If a person was hurt by somebody's words, should you discuss it with anybody?
ANSWER:
If he's able to forget about it, it's the very best way. That's the ideal of savlonus; because it was given as a test. If he passes the test and just forgets about it, that's the most successful way.
To talk it over means, you want somebody to justify you and to blame him. Sometimes you want him to console you, but if a person knows that you don't need consolation, the biggest consolation is that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is satisfied with you. So forget about it.
Some people go to psychologists, counselors; it's a waste of money and a waste of time. They'll make a big fuss about it, and they'll make another visit necessary, and another visit, and the bills keep on piling up. The best thing is get it out of your head, just laugh it off, laugh from simcha because it's a benefit given to you. It was a privilege, and you passed the test and now it's all over.
Good Shabbos To All
This email is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
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