If you know your spouse isn't good at something - disciplining the kids, arriving on time, organizing papers or whatever - and you've known this for many years already, consider giving up the hope that he or she will ever develop this skill or talent (in the same way that YOU have had difficulty with certain tasks throughout your entire lifetime and probably will continue to be challenged in those areas). This isn't meant to be fatalistic - both your spouse and you might surprise everyone and suddenly develop a talent in a weak area. Meanwhile, however, you can refrain from the constant battle and the feeling of "surprise" regarding poor performance in certain areas. Just accept the weakness and graciously work around it as much as you can - and when you can't, quietly accept the level of performance as it is without further recriminations. In fact, continue to offer positive feedback, encouragement and compassion, as these strategies certainly help your relationship and might even help your partner's performance.
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