As we have now left the seven-day period of Tashlumin after Shavuos, we should in all events take with us a revitalized Birchas HaTorah every morning. We should especially appreciate the words “V’Haarev Nah”--Hashem, please sweeten the words of Torah in our mouth, realizing that oh so few people in the world have the pleasure and opportunity to experience the incomparable, Heaven-sweetened honey of Torah. Additionally, we can focus on the words “HaMelamed Torah L’Amo Yisroel--that Hashem is a Melamed, a teacher of Torah to His people.” We should think about how we can act like Hashem, by sharing words of Torah with others around us, including those less fortunate with little or no Torah education of their own.
HaRav Matisyahu Salomon, Shlita, tells the story of how an American student in the Ponevezh Yeshiva, as a gesture of thanks to his Mashgiach, HaRav Yechezkel Levenstein, Z’tl, brought him and the Rebbetzin a new invention, a food processor, from America.
The Rebbetzin was initially perturbed, for she had a large, clumsy box, with something of obvious value inside, but she did not know what to do with it at all. HaRav Levenstein thereupon asked the American student to come over and translate the instructions to the machine for them. After hearing how to use the machine, and all that she could now do, the Rebbetzin was elated. She now possessed something which would really help her--and others as well.
The next day, HaRav Levenstein brought the food processor into the Yeshiva, and gave a Shmuz on the great lesson one could derive from it. Life could be viewed as a large, clumsy box, with something obviously valuable inside. However, without the proper instructions and directions it could cause a person more pain than pleasure (that is why so many people walk around depressed). If, on the other hand, one possesses and uses the instruction booklet for guidance and direction--i.e., the Torah--then he can truly produce a whole party--for himself and others--out of the one special and potent machine.
In last week’s Parsha, B’Haalosicha, the Torah concludes with the story of Miriam relating to Aharon her issue with Moshe Rabbeinu’s relationship with his wife, Tzipora. Miriam then suffers from Tzoraas, and millions of people wait for her for seven days until she is healed.
The Sefer Chofetz Chaim (Asei 1), notes at least ten defenses and strong mitigating factors in Miriam’s situation, but concludes that none alone, nor even all together, could save her--and Bnei Yisroel--from their difficult punishment. The defenses and mitigating factors, which we may all be familiar with, but nevertheless must be constantly reviewed, include: 1. Moshe was her younger brother; 2. She loved him dearly; 3. She actually raised him; 4. She endangered her life waiting to see what would happen to him as a baby at the Nile River, and spoke to Paroh’s daughter as to how he could best be saved and raised; 5. When speaking of him, it was not in a degrading fashion, as she simply compared him to all other Neviim (including herself and Aharon); 6. She did not speak in front of him to embarrass him, nor did she speak about him in public; 7. Instead, she spoke to her Holy brother, the Kohen Gadol, privately; 8. Moshe Rabbeinu was not makpid--i.e., he did not care; 9. Her intention was for Kinas HaEmes--for the sake of what was proper; and 10. Likewise, her intention was for Binyan HaOlam--for Moshe Rabbeinu to have more children.
The Chofetz Chaim concludes that it is for this reason that we have a Mitzvas Asei of the Torah to remember what happened to Miriam--in order to remind ourselves to do our utmost to avoid and greatly distance ourselves from the far baser acts of Loshon Hora which involve no such justifications or defenses.
It is especially important for us to recognize **and apply**this great lesson now, as the Torah immediately continues in this week’s Parsha with our nation sadly failing to learn from Miriam’s experience, which resulted in the catastrophe of the Meraglim and its effect on Bnei Yisroel for all time.
There is an especially moving S’forno (Bamidbar 1:2) who writes that not only did the Jewish people suffer from the sin of the Meraglim, but that the Canaanim, who were the then inhabitants of Eretz Yisroel, suffered immensely as well--for if Bnei Yisroel would not have sinned at that time, they would have entered the land immediately, and the Canaanim would simply have been chased out, as their sins had not yet reached the level for which they deserved death. As a result of the 40-year delay, their sins continued to accrue and compound, and, as a result by the time of Bnei Yisroel’s arrival, they (except for the Girgashi) all deserved to be killed. Because they were killed, all of their future generations were never born into the world. Thus, the S’forno concludes, Loshon Hora destroys not only the lives of those immediately involved, but by its very nature, destroys the world. Similarly, the S’forno writes, because the Bais HaMikdash was destroyed as a result of Loshon Hora, the entire world fell spiritually, and continues to exist in a spiritually-bereft state.
There is one additional, important and very beneficial point we can make. The Chofetz Chaim writes that if one has spoken Loshon Hora, and the Loshon Hora has been accepted, then the speaker must ask forgiveness from whom he has spoken about (i.e., the victim) in order to do Teshuva. HOWEVER, if the person listening does not accept, and in fact, rejects, the words of Loshon Hora, then the words have had no damaging effect, and the sin remains one of Bain Odom L’Makom, so that the Teshuva process need not include the embarrassment of asking a victim of Loshon Hora for forgiveness (see Sefer Chofetz Chaim, Hilchos Loshon Hora 4:12). It behooves us, then, to always be on the alert not to be Mekabel--not to accept, and in fact, reject--Loshon Hora so that you not only avoid hurting the victim, but actually eventually help the former culprit in his Teshuva process as well!
The Ramchal states (Derech HaShem 1:1), "Every member of the People of
Israel must believe and know that there is a First Being, Who preceded creation
and Who is eternal. He brought all things into existence and continues to
sustain them. This being is HaShem, may He be blessed."
Since HaShem is
the Creator, we would assume that every nation and every person must recognize
that there is First Being. If so, why did the Ramchal specifically state, "Every
member of the People of Israel must believe and know that there is a First
Being"? In addition, he wrote that we must "believe and know that there is a
First Being." Doesn’t the knowledge of Hashem come before belief? That is, how
can we believe in HaShem before we know of Him?
The Ramchal answers
these questions in the next paragraph, "These things are known by teachings
transmitted from the Patriarchs and Prophets. The entire Nation of Israel
perceived the Presence of HaShem at the revelation of Mount Sinai, and attained
a clear grasp of these truths. They taught these truths to their children,
generation after generation, until this very day. In this light, Moses Rabenu
commanded them (Devarim 4:9), ’You shall not forget the things that you saw with
your own eyes - and you shall make them known to your children and to your
children’s children.’’
The faith in HaShem of the People of Israel is
founded upon our living experience of "Knowing HaShem" at Mount Sinai. At that
time, we heard Him speak and perceived His awesome and holy Presence. Every
fiber in our being recognized that HaShem is the Creator, Sustainer, and King of
the Universe.
How fortunate we are! While other nations try to
understand the existence of HaShem through rational proofs, the truth of
HaShem’s existence is etched - eternally - within the depths of our hearts and
souls.
TODAY: Discover the holy place in your soul that experienced
HaShem at Mount
Sinai.
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Wednesday June 18 Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud
Lesson 1 - In response to your questions...
Question: Are we allowed to make fun/talk negatively about a
city?
Answer (part a.) - It is considered lashon hora to talk
negatively about Israel (cities, the country, or the people) like saying "those
israeli’s"... or those Drivers in ...or anything like that. With regards to
other cities (including Israeli ones) the laws of lashon hora apply - so it
would depend on your purpose of doing it and the method you do it in. For
example, if you need to warn a friend to not move to a particular city to
prevent that family from financial, emotional, spiritual harm... then the rules
of speaking lashon hora for a constructive purpose apply. So, maybe dont say
that "this city sucks don’t move there" but rather suggest without specifying
derogatory information that it may not be the place for them. Another example,
if your friend has panic attacks by being in crowded places, maybe suggest that
going to a certain populated area may not be the best thing for their health and
that another place may be more calm or suited to their needs.
Lesson 2
If a group of people has not begun speaking
lashon hora, but you know that its members constantly belittle others, you
should not associate yourself with that group.
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon
Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that
is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a
derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to
Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or
child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of
Jews, Entire Jewish Nation
June 16, 2008 Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
We are in a world filled with stress, anger
and derision, all of which continually, powerfully pull in the opposite
direction. The chofetz chaim whose life was a testimony to the enormous positive
power of shmirat halashon, said that the daily study of these halachot is the
best way to succeed in this mitzvah. Not only does such study fortify one with
knowledge, it rewards us with the Heavenly assistance we need to put our
learning into practice.
Lesson 2
When you are around people who are speaking
lashon hora, and you feel that they wont listen to you tell them to stop, you
are still required to speak to them about it. Silence - can be construed as
approval. So therefore, try to defend the victim even if you feel your efforts
will be fruitless.
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon
Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that
is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a
derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to
Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or
child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of
Jews, Entire Jewish Nation
Since listening to lashon hora is forbidden, what should we do if someone wants to tell us derogatory information? Maybe it will be necessary information that we need to know to protect ourselves from a possible loss? So... Ask the person if the information s/he wants to tell is necessary for a practical beneficial purpose (i.e. to prevent you from being cheated). If the answer is Yes. Then we are permitted to listen to it. However, the information cannot be accepted as truth - only used so we can take precautions.
Lesson 2
If it is apparent that you will not derive any practical benefit from what the person plans to tell you (even if the speaker claims you will), you are forbidden to listen. In many instances, a speaker won’t say that "No, the information isnt necessary." Therefore, be careful to read between the lines and be sure what you are hearing is really for a constructive beneficial purpose.
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews, Entire Jewish Nation
As mentioned, it is considered lashon hora when we speak negatively of any sect/group of Jews. This includes saying things like "sfardim always..." or "oh those lubavitchers..." or "wow the Jews from that area are so..." This is something to be really careful about.
Lesson 2
The mere listening to lashon hora, even without believing it, is very harmful because it encourages the speaker to continue relating derogatory information.
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews, Entire Jewish Nation
Towards the end of the parsha, the Torah marks off two pasukim; placing an inverted nun before and after them. Rashi explains that this was done in order to separate between two different calamities which befell Bnei Yisroel. The Ramban elaborates that the first calamity occurred when Bnei Yisroel traveled from Har Sinai and joyfully took leave "like a child running away from school." He explains that it is possible that this incident was termed a calamity because had they not sinned, Hashem would have brought them into Eretz Yisroel immediately.
Rav Wolbe writes (Alei Shur vol. II pgs. 629, 630) that in order to comprehend the sins related in the Torah we must elevate ourselves above our personal madreiga instead of bringing these events down to our level. If we could have asked anyone who experienced MatanTorah what they felt about leaving Har Sinai, we could be sure that they all would have answered that after experiencing Divine revelation and spiritual elevation it really was a shame that they had to leave so soon. These parshios describe the extent of the psychological perception divulged by the Torah. There is no way that the "Generation of Knowledge", or even the prophets who lived in their midst, were conscious of these thoughts. Nevertheless, Hashem, Who probes the recesses of a man’s heart, found them at fault for feeling deep down, "Okay, it’s time to move on."
If we contemplate our situation after Yom Kippur, we might gain insight into the sins transgressed by the lofty generation of people who left Egypt. Is the dancing after Yom Kippur an expression of joy for achieving forgiveness, or is it a manifestation of the desire to throw off the yoke of the holiest day? Do the meal, the brachos and the ensuing conversation that follow the fast, reflect the holiness that permeated the day, or is it once again a demonstration of throwing off the yoke of Yom Kippur? Why is it that specifically after a day that is spiritual in its entirety, does one feel the need to "throw off the yoke"? The reason is that it is difficult to remain in a state of spiritual intensity for an extended period of time.
When Bnei Yisroel complained, "Who will feed us meat? We remember the fish that we ate in Mitzrayim for free; the gourds and melons…and now our souls are dry for there is nothing besides the manna" (Bamidbar 11, 4-5) they were not merely griping about a lack of vegetables. It was an expression of their desire to "step down" from the elevated level of those who ate only purely spiritual food. Similarly, when Bnei Yisroel left Har Sinai, they subconsciously desired to free themselves from a constant state of loftiness. The Torah states (ibid. 11, 20), "For you have become disgusted with Hashem" and Rashi explains, "If I had not planted My Shechina in your midst, you would not have become haughty to act this way."
The sins of that generation were caused by Hashem’s Shechina dwelling amongst them and are not comparable to the sins of those living today. Moreover, they were not even conscious of those thoughts that the Torah terms as sins, while we are very familiar with our feelings about "too much" spirituality. After spending the entire night of Shavuos studying the Torah, did we walk home feeling elated that we were given the key to a purposeful existence, or did we feel that we fulfilled our duty and could now take a break for a while?
This dvarTorah was compiled by the family of the Mashgiach Harav Shlomo ben R’ Moshe z"l, l’iluynishmaso
The Torah forbids us from listening to lashon hora, even if we dont intend to believe what is spoken.
Lesson 2
Sometimes, even when you avoid lashon hora, you hear it against your will. If you inadvertently hear it, you are forbidden to believe it to be true. Your mental image of the person spoken about should not be altered in the slightest.
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews, Entire Jewish Nation
Today is the first day of the “Shloshes Yemei Hagbala”--the three-day preparatory period before Shavuos in which we surrounded Har Sinai to begin to appreciate and inculcate within us the enormity of the Event we were about to experience. We celebrate this very same period today. Just as the days before Pesach and before Sukkos are full of their particular Pre-Yom Tov preparations, and the days before Rosh Hashana and then Yom Kippur have their special meaning, so too do we have the three designated days prior to Shavuos to “surround the mountain”, in order to ensure that when Shavuos arrives, we will absorb the Event in all of its holiness and meaning.
Indeed, Chazal (Shabbos 129B) teach that it is prohibited to be “makiz dam”--to let blood for healing purposes, on Erev Shavuos, lest the person put himself in sakana--in danger, by letting blood while not having properly prepared for his receiving of the Torah on Shavuos. This is by no means homiletics. The Rema in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chayim (468:10) brings this Chazal l’halacha--and the Mishneh Berurah there even explains that it is forbidden to let blood on every Erev Yom Tov, so that he does not forget and let blood on Erev Shavuos. (See Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 4:109 for a further discussion.) While today we may not let blood as a matter of course, the importance that even the halacha attaches to proper preparation of each and every one of us to receive the Torah on Shavuos is self-evident.
So what are we really to do? We could try to review the 48 ways to acquire the Torah found in the last chapter of Pirkei Avos (6:6), and select at least one way to work on an ongoing basis. HaRav Shmuel Berenbaum, Z’tl, suggests the following, as well: Work on the honor due to Torah study. He explains that the reason the Torah was given “B’Kolos U’Verokim”--with loud noise and thunder--is to forever instill within us the attitude and approach that one should not learn Torah with his face leaning on his elbow, or slouched over, head back, Sefer on lap... you get the picture(s). This could be a very significant Kabbala--resolution, for a person to monumentally increase the quality of his Torah study.
Over the next three days, let us remember that we too will be receiving the Torah this Shavuos. Let us take the time to count ourselves in!
The following Halachos were reviewed by HaRav Yisroel Belsky, Shlita:
1. The Crock Pot’s Blech. The commonly-accepted practice is that one places a piece of aluminum foil on top of the heating element of the crock pot to serve as a blech between the heating element and the pot itself. This foil extends over the temperature dial to ensure that the dial will not be adjusted on Shabbos. We note that the dial should be adjusted to the appropriate setting (typically between two and three) before the aluminum foil blech is inserted--otherwise, if the setting is adjusted after the foil is put on, the blech is clearly not preventing you from adjusting the dial! (Shmiras Shabbos K’Hilchasa, Chapter 1, footnote 185).
2. The Light of Havdala. When making Havdala, we also make a special brocha of thanks to Hashem for providing us with light. This brocha, borei meorei haesh, is made Motzei Shabbos only, since this is when Odom HaRishon discovered fire (Pesachim 53B). One cannot make this brocha (or be yotzeh with the person making Havdala) unless he or she is actually close enough to the ner Havdala to be able to distinguish between two coins, such as an American nickel and a Canadian nickel. The equivalent of this is to be able to distinguish between the fingernails of one’s hand and the skin on the palm and on the fingers, using only the light of the ner Havdala (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 298:4).
Accordingly, family members should take care not to stand at the other end of the room from the Havdala candle, but rather close to it, when the person making Havdala recites the borei meorei haesh. As to how you should actually demonstrate your benefit from the ner, entitling you to make a brocha, see ibid. 298:3.
Note: Generally, only the person making Havdala should make the brocha over the besomim and the ner, even though all others smell the besomim and benefit from the ner (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 297, Mishne Berurah seif katan 13).
Regarding Avrohom Avinu the Torah tells us, "And he observed My safeguards, My mitzvos, My edicts and My Torahs" (Bereishis 26, 5). Rashi explains; "And he observed My safeguards - the Rabbinic commandments that were established to distance one from transgressing a Torah commandment. My Mitzvos - those things that are appropriate to be commandments even had they not been written. My edicts - things with which the yetzer hara and the nations take issue such as not eating pig and not wearing shatnez. And My Torahs - This includes the Oral Torah and those halachos that were transmitted to Moshe at Sinai."
The Medrash comments on the above pasuk, "From where did Avrohom learn Torah? Reb Shimon says his two kidneys acted as two pitchers of water that gushed forth Torah. Reb Levi says from within himself he learned the Torah. Reb Yehonson says he even knew the [Rabbinic] mitzvah of eiruv tavshilin." It seems that Avrohom Avinu not only fulfilled the written Torah but also knew the entire Oral Torah. If Avrohom already possessed the entire Torah, why did Hashem need to arrange a Kabbalos HaTorah for his descendants a few generations later?
Rav Wolbe (Da’as Shlomo pgs. 117, 118) answers this question with the Ramban’s explanation of this pasuk: "It appears to me that Avrahom Avinu learned the entire Torah through divine prophecy and he toiled to understand the Torah, its secrets and the reasons behind the mitzvos. He observed the entire Torah as one who was not commanded but nevertheless wished to comply." Avrohom’s comprehension and subsequent fulfillment of the Torah came from the knowledge he received through his prophecy and not because he was so instructed via a Heavenly commandment. The essential aspect of the "Giving of the Torah" was in order to transform the Jewish People into a nation that would be from then on "commanded to perform."
What is the significance of being specifically commanded to perform the mitzvos? The Kuzari (2, 50) teaches us that Hashem’s commanding us to perform His mitzvos is comparable to His inviting us into His residence and dine at His table. Rav Wolbe explains that the performance of mitzvos can form a bond with the Creator so intimate that we should look upon each commandment as a personal invitation - so to speak - to enter Hashem’s abode and dine with Him. Each commandment from Hashem manifests his special love for us.
As we approach the Yom Tov of the "Giving of the Torah" we should be aware of the awesome present we have received. We were given six hundred and thirteen invitations and opportunities to connect with the Creator of the world. Could we ask for more?
We are not allowed to say that someone is poor. This could create difficulties should the person want to buy on credit or obtain a loan. ** This law of course depends on the circumstances. For example, at times it may be the exact opposite - it may be lashon hora to say that someone is not poor; for example, about a poor person collecting money.
Lesson 2
Lashon Hora is relative. A statement may be complimentary if said about one person, yet negative when said about someone else. Whether or not the statement constitutes lashon hora depends on the person being spoken about. We cannot excuse it by saying "I wouldn’t mind if someone said that about me" or "I would have done the same thing myself". If what you say will be considered derogatory to the person being spoken about, it constitutes lashon hora.
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews, Entire Jewish Nation
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud - Monday June 2nd
Lesson 1
The more people learn the laws of shmirat halashon(guarding our speech), the more we get upset or anxious that we will have nothing to talk about anymore with friends or family because it seems that everythign is lashon hora. The Chofetz Chaim tells us that this is not true. The chafetz chaim himself was a great conversationalist. One can have pleasant deep intellectual lively conversations while abiding by the laws of protecting our speech.
Lesson 2
It is considered lashon hora to say that a person is lacking a certain virtue, even if it is true. It makes no difference whether it is that persons fault - or something beyond their control.
Beware of the following descriptions - their use can be detrimental:
Stupid, Immature, Idiot, Dumb, Babyish, unintelligent, backward, slow, dim-witted, dopey, childish, untalented, retarded, not all there, thick-skulled, dull, moron, not bright, limited, a fool, dense, silly....
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE
Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE
About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews, Entire Jewish Nation
Tefillas Ha’Sheloh is a special prayer composed by the Shloh Hakodosh to express the prayers of parents on behalf of their children. The Shloh said that the optimal time for parents to recite this prayer is Erev Rosh Chodesh Sivan (this year it’s on Tuesday, June 3), but it may be recited anytime.
Click the link below for Tefillas Ha’Sheloh in Hebrew on-line.
In one week from today, we will celebrate Matan Torah with Shavuos. Much in the same way as we get closer and closer to Yom Kippur do we feel a need to do Teshuva, or as we get closer and closer to Pesach do we feel a need to rid ourselves of our Chometz, so too, should we demonstrate our recognition of the advent and approach of Matan Torah. One should not take lightly the need to ready himself for receiving the Torah. Indeed, Chazal (Pesikta D’Rav Cahana, Piska 12) teach:
“HaKadosh Baruch Hu said to Klal Yisroel--when you read this Parsha [of Ma’amad Har Sinai] to me every year, I will consider it as if you were standing before me on Har Sinai and receiving the Torah.”
So, we must do something: waiting on line in the bakery for cheesecake (and reflecting on how many reasons you know for why we eat cheesecake on Shavuos) or even setting up a Chavrusah for Shavuos night, should not satisfy us. Just as B’nei Yisroel were conscious that they were traveling directly from Egypt to Har Sinai, and that they required several days of further preparation upon their arrival at Har Sinai, so, too, must we begin to sense the need to draw near and experience and inspire ourselves with Torah anew.
One easy method to accomplish this is simply take the time out in the week before Shavuos to learn an extra ten to fifteen minutes a day. If one were told that he was going to be receiving the Crown Jewels as a gift in one week, he would most certainly begin to demonstrate a newfound special love and care, a unique concern and appreciation--and a desire to learn more about them!
A second, more difficult, but likewise more rewarding and lasting, manner of demonstrating awareness of the time period that we are now in, is a point we have touched on in the past--properly fulfilling what Chazal describe as one of our important purposes in life--setting aside time for Torah study (Shabbos 31A). Indeed, every night in Maariv we recite “Ki Heym Chayeinu--for they are our life”… Likewise, Shlomo HaMelech (the wisest of all men) writes in Mishlei (3:18) “Eitz Chaim Hi…”--it is the Tree of Life for those who grab hold of it. So, just as one may need, on a daily basis, to imbibe oxygen, to take a particular treatment, to ingest a particular medication, in order to remain alive, we, too, must be sure--very sure--that we, too, are dutifully taking our daily dosage of Torah study, as well. There are several important points made by the Mishne Berurah (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 155) relating to Kevius Itim--designating those special times during the day. These are the Mishna Berura’s recommendations:
One should set aside time for Torah Study immediately after davening in the morning and the in the evening so that he is not sidetracked (or hoodwinked) by the Yetzer Hara and his emissaries;
One must be sure that in addition to any daily study of Tanach/Mishna/Gemara, to study books of Halacha. In fact, if one does not learn several hours a day, it is proper for one’s “Ikar Limud”--primary study--to be in Halacha L’Maaseh, in a way that he will understand and practically apply his studies;
If something happened which prevented him from his regular designated time of study, he should make it up as soon as possible, but the latest before going to sleep. Even if one cannot study at all, because of some event beyond his control, he should not depart from his place after davening until he has at least learned one Pasuk or one Halacha;
It is recommended that the set time for Torah study, if at all possible, be in a particular, designated place, and that the place should preferably in Shul;
If one learns as part of a group of people, it brings greater Kavod Shamayim (Biyur Halacha there); and
The Mechaber (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 238) writes that one should be even more careful with this set time for Torah study at night than by day (see Mishna Berurah there for a detailed explanation).
Let us take the time out to rededicate and reinvigorate ourselves with our Tree of Life, as we properly utilize this wonderful preparatory period for our very own, our very personal, Kabalas HaTorah!
-------------------------- reprinted with permission from Hakhel MIS --------------------------
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1 It is important to NOT ask for information from anybody who dislikes the person you are asking about. Likewise, do not ask a business person for information about his/her competitors. In such cases, the reply will usually contain outright lies or distortions of the truth. Lesson 2 The prohibition against speaking and hearing lashon hora also applies to relatives. For example, asking out of curiosity how one’s child or cousin is doing in school just for the sake of curiosity can elicit lashon hora. Again, seeking information about someone is permitted only when its for a constructive purpose.
Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE
Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE
When it is permissible to ask for information about someone, the person speaking is obligated to give a truthful answer, even if the reply will contain negative information.
Lesson 2
Again, even when circumstances allow for listening to a derogatory report for a beneficial and constructive purpose, it is forbiddent to accept the information as absolute truth. Just listen enough to be suspicious and protect yourself from possible harm or loss.
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE
Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE
In two different places in this week’s parsha, Rashi points out the importance of having good friends and neighbors. The Torah tells us that the Levi’im from the family of Kehos encamped on the southern side of the Mishkan. Rashi comments, "Woe unto the wicked one and woe unto his neighbor." Because the tribe of Reuven also encamped on the southern side in close proximity to Kehos, they suffered along with them. Korach, a Levi from the tribe of Kehos, drew Dasan, Avirom and two hundred and fifty others from the tribe of Reuven into his quarrel with Moshe, and they all perished as a result.
In contrast, Rashi notes that good neighbors have a positive impact. Moshe and Aharon and his children encamped on the eastern side of the Mishkan and the tribes of Yissocher and Zevulun, who also encamped on the eastern side, only benefited from their closeness to their great neighbors. Moshe toiled in Torah and his neighbors became great Torah scholars.
Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur vol. I pg. 32) gleans from the Rambam how to choose proper friends. The Gemara states, "He who does not study Tanach nor mishna nor is he ’bederech eretz’, is not part of society" (Kiddushin 40). The Rambam defines "bederech eretz" as being associated with "a group of good people who possess pleasantness and mussar." The Rambam specifies two conditions needed to create good camaraderie; pleasantness and mussar.
The Mishna tells us that a man must say three things in his house in preparation for Shabbos: "Did you take off the tithes? Did you prepare the eiruv? Light the candles!" The Gemara comments that they must be said in a pleasant tone so that one’s family members will accept what he has instructed them. Things said in a joking manner or in a state of anger will not be accepted, and will not create a bond of good friends.
However, this alone is not enough to ensure solid friendships. All emotional obstacles in relationships with friends stem from egotistical feelings. The desire to stand out or take control, offering unhelpful criticism and feelings of suspicion are all expressions of egoism that are abhorred in a friendship. One has to fight these negative thoughts and feelings in order to create and maintain a "good group." This is the "mussar" to which the Rambam was referring. Moreover, someone who has the merit to study in a place of Torah must take extra precautions when it comes to interaction with friends. The Gemara tells us that Rebbi Akiva had twenty four thousand disciples and they all passed away between Pesach and Shavuos because they did not honor each other properly.
One who is not particular in choosing friends and neighbors might very well suffer the consequences, while one who is careful only stands to gain!
This dvarTorah was compiled by the family of the Mashgiach Harav Shlomo ben R’ Moshe z"l, l’iluynishmaso
We said that its considered lashon hora to talk about someone elses negative character traits (i.e. anger, laziness). This is because its very likely that the person IS NOT aware of the seriousness of their actions. The proper approach to deal with this is to speak to the person directly and sensitively explain what is wrong with that trait. This way you can be helping out the person instead of harming them.
Lesson 2 -Relating Faults in Order to Prevent Imitation
If a person sees faulty characteristics in someone (i.e. a bad temper) and worries that their children or students might learn and imitate those traits, it is proper to warn them to keep away. If your intention is to make others aware and warn them to not follow someone with negative traits - you are permitted and it is considered it is a positive thing.The prohibition is about words being said to belittle and discrace the person being spoken about. (to be continued).
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE
Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE
Relating other peoples faults to prevent imitation - cont’d
Lesson 1 - We said that it is permitted to alert others (like children or students) about someone elses bad characteristics only if your intent is to warn them not to repeat/immitate those traits.
In such situations - you need to clearly explain to the child/student why you are repeating this negative information about another person.
Lesson 2 If an entire community acts improperly and you are scared that someone might copy their behavior, you are permitted to point out their shortcomings - ONLY to prevent someone from mingling with them.
(The specifics of these laws will be forthcoming)
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE
Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE
Important Numbers
![Blog Image: Tehillim[1].jpg](Local/blogimages/Tehillim[1].jpg)
