The following is an extraordinary teaching from HaRav Pam, Z’tlL, presented
in The Pleasant Way (by Rabbi Sholom Smith, p. 62-63):
"In the
Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 344:1) it is written that it is a great mitzvah to
eulogize a deceased person, and that in fact it is even permitted to
**slightly embellish** the words of tribute. The Taz (ibid.) wonders why
this is permitted: Is it only forbidden to utter a big lie--but small lies
are permissible? If the praises are exaggerated, why are they allowed [at
all] and, moreover why are they even encouraged? The Birkei Yosef (ibid.)
answers that slight embellishment is permitted because people are generally
not aware of the attributes and accomplishments of the departed person,
either because his deeds were not publicized or because he concealed them.
The embellishment is in all likelihood very close to [or perhaps itself
even falls short of] the beautiful truth about this person.
"A Maggid
(heavenly emissary) was sent to HaRav Yosef Karo, Z’tl, the author of the
Bais Yosef and the Shulchan Aruch, to teach the most esoteric secrets of the
Torah. Some of these Torah thoughts are found in the Sefer Maggid
Meishorim. The Sefer notes that the Maggid described to HaRav Karo the
greatness of his Rebbetzin’s soul, so that he would realize who she was and
appreciate and honor her properly.
"Why did the Maggid need to tell
HaRav Karo about his wife? Can one contemplate for a moment that the HaRav
Karo had Shalom Bayis problems or Chas v’Shalom mistreated his wife, thus
requiring a Maggid to set him straight? Of course not, but knowing her full
greatness--not previously known to HaRav Karo--would serve to even further
enhance the great respect and honor he already undoubtedly had for
her.
"There is a great lesson to be learned here. One can never know
the true value of one’s friend or neighbor. Therefore, it is of the
utmost importance to respect and honor **every** person--young and
old--with whom one comes into contact. Only then will a person properly
fulfill his interpersonal obligations."
When you sum-up a person, don’t
just jump to conclusions based upon what you know about him. Instead, you
should recall that in truth you don’t know everything there is to know about
him--and realize that he really may be (and probably is) a much better person
than you think!
Important Numbers
