I want to mention first and foremost that my shalom bayit pointers (and my classes) are directed at the average couple, who has normal issues that are not "off the chart". If you are in a situation involving mental illness or abuse, please seek professional help.
Rebbetzin Tehilla Abramov teaches: "A couple fits together in a complimentary way--where she is weak, he has strength for two, and vice versa." This attitude, based on a firm belief in the idea that our spouse is custom-made for us, helps us to have humility and compassion for the other.