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Daily Shemiras Halashon Friday August 29
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
Sometimes a person who has been to a strange city or community feels that s/he hasnt been treated properly and consequently disparages that entire city or community. This is a serious violation of lashon hora since there are a large number of people being spoken about at once.
Lesson 2 - speaking about a community contd.
If you do think there’s an issue going on within a community (i.e. lack of hospitality), you are allowed to speak to a competent authority if your sole intention is for that person to constructively rebuke that community. All the laws of speaking for a constructive purpose apply.
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Posted 8/30/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Shabbos August 30, please print off
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
We are not allowed to speak lashon hora about an entire group, EVEN when we do not specify the names of any individuals. It is considered lashon hora to speak negatively about national or religious groups of Jews: i.e. chassidim, American jews, sfardim, ashkenasim, misnagdim.
Lesson 2
We are not allowed to say anything derogatory about Klal Yisrael (the Jewish people) as a whole. i.e. Jews are so.... or Everybody does ...
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Posted 8/30/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon 08/26/2008
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Please Say/Whisper the Words Out Loud
Lesson 1: The laws of onaas devarim (not causing harm
with words) applies even to parents when they speak to their children- even very
small children.
Lesson 2: Children as well, must be very careful
not to say things to their parents that will cause them pain.
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Posted 8/26/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon Sunday - refuah sheleimah of Gittel Shulamit bas Chaya Sara
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1:
If someone is forgetful or absentminded, try to remind them of things they are forgetting without insulting them.
Lesson 2:
If someone has lost or misplaced something, even if it happens all
the time, again, try to help them, remind them, without being
insulting.
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Posted 8/26/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon 08/25/2008 - Refuah Shleima for Yehudis bat Pearl
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
Accepting other people and their differences is one of the keys to observing the commandment of not causing pain with words.
Lesson 2
Belittling remarks from a teacher in the presence of one's classmates can be humiliating. Giving a student a positive attitude toward studying and gaining knowledge is more important than any specific detail a child may learn.
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Posted 8/26/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Thursday August 21
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Please Say/Whisper the Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
Bringing up painful incidents of the past that cannot be changed will cause suffering without being beneficial.
Lesson 2
Needlessly saying things to cause someone worry is considered onaas devarim (Verbal abuse). For example, "what if" statements. Or telling a parent who is sending off theirkid out of town for yeshiva/seminary things like "oh you dont know what could happen over there, people can get involved in all sorts of things..."
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Posted 8/22/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Hilchos Shemiras Halashon - Friday August 22
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
Attacking the motivation of others when they do good deeds can easily be onaas devarim (verbal abuse). For example, saying someone is only doing a certain kindness to get attention, or giving tzedaka for tax credit purposes.
Lesson 2
If someone is affiliated with a particular institution, be careful with what you say about that institution in the persons presence. Be careful not to badmouth, criticize, or put down the system or people who work there. This can make the person feel bad about themselves, and also change their perspective about that organization.
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Posted 8/22/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Hilchos Shemiras Halashon - Please Print off for Shabbos 22nd Av, August 23
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Please Say/Whisper the Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
Statements implying that someone lacks maturity (i.e. "you’re so immature" or "i guess you don’t understand these things") are frequently a violation of the prohibition against causing pain with words.
Lesson 2 It is onaas devarim (verbal abuse) to make insulting remarks to someone about his/her cooking!
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Posted 8/22/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Wednesday August 20
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Please Say/Whisper the Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
It is important that we not insult someone for being different from us in personality, thought, religion, background, habits etc. If we do so, this can be considered Onaas Devaim (Verbal Abuse).
Lesson 2
Making belittling comments to a person about their job or professional competency constitutes onaas devarim as well. For example, saying something like "only losers do that kind of job" or "people in that field arent too smart"...
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Posted 8/20/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Tuesday August 19
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1: When we are close friends with someone, we often have expectations that can cause us frustration if they are not met. If a friend fails to act toward you in a manner you would wish, word your requests in a positive manner otherwise it can put a strain on your relationship and cause onaas devarim. I.e "why didn’t you call me in over a month? this shows you really didn’t care...". Instead "I really enjoy talking to you you must have been very busy lately...".
Lesson 2: We should be careful not to disparate the Torah thoughts of other people. You dont have to agree with them, but hear them out, learn... and be polite.
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Posted 8/19/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Monday August 18
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Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
Parents should educate their children about shmirat halashon. Habit is one of the main reasons why people are so careless in speaking lashon hora. If a parent would train their kids in this from early on, it would be easier for them to avoid speaking lashon hora when they grow up.
Lesson 2
The laws of onaas devorim (verbal abuse) are based on the subjective response of the person you are talking to. Even if many others wouldn’t care, if the person you say it to will be distressed, upset, angry or offended, don’t say it.
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Posted 8/19/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Sunday August 17
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Please Say/Whisper the Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
When someone has made a mistake because they didn’t listen to your advice, you may be tempted to rub it in... "i told you so". When someone suffers because of an error, avoid making comments about what s/he should have done. People can not go backward in time.
Lesson 2
Pessimistic statements needlessly causes people to worry about things that never happen. Even if something will go wrong in a year or two, if at present you cant do anything to change the situation, why bring it up? Examples include telling someone who just got engaged "don’t think that marriage is so easy. a lot of people suffer even more after being married... you don’t know what your in for".
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Posted 8/17/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Thursday August 14
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Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
Statements that contain associations which are painful for a particular person can be considered onaas devorim (verbal abuse). If the person you are speaking to would suffer, even if the same thing wouldn't mean anything to someone else, you should not bring it up. For example, if someones friend or relative overdosed, don't bring up that word in front of them, even if you are speaking about someone else.
Lesson 2
If someone tries to share their problems with you and you say to them "I don't care, that's your problem" You can be causing them a lot of pain. Feeling that no one cares about your difficulties in life makes those difficulties harder to cope with.
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Posted 8/14/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Hilchos Shmirat Halashon - Wed 08/13/2008 Refuah Shelaima to SOULICA BAT YAMNA
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Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
Everyone
needs privacy to different degrees.. If someone has a high level of
curiosity and is very persistent in asking you personal questions, be
polite in your refusal. Instead of "mind your own business" try
something like "I really would appreciate if you refrain from asking
these types of questions".
Lesson 2
At times, another person would
prefer for you not to be aware of some personal information about them.
You may be tempted to mention that you know it. Without a constructive
purpose, this would be considered verbal abuse. Needlessly telling that
person that you know will cause pain. For example, bringing up someone
elses medical condition, financial difficulties, a fight someone was
in...
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Posted 8/13/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Halacha on Shemiras Halashon - Tuesday August 12
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Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
When
we ask a storekeeper for the price of an item they are selling
needlessly, we are building up their hopes that they will make a sale.
If we have no intention of buying anything and are just asking out of
curiosity, we have an obligation to notify the owner that we are just
curious. Same goes for asking a real estate agent to show you homes.
Lesson 2
One
of the main reasons people insult others is because they lack the
assertiveness to approach someone directly with honesty and respect
when the are displeased. People who lack assertiveness are likely to
remain silent when others take advantage or annoy them. They then hold
it in till they explode and insult.
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Posted 8/12/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Hilchos Shemiras Halashon - Tishah B"Av - August 10
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Please Say/Whisper the Words Out Loud.
Lesson 1.
If you knew that by speaking impulsively you would lose a large sum of money, you would be very careful to avoid saying anything impulsively. The cure for impulsive speech is taking two or three seconds to think about whether or not you should say what you are about to say.
Lesson 2
Deprecatory statements that would normally be permitted under certain circumstances (i.e. you have a beneficial and constructive intentions, are forbidden to be said if the listener will mistakenly think that you are speaking lashon hora. That would be considered avak lashon hora (a tinge of lashon hora).
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Posted 8/11/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Halacha on Shemiras Halashon - Monday August 11
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Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
If
someone shows you something they have just bought, don’t comment
negatively on its quality, durability, price, limitations, or anything
else (unless its for a constructive purpose). Think about whether or
not its returnable. Try to find and comment on the positive qualities
of the item.
Lesson 2
Sharing successes with someone who
will appreciate them is great. Boasting however, can cause distress.
Especially when you boast about something you can do that they cant.
I.e. Boasting to someone who is having difficulty getting married about
how wonderful you find it to be married.
(Note. this doesn’t mean to keep your successes private, just
means to be sensitive and try to feel what the other person might feel
by your comments. Everyone responds differently)
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Posted 8/11/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Hilchos Shemiras Halashon - Thursday August 7
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Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud
Lesson 1 - Approval seeking cont’d.
Even if you find someones drive for approval irritating, be careful how you speak to them. A negative approach would be "you have no mind of your own. You do things only so others will like you. you are a robot and puppet. you have no sense of self... everyone hates when you act like that"/. This manner of speaking to such a person is destructive and will have negative consequences.
Lesson 2
It is wise to keep a distance from groups that are discussing the merits of others. It is almost inevitable that some faults will be mentioned. This applies even if the subject of the conversation is a great Torah scholar. Peoples different opinions can cause lashon hora to be spoken.
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Posted 8/9/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Hilchos Shemiras Halashon - Friday August 8
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Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
So what would be the positive approach to approval seeking? If you take an objective look at the tendency to seek approval, you will see how much someone loses out by it. When we learn to keep our major focus on more elevated motivations for what we do, we will gain in many ways.
Lesson 2
We are not allowed to praise someone when the praise implies a deficiency in another aspect of the persons character. For example, saying something like "Yoily tries so hard to understand the lesson". This isnt allowed if it is said in a manner that implies that he is not clever or has to work extra hard to understand.
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Posted 8/9/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Hilchos Shemiras Halashon - Please print off to read on Shabbos August 9
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Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud
Lesson 1
If you have a tendency to say things impulsively, you are likely to say many things that you shouldn’t have said. Without even realizing it, many peoples feelings can be hurt. Its important to remember to think before we speak. Keep asking yourself "will i cause anyone pain by what i plan to say?
Lesson 2
We should not praise someone if they will ultimately suffer from our praise. For example, Suri’s employer gave her an extra large bonus. Suri shouldn’t tell her co-workers, "The boss is a great person, this week she gave me double my usual salary". This can cause others to resent or speak badly of her as well as perhaps impact her relationships with her coworkers and boss.
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Posted 8/9/2008 12:00 AM |
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Important Numbers
