How can a poor and sick person (we'll leave out the sick person for the time being, let's first study a poor person) how can he fulfill ivdu es Hashem b'simcha?
ANSWER:
This poor man, let's say he's sick too now, (I'll make you happy, we'll make him sick too) I'm just joking, and now he's going to a specialist. A specialist, even a kind hearted specialist, takes $350. So this poor man asks if the doctor takes Medicaid and the answer is no, the receptionist tells him it's cash. So he pays $350, and suppose the specialist would hit him on the nose, I don't mean physically, but he'll guess exactly what's wrong with him, and the poor man will get a miracle cure and go home cured. He's still poor but he's not sick anymore. How will he feel on the way home? He'd be singing on the way home with happiness, he'd be walking on the clouds! he wouldn't know what to do with that specialist, he'd be so happy he'd worship him! He'd send cards to him every year; people do that.
Of course it never works that fast, even if a specialist does guess the correct diagnosis, but the cure is so gradual that by the time it's effective the man thinks that he himself could have gotten cured, and he regrets that he gave the specialist the $350. But if he is convinced that it happened through the specialist then he's grateful. So now here is a poor man, he's so happy he's delirious.
Now suppose this poor man never became sick, shouldn't he be just as delirious? On the contrary, he's $350 richer! So here is a chance for a poor man to be happy. So you say a poor sick man, let's say he remains sick, after visiting the specialist he remains sick.
Now a poor sick man is going to the dentist. His tooth is hurting him something awful, he tells the dentist, and the dentist does something to the tooth. Either he puts on some oil of cloves, or he pulls out the tooth and pain is gone. This man goes home a happy man. He's still a poor sick man but now he could sleep at night; he's full of joy. Now if a poor sick man has a toothache in addition to his sickness, it's much worse. There isn't a poor sick man who hasn't every cause to be happy. It's better to be a poor sick man in New York than a poor sick man in Moscow.
Suppose a poor sick man is able to emigrate from Moscow and come to New York. That man is treading on the clouds, despite his poverty and his sickness.
Therefore there isn't a person in the world - like the Mesilas Yeshorim says - there is not a human being in the world that doesn't have cause whether he's well or ill, rich or poor, who doesn't have abundant cause to be grateful. One of the biggest reasons for gratitude is that he is still alive! The poor sick man is trying his best to stay alive, isn't he? Therefore the fact that he succeeds in remaining alive is a very great happiness.
And it's nothing but lack of thought when people are incapable of being grateful, no matter what the circumstances are.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
If suffering causes greatness, how is it that when the wise men were asked, chavivin alecha yisurin, do you love suffering? One case after the other they replied no, lo hein vlo sechoron, they didn't want suffering.
ANSWER:
Could I say that it's good for you to suffer, and therefore I am not going to help you, because suffering will make you great? No! That's wickedness. I am enjoined by the Torah and by common sense; I must try to help you alleviate your suffering. I can't worry about your spiritual progress, I have to worry about your physical benefits; that's a general rule. You say no, let the man be hungry, because while he is hungry he won't learn gluttony, he won't pursue things that perhaps even would harm his health.
When people don't have much to eat, usually they live longer, people that have too much to eat, we know they kill themselves. No that's not our business. Our business is to supply people with all kind of good things, let them use their discretion.
Only when suffering did come on somebody, when it was unsought, then he looked back and he recognized the value that he received from it. It's always a post facto thing. We never seek suffering, because our bodies are not ours, and just as we are commanded to help our fellow man alleviate his suffering, we have to help this fellow man alleviate his suffering. We have no right to inflict suffering on our bodies, they are only loaned to us; we and our bodies are two different entities. We can't make our bodies suffer because we want spiritual progress. It's like I cannot make you suffer.
It's like a husband and wife, the wife tells the husband, "no more pastry in our house because I have to reduce." You can't make your husband suffer because of you. Therefore your poor body doesn't have to suffer because of you.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
How can we recognize if a man is a gadol hador, one of the great Torah leaders, who we must follow?
ANSWER:
The answer is, how can you know who is a good doctor? Do you ask the ladies on the block? No! You ask your local doctor. The local physician will tell you, go to this man, you have nobody else to rely on. Whether he knows or not, you have to obey him, so you ask physicians and they tell you.
If you want to know who is a gadol batorah, you have to ask people who are proficient in the Torah. And who are proficient in the Torah in America? The same as all over the world, the roshei hayeshivos are the most proficient.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
When Jews are tolerated, is that better than being persecuted?
ANSWER:
Now in our subject today, we are talking about resistance; that is the banner of the Jewish people. Resistance, as was explained is not only to armed opposition, also resistance is necessary to the ridicule of the nations, habooz l'gei yonim (Tehillim 123:4) the scorn of the arrogant against us, and that's what Mattisyahu had to contend with. But there is another resistance, that's just as difficult and just as important, and for this I will explain with a famous legend.
Once there was a man walking in the street with an overcoat, and the sun and the wind had a conversation. The wind said, "I am going to make this man remove his overcoat!" So the wind began to blow with force to pull the coat off his shoulders. What did the man do? He buttoned his coat more securely and he put his hands in his pockets to keep it from blowing off, and the wind lost out.
Now the sun said, "Let me take over!" And the sun began to shine, and it became warm and hot, and the man unbuttoned his coat, it became hotter so he carried it over his arm, and after a while he put it in his home and did not take it out anymore.
And that's the difference between persecution and tolerance. In the times of persecution there are people who yield, no question some people got lost because of persecution, but the majority of the people remained loyal. But the resistance to tolerance, that was the most difficult test of all. When the German people began to smile-it wasn't a real smile, it was an external smile to the Jewish people-when they showed their admiration for Mendelsohn because he was a writer and a philosopher, and Jews began to breathe the air of freedom, they became intoxicated in Germany.
Now some of them began to assume positions in the universities, high office in government, and therefore it became a rush to assimilation in Germany. This resistance was the weakest of all, the resistance against the sun of tolerance. That's where the Jew is in the greatest danger, and that's our battletoday, to fight back against tolerance.
Now we don't know how long it will happen, Hakadosh Baruch Hu might say, "My children, I see that it's too much of a test for you, to have too much tolerance, so maybe I'll change that and I'll have intolerance, so you'll button your coats more securely." So now the boys that run around with jeans and the girls with pants, and they engage in every kind of wickedness, because they are following the ways of the nations. Maybe after a while they'll think,"Look, the nations hate us, and they are persecuting us, so maybe we should go back to the Jewish people, to our nation, and the boys will go to yeshivas and the girls to Bais Yaakov? Could be it's a better thing.
Of course it would be much smarter if we would use the tolerance that we have now, which permits us to practice our Torah without any hindrance, and now is the time! But I'm afraid that they won't utilize this opportunity.
But that's the great test of the blandishments of the goyim. When the goyim are nice to us, then that's the worst kind of test there is.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
After one hundred twenty years, what will women be asked in the din v'cheshbon?
ANSWER:
I don't know what anybody's going to be asked, except a few questions, and the same questions apply to everybody. One question is, nososo v'nosato b'emuna, did you do business honestly? And honestly is not what you call honestly; honestly is what the Shulchon Aruch Choshen Mishpot calls honestly. If you are a bookbinder and you deliver the goods, did you paste all the pages in the right places? Or did you skip a few places? Because on thousands of books you make a lot of money if you skip just one place pasting. So you say, what's wrong, in general it's good? No, no... If you cheat even in the smallest thing, then you are very answerable for it, you'll have to explain what happened. And business is the most difficult thing of all, it's more difficult to be straight in business than to have a kosher kitchen, because the Choshen Mishpot is even bigger and more complicated than the Yoreh Deah, and this people don't know.
To be honest in business is more important than to have a kosher house. Of course if you don't have a kosher house, then your honesty in business also doesn't mean anything, because it means that you're an honest Italian, not an honest Jew. An honest Jew is a Jew who keeps kosher and believes in Hakadosh Baruch Hu, he's honest because Hakadosh Baruch Hu requires it. Honesty in business is a prime requirement and you are going to be asked, nososo v'nosato b'emuna, and not what you think is b'emuna, what Hashem thinks is b'emuna.
And the next question is, asakto b'piryo v'rivyo, were you busy having children? If you practice contraception you are going to have a very red face. Was your house full of children? Were they driving you crazy? That's what they're supposed to do. Children are supposed to drive you crazy, and if you have dreams of a quiet and tranquil house, where everything is in place, then you don't know what a home is supposed to be.
A home is a place where children are romping and breaking things and driving you crazy, and that's normal, and for that you get Gan Eden. And a woman who has tzar gidul bonim, aino roeh pnei Gehinnom, she won't even look at Gehinnom. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, she had it already!
But it's not true, because she had it with Gan Eden together. As she was wiping up what a child who was walking around with diapers left on the floor, she's doing it with love; a mother loves the chores of attending the children. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu in his kindness will consider that Gehinnom. And those who are suffering from tzar gidul bonim, aino roeh pnei Gehinnom, they won't look at Gehinnom, even from a distance, they won't pass by it. There are a lot of things; everybody will be answerable, men and women.
Therefore, nobody should think that they are going to be spared on the Yom Hadin. Just because they don't have to put on tefillin; there are things that are much more difficult than tefillin.
Good Shabbos To All
This email is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
An age-old question: should someone marry another person to whom there is a feeling of comfortableness, but lacks a special feeling toward that person?
ANSWER:
That's a question that's constantly being asked of me and others. And we have to understand that the special feeling is mostly the result of propaganda. The world has been propagandized to think that there is a certain magic moment when something happens within you, and thereby you know that this is the right person.
Now we see today that these magic moments are happening every day with different people-the same party! If you read about the careers of movie artists, today it's this one, next month it's somebody else; so these are magic moments that repeat themselves and all of them are nothing but deceptions.
What's the magic moment in buying a house? When you look at the house, does something click within you and tell you that that's the right house? Then beware, you might discover that there's no sewer there connected to the city sewers, you might discover that there is no wiring in that house, you might discover that the house is rotten through and through with termites! You can't buy a house with intuition, you need experts. You pay a couple hundred dollars and have an expert exam of the house, from the roof to the basement.
And marriage also should be based on expert opinions of others; you are certainly not the judge of whom to marry. Now if somebody else is going to give an opinion, then it's not your feelings. Of course if you feel a repulsion, then you can't marry that person.
But if you don't feel any feeling of a special objection to the other party, and all considerations are discovered to be proper, like this question proposes-families and backgrounds and tastes are similar-then it looks like an ideal opportunity. If you feel comfortable, so do it and you'll feel comfortable for the rest of your lives.
But if you married by intuition, then the day after the marriage the intuition disappears and you'll feel uncomfortable for the rest of your lives.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Why did the Almighty create a man that he should be eternally dissatisfied?
ANSWER:
For a very big purpose. The purpose is that his life shouldn't be wasted. Every creature in this world has been given instincts to carry out its purpose. You put a cow in the field of grass, the cow is not interested in delivering butter and cheese on your table, but it gets busy chewing that grass, producing milk, that's its job. The bee is not interested in supplying you with honey, or in pollinating fruits and flowers for you to enjoy; a bee has an instinct that it has to do this thing. Therefore its purpose in life is to cause the fruits to germinate and to create honey.
Every creature in this world is busy doing what it's supposed to do, and that's why the Almighty did not make them unhappy, because they are carrying out their functions.
Man's function is to produce something else. In order that he should carry out his function, he is given an instinct not to be satisfied; the instinct is to yearn for the Afterlife. Therefore he could never settle down, something will always push him to keep on trying to be better.
Now if he knows how to direct his efforts, he is fortunate. He is going to succeed, and to a very big extent he's going to gain happiness and achievement in this world. If a man will stop wandering around, he'll discover what he's for in this world, to a very big extent he is going to accomplish happiness. But this feeling will never let him rest on his achievements, he'll always strive for more and more, because he has the knowledge in him without him being taught, that this is not his end.
Now since everything in this world is purposeful, there isn't an instinct in an animal which is useless. Every fly, every bird, has an instinct that's for its benefit, or for carrying out some purpose. And this is the only instinct that we see in all of creation, in the whole universe, that has no other purpose. Except it points to a purpose that man is created not for this life. Because after a man has achieved everything, he has lived a life of accomplishment, then he has to surrender his life. So we ask where was the kindliness here? Could we have been created in a cycle like a horse, a horse doesn't think about anything and it's satisfied with his oats? He's satisfied with a stable where he can sleep, and he's happy. The goat is happy, the homeless alley cat is happy. The cat doesn't have any psychic problems, a cat does not have any psychosis, it's happy. Dogs are happy, they may be hungry but they are happy.
Mankind can be stuffed with food and stuffed with money and all luxuries, but he's not happy, and that causes insanity. Insanity in human beings is the result of this drive-I don't say always-but to a big extent it's a result of unhappiness caused by misdirected drives.
They don't know what they're looking for, and therefore they run in all directions.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Why does the Torah find it important to tell us the story about Avrohom who purchased the property from Efron, where he buried Sarah?
ANSWER:
There are a number of lessons we learn there. One lesson is that the cave of Machpelah is a monument, it's a historical testimony to the truthfulness of the Torah. When you are in Chevron and you visit that place, now you know it's venerated by the Arabs as well as by the Jews le'havdil, and always has been. The Jewish nation always knew that place, and it's a monument. Because if Sarah and Avrohom are buried in that kever, if Avrohom buried Sarah in that kever, it means there was an Avrohom and there was a Sarah. It means Avrohom came when he was a stranger to the land, and he bought this, and that's where they were buried, and therefore it's a testimonial to the Torah.
The same is with the grave of Rochel, it's very important for us. The grave of Rochel was mentioned in Bereishis, where Yaakov Avinu erected a monument on Rochel's grave, and in Sefer Shmuel it relates how Shmuel told Shaul Hamelech he's going to meet two men by the grave of Rochel. The grave of Rochel was known to Yirmiyahu Ha'navi, he says Rochel mevakeh al boneha-Rochel is weeping for her children as they were going into exile, and they pass her monument. The grave of Rochel was known to the sages in the Talmud, the grave of Rochel was known in the middle ages, the Ramban visited the grave. Binyomin of Tudila, a traveler from Spain visited the grave. Therefore when Sir Moshe Montefiore came there, he built a beautiful mausoleum over the grave, and that's evidence of our history. If there is a grave of Rochel, then there was a Yaakov Avinu too, and that means our history is corroborated, it's very important for us.
The names of the cities where these things are mentioned, Chevron is right there on the map, that's the Chevron. It's remarkable when people come to Chevron, they say, this is the Chevron where Avrohom Avinu was? Absolutely, it's the same Chevron! You mean to say this city was standing for all those centuries? All those millennia? Absolutely, nobody doubts that. Not only Chevron, there is a town called Nachor in Syria, there's a town called Tiraku, Terach, a town called Pilagu, after Peleg.
The archaeologists have discovered these old names, and these names corroborate our history.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
שמאי אומר... והוי מקבל את כל האדם בסבר פנים יפות (אבות א:טו)
Shammai says... "Greet everyone with a cheerful face"
It is known that while the disciples of Hillel personified the middah of chessed (kindness), and thus generally adopted a lenient halachic approach, the disciples of Shammai embodied the middah of din (the strict letter of the law) and consequently they assumed a strict approach. Accordingly, it is interesting to note, that out of all the Tana'im, the one to assert that a person should greet all people genially is Shammai, the patriarch of strictness. One would have thought that such a statement would be more appropriate for Hillel who was famous for his caring philosophy.
The Baalei Mussar explain that we can deduce from the mishna that the strict letter of the law requires one to greet his friend with a pleasant countenance! A person's face is public property and his expressions affect those around him. No one likes to be greeted with a sour face, and thus to do so would be a lack of proper behavior bein adam l'chaveiro. This idea was pithily summed up by Rav Yisrael Salanter.
One Erev Yom Kippur on his way to Kol Nidrei, Rav Yisrael Salanter asked someone for the time. The fear of this awesome day was evident on this fellow's face and he simply didn't respond to the query. In turn, Rav Yisrael declared, "Why am I at fault that you are a yarei Shamayim?" A person has no right to ignore another Jew because he is caught up in his own personal avodas Hashem.
The essentiality of Shammai's dictum is clear from the amount of effort that our Gedolim invested in acquiring this middah. Rav Wolbe writes that his father-in-law, Rav Avraham Grodzensky (the Mashgiach in the Slabodka Yeshiva), worked for two years on perfecting the virtue of greeting every person with a smile. He didn't have an easy life: His health wasn't good, his wife died when she was very young leaving him to tend for a family of young children, and he suffered the horrors of the Holocaust (during which he was ultimately killed). Nevertheless, he kept his pain on the inside and wore a smile on the outside.
Shammai instructs us, "Hevei mekabal es kol ha'adom b'seiver panim yafos." What does the word "b'seiver" mean? The Meiri explains that even if you are not genuinely happy to greet someone, you should put on a smile so that the person at least thinks ("soveir") that you are happy with their encounter. Even when a person experiences internal turmoil, he should still display a cheerful countenance. Rav Grodzensky personified every word of the mishna.
Moreover, a person's countenance has the ability to affect the atmosphere around him. A dejected look exudes a gloomy feeling, while a smile not only illuminates the room but also energizes those around him.
After living in Israel for a few years, an avreich contemplated moving back to America. He approached Rav Yitzchok Berkowitz Shlit"a and mentioned that he was uncertain as to where the best place is to raise his children. On one hand he felt that his American upbringing had advantages, while on the other hand he understood there are many qualities in the chinuch in Eretz Yisrael that cannot be matched anywhere else. Rav Berkowitz replied, "The best place to raise your children is where you are happy! If you are going to come home in the evening with a sour face, you're going to put a damper on everyone's mood and there is nothing worse for a child's chinuch than that!" This is a pearl of wisdom worth its weight in gold.
A practical application to help implement this idea: When arriving home at the end of a day, take a moment before entering the house to ensure that you have a smile on your face. If you have difficulty doing so after a long tough day, try eating some chocolate. It has a unique ability to put a smile on people's faces, and you might as well exploit it for the sake of shalom bayis, chinuch and proper bein adom l'chaveiro!
How could one develop the attitude of sacrifice to Hashem?
ANSWER:
One way we know is, every day when we say Krias Shma, imagine for a half-minute, or a second, as if you're being put to the test. And you're ready to do it.
So little by little, like Rabbi Akiva when he was about to be put to death and they were stripping the skin off his body-tremendous torture-and he was saying Krias Shma with joy, with happiness. His talmidim said, Rabbeinu ad kan? Even now you're able to be happy under such a distress? Not that he was wrong, but how could you attain such a great madreiga, such perfection?
So he said, kol yomei hoyisi mitztaeir al pasuk zeh (Brachos 61:2), all my life I was trying hard to get that attitude. So when I was young and healthy I was saying it with the thought someday they'll try to strip my skin, I'll love you Hashem anyhow, because I know that You are going to give me such happiness in the World to Come that will make me forget all my tribulations. I love you Hashem what you did for me, from the first day of my life until now, therefore whatever I can do for you is only in gratitude for what you have bestowed on me. And little by little a person gets into his head he's willing to do that.
By the way I want to tell you however, that of all the sacrifices that you are expected to make for Hashem, the greatest is the sacrifice of one's middos ro'os. Sacrifice your anger, sacrifice your jealousy, and sacrifice your selfishness, that's lev nishbor v'nidkeh, Elokim lo tevazeh (Tehillim51:19). Hashem will not despise a broken heart, which means broken middos.
And therefore a person who's daato shefeila, who's able to keep his mind under control, maleh ulov hakosuv k'ilu hikriv kol hakarbonos kulom (Sotah 5:); it's like he brought all the offerings. So instead of getting angry at your wife, bring an offering to Hashem and keep your mouth closed. Instead of getting angry at somebody who insulted you, keep your mouth closed; it's an offering to Hashem. Maleh ulov hakosuv k'ilu hikriv kol hakarbonos kulom, zivchei Elokim ruach nishbara, so don't worry so much about that great test. Of course your question is a good question, and we should prepare ourselves, it should never happen. But this test of our middos happens all the time, and it's very urgent for us to learn that.
And by the way, if you're thinking of getting married and you're still a young man, you better prepare yourself beforehand. Sometimes over the years that you waited, you learned to be selfish as a bachelor; you do only what you want. It makes it very difficult to get married. You think all you need is a wife, no you need more than a wife.
When you marry when you're very young, you can easily amalgamate with your wife's personality, but since you spent years alone, you're accustomed to putting all the newspapers in the corner, a pile of newspapers, a pile of magazines, you're used laundry lying around...
Now comes the boss, she starts telling you what to do, and it hurts like an acid on painful skin. Every time she criticizes you it's very difficult. You have to learn how to keep quiet, and it's a korbon; it's a sacrifice. Therefore people who want to get married have to bring these korbonos.
So therefore instead of thinking of kiddush Hashem, think about this sacrifice that you're making regularly, of shviras hamiddos, breaking the middos.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
How would we answer the claim of Arafat and the Palestinian Arabs, that the Jewish people have thrown them out of their homeland?
ANSWER:
How would you answer the claim of a man who at gunpoint drove you out of your house, and later when you come back to claim your house, he said "Look, I'm living here, it's my house now, you want to drive me out?"
We have a claim to Eretz Yisroel, and it's written, we have a charter. The Torah states openly it belongs to us, it was given to us, we lived there. The fact that we were driven out at gunpoint, at knife point, doesn't mean that we lost the rights to be here.
Now I am not saying that we are justified in taking over Eretz Yisroel, but we certainly are justified in saying that the land belongs to us. Whether we are going to do something about it or not, could be we shouldn't do anything about it, but whatever it is, there's not the slightest question that we lived there and we were driven out by force, the Romans drove us out. Therefore it's our land.
Should we now go by force and drive out the inhabitants? That's a question that I'm not going to discuss, could be not. Now Arafat was not driven out, he could live in Eretz Yisroel, nobody is stopping him. Who told him to run away because he's a mischief maker? Mischief makers will be apprehended, and may be punished, but that's no claim against the people who are willing to punish him. If he wouldn't be a mischief maker, he could live peacefully inEretz Yisroel.
Therefore there is no claim of Palestinian Arabs against the Jews.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Is the only way to feel the sweetness in water, is when it's forbidden (mayim gnuvim yimtoku - Mishlei 9:17)? Is there another way to enjoy water that's permissible?
ANSWER:
Absolutely. The truth is, the Jew who learns the secret of appreciating the gifts that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives him, that's the one who is going to gain as much happiness as this world can give. Because there is a great deal of enjoyment that's inherent in all of life, and the others who don't learn this secret are like people that have a gold mine in their backyards, but all their lives they are unaware.
There's a gold mine in life.
There's a gold mine in all the daily experiences of life, but it's a tragedy that the people don't learn to appreciate them, and therefore they can only see the pleasures that the wicked are enjoying-in their imagination, mayim gnuvim.
The truth is that the real pleasures are the pleasures that are kosher, only you have to learn that, you have to study it. Then your eyes open up, and you see that this world is a garden of happiness for those who serve Hashem truly.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
ANSWER:
Asher Zaro bo.. When you walk in the morning in the street, and you see a peach pit lying on the ground, it's enclosed in a strong case that protects it from being trampled by feet, and it protects it from being eaten. The seed doesn't taste bad, it taste like almonds, but it's too much trouble to get at, so we are meyaeish and we spit it out, and when it falls into the ground what happens to the peach pit? You know, if you take a hammer and you try to break a peach pit, many times you wouldn't succeed, but when you put that into the ground it opens up by itself; the two halves open up by themselves. Do you know how that works?
I never saw it in any book but I understand how it works; it's cemented together by a special cement, and when the cement gets into the ground, this cement between the two halves of the peach pit, the cement is dissolved by the actions of the soil bacteria. The soil bacteria are made to order for this cement and this cement is made to order for the soil bacteria. And so the Borei made the peach pit with two halves that are welded together with special cement, so you spit it out because it's too much work. The squirrels have sharp teeth but it's too much work to break that peach pit, so they let it lie on the ground. So after a while the soil bacteria gets to work on that cement and it opens up by itself in the soil. And that's why all seeds by the way, are dull colored.
You open a watermelon, the flesh is red. Why is the flesh red? It says eat me, it invites you to eat it until you get to the rind. At the rind it loses its red color, don't eat anymore, stomachache. But the flesh is red, it's red and sweet and it's luscious, and inside you'll find seeds. Seeds have no color, seeds are not begging you to eat them, they are begging to please be left alone, please don't notice me.
And if you make an attempt to bite into a watermelon seed you'll notice that it's coated with a slimy mucus and it shoots out of your mouth, that's the protection against eaters. That's why you will always find watermelon seeds under the table in the dining room. If you would have a natural dining room, watermelon would grow under your table eventually. And if you would succeed in breaking open a watermelon seed, lo and behold there's no color, it's not sweet, there is nourishment there, because it has to nourish the future plant, but there's no color.
Why is it that the flesh of the watermelon is beautifully red and sweet, whereas the flesh of the seed is not red and not sweet? Answer is, it's not for eating purposes. The Borei wants you to desist, have pity on seeds. That's why He makes orange seeds bitter, orange seeds are bitter, they're not slippery to fly out of your mouth, they're not tough like a peach pit, so Hakadosh Baruch Hu made them bitter, and because they are bitter you spit them out, and if it's the proper climate orange trees will grow as a result.
Therefore we have to marvel at that, asher zaro bo, and the Torah wants you to stop and use your eyes and think about that, study it, that's what it's for.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
How should we view those frum Jews who are ostentatious in displaying their wealth?
ANSWER:
You know the answer yourself, what is there to talk about? No good is done to the children when their parents indulge in luxuries. There is no question even a frum boy or girl is not the same, unless a wealthy father and mother insist on moderation in what the children are allowed to have. It's possible for the wealthiest of people to live with the ideals of Torah if they are aware of the issues involved. Now, the mere fact that somebody builds a wealthy home and shows off his prosperity, that's not such a tragedy. Why not? If he has the money let him do what he wants with it. But we're talking about indulging in intemperance (self-indulgence, greed).
Travel for instance, is a way of wasting money and wasting one's life. Just because people have money to go to places, doesn't mean that it's necessary for them to go. If they are looking for happiness elsewhere, they are sure to be disappointed. The true happiness is found in an idealistic home. Just to say that I need change in order to relieve my mind, is an excuse of imitating the ways of the Gentiles. When Jews learn how to enjoy the values of Judaism, going to the Beis Haknesses is an enjoyable experience; you learn how to daven with kavono, you'll love it. When you sit home and Hakadosh Baruch Hu is giving you a sumptuous supper, you thank your wife and tell her how good the supper is, compliment her, and then enjoy it. And then turn to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in birchas hamozon full of gratitude, but bentch. I used to learn with a Lubavitcher person, my Rebbe for a year when I was boy, and I used to see him bentch; it was a birchas hamozon worth remembering, his bentching took longer than his eating. The purpose of eating is to bentch!
It's so important for people to learn how to enjoy avodas Hashem. There are some people who really love to learn Torah, their happiness is learning. When they have a vacation, they don't want to go anyplace, all they want is to go to the Beis Hamedrash, shivti b'veis Hashem kol y'mei chayei, the greatest happiness really is the simchas Hatorah.
Of course all these things need sechel, and they need training, but everbody needs sechel to learn how to enjoy life, otherwise what would you do? You'll begin imitating goyim and going for entertainment. Entertainment is a Gentile attitude. There is no such word for it in the Jewish lexicon. And it means finding ways and means of wasting your life. In the meantime while you are doing it, you act as if you're enjoying it, and many times you are paying money for it too. But when people learn how to enjoy life in the simple kosher and truthful ways, they'll begin understanding that there is anentirely different way of being happy.
Even if you learn how to enjoy a walk. You enjoy looking at the sky and breathing fresh air, these are the simple pleasures that after a while they grow on you and it's worth more than all the money in the world.
And so we say to our wealthy brothers, you want to build expensive homes, why not, go ahead. Of course keep in mind that some of your money has to go to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in recognition that He gave it to you. But also keep in mind that intemperance, wasting money, and going all out for pleasures is the opposite of pleasure. When people learn how to become connoisseurs in mashke, and he has a basement full of all kinds of liquors, he has a collection of poisons. Schnapps is actually a poison. Sometimes you might need a little bit for a toothache, or for a sore throat, but when people consider it a career, and many people are able to tell the differences in tastes and in vintages, that's already an intemperance and it will never lead to anything good, it's the opposite of good health too. Any form of intemperance is a ruination for a person's mind and for a person's body.
And so to our wealthy brothers we say, take your money and invest it, and keep on becoming wealthier, Hashem should give you happiness. But always remember that the real happiness does not come from things that can be bought with money.
Good Shabbos To All
Question #54
QUESTION:
How much Hishtadlus, how much effort does one have to exert for a Shidduch?
ANSWER:
Number one: Al Zos Yispallel Kol Chosid L'eis Metzoh, for this every pious Jew has to pray, when the time comes to find. Metzoh means to find a wife. Now actually Metzoh means to find anything. If you want to find anything, any success, you have to pray. A very important ingredient in our lives is Tefilah, you have to ask Hashem. But when it comes to a wife, it's an especial requirement, because so many things are necessary in order to succeed. Not only that that person has to be willing to marry you, sometimes you’d be better off if he would be unwilling. You have to make sure that only the right one is willing to marry you. And there are so many things you have to ask for. Now since you don't know, you’re young and inexperienced, so trust Hakadosh Baruch Hu, but ask Him constantly. Before marriage you must ask constantly.
And something else: When your daughters are getting close to eighteen, get busy praying to Hashem with all your heart. VERY IMPORTANT! And if you shed a few tears, no harm. Sharei Demo'os Einon Nishlavous, the gates of tears are never locked. You need a great deal of help to get married properly, and to marry your daughters properly.
And when you say tomorrow, by the Na'nuim, Hodu La'shem, if you married off your daughters well, it wouldn't be a bad idea, make one Na'nuim for this son-in-law, Iy Yi Yah, Thank You Hashem, and for the other son-in-law, that's how to work it. It's such a very big thing that you never can thank enough for a good son-in-law or for a good daughter-in-law. And that's how you have to think when you make the Na'nuim; it shouldn't be a mechanical thing. What does the Na'nuim mean? It's our thanks are to You because it came from You to us, our thanks are to You because it comes from You to us, that's what we are saying, back and forth. And all directions, means from where it comes from, no matter where the good flow comes from, it's only coming from You all the time.
And therefore you take your backbone, that's the Lulav, that's your Shedra, and you take your heart, that's the Esrog, and you take the Hadasim, that's your eyes, and you take the Aravos, that's your lips, your mouth, and you take all of these and you say, I dedicate them to You Hashem, for what you did for me, back and forth, you should make Na'nuim.
However, this business of praying for a wife, also must be accompanied by exercising the utmost caution, ask advice. Always ask advice before you get married. Don't be hasty even if you have the right girl, take your time, ask somebody, and when that person approves, go ahead, B'hatzlacha.
Question #154
QUESTION:
What is the meaning of shaking the lulav in all different directions?
ANSWER:
There are a number of meanings. One is, the same as when we say krias shma, shma yisroel...Hashem echod, You are one, north, south, east, west, above and below, in all directions there is nobody but You! So we point the lulav in all directions exactly for the same significance, Hashem echod! That's what the lulav says.
Another significance is, the holucha and havoua, the lulav first goes out towards Hashem and comes back to us. Which means, we serve You, we thank You, we express our appreciation to You, and You bestow Your bounty on us; it comes back to us.
And so, as the person makes the nanuim and he recognizes that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the melech, is in power everywhere, so as a result, Hakadosh Baruch Hu bestows upon him the results of recognizing His power.
Question #203
QUESTION:
What's the significance Hoshana Raba of knocking on the earth? By the way, you don't have to knock off the leaves; you just have to tap the ground with the hoshanos.
ANSWER:
The significance is this: there are a number of different kinds of prayers. There's a prayer in your thought, even without saying words, that's called bina haggigi - Dovid said, understand my thought, he said to Hashem. Sometimes a person is lying very ill, chalila, he can't even speak - but he can pray in his heart to Hashem, that's one way of tefila. Another way of tefila is with the mouth, means - not l’afukei, not to think in your heart, oh no, that's not called tefila, that's called davening. Davening is not praying, that's just to get over with it. No. When you pray with your heart and you say it with your mouth, that's another madraiga of tefila.
There's another madraiga of tefila called maaseh, doing certain deeds, and there are a number of these. One is hakofos, going around, like Yehosua went around with his people for seven days around Yericho, that was a tefila, and that's when Yericho finally collapsed, the walls collapsed. That's why we make hakofos, we go around with the arba minim, and on Simchas Torah, it's a tefila. So next time you go around don't think it's just a ceremony, it's a way of praying to Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
Now, knocking on the ground is a maaseh of tefila, because the ground is from where our source of food is. We pray to Hakodosh Baruch Hu, He should bless the ground with rain, and we take the arovos - the arovos need water, they grow by water; they need a lot of water. So they are just like we are, they need water like we need water, it's a symbol of the great need for water. We take this plant that needs water and we tap the ground and we say, Hakadosh Baruch Hu have mercy on us like You have to have mercy on the arovos, and see that water is given to the earth that it should yield its abundance. It's a tefila for parnoso, a tefila for rain. Actuality it's a tefila for life, because if you don't have these wherewithal's that make life possible you don't have anything.
Im ein kemach ein Torah, therefore it's a tefila for everything.
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
How do you explain the ma'mar that a baal teshuva, zedonos na'asos k'zechuyos?
ANSWER:
Everyone knows that b'mokom sh'balei teshuva omdim ein tzadikim gemurim yecholim la'amod, a place where a baal teshuva stands, a tzadik gamur is not worthy to stand in the same place.
Now pay attention however! If the tzadik gamur and the baal teshuva together are right now on the same degree, same madreiga of perfection, realize that the baal teshuva had to fight against his training. He had to fight against his past, so l'fum tzara agra, it was difficult for him to become what he is today. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, all the troubles that you had once, the wrong environment, it all becomes like a zechus, because you overcame it, you've fought against it.
Therefore if the tzadik gamur is no better than you are, he got it the easy way, he was brought up that way, he got kavod by being a nice boy, kavod for being a nice yeshiva man, or a nice girl, and therefore it came easier for him, although he has a big zechus too, but the zechus of the baal teshuva is greater.
But suppose the tzadik gamur is more than the baal teshuva; even after he did teshuva, the baal teshuva is not as big as the tzadik gamur, then the tzadik gamur is superior, no question about that.
So always try to be a tzadik gamur, and be beyond what the baal teshuva has accomplished.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
How can teshuva accomplish forgiveness, if a picture of a man sins will always be portrayed to him?
ANSWER:
If a man in the world to come will see a picture of his former sins, but the picture has also a legend underneath it that says, this man overcame his propensities, and he did full teshuva, then that picture becomes a commendation for him, that's a praise for him, that's zedonos naso lo k'zechuyois, his sins become like merits. Because the fact that he was misgabeir al yitzro, overcame his inclination and he changed himself, that's full credit for him.
Now if a person's zdonos, his sins become zechuyois, he shows that he doesn't want to have that forgotten. But suppose a person didn't do full teshuva, only a miktsas teshuva, then the fact that the sins remain forever and and ever is part of the deduction from his reward in the afterlife. Certainly not all people have the same happiness, and some will continually be reminded of their mistakes that they never remedied while they were still in this world, and they will always regret it.
There is so much happiness however in the next world, there will still be a happy existence, but they will be less happy than those who are able to wipe out the impression of their sins by doing a full teshuva.
Good Shabbos and a kesiva v'chasima tova To All
Question # 151
QUESTION:
What are some good topics for sermons to give to people at a nursing home on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur?
ANSWER:If they would allow me to come into a nursing home and talk, I would wait until they come to the lunch hour when they give watermelon to everybody. And I would say, “Old people wake up: before you sink your teeth, or your false teeth, in that luscious watermelon, stop and enjoy the color! Isn't that a beautiful color! Why should it be red? It could have been a pale white color.
“The beautiful color symbolizes the chesed Hashem, the kindness of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Before He served it to you, He squirted some color into the watermelon to make you more happy. While you're eating the watermelon, study the seeds. Why are the seeds so slippery? Because if you'll eat the watermelon in the garden outside of the nursing home, the seeds will fall on the ground and next year watermelon plants will be growing. Wake up old people before your time is up! (Of course I wouldn't say it, but I should say it) and shout, Baruch ato Hashem elokienu melech haolam borei pri ha'adomo, You Creator of this luscious fruit of the earth. And demonstrate your gratitude to Him for the gift that He is bestowing on you.”
When your mother makes red ice cream and she slices it and serves it on paper plates, Hakadosh Baruch Hu also makes a red watermelon and slices it and puts it on plates for you and it's even more healthful and it's more luscious than the ice cream. You have to know that's it's nothing but a big drink, a flavored drink, but it doesn't spill out when you cut it open because all the liquid is imprisoned in thousands of tiny cells. It's a marvel of the watermelon. Suppose it was a bottle full of watermelon juice and you cut it open, it would all spill out, but now it's imprisoned in little cells and as you chew and rupture the cells the appetizing juice squirts into your mouth and you're able to have a feel of crunching down into something solid.
That's how I would make the old people happy with eating watermelon, and at the same time they would see the yad Hashem and the wonders of the borei. That's a wonderful sermon to give on Rosh Hashana to old people in a nursing home.
Question # 152
QUESTION:
How should a mother and housewife get the feeling of the approaching yomin noraim, if she's so busy with the preparations for gashmius? That's a good question. A women in the kitchen, she is busy preparing, cooking and baking; so how can she prepare?
ANSWER:
If she would think at the time that she is doing these things, “what's the purpose of all her work”? She is doing this as a kindliness to the people of her family. Why is she practicing kindliness to her family? Just because mothers do it everywhere.In Bensonhurst an Italian mother is also cooking and baking for her family! And in Bedford Stuyvesant a black mother is also doing the same, so what difference is there?
No: a frum, a Torah mother is doing it only because she is emulating Hakadosh Baruch Hu. That's how we have to learn that great function of chesed that a Jewish mother and a wife performs. She is the symbol of kindliness to her husband and to her children, that's her chief function in life. But she does it not like others do; she does it in emulation of the Creator. Just as the Creator makes winds blow and causes rain to fall and he spreads a table before all mankind and He feeds them, po’seiach es yo’decho, so when she brings the food to the table finally, she should feel that she is the hand of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Nosain lechem lechol bosor, He gives bread to all flesh, ki l'olam chasdo! And she feels that her life is a dedication to Hashem, she is following in His footsteps.
That's the gemora, the gemora says, ma hu chanun af ato chanun. Just like Hakadosh Baruch Hu is merciful, so you, and v'halacto b'drachuv. And therefore it's a great pity if you don't know this, so it means that you're just imitating the nations of the world. The same is for a doctor. If a doctor realizes that Hakadosh Baruch Hu isrofei cholei amo yisroel, and the doctor as he dispenses advice and medicines thinks, “I am doing the agency, I am a shaliach for Hakadosh Baruch Hu”, that's one of the noblest missions in life. Isn't it a tragedy that people live their lives and do great things and forget that their chief function in life is to emulate Hakadosh Baruch Hu?
And even a teacher of children, he teaches because of his check. If he would think, ha’melameid Torah l'amo yisroel, just like Hakadosh Baruch Hu teaches Torah to His people, I am his agent in teaching Torah to His children. Of course he has to get a check, and unfortunately he doesn't get it frequently enough and it's not big enough when he does get it, and yet it's a pity if he lives without this intent.
Everybody: if you're a butcher and you hand the meat across the counter, think that thought. You're a grocer, think that thought. Whatever you do in services to people, think that you're standing in the place of Hakadosh Baruch Hu and you're doing His agency. And that's how a Jewish mother can become great, she can even become greater than her husband if she'll live this way, because she's practicing these things that are kulo chesed, and she'll come to learn to be aware and realize, that's what Hakadosh Baruch Hu does in this world.
Question # 153
QUESTION:
If a person is still continuing to do aveiros, is there any sense in doing teshuva?
ANSWER:
Absolutely! And he should ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu for help that he should stop. I'll explain that. When a person does an aveiro and he's happy with it, then it's a much greater sin. If a person does an aveiro, but he is ashamed and he's sorry that he's doing it, it's subtracted from his punishment. Yes, even though he still does it.
The Chofetz Chaim, zichrono l'ivrocha, wrote a sefer for Jewish soldiers. In those days when they were drafted into the Russian army they had to eat treifa foods. So he said, “If you must eat treifa food then don't suck the juice out of the bones.” Which means, don't show that you enjoy it. You're only eating it to save your life from starving. And so when a person does a chet, a sin, even a big chet, a mechalel shabbos, but he's sorry he was mechalel shabbos, it's already a madreiga. To be sorry is a madreiga, you have achieved something. Of course it's not teshuva sheleima, very far from it, but it's a very big thing. Haoseh aveiro umisbayeish bo, he's ashamed, it's a very big thing.
And therefore it pays even for sinners to ask Hashem to forgive them. Only they should add, “…and please Hashem help me that I should make a real perfect teshuva.”
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
What's meant by the statement in the Gemara, that for everything that a man sees and he didn't utilize to have pleasure, he's going to give in the future an account why he didn't utilize it to have pleasure?
ANSWER:
Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave us all the phenomena of life, in order to have some benefit from them. Therefore if a man enjoys them… let's say you take this fig that we were talking about, and after studying it you sample it too! So the lesson of the fig is going to be doubly impressed on your mind. We won't talk about figs we'll talk about apples which are more frequent. You study an apple and you see that it's wrapped in a waterproof wrapper, and beautifully colored, and you study it. And after studying the apple, you study the seeds in the apple, and all these lessons are impressed on your mind, and you're munching the apple at the same time, it's much more fun and you appreciate this lesson much more.
It's like studying in a sefer that's written on a delicious biscuit. While you're learning the Gemara you're munching on the margins, you will surely appreciate it more, it's a geshmaka suyga, it's a pleasurable study. That's why Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave us pleasure, because pleasure makes iteasier to appreciate the great lessons.
That's what it means; all the things that he saw and lo nehene, he didn't utilize-it doesn't mean that when you pass a pastry store you have to buy all the cakes, loaded down with sugar and fats and syrups-even one cake you cannot eat, so that means you are going to give an account because you didn't eat all the cakes and all the candies?
It means that when you pass by and see all the beautiful cakes and beautiful candies, and beautiful fruits, you should see them and have hano'oh from them. Doesn't mean that you have to eat them, you have to have hano'oh. If you didn't have hano'oh from them and appreciate what Hakadosh Baruch Hu is doing for mankind including you, because you could also buy it if you wished. So you are losing the opportunity and osid litein es hadin. That's why it says sichu b'chol niflaosov, talk about all the wonders that you see in this world, there's a lot of work to be done. You have to talk about the beautifulcolors of fruits, and the beautiful taste of fruits.
Doesn't mean you have to taste them yourself, but if you don't utilize it, so you're not utilizing the world.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
הוא היה אומר "נגיד שמא אבד שמיה, ודלא מוסיף יסיף, ודלא יליף קטלא חייב, ודאשתמש בתגא חלף" (אבות א:יג)
He (Hillel) used to say, "He who seeks renown loses his reputation, he who does not increase his Torah learning decreases, he who refuses to learn deserves death and he who utilizes the crown of Torah shall fade away"
Rav Yaakov Reischer, in his sefer Iyun Yaakov, makes an interesting observation. All four pearls of wisdom mentioned in this mishna describe a specific aspiration and the consequential opposite result achieved by he who pursues that aspiration:
A person who wishes to gain fame, will end up even losing his past honorable reputation. He who refrains from increasing his Torah study and instead sleeps (more than needed) to maintain a robust body and allow himself to live for many years, actually will lead to his death. The person who does not want to learn for fear that "Torah weakens a man's strength" (Sanhedrin 26b) deserves death since the Torah is "Your very life and the length of your days" (Devarim 30:20). Finally, one who utilizes the Torah as a "crown" and a means of obtaining sustenance will ultimately fade away from the world.
This remarkable phenomenon is not limited to the matters discussed in this mishna. Chazal tell us that he who loves money will never be satisfied with what he has. If he has a hundred dollars he will desire two hundred dollars and when he acquires two hundred he'll crave to acquire four hundred. In a similar vein, the Gemara (Sukkah 52b) informs us regarding ta'avah, that satisfying one's craving will cause him to "starve" for the desire, while "starving" the desire actually satisfies it. Is there any rationale to why all these concepts seem to work counter intuitively?
Rav Dessler (Michtav Mei'Eliyahu vol. 4 p. 241) explains that Hashem created the nature of ta'avah in a way that starving it brings a feeling of satiation to inform us that ta'avah has no permanence. The desire is only a fantasy and, in contrast to hunger for food which is a reality, if you ignore the ta'avah the desire will simply go away. On the other hand, capitulating to the yetzer hara not only doesn't satisfy the desire, it actually increases it. It would seem that the same applies for the rest of the aforementioned ideas. Hashem created the world in a manner that conveys to us what is really important in life. Persistent pursuit of wealth, honor or desire never leads to contentment. Likewise, refraining from Torah study does not aid one to achieve his goals.
This incredible nature of the world is also evident from the unique positive phenomena mentioned by Chazal. The Gemara (Eiruvin 13a) tells us that he who flees from honor, honor will run after him. Additionally, true "riches" and contentment is the lot of the man who is happy with what he has and refrains from the pursuit of wealth.
Furthermore, Rav Wolbe points out that by acting selflessly one only stands to gain. When Moshe was appointed as the redeemer of Bnei Yisrael, Aharon not only didn't complain, rather he felt true happiness in his heart for his younger brother. For this act of selflessness he merited to become the Kohein Gadol and to wear the choshen on his heart. Similarly, the Jewish officers in Mitzrayim bared their backs to the whip to save their brethren from being hit, and their selflessness awarded each of them with a coveted position on the Sanhedrin.
Finally, Chazal assert (Kesubos 66b) that if one wants to ensure the continuity of his wealth, he should dispense of his money i.e. give freely to tzedakah. Although he is giving, in truth he is gaining.
A practical application to help implement this idea: During the month of Elul, when we are all looking for added merits, each day give up some of your valuable time to perform an extra mitzvah. It could be an added tefillah, five more minutes of Torah learning or a chessed. One never loses out from performing a mitzvah and anything that might indicate otherwise is merely an illusion.
At what age does a girl have the authority to plan her life and do what she wishes, without her parents' approval?
ANSWER:
So why only a girl, same is with a boy? The answer is, it starts at the age of one day. At one day you are responsible for yourself. Of course you are not able to do much, but you see if a child is wet, and the mother hears that the child is crying out, and the mother says I'm busy now, the child doesn't listen to the mother, he keeps on weeping, he makes a fuss, he's wet, and finally the mother comes running to change the diapers.
So we see that everybody has a responsibility of taking care of himself or herself as soon as possible. However, to take the parents' instructions into consideration is essential not only up to a certain age, up to the time that your parents leave the world.
If the parents are Torah parents, and they are capable of guidance, then you should always listen to them. If they are not capable, if they are anti-Torah, then you should never listen to them. So there is no age boundary at all.
You should ask, at what age should a person stop listening to his Rebbe, to his mentor, to his counselor? There is no age, all his life he should listen... teshua b'rov yoeitz, there is a salvation in having sufficient counsel.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Since Hashem is in charge of everything, and if a Jew is a victim of crime, is it proper to say that it is Hashem's will?
ANSWER:
It's proper to say everything is Hashem's will, but it doesn't mean you have to take it lying down. Like a person that gets a headache, it's Hashem's will, but it's Hashem's will also he should get up and take an aspirin. Certainly he has to heal himself, vrapei yerapei.
And the aspirin to criminals is, to kick out all the liberal judges and put in tough judges. To reinstate capital punishment, and to make youthful felons responsible as if they were adult criminals: that's aspirin.
Certainly everything happens by Hashem's decree, anybody that's a victim, it's done by Hashem. So what about it? We shouldn't take it supinely, lying down and yielding, we have to fight back, because that's also what Hashem wants us to do.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Important Numbers
