivel, it's better to go to a house of mourning rather than go to a house of rejoicing?
ANSWER:
I'll tell you a peirush which you wouldn't like, you never heard of it before. When do you appreciate eating most? You know when? Motsai Yom Kippur. If you think it's a minor achievement of Yom Kippur, let me contradict you. One of the major purposes of the Torah is to teach us to thank Hakadosh Baruch Hu. You can never thank unless you can compare your present situation to what it could have been otherwise. You want to be happy? Go visit a cemetery. I've said this advice for years. If you feel depressed, stand outside of a cemetery for a long time and look at the gravestones, you walk away somewhat more cheerful. You won't be sad, because you're thinking there is something worse than what you are now; that's to be underneath those stones.
Nobody can know what he has unless by contrast. That's why we don't say Baruch Ata Hashem that You gave me eyes to see, no, we say Baruch Ata Hashem Pokeiach ivrim, who opens the eyes of the blind! Unless you see a blind man tapping his way with a white cane, you can't appreciate the happiness of sight. Unless you see a man who has no feet sitting in a wheelchair propelling himself, you don't realize how sweet it is to be able to sail down the avenue on your own two clogs. Ahh, what a delicious thing, to tramp down the street; you can tramp or saunter, or walk or run, it makes no difference, anyway it's sweet, it's living to be able to walk.
And believe me, when you walk by a man sitting in a wheelchair, slow down; he shouldn't be too jealous of you. Don't make him feel bad, slow down, if you want you can plod by. There used to be in Slabodka a man who couldn't daven well, so once he went to the amud for pesukei d'zimrah (they wouldn't let him daven shachris), when he went off, the next man was an expert chazan and when he got up he starting stammering intentionally to make the first man feel good. The first man stammered in baruch she'amar, so the second man stammered at yish'tabach to make the first man feel good. So if you walk by a man in a wheelchair, walk by slowly, act like it's also a little difficult, you have arthritis in your legs, but if you run past in your youthful joints and your youthful ankles, you're causing him anguish. Because the greatest happiness is appreciated only when you don't have it, and a man in a wheelchair knows how good it is to be able to walk.
Therefore you can't appreciate the simcha of life unless you go to a beis aivel. Now don't tell me you won't feel this emotion - as you walk out you feel mightily relieved. Inside the atmosphere is oppressive, it's sad, and so as you are there you try to act as you're participating. When you walk out and take a deep lung-full of fresh air, Baruch Hashem I'm finished with that, now onto life. I'm alive. Ohh, that's a wicked thought you think? It's not a wicked thought. So now you know a new aspect of going to the bais aivel, Ha'chai ye'tein el libo, the living man should put to his heart how good it is to be alive and to thank Hashem for it.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Important Numbers
