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Shmirat Halashon 09/23/2008 -Rchliut Continued
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1 : We are not allowed to relate rchilut even in the event that we will be cursed and insulted because of our silence. Don’t be phased by the unpleasantness of the situation.
Lesson 2 : Someone asks you for information that would be considered rchilut: "what did s/he say about me?" or "did s/he vote for me?". What should you? If you merely refuse to answer, the questioner will assume that the person acted negatively against them. If you can avoid telling an outright lie, you must do so. Very often by simply leaving out a few details, your narrative will be free from rchilut. If its not possible, you are allowed to lie for the sake of peace. (You are not however allowed to swear falsely).
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Posted 9/25/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon 09/24/2008 Rchilut Continued
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1 : There is a general misconception that if no names are mentioned in a conversation, the dialogue is automatically free of rchilut and completely permissible. This is not correct. If the listener will be able to deduce the identity of the person you are referring to, even though you dont mention any names, your narrative is considered rchilut.
Lesson 2 ; When the listener already knows about a certain action but does not know the identity of the person presponsible, it is considered rchilut to point the guilty person out (even if you only hint through signs)
Rchilut = Reporting to someoen waht others have said or done against them. i.e. "Mr X toldm e you are dishonest"
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Posted 9/25/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon for Friday 09/19/2008 - Rchilut Continued
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Please Say/Whisper the Words Out Loud
Lesson
1
Rchilut is not allowed even if all the details of your narration are
true. E.g. "but i heard it myself. That’s exactly what s/he said about
you".
Lesson 2
The most serious type of rchilut is the type
that causes two people who have been close friends to dislike each other.
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Rchilut = Reporting to others what someone has done or spoken
against them.
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Posted 9/22/2008 12:00 AM |
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Posted 9/22/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon - 09/21/2008
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Please Say/Whisper the Words Out
Loud
Lesson 1: Lashon Hora without mentioning
names is still considered lashon hora if the listener will be able to figure out
the identity of the person.
Lesson 2:
Any statement, even if not derogatory, that might ultimately cause
financial loss, physical pain, mental anguish, or any damage is lashon hara.
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Posted 9/22/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmiras Halashon 09/16/2008
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
The definition of rchilut is: Reporting to someone what others have done or spoken against them.
e.g. Mr X told me that you are dishonest". or Mrs. A. tried to have you expelled from school.
Lesson 2
If the information is necessary for a constructive purpose, it is permissible to relate rchilut when those specified conditions are met.
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Posted 9/18/2008 12:00 AM |
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Posted 9/18/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon 09/11/2008 - Repeating Lashon Hora Spoken in Presence of 3 people -contd.
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Please Say/Whisper the Words Out Loud
Lesson 1 - 2nd condition for repeating...
B. The special (and lenient) category of repeating LH spoken in the presence of 3 people applies ONLY to someone who has her/himself heard it in the presence of 3 people. If it was heard with less than 3 people, or even if the speak assures you that s/he initially said it in front of 3 people, you CANNOT repeat it.
Lesson 2 - 3d condition for repeating
If any of the 3 listeners is the type of person who guards their speech and will not repeat the lashon hora, it is forbidden for the others to repeat it. The same is true if one of the 3 is a relative or close friend of the person spoken about. In these cases, they won’t repeat it, so itts like it was only said in front of 2.
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(In case you missed the last 2 related lessons - Recap from before.
Although there’s the opinion that it’s okay to repeat lashon hora spoken in the presence of 3 or more people, it is not widely accepted. However, even if this lenient opinion is accepted, there are many conditions that restrict its applicability.
Qualifications for repeating information spoken about in front of 3 people
A. Even if lashon hora was told in the presence of 3 people, it is forbidden to be spread purposefully. The lenient opinion only allows the information to be INCIDENTALLY repeated, without any intent to publicize it. (to be continued)
** Note - Some people have been getting this email for quite a long time and may find it boring or repetitive. Some have requested different daily lessons and I am starting a daily lesson that’s more hassidic in nature. If you would like to stop receiving the shmirat halashon emails, switch to the others, or join both, please let me know! Thank you for your continued learning
---
These lessons are taken directly from Guard Your Tongue by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin - Adapted from the teachings of the Chafetz Chaim
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Posted 9/16/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon 09/10/2008 - Repeating Lashon Hora Spoken in Presence of 3 people
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1 - Recap
Although there’s the opinion that it’s okay to repeat lashon hora spoken in the presence of 3 or more people, it is not widely accepted. However, even if this lenient opinion is accepted, there are many conditions that restrict its applicability.
Lesson 2 - Qualifications for repeating information spoken about in front of 3 people
A. Even if lashon hora was told in the presence of 3 people, it is forbidden to be spread purposefully. The lenient opinion only allows the information to be INCIDENTALLY repeated, without any intent to publicize it. (to be continued)
** Note - Some people have been getting this email for quite a long time and may find it boring or repetitive. Some have requested different daily lessons and I am starting a daily lesson that’s more hassidic in nature. If you would like to stop receiving the shmirat halashon emails, switch to the others, or join both, please let me know! Thank you for your continued learning
- Ora
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Posted 9/16/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Monday September 15
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
Don’t repeat lashon hora that is common knowledge. If you look at all the conditions necessary to allow the repetition of this information, you will find that the lenient opinion is only applicable in extremely rare cases. Furthermore, even if all the conditions are met, the chafetz chaim was not resolved whether we can rely on this position.
Lesson 2 - recap of all the conditions
a. the repetition of the information cannot be purposeful, only if was incidental
b. 3 people had to have been present, you cant just assume they wee
c. if one of the 3 are the type who don’t repeat lashon hora, you cannot count it as three people
d. only if it is repeated in the city it was originally heard in
e. If the initial speaker indicated s/he doesn’t want the info spread, all bets are off
f. has to be one person relating it to three (not any other numbers or categories)
g. you cannot believe what is repeated at face value
h. you cannot add to the narrative
i. you cannot repeat well known information about past misdeeds if they don’t do it anymore
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Posted 9/16/2008 12:00 AM |
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Posted 9/16/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon 09/12/2008- For Friday - Repeating lashon hora said in front of 3 people cont'd
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Please Say/ Whisper the Words Out Loud
Lesson 1- 4th Condition
The lenient opinion (allowing one to repeat this information) only permits the lashon hora to be repeated in the city where it was originally heard, since there it would be spread by the 3 people who have heard it. (If the city where the LH was spoken initially is very large, this cannot be applied).
Lesson 2 - 5th condition
If the person who originally related the lashon hora in the presence of 3 indicated in any manner taht s/he does not want the info spread any further, the listeners are forbidden to repeat the LH to anyone else since chances are at least 1 listener will obey the speakers request.
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(In case you missed the last related lessons - Recap from before.
Although there’s the opinion that it’s okay to repeat lashon hora spoken in the presence of 3 or more people, it is not widely accepted. However, even if this lenient opinion is accepted, there are many conditions that restrict its applicability.
Qualifications for repeating information spoken about in front of 3 people
A. Even if lashon hora was told in the presence of 3 people, it is forbidden to be spread purposefully. The lenient opinion only allows the information to be INCIDENTALLY repeated, without any intent to publicize it. (to be continued)
B. The special (and lenient) category of repeating LH spoken in the presence of 3 people applies ONLY to someone who has her/himself heard it in the presence of 3 people. If it was heard with less than 3 people, or even if the speak assures you that s/he initially said it in front of 3 people, you CANNOT repeat it.
C. If any of the 3 listeners is the type of person who guards their speech and will not repeat the lashon hora, it is forbidden for the others to repeat it. The same is true if one of the 3 is a relative or close friend of the person spoken about. In these cases, they won’t repeat it, so itts like it was only said in front of 2.
** Note - Some people have been getting this email for quite a long time and may find it boring or repetitive. Some have requested different daily lessons and I am starting a daily lesson that’s more hassidic in nature. If you would like to stop receiving the shmirat halashon emails, switch to the others, or join both, please let me know! Thank you for your continued learning
---
These lessons are taken directly from Guard Your Tongue by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin - Adapted from the teachings of the Chafetz Chaim
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Posted 9/16/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon 09/04/08
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
If you are in a position where you have to wake people up in the morning, Do not make any derogatory comments like "get up lazy bones" or "if you don't get up now, you are proving that you never get anything done...". Rather, use encouraging comments that motivate people. People who look forward to a bright day and tell themselves they will be able to accomplish a lot, find it much easier to wake up with enthusiasm.
Lesson 2
If someone does something that wastes your money, i.e. throwing out food that could still be eaten, do not speak in a manner that would be onaas devarim. Especially when the loss is minimal, badgering someone about inconsequential matters creates resentment and animosity. The loss of peace of mind and tranquility is much greater than the loss of money.
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Posted 9/8/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Hilchos Shemiras Halashon 09/05/08
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
If you want someone who is making a lot of noise to be quiet or to listen to what you have to say, word your request in a polite manner. The expression "Shut Up" is demeaning and usually onaas dvorim (verbal abuse).
Lesson 2
When telling someone to be quiet instead of, "you are a blabber-mouth, you talk and talk and don’t let anyone say anything. Whats wrong with you" or "will you shut up already", try positive approaches that show respect and give the person incentive to listen to what you have to say e.g. "I need to concentrate right now, I would greatly appreciate if you could dbe quiet" or "I’d like to express my opinion, let me have a chance, then i can continue hearing what you have to say".
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Posted 9/8/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Halachos on Shemiras Halashon - please print off for Shabbos 09/06/08
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
There is an opinion that if someone spoke lashon hora in the presence of 3 or more people and they subsequently repeat this information, they are not guilty of speaking lashon hora. The reasoning is that when as many as 3 people are aware of something, we assume that it definitely will be spread, and according to this opinion, something that will become common knowledge is not prohibited as lashon hora.
Lesson 2 - continued from above
NOTE - that is a lenient opinion and isnt accepted with most authorities. Even when its accepted (that you can repeat info said in the presence of 3 or more people), there are numerous qualifications that restrict its applicability. Even if all the conditions are met, which is extrmeeley rare, the Chofetz chaim remains in doubt as to whether this opinion can be relied upon. To be continued.
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Posted 9/8/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Hilchos Shmirat Halashon - Wednesday September 3
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1 : "Maybe this is too hard for you". At first glance, this can sound helpful. But it may be a subtle way of insulting someone. Why was it necessary to add "for you"? Such statements depend on your intention and on the way the listener will respond.
Lesson 2 : We are not allowed to do or say things to scare others. This includes giving people false information as a joke, such as telling them their house burnt down or that someone was in an accident.
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Posted 9/4/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Monday September 1
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1 : Q. Are we allowed to speak lashon hora to Hashem/God - for ex. if you want to vent or mentally work out a problem with someone else.
A. Surprizingly, NO. If we need to work out a problem, we need to speak to a trustworthy objective, third party person who can actually help us work it out. When we speak to Hashem about these kind of problems, we are venting to God Lashon hora, and that has no function other than tattletaling. Even though it may make us feel better at the time, it is not okay to complain to Gd about others.
Lesson 2 : Q. If we know someone is about to do something really wrong, are we allowed to tell them lashon hora to prevent them from doing that. For ex. If you know a guy is about to date a woman who you know is married (and is not saying that important fact). A. Yes! You would be obligated to say something (Carefully, constructively, and if you know it for a fact).
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Posted 9/2/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Sunday August 31
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Please say/whisper the words out loud.
Lesson 1 : Repeating Lashon Hara that is common knowledge- is the same thing as saying lashon hara for the first time or in secret. doesn’t matter if its well known or not.
Lesson 2 : People often think its okay to do...Even if the speech was bad or content was simple. It is considered Lashon hara to mock or ridicule the speaker. Your opinion is subjective - and even if you didnt like what was said - others may have. the speaker can have a great influence on someone else.
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Posted 9/1/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Wednesday August 27
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Please Say/Whisper the Words Out Loud
Lesson 1 : If you have witnessed someone cheating or harming another person, and you are sure that s/he has not compensated the victim, you may relate this incident to another person for either of 2 beneficial and constructive purposes.
Lesson 2 : Continued from above - condition A: if what you are saying with all the victim in receiving compensation for their loss. or B. your narrative will prevent others from harm by showing them that dishonest people are held in disdain. It is also possible that the person you speak about will mend their ways by learning that they cannot get away with with such behavior.
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Posted 8/30/2008 12:00 AM |
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Daily Shemiras Halashon Thursday August 28
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1 : If someone has cheated or embarrassed you, you are not allowed to tell others about it. Although you might claim that your sole intention is to disgrace the wrongdoer, your personal involvement will influence you to be motivated by the desire for revenge.
Lesson 2 : When someone refuses to do you a favor, you are not allowed to mention that to others. This would include instances where the person did not lend you money, give you charity, invite you to their house, or greet you in a pleasant manner. Mentioning your annoyance is considered lashon hora.
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Posted 8/30/2008 12:00 AM |
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Important Numbers
